Respect

[The General 11309]

I have basically gone through this whole post, and it is really easy to touch on some subjects that are sensitive.

 

My personal experience on this board is that it is mostly about sexual content and allows a fair amount of freedom of thought and expression. We use this alot to express ourselves and how we feel and think.

 

For the most part the language is reasonable, but there is a lot of slang terms used, but those terms are often using in a sexual content, one that many of us would use the term "dirty talk", as part of sexual play.

 

I have not seen this used very often to insult or degrade or objectify individuals and I would think that most people on this board would be very tolerant of that, especially with the kind of board it is. I am surprised that there is so much offense to the language, and I am sure even those raising the strongest objections have been guilty themselves from time to time.

 

Of all the places I thought there would be some latitude provided, it was here. I have no problem with the language used, I don't think I use it much myself, but do from time to time, but I think it goes with this type of board. If it isn't what you find acceptable or at least tolerate it, I wonder if this is the right board for you.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

*starts singing*

 

Feel-ings...

Every-body has... FEEL-INGS!

[castle 38816]

One of the best things I've seen written on this site in a while. Couldn't possibly agree with this more.

 

Words are funny things. Sometimes, it bugs me to read guys talk about women's vaginas as 'dripping wet pussies' or the like. Other times, I use the word pussy myself in my ads.

 

As the gentlemen I quoted above said, as long as the person writing it wasn't intending to be disrespectful, I think we should leave it at that. We're all different. I responded to the 'daty vs digits' thread, because I have no issue sharing that information. I can completely understand that not all women feel the same way - but I don't see why we need to chastise the questioner for asking those things.

 

THere have been threads, and responses to threads, that I've read on here that have been completely vulgar and inappropriate, I think to most people who read them. But the one thing I really love about the cerb gentlemen is that i've found they're usually the first ones to call out the offender and tell that person why what they said is wrong. And that makes me happy to be here.

 

Couldn't agree more, Cleo! CERB is nothing if not a place which celebrates diversity...in every respect, including the sexual. Some people like to get explicit, some don't. Some people like to say pussy, some like to say kitty, some like to say vagina (which sounds a little clinical if you ask me, I have a preference for "kitty" myself :p). The intent of a post is everything, not the language. If the poster's heart is in the right place, and is being respectful, I honestly don't care what words they're using.

 

And as for certain topics being offensive, I agree some may be, but others which are being deemed as offensive, I think really are not...a good example is the Daty vs Digits thread. The OP just had an honest question, I don't think he views the women here as just a list of acronyms and services..it's just that, where else can he ask such a question and get an unbiased, non-judgmental female point of view from multiple sources? This is one of the things I like most about cerb. I recently posted a similar thread, asking about a particular fantasy of mine, http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58575, Now, my posting this question doesn't mean I only view the ladies here as something to cum on. I have the utmost respect for the ladies here. It's just that being someone who has never been ejaculated on, I was curious how pleasant or unpleasant this act would be to ladies and if my request would be deemed unacceptable or not, and was looking for multiple points of views. Now where else could I go to get an non-judgmental opinion on such a topic? It's not exactly something I can ask my female friends on facebook about, lol. Nor can I ask any of my female coworkers lol...I can picture it now "Hey Becky, did you get that memo about that new policy? Ok good. Oh by the way, can I get your opinion on something as a woman? How would you feel about your male partner cumming on your face and then proceeding to go down on you before you have a chance to clean up?" ...yeah...that would go over REAL well...goodbye job, hello, black eye and a sexual harassment suit :p. So really....there's not really any other place for us to ask these types of questions.

 

At the end of the day, considering the type of site that cerb is, there will always be posts or threads that will offend some and not others. If a certain topic offends us we just need to say to ourselves "oh well" and move on to the next thread.

 

p.s, a little bit of shameless self promotion here :p, but I understand how many people may feel the need to censor themselves on the general topics or recommendations for fear of offending others, I find myself doing the same. So to those people who enjoy getting a little more explicit, and enjoy occasionally using some non-PC terms (in other words, people who like to talk dirty) but are afraid to do it on the open forums, feel free to join up the "Fans of The Lost Art (or not so lost art) of Dirty Talking" group, http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=88. It's new and only has a few posts so far, but I'm hoping all you "dirty little perverts" ;) will help me get it filled full of filthy fucking nastiness, lol. I'm hoping it'll be no holds barred there as it's all just for fun and fantasy and not actual recommendations or anything, in other words, nothing meant to be taken to heart or taken too seriously.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I think umm, err.. you are all right! perhaps I have been blinded by any vulgerness or have just missed out, but I do see so many positive lovely and beautiful words on here everyday said about the awesome ladies and gents on here.

You all rule and rock by the flock! thank you!

[Sensual Erin 33935]

All I have to say right now from this quote is I'm not a "he." I'm a "female" provider that expressed myself. I agree on many points but I am not a "he."

 

And as for certain topics being offensive, I agree some may be, but others which are being deemed as offensive, I think really are not...a good example is the Daty vs Digits thread. The OP just had an honest question, I don't think he views the women here as just a list of acronyms and services..it's just that, where else can he ask such a question and get an unbiased, non-judgmental female point of view from multiple sources?

[castle 38816]

All I have to say right now from this quote is I'm not a "he." I'm a "female" provider that expressed myself. I agree on many points but I am not a "he."

 

And as for certain topics being offensive, I agree some may be, but others which are being deemed as offensive, I think really are not...a good example is the Daty vs Digits thread. The OP just had an honest question, I don't think he views the women here as just a list of acronyms and services..it's just that, where else can he ask such a question and get an unbiased, non-judgmental female point of view from multiple sources?

 

Ack, sorry Erin! By "he" I was referring to the original poster of the daty vs digits thread. My apologies if that wasn't clear :redface: I am very much aware that you are all woman :)

[Sensual Erin 33935]

That's ok. lol! I realized that after and went to delete but couldn't. It's all good. I think it's time for me to retire for the night.

 

Hugs to everyone. We're a good group here. Although his thread went a little haywire and apologies were not publically displayed for the obvious negativity or misunderstandings, I've accepted that. It's our life's journey and not all can agree to disagree. A thread like this really makes you realize so many things. I now know who I can debate with and who I cannot. Life is a constant learning experience. I've learned that although the one's that had rumpled feathers and insulted my friends here with no thought or apology are simply individuals I do not relate too.

 

Your thoughts are much appreciated and thank you. I think it's now time to put this aside.

[wellie 652]

Dear Erin,

Is the second paragraph your opinion or castle's? I believe it is a direct quote from castle's post. I further believe the the OP castle is referring to is the OP of the "digits" thread, and that would be Wellie, who is a male.

If you agree with the second paragraph, I am very pleased.

 

All I have to say right now from this quote is I'm not a "he." I'm a "female" provider that expressed myself. I agree on many points but I am not a "he."

 

And as for certain topics being offensive, I agree some may be, but others which are being deemed as offensive, I think really are not...a good example is the Daty vs Digits thread. The OP just had an honest question, I don't think he views the women here as just a list of acronyms and services..it's just that, where else can he ask such a question and get an unbiased, non-judgmental female point of view from multiple sources?

[Phaedrus 209521]

Well, there's certainly been a lot of activity hereabouts recently :) A few things to say...

 

I started this thread and never expected to evolve into insulting or belittling others in order to attack a claim or invalidate all argument, or shall I say "valid opinions and thoughts?'

 

Well, welcome to the Internet. You can never predict what will happen to anything here. We'll probably all be on The National tomorrow.

 

I don't even look at the reco's to be honest. To be brutally honest, I think they're $hit.

 

Well, each to their own. I don't particularly enjoy the blow-by-blow accounts of what someone did in what positions and how many orgasms they (think they) gave the lady either, but those bits are easy enough to skim over while reading, and I daresay other folks like them. The important message of a reco - "I saw X, and had a good time" is what matters, and that invariably gets through.

 

What I would like to say, though, is that it was the recos that brought me here in the first place - and although I can't speak for anyone else, I suspect I'm not the only one to whom this applies. I started off looking at the recos while trying to pluck up the courage to actually go and see someone, and then at some point began reading the other forums too, and then contributing occasionally, and... well, here we are! The point is that without the recos I probably wouldn't be here in the first place. You may or may not consider this a good thing :)

 

As for the complaints from various people about various threads not being to their liking... seriously, folks, get over it. The world is not always going to arrange itself to your liking, even a relatively friendly corner of it like CERB, and I don't believe that complaining makes friends or influences people. As a more constructive suggestion, perhaps those people who don't like certain styles of thread could attempt to redress the balance by starting more threads of the sort that they approve of, or contributing more to the threads they like? You never know, you might manage to get other people to join in too...

 

On the DATY vs digits thread, which was explicitly complained about: if that thread means that a single SP somewhere doesn't get her cervix bruised and her vagina scraped by an over-enthusiastic but ignorant client, I think it'll have been well worth it. Knowledge is good. The squeamish are free to look away. But really, it'd be nice if people would contemplate the consequences of ignorance before getting too offended by someone asking a well-meant question in one of the few places anywhere where they might get a sensible answer from a knowledgeable person.

 

And yes, I'm aware of the irony of my complaining about other people complaining, but I don't see any way around it.

 

and now those fucking cats are in just about every thread..

 

 

Bait... taken. See what complaining gets you? :)

[Daniel17 3616]

First off, I want to apologize to anybody I offended with my earliest post. It wasn't my intention, but reflecting back on how I worded things, I can easily see how it could have been viewed that way. For that, I apologize, the last thing I wanted to do is attack people on a personal level. The intention of my post was that I was disappointed in the concepts as a whole of certain posts/threads, not specific people. I can see how I constructed my previous post that it might have gave the impression that I attacked people and for that again, I honestly apologize.

 

I am sad though that people have decided to attack other posters just because they disagree with their opinion. If you disagree with someone's opinion, that is fine, but disagree with their opinion, please don't go attacking the person. What are you standing to gain? It really disappoints me when people attacked Berlin earlier in this thread, and other posters have asked me to leave CERB, because my opinion is different then theirs?

 

If there's one thing that irritates me, it's people who aren't open to others opinions and are so firm on their own stances. And people on here who think because their opinion is correct that they write in this thread continuously that they do not need to apologize... There are many things that my friends and I disagree on. But the last thing I do to them or they do to me is ever force anything on me or them, whether it be religion, opinion, beliefs on touchy subjects etc. I might not believe in the same things as them, but whatever their beliefs, religions are, I respect it. I don't see it as wrong, I just see it as different.

 

Sorry that I might come off as an over-sensitive baby who is a "traitor" because I side with the girls, instead of the boys. I really don't see this as an issue of girls vs boys at all. I see this as an issue as different opinions. I'm not saying my side is right, I'm not saying the other side is wrong, I'm just giving my opinion, and I think both sides should respect each others opinions, not attack the poster. Just be respectful.

 

I also don't think just because you have a million posts, a dozen awards, or because you have a valued member beside your name here means you should be on a higher level then everybody else. Some people seem to believe that because they have those things that their opinion is more valued or that they should be treated with more respect. In my honest opinion, I think respect should be even steven, not different because you post a million reco's, or have a reputation point score of one gajillion. I think the newbie who still has a moderated account deserves the same amount of respect as the person who posts the most.

 

Now in my opinion, I am not saying that my opinion is correct, it is just my perspective on these topics. I don't have a problem with swearing, using vulgar language, or sexual terms. It just depends on the context that it is sometimes continuously used, and that is what kind of disappoints me.

 

Like for example, I don't know if you guys have noticed but in the RHAG group, they pit two girls against each other in a poll of who is better, I suppose? Sure, they have the freedom to write what they want, but IN MY OPINION, I think these type of threads are extremely disrespectful to the women here. You are essentially telling a girl that based on public opinion, she is less desirable. How would the guys like it here is the women had a thread on which guys have a bigger cock? And pitted two guys against each other. Sure you don't have to look at the thread, but let's be honest, if you were put up in the polls, you would look.... and how would you feel if you lost? It would hurt. Don't lie. It would hurt. Not only does it hurt, but now everyone else on CERB knows..... that sick feeling, that is kind of the feeling or pressure you are putting on these girls by continuously feeding these types of threads.

 

This issue has nothing at all to do with girls vs boys. It's an issue of respect, and I just think it's something we all need to work on, myself included. Lastly again, I apologize for anybody I offended.

[Andee 220524]

All I have to say right now from this quote is I'm not a "he." I'm a "female" provider that expressed myself. I agree on many points but I am not a "he."

 

And as for certain topics being offensive, I agree some may be, but others which are being deemed as offensive, I think really are not...a good example is the Daty vs Digits thread. The OP just had an honest question, I don't think he views the women here as just a list of acronyms and services..it's just that, where else can he ask such a question and get an unbiased, non-judgmental female point of view from multiple sources?

 

I am confused by this because you said in your original post:

 

So when I wake up with my morning coffee, log into to read the General Discussion area and see thread titles of "Daty vs Digits." "Greek or no Greek", etc. It really makes me question things here and a few have almost made me spit of my coffee on a few occasions.

Could it be when you actually read the post (not just the title), you realized it wasn't offensive to you at all. Sometimes there is just no other way to call something other than what it is. Period. And as service providers (in your case MA), we need not be so squeamish about words..or the reason why we are here.

 

Let's get real folks. No matter how you want to sugar coat it, it's not just about dinner dates, relaxing massage and cuddling - we are in the business of selling sex, period!

 

And this is an escort review board, and the tamest, most respectful one you will find probably find on the planet.

 

I worked in the corporate world, in offices for over 25 years and can tell you disrespect comes in many forms and I have experienced less of it here on CERB than I ever did working with rude women and men who I had to face day in and day out.

 

Now days, if I don't like the cut of someone's jib, I don't have to see them or read or respond to their posts!!

 

Erin, I appreciate the point you were trying to get across, but take it from someone who has been in the business since the mid 90s, at the end of the day, I think we have a pretty good community here.

 

And I would say the majority of the members on this board behave quite respectfully. The other minority few, bear no mind to.

 

Oh, and one more thing that is pretty obvious: you can't legislate common sense or manners no matter how right you may be

[wellie 652]

......

On the DATY vs digits thread, which was explicitly complained about: if that thread means that a single SP somewhere doesn't get her cervix bruised and her vagina scraped by an over-enthusiastic but ignorant client, I think it'll have been well worth it. Knowledge is good. The squeamish are free to look away. But really, it'd be nice if people would contemplate the consequences of ignorance before getting too offended by someone asking a well-meant question in one of the few places anywhere where they might get a sensible answer from a knowledgeable person.

 

:)

 

Thank you Phaedrus. I think all readers of CERB should note your point..

[Daniel17 3616]

 

Sure this forum is about respect and so is this thread and you have been disrespectful to great many. If the kitchen is too hot (or you don't like the heat) get OUT lol.

 

I'm sorry if I disrespected people, it wasn't my intention, but the last thing I think anybody should be doing on CERB is to be encouraging people to leave?

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I'm sorry if I disrespected people, it wasn't my intention, but the last thing I think anybody should be doing on CERB is to be encouraging people to leave?

 

I think he was just being funny, let's all be friends shall we?

[Daniel17 3616]

Agreed. I wish that as well.

[Lowdark 5613]

Some of negativity that has appeared in this thread probably boils down to some members (men and women alike) feeling disrespected and under appreciated. It has always been my belief that the women here should be treated with the highest level of respect and dignity. When things like "a menu" are discussed, it's easy to see how it encourages the perception that women are merely a package of options and preferences. I mean, how would we guys feel if the ladies here made it a policy to only see men who do certain things or who met their own personal physical criteria? Trust me, I'm not saying that's how some of the guys think, but I think we can agree that it isn't a stretch to see how some ladies can get that impression. Everyone should should keep in mind that while we all embrace free speech, words are the most powerful things we wield and we would all be well advised to think the ones we choose through carefully. Remember, everyone here is someone's child, possibly someone's parent and are all thinking, caring, fearing, fragile human beings. If we can't play nice here, where can we?

 

With Respects;

[VedaSloan 119179]

First off, to clarify: I do not care about threads discussing various services, I do not care what language you use to describe body parts or services.

 

My post was kind of a garbled rant; chalk it up to posting at 4am.

 

What I found incredibly offensive were various posters brushing off Erin's concerns by saying she is "too sensitive." She's an adult who expressed her opinion. This is the sense of entitlement I am referring to; that since you disagree with her, it's ok to be condescending and dismissive.

 

And to WIT, I feel that referring to this thread and threads like it as "client-bashing" is sensationalism at best. Some of the things I brought up were totally off-topic and I got a bit carried away, and I apologize for that--I certainly believe that jerkoff clients are in the minority, but some of them are also CERB posters. So yes, I know that some of them are, in fact, reading my rantings.

 

I'd love to find a happy medium where the women are celebrated as human beings and not as objects (and I am not saying that that any of you do it intentionally or maliciously) and clients can still enjoy themselves.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I'm sorry if I disrespected people, it wasn't my intention, but the last thing I think anybody should be doing on CERB is to be encouraging people to leave?

 

It is a new day and a bright morning and I would like to extend my apology to Daniel (btw, my misspelled was NOT deliberate. I looked at the post that I quoted in my post and it was misspelled and copy from that post and I am totally convinced that the quoted post did not misspell deliberately either) for the comment at the heat of the moment.

 

I could have worded it better though and that is to say that based on your post my impression was that you are not happy about what you see on cerb since recommendations are s**t as you say and there is lots of negativity here and ......, then I was curious why here because I can echo your feeling about another board, when I felt this way about terb, I quit that board. so it was an advice that I followed myself last year but was worded poorly at the heat of the moment and my apology for that Daniel. I agree it is nice to have positive contributing people on cerb who appreciate the classy respectful board cerb is and who enjoy their time being here and enjoy reading threads/posts.

 

Have a great day.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... And to WIT, I feel that referring to this thread and threads like it as "client-bashing" is sensationalism at best....

 

Just a friendly reminder that that's not what I said. I did not refer to threads. Threads do not do anything.

 

Specific derogatory words, however - their weight accumulates, and their blackness can't help but gradually seep into my spirit.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Just a friendly reminder that that's not what I said. I did not refer to threads. Threads do not do anything.

 

Specific derogatory words, however - their weight accumulates, and their blackness can't help but gradually seep into my spirit.

 

 

OMG! Hey, maybe that's the point Erin was trying to make... I guess you're just too sensitive for this world WIT!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I believe you are right Berlin!

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

no more drama.

 

let's have sex and laugh at this video or awwww

 

http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/whale-enjoys-mariachi-band/1gl2bpr1c

[castle 38816]

no more drama.

 

let's have sex and laugh at this video or awwww

 

http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/whale-enjoys-mariachi-band/1gl2bpr1c

 

Or this one?

 

http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/thriller-frankenstein-cat/1gl47hee3?from={from}

[redmachine 1916]

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

What I am about to say is not to critisize anyone in particular but we are selling a service and we are selling intimacy. These questions are bound to come up and at times you cannot sugarcoat it. Sometimes guys want to know and other than being really vulgar, how is someone supposed to carefully choose their words? What may be considered disrespectful to one person may not to be to another person. We have the choice to respond or not. For every guy that is rude, there are 10 other guys that will be respectful.

 

These so called acronyms are ones that have been established in the business over time and I'd rather have them ask me these type of codes words than using particularily vulgar words which is really the only other route to take. I agree that there are ways to ask certain things and at the end of the day guys are just asking a question. And even though we may not want to be reduced to menus and body parts, if they are looking for a particular type of service, they are entitled to ask.

 

We are selling intimate acts whether we like to think of it that way or not. There will be guys who will be disrespectful but for the most part they are in the minority. Perhaps I am a seasoned SP who knows the score and from day one if I couldn't take the heat, I would have gotten out of the kitchen. I used to be sensitive to certain things but now I let most of it roll of my back. All of it comes with the territory in this business, roll with the punches and take the good with the bad. I've got better things to worry about.