Respect

[omehgosh 736]

I'm not going to really comment on the initial topic of this thread, but I don't think this is really hijack either (Hands in the air! This is a hijack!.. I dunno, it just popped into my head...) It seems almost everything's already been said by much wiser people than myself.

 

I just wanted to say to Wellie - please don't let this thread or any of its comments intimidate you, and please don't hesitate to continue to post.

 

I originally came here to CERB because I had a bad experience with a provider I had found elsewhere on the web, and in trying to prevent that from happening again I found these really great recommendations and a really fine group of SPs... I joined and stayed on CERB because I found some really good reading posted by a bunch of "sexual deviants" just as "deviant" as myself, and a really great group of genuine, caring, intelligent and open-minded people.

 

I feel a lot more normal now knowing that there are a lot of other really SUPERB individuals just as "deviant" as myself! Hmmm... maybe we're not really so strange?

 

I love to read, I love to learn, and I love to hear the opinions of people much smarter than myself!

 

I also really enjoy sharing my opinion (as un-humble as it may be sometimes... I know, but dammit - I'm just always right! LOL (and I don't care if un-humble isn't word, I like it, and I'm using it)). It makes me feel good to participate in this community, and you are definitely part of the community!

 

Wellie, as far as I know, DATY and DIGITS are not derogatory acronyms - I'm pretty sure they were created to specifically relay a type of service offered by a provider without directly referring to a sexual act. I think these "codes", as Nicolette so correctly referred to them as, are used to avoid some potential legal-type stuff... much like we don't refer to money exchanged between hobbyists and providers as "fees", we call them "dontations".

 

I liked your thread Wellie. Please continue to post so that I can continue to learn. I'm glad you're here on CERB Wellie.

 

To all you other ladies and gents on here reading and enjoying but maybe feeling a little hesitant to post... Please don't hesitate! You're opinions are welcome, there are no stupid questions (well, actually, I can ask some pretty stupid questions, but I digress...) - we'd love to hear what you have to say or ask!

 

Ha ha ha! Check that out! Pretty long post for "not really going to comment" huh? LMAO - ya okay, whatever...

 

antlerman! Where are you buddy?!? We haven't had an antler rant for quite some time! I think we're long overdue!

 

Cheers all! :smile:

[phigment 3310]

well stated. classy as usual.

 

I know this is an adult board but there are better ways to say things...personally i rather the gentlemen just ask me in a pm or email.. Even then I want respect...as I'm sure every man does. In private we can have the dirty talk..:wink:

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Out of the blue but on topic I just wanted to say that Vulger words like hard cock and ass, soaking wet pussies,... or as I like to say"I'll have a pussy/ass combo, please"

Turns me on! Yumm!

[Guest Ja***]

If I may, I believe this thread has gone beyond it's original intent, however I would like to add a couple of things and I hope they address Erin's original thought.

 

I believe RESPECT is the key word here but there are two aspects that need to be considered; RESPECT for the individual and RESPECT in the public arena, such as the forums on these boards.

 

I totally understand and agree with Erin's post that we should respect the ladies on this board, especially when discussing a possible meeting or even when writing a reco. I believe that gentlemen should always ask the lady first before writing anything publicly about a lady on this board. I also believe when considering an encounter with a lady, you should take the time to get to know who they are. This board gives us a great opportunity to get to know people without even meeting them. Read their posts, their advertisements, etc. You will learn a bit about them, understand the language they use and you should tailor your messages accordingly. If you have specific questions, use the PM system, be cautious at first with your language. You will soon learn more about them and understand their likes and dislikes.

 

On the public side, I believe that everyone has the right to express their sexuality as they see fit. We need to RESPECT that too. We may not always have the same ideas or opinions as others who use this board but we must RESPECT that they have a right express themselves, within the Rules and guidance provided by MOD.

 

I'm not disagreeing with you Erin. Just throwing in my 2 cents worth (1.5 after tax ;-)

[Andee 220524]

For what it's worth, I have a Inuit client who refers to my pussy as a the "c" word. I have been around long enough to understand that in his culture, this is a perfectly acceptable word to use and I am not in the least bit offended by him using it during our encounters.

 

He never used the word in our initial discussions, only in the heat of the moment. I could not ask for a sweeter and nicer client.

 

It's like Nicolette said, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Daty versus Digits is not offensive to me. Can I suck your pussy or stick my fingers up your snatch, could be, I suppose. I could go on, but I the censor would certain block out what I would write.

 

But then again, I'm like Julia, and love dirty talk. So maybe my vulgar threshold is higher.

 

It's not the words being said, it's all in the delivery and the context.

 

That's the important thing to remember.

 

I know when someone is being playful or just downright rude.

 

My last word on this thread.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

For what it's worth, I have a Inuit client who refers to my pussy as a the "c" word. I have been around long enough to understand that in his culture, this is a perfectly acceptable word to use and I am not in the least bit offended by him using it during our encounters...

 

Perhaps the Inuit read Lady Chatterley's Lover (DH Lawrence, published 1928 ) in school, where the c-word is used in a lyrical, romantic, and touchingly intimate way:

 

`Why should I say maun when you said mun?' she protested. `You're not playing fair.'

 

`Arena Ah!' he said, leaning forward and softly stroking her face.

 

`Th'art good [c-word], though, aren't ter? Best bit o' [c-word] left on earth. When ter likes! When tha'rt willin'!'

 

`What is [c-word]?' she said.

 

`An' doesn't ter know? [c-word]! It's thee down theer; an' what I get when I'm i'side thee, and what tha gets when I'm i'side thee; it's a` as it is, all on't.'

 

`All on't,' she teased. `[c-word]! It's like [f-word] then.'

 

`Nay nay! [f-word]'s only what you do. animals [f-word]. But [c-word]'s a lot more than that. It's thee, dost see: an' tha'rt a lot besides an animal, aren't ter? - even ter [f-word]? [c-word]! Eh, that's the beauty o' thee, lass!'

 

She got up and kissed him between the eyes, that looked at her so dark and soft and unspeakably warm, so unbearably beautiful.

 

`Is it?' she said. `And do you care for me?'

 

He kissed her without answering.

 

`Tha mun goo, let me dust thee,' he said.

 

His hand passed over the curves of her body, firmly, without desire, but with soft, intimate knowledge.

 

As she ran home in the twilight the world seemed a dream; the trees in the park seemed bulging and surging at anchor on a tide, and the heave of the slope to the house was alive.

[Old Dog 179138]

Evelyn Beatrice Hall writing under the pen name of Stephen Tallentyre wrote these words:

 

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ("The Friends of Voltaire," 1906)

 

in an attempt to paraphrase Voltaire's:

 

"Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too." ("Essay on Tolerance", 1763)

 

Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote this:

 

"The pen is mightier than the sword."( for his play "Richelieu," 1839)

 

in an attempt to paraphrase Shakespeare's:

"... many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose-quills and dare scarce come thither." (Rosencrantz in "Hamlet" 1602)

 

Those words should resound with all of us. Ostensibly while we defend free speech we need to be mindful of the effect thereof; words can cut deeper than any blade wielded.

 

We will never be unanimous in our support of a particular argument nor will we share a collective sense of discretion, humour or self control. All we can ask is that if you don't respect the words, at least defend the author's right to express them.

 

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" is a lie. Keep that in mind.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

 

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ("The Friends of Voltaire," 1906)

 

This is the best sentence of the entire thread. Thanks Old Dog.

[PistolPete 61421]

I waited for a cool down time, took a break from here and thought this through and through.

 

My comment about 'f*cking cat' was about how pictures of cats were being posted in many threads, which had nothing to do with the original thread.

Phaedrus in fact posted a photo in this thread as well(page 9) his comment was... "Bait... taken. See what complaining gets you? :smile: "

 

He was very correct.

 

 

As for my comment quoted below, was it necessary for me to throw the f-bomb with cats?? I apologize for the f-bomb, people that really know me know that I don't use that language all the time.

 

I also found it interesting, that some that made comments in this thread about using bad language, or different words to describe woman's parts are members and had already joined a social group prior to this thread....makes you wonder. But to each their own.

 

Castle a little marketing for your group....

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=88

 

 

If it came across or apparently that I hate cats, that is not the case, never has been, and those that know me well, know that I'm a animal lover. In fact I bought someone some house warming gifts, for her new place that had to do with cats, so the f-ing cats was meant for hi-jacking threads only.

 

I had said to you once before meeting you face to face at your place(twice)Erin, with your cats, I did in fact tell you I had a cat for 21 years before she had to be put down, because of a tumor.

 

So to those animal lovers, I should not of said fucking cats, I should of said 'those bad puddy cats' are in wrong threads! Yes we have all shown our true colors.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

A few here have shown their true colors as a result and thinking I will be silent in the near future and stick to the cat threads for now. Btw, to the person that mentioned "fucking cats".....was there a need to stoop that low???? All you've done is offend the majority of animal lovers here. My intent wasn't to offend anyone. Off now in search of thicker skin.

[Sensual Erin 33928]

So did I Pete. I admit to being guilty of being a little too sensitive about your reference to cats. I know you love animals and that you were venting and appreciate the fact you stepped back and came back to clarify when the dust settled. It takes great character to do so.

 

Another thing we all have to keep in mind is that by shouting at others, <you got me on my quote> we worsen the situation. So, rather than letting the water boil, we can just take a deep breath for 3 to 5 minutes and force ourselves to keep mum. At the end of the 5th minute, our thinking clarity might have improved and hopefully we can avoid any verbal duel or fiery debate. When our mind and mood settle down, we may understand the reason on the other side. This helps me personally to a great extent and appreciate everyone's contribution on both sides.

 

Though the above points may not be exhaustive and situations may differ, I will make every effort to apply my core principles above and reduce my tense moments in every aspect of a good debate.

 

Thanks Pete and I do extend my apologies for letting it get to me. Managing tension diplomatically is increasing my emotional IQ and failed the test on that one.

 

Cheers!

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I think everyone needs a breather here and go get laid...:wink:

[Sensual Erin 33928]

You could be right Emma. : )

 

I think everyone needs a breather here and go get laid...:wink:

[castle 38816]

Thanks for the free advertising Pete! :). However I should point out that the kind of talk in that group shouldn't necessarily reflect how we refer to certain parts or acts in the general threads or serious recommendations or even in everyday life. When I talk dirty I reserve it for the bedroom (if I know ahead of time that she's into that kinda thing) or for that group. Talking that way in every thread runs too high a risk of offending people. Personally I wouldn't be but others might. There's a time and place for that kinda thing. So I really can understand how people who are members of that group may be offended by similar words or phrases in the recos or general discussions.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Sensual Erin 33928]

I agree with you Castle. There's a time and place for everything. I took a look at your group and nothing wrong with dirty talk in the bedroom. I keep mine enclosed. It can be sexy and a great turn on. However, the members that are a part of that group and commented on the language used in the thread are two different things. That's what the group is intended for. I think a few made reference to the level of emotional maturity that was displayed in this thread. Words are powerful in many ways and it wasn't all related to the swearing. I'm a strong believer in context and sometimes when that is lost, the point is lost.

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

I think a few made reference to the level of emotional maturity that was displayed in this thread. Words are powerful in many ways and it wasn't all related to the swearing. I'm a strong believer in context and sometimes when that is lost, the point is lost.

 

Erin

Can't give you rep points but I know you will take this in the proper context

[Sensual Erin 33928]

Thank you.

 

"Per fas et nefas"

 

Erin

Can't give you rep points but I know you will take this in the proper context

[goodtimes 423]

I think this to be an apt topic as it outlines something which is lacking between SPs and Hobbyists. I've done my best at times to treat the woman with the utmost respect, yet I get trashed at times, disrespected, and sworn at by them. I've even brought gifts at times but even then I've received less than the allotted time I was allowed by independents and agencies here in Ottawa. I always show up very freshly showered and clean. But a number of times I am treated like a king, and spoiled beyond belief. It's unfortunate there is no way of pointing out the poor treatment one receives at times. Someone needs to start a website for the purpose of including both the positive and the negative side of the review. I have written numerous reviews here on CERB, all positive reviews; but have had to keep the negative reviews silent as negative postings are not permitted on CERB. If there is a spot for ALL types of reviews, please PM me. Thank you.

[mod 135639]

Goodtimes, Your stirring he pot, complaining about our policies and showing all the ladies that your someone they should avoid. If your getting trashed at times, disrespected, and sworn at by the ladies chances are you need to look in a mirror and ask why this is happening to you! Your post screams "undesirable client" and is only adding to your problem as all the lades here are just adding your name to the list of guys to avoid.

 

As a member here you have agreed with the rules and policies of cerb, if you wish to stay you must follow and accept them. maybe this site is not for you? it most certainly is not for everyone and we do not try to make it appealing to everyone.

 

posts like this will upset a lot of the ladies and gentlemen here and will just cause more work for us (the mods) as members here will flag these types of posts. lets be respectful and positive please.... and not stir the pot.

 

I asked the council here last week if we should close this thread or remove it. The majority voted to allow it to stay (but with mixed votes/opinions).

[Kubrickfan 12836]

For what its worth, and not that I have a vote, but I wouldn't be in favor of deleting the thread as its a great display of the "self-correcting" nature of some of the more controversial message strings on this board, all compliments of the posters (I think ... dont know if stuff was deleted). Things got pretty acrimonius, and I suspect many feeling were hurt, but a number of apologies, or at least pleansantries, were issued and people have moved on. Sometimes a few different times ... smile.

 

In short, this topic ... "Respect," became somewhat of a study in respect, thanks to a lot of different members of this board. That's not always a straight road, and I'm sure there are a lot of loose ends, but I think deleting this thread would lose that story, and that would not be good.

 

Maybe its time to close it, as most everyone has had a chance to make their points, and its only apt to re-ignite negatively after this many days.

[goodtimes 423]

I think everyone needs a breather here and go get laid...:wink:

 

Emma, I must admit I like your advice the most. That sounds like a good idea if I don't say so myself! :)

[goodtimes 423]

Before this thread is closed off should that occur, I wish to apologize to all on this board, both the ladies and the men, if I have offended any at all with my previous comment.

 

Please bear with me as it was not my intention to offend anyone at all in the first place. I've met some fantastic people through this board and hope to continue to do so.

 

Cheers!

 

Kevin