pandacrazy 185 Report post Posted August 5, 2011 Alright I know this might not belong here but there are many sweeties of all styles and behaviors here so I figured it would be a great idea to ask my question in here in general.. seems more appropriate :) Sorry for the wall of text :S So I met a girl 2 weeks ago and we got to talk to each other ALOT but I got a lil bit curious and visited her profile on the dating site I found her and found that she might be interested into another guy too.. I asked her like a good gentleman who was that guy and she said she knows him for a week now but that she feels 10x time more comfi with me than him. So I am like ok then that's cool but figured soon enough that she is seeing him today and she kinda found some excuses not to tell me but thats understandable if she plays on the field and wants to date both to see which one she prefer the most but what scares me is that I give too much of myself to her and get hurt if she decides to go with that guy.. I asked her if it worthed for me to do the efforts to push our friendship further and she said.. "I think it worths it :P" so why would she bother meeting that guy in the first place if she gives me signs of affection.. she always tells me that I make her smile.. that she feels soo comfi with me and that i make her verryyy happy.. she leaves me with kisses on the webcam when we camtalk to each other and she sometimes even push it to the "why dont you come here then" jokes when we get into subjects where that phrase fits very well like when she sent me a pick of a very ugly chick ( no offense ) and i said ok i wont sleep tonight ill be scared that she comes in my bed so she said.." come sleep here then :P" is she faking her sentiments or she is just very lost and wanna see with who she would feel the best with and do I have the odds on my side with all ive said.. we got into more deep conversation recently and her date with that guy was already set up so she might would have said no to him if we got into those conversations earlier idk so I wanna know with all iv'e said if she might kiss him and would she fall in love with him because of that? And is she kisses him.. do you Think she wuill think about it and come back to me? I would appreciate any smart answers to this :) Thank you Max Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted August 5, 2011 You've only known her for two weeks. It is far too soon for you to be that fully invested in her and your romantic relationship. If she doesn't know who she likes best yet, let her find out. There is nothing yet for you to be concerned about because you should not yet be fallen in love with her. You don't even really know her, she hasn't made any promises to you. She doesn't know him either, but is still willing to be open enough to find out. You too need to be open enough to find out. Chances are in 3 weeks you'll have lost interest in her anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pandacrazy 185 Report post Posted August 5, 2011 yea i know but she is different.. ive never seen someone so special like this before.. I feel like she would be the one.. I usually don't get in love that fast but she really got me this time But it is fairely easy to not get in love so fast when you have other opportunities but none showed for me in 7 years so it is kinda hard to not grip myself when they show up.. if it doesn't work with her I am kinda stuck with another 5-6 years of being single because thats the interval at when a decenent looking one shows up -_- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 (edited) I think your getting too emotionally invested this early in your dating with this woman. At this stage in the dating game you should be playing the field, not expecting a committed monogomous relationship. It's too much pressure on her, it may come across as being desperate, and a recipe for failure. I know I'd be running if a woman I just met was expecting a serious monogomous relationship right away And along the same lines, if her seeing two guys causes issues for you, what do you think she would be saying if she knew you were on an escort recommendation board, and likely seeing escorts. She'd probably have second thoughts about getting involved with you. And maybe that's why she is keeping her options open too. She senses not 100 percent committment coming from you. She may not know who you are seeing (escorts) but that you are seeing another woman, or women, which means she wants to protect herself too. Remember, a relationship is about two people, not just you Not criticising, but from my vantage point, if I was dating a woman with the intent of getting involved in a relationship, I wouldn't be seeing escorts at the same time. But thats me RG Edited August 6, 2011 by r__m__g_uy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 if it doesn't work with her I am kinda stuck with another 5-6 years of being single because thats the interval at when a decenent looking one shows up -_- And how do you know that? I'm flying on a wing and a prayer here, since I know nothing about you, but I suspect that this is one of those situations where whatever you believe will happen, probably will. If you convince yourself that you're inadequate, or that there's something wrong with you, then other people may well pick up on that, and they'll move on. But if you convince yourself that you're a wonderful human being who'd be a very good catch for anybody... well, people may pick up on that too, and you may very well turn out to be right. Positive Mental Attitude! Also - "a decent looking one"?!?!? I'm sure you didn't mean to sound horribly shallow, but there's more to a woman than a nice rack or a cute bum or a pretty face. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 I can understand about the fact of getting attached to someone really quickly. But be careful to not confuse love with passion. There is a difference between both emotions. Passion is crazy, it's a bonfire raging inside and ready to explode at all moments. The person seem perfect, no flaws. The lust is palpable...which is what you seem to describe...passion is not love, it can go with it, but not always. Passion fade away after 3 months...so take your time as everyone said And...for the other person she is seeing...you are still the stages of having dates, and getting to know each other, unless it's official ( I guess Facebook official nowadays), she isn't your alone...She may want to have interests in someone else and test the waters... Also...there is maybe the option that she is polyamorous and may want to have multiple partners Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pandacrazy 185 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 I think your getting too emotionally invested this early in your dating with this woman. At this stage in the dating game you should be playing the field, not expecting a committed monogomous relationship. It's too much pressure on her, it may come across as being desperate, and a recipe for failure. I know I'd be running if a woman I just met was expecting a serious monogomous relationship right awayAnd along the same lines, if her seeing two guys causes issues for you, what do you think she would be saying if she knew you were on an escort recommendation board, and likely seeing escorts. She'd probably have second thoughts about getting involved with you. And maybe that's why she is keeping her options open too. She senses not 100 percent committment coming from you. She may not know who you are seeing (escorts) but that you are seeing another woman, or women, which means she wants to protect herself too. Remember, a relationship is about two people, not just you Not criticising, but from my vantage point, if I was dating a woman with the intent of getting involved in a relationship, I wouldn't be seeing escorts at the same time. But thats me RG who said i am seeing escorts :P ive never seen any and I wouldn't even dating or anything like that.. I am here to enjoy good talks and be nice with all those cute ladies around and looking for a possible escorts I would try. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 yea i know but she is different.. ive never seen someone so special like this before.. I feel like she would be the one.. I usually don't get in love that fast but she really got me this time If she is the one for you, are you the one for her ? Only she can decide that....relax. If she goes let her go and if she comes back then you will know you are the one for her. It was 7 years before you found her and now you are afraid it would be another 5-6 years before another turns up. Anything worth waiting for is worth the time. Take a few hours this weekend and ask yourself what you did this last 7 years, what works, what didn't, what can you improve, and just importantly what are you truly looking for. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyofHalifax 15339 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Similar to Phaedrus' comment, many women are attracted to confident men. If you are paranoid that she is going to leave you for the other man, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. And if you don't have a lot of confidence, fake it until you make it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J******aA***l Report post Posted August 6, 2011 You've only known her for two weeks. It is far too soon for you to be that fully invested in her and your romantic relationship. If she doesn't know who she likes best yet, let her find out. There is nothing yet for you to be concerned about because you should not yet be fallen in love with her. You don't even really know her, she hasn't made any promises to you. She doesn't know him either, but is still willing to be open enough to find out. You too need to be open enough to find out. Chances are in 3 weeks you'll have lost interest in her anyway. Fully agree with Fortunate One....It's been only 2 weeks sweetheart....let her figure out who she wants....forcing someone is not the way to make things happen nor encourage intimacy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jg24 3708 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 Sounds like she is acting out the Bachorlette show but as everyone has said far to early to be so serious Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted August 6, 2011 who said i am seeing escorts :P ive never seen any and I wouldn't even dating or anything like that.. I am here to enjoy good talks and be nice with all those cute ladies around and looking for a possible escorts I would try. First I said likely seeing escorts. Not a stretch to assume you could be seeing escorts. You are active on an escort recommendation board. And one of your past threads was about escorts in Manawaki (spelling) And this post (quoted) from you in response to my post, last line, "...looking for possible escorts I would try" You send different messages in your posts, any wonder the assumption you are likely seeing escorts And I wasn't criticizing you, you originally asked for advice, I gave my opinion. RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites