Best VALID Excuses

[mrrnice2 157005]

I expect that if all of the SP's pooled their stories and anecdotes that there is a bestseller in the works for the person that puts it together. Sometimes we do find the misfortunes of others funny, and after a period of time, funny even to those who suffered the misfortune.

 

 

An example of this is the thread started by Megan about Best Fail Moments at http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28938 and there are some hilarious stories in there.

 

Recently I had an experience where I thought that I would have to cancel a date with less than one days notice. IF it had happened, I doubt that it would have been accepted as valid, but honest, this is the truth.

 

You see, I have a severe allergy to wasp stings, but not to bee stings. A wasp sting causes severe pain, severe swelling, severe itching and burning, and does not go away in a matter of hours - it is days or weeks. Bees, no similarity.

 

Anyway, the day before this encounter, I was outside, wearing nothing but a pair of very loose fitting shorts and I got stung. I knew it was a bee or a wasp. That was easily determined because you KNOW when you get stung. But I was not just stung anywhere, oh no, the little bugger had flown up my shorts, and must not have liked what it saw, so it decided to let me have it right on my balls. And then, reactions kick in. I swatted it. Double pain.

 

Oh shit! They say that just before you die your life flashes before your eyes. Well this experience may be a close second. Pain, and then, "Was it a wasp or was it a bee"? And then, "If it was a wasp, will they ever believe me when I cancel"?

 

The shorts were dropped, and upon investigation, I found the bee. Thank the good Lord above!

 

OK, so this has made me wonder when I hear of guys cancelling at the last minute, what were the best stories that you may have heard as an SP, especially if you KNOW they were speaking truth? Or maybe it is the ones that you'd never believe, like, "I got stung on the balls by a wasp."

 

Anyone care to top the excuse that I did not have to use? Guys, you can file that one away for when you need it, but trust me, you don't want this to happen to you.

[Sensual Erin 33928]

Oh, that is a good one. I wouldn't believe it unless you showed me. Thanks for sharing. lol. I've only had the typical excuses like suddenly being sick in bed and then never hearing back to rebook. There must be a strain of virus that's permanent out there. Watch out folks!

 

Another one I had was worse than a no show. He was someone I saw a few times and at the end of the session he only had $40 on him. He promised he was running to the bank machine across the road and would be back to pay me, as well, he didn't leave the fourty as an act of good faith. After hours past and I messaged him, he told me his friend was going through something tragic and he was still with him. I never heard from him again. Now I always get my donations up front.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Sorry about your unfortunate situation and to make light of it MrNice (coulda been bad ) but that is frickin hilarious ! I can't top that one.

 

The only thing I almost cancelled for on short notice was a back muscle injury doing something stupid. After discussing it with her she believed me and would understand if I cancelled but come see here anyways if I wanted so I went.....couldn't stand straight even...... amazing how great company and a little sexy time can fix what ails you. Went away walking straight and feeling great ! :) That doesn't happen at the doctors office ;)

 

For the record if an SP didn't believe you MrNice I am not sure who they would believe.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

Once while in New Brunswick the next day after a missed appointment I had this excuse. He had to travel through rural NB to see me and hit a moose, as a result of his injuries he had to stay in the hospital overnight.

 

I did extensive searching for a car/moose accident and did not see anything, but perhaps?

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I, too, have had more than my fair share of mysterious sudden illnesses causing clients to cancel. Thankfully they're nice enough to cancel, rather than just not showing up.

 

And I've also had my fair share of random - sometimes downright stupid - things come up that force me to cancel on them. Recently, for example, the building manager decided it's a great time to rigorously test the fire alarm systems in the building, and in each unit.

 

Probably the best someone's told me that I know for a certainty to be true was someone I knew back out in BC who worked in the film industry. For privacy reasons everyone shall remain nameless, but suffice to say a big name actress had all her panties stolen out of her trailer, so my client had to go help with damage control. I know it's true not because I have any insider information, but simply because this was a client with whom I shared a great deal of trust, and I know he'd have the balls to be honest about whatever caused him to cancel.

[stevecurious 42059]

Once while in New Brunswick the next day after a missed appointment I had this excuse. He had to travel through rural NB to see me and hit a moose, as a result of his injuries he had to stay in the hospital overnight.

 

I did extensive searching for a car/moose accident and did not see anything, but perhaps?

 

Funny, because usually when someone has the misfortune to hit a moose they have to spend more than one night in hospital, that is if they aren't killed.

[Andee 220524]

Once while in New Brunswick the next day after a missed appointment I had this excuse. He had to travel through rural NB to see me and hit a moose, as a result of his injuries he had to stay in the hospital overnight.

 

I did extensive searching for a car/moose accident and did not see anything, but perhaps?

 

A deer, maybe. A moose. Doubtful he would have been calling anyone.

 

I've heard of a lot of bad excuses. The best excuse I ever heard was he cut his balls shaving (which may be plausible).

[LeeRichards 177238]

Well Cath. I have to reply to this. :) and I am LMAO. I hit a moose on the day of a visit with an SP as i work remotely and around moose every day. I was able to keep the truck mobile to make it to my date. I can see however if I had to cancel how this would have sounded and it was sure crossing my mind. Telling an SP from the big city that I hit a moose on my way to see her. Forgot about that one.

 

Once while in New Brunswick the next day after a missed appointment I had this excuse. He had to travel through rural NB to see me and hit a moose, as a result of his injuries he had to stay in the hospital overnight.

 

I did extensive searching for a car/moose accident and did not see anything, but perhaps?

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

 

You see, I have a severe allergy to wasp stings, but not to bee stings. A wasp sting causes severe pain, severe swelling, severe itching and burning, and does not go away in a matter of hours - it is days or weeks.

I too had to cancel an appt due to a wasp sting recently! God awful pain and swelling!!! My sympathies!

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think for me it's not the excuse that's given, anything can be believable as anything can happen. I will accept any excuse, once, as long as they reschedule.

 

If they aren't rescheduling with me within the month, I tend to believe that their excuses were bullcrap. All in all though, I've had good experiences with cancellations and rebooking with my clients.

[ottawaadventurer 5114]

I once had to cancel at the last minute due to poison ivy. It was terrible. And another time because I did cut my balls shaving and considered it a health risk. Both times I was able to rebook (separate women) and I gave an extra special tip in good faith (50% of the date cost). That seemed to have been appreciate and sufficient to prove my honesty...

[silverado17 12689]

Once while in New Brunswick the next day after a missed appointment I had this excuse. He had to travel through rural NB to see me and hit a moose, as a result of his injuries he had to stay in the hospital overnight.

 

I did extensive searching for a car/moose accident and did not see anything, but perhaps?

i have drove lots of roads and have never seen a moose on the highway unless i was in algonquin park or nothern ontario where moose are plentifull don't know how plentifull they are there

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

i have drove lots of roads and have never seen a moose on the highway unless i was in algonquin park or nothern ontario where moose are plentifull don't know how plentifull they are there

 

Moose are a major hazard in New Brunswick. Drive the Trans-Canada Highway - all that heavy duty fencing along the road is anti-moose fencing. A few years ago it was a major provincial political issue - as to which party was prepared to promise to build the most kilometres of moose fencing, and as to which roads and highways were the most dangerous, and needed fencing the most.

[NotchJohnson 214123]

I have been to accident where people hit a moose or a deer and it's not a pretty scene. As a firefighter I had to use the jaws of life on a few cars and trucks to remove the person(s) inside the vehicle. If you see a sign like this this is because there are risk of them crossing and more often then you think they(the moose or deer) get away without any pain.

Not to go off topic too much another volunteer firefighter always kept is buck knife on him and would cut the moose throat as soon as we would arrive at the scene and would keep the meat. Sorry for this image I might have put in your mind.

 

To get back to the topic I almost canceled once due to very bad poison ivy which I had to get a cortisone shot 1 week ahead which still left some scars on my body. A few years before I had some on my balls after going in the bush for a quick pee without realizing it was there, very painful and don't wish this to anyone.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

According to New Brunswick Dept. of Transportation, "This year, roughly 300 New Brunswickers will collide with a moose." So each and every accident is not likely going to make the news.

 

http://www.gnb.ca/0113/moose/think-moose-e.asp

 

 

Not as bad as in Newfoundland, though - where in 2010 the number was 800 collisions, with 2 (human) fatalities:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2011/07/06/moose-collisions-newfoundland-prevention_n_891343.html

[mrrnice2 157005]

I guess I want to add two things.

 

I shall jump on the moose bandwagon. Since January, I have had moose and deer sightings on virtually every trip through NB and NS, and was probably less than 2 seconds away from a moose collision. Very scary incident.

 

As well, just as an aside, what would have hurt perhaps the worst from my original story is that the time donation would have ben paid regardless.....a last minute cancellation for whatever reason is not an excuse to leave an SP with a financial deficit for the time scheduled.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I have heard many excuses given to me and as long as the person(s) don't pull a "No Show" I will reschedule with them. If they don't try to reschedule or reschedule, well then I just don't bother wasting my time.

 

This excuse tops the cake for me it was about 2yrs ago. The guy said they have arrived and texted for my room number. I gave it and 5 minutes go by and nothing.... So I texted to ask are you still here and coming up?

 

The response I got was "I'm having Baby MaMa Drama and had to leave" YEAH RIGHT. Never heard from him again.....

 

Changed my room so quick, faster than the speed of light.

 

Anyone that I have had to cancel with that rescheduled, I made special arrangements with and fully made up for my canceling. How?? That's my little secret but no free encounters ever.

[roamingguy 300292]

I've cancelled, but well in advance. That was because family announced they were flying in for a visit same weekend I was going to see the lady. But I've rescheduled, and what was going to be just a two hour encounter I've upped to a three hour encounter, sort of to make it up to her

 

And I was extremely late once. But it took five hours from Oshawa to Toronto because the 401 was shut down and east-west traffic on side roads backed up

 

RG

[Reddog01 30280]

I never had to cancel, but I have been late due to traffic. Once I had to wait for a moose to get served before me....

 

[Boomer 33202]

This is one on the other side of the fence.

 

I had been wanting to see a particular lady who worked on Vancouver Island, so had gone to Victoria a few times over several years but had no luck. She had a great service, had you over and cooked cooked for you and then provided a nice interlude afterwards. She would come down to the city and use a friends apartment for her rendezvous.

 

Anyway this time had a date booked. So as agreed I called her on the morning of and this is what I heard. Sorry Henry but I have bad news, I was trying a new product yesterday, (I think it was a hair removal preparation) and I woke up with a rash in a rather intimate area so I won't be able to make our date this time.

 

I never got another opportunity to get back there. It's a bitch when trying to ladies far from home when there are only occasional windows of opportunity.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I am located very near a Home Depot so I am pretty sure this is a good excuse to get out of the house. Yesterday, I had an appt with a semi-regular who always uses that as his escape. Well, minutes before our time together, I get a whispered call "can't come over will call later". I found it odd but I know him well enough to wait for his call. About an hour later, he calls and explains that, after 15yrs of marriage, his wife picked that day to be the first time she goes there with him! He then told me that he made the experience so tedious that he is sure she won't ever want to go again LOL

[shymale 10234]

i was just starting hobbying, it was my second time booking with an sp from cerb. called in the morning to book a 10 pm rendez-vous with this visiting well reviewed sp. everything was set up but around 4 in the afternoon my dad got in a car accident and had to go to the hospital for treatment. i want to the hospital to be with my father, i was still there at 7 so decided to call to canceled cause i didn't know when my dad would be released. i left a massage on her voicemail telling her i had to cancel and the reason why.

[Guest ch****]

it wasn't Charlie Sheen by any chance was it?

 

Additional Comments:

Sorry, I should have quoted Cat's experience first ..

[barriei88 275]

I cancelled once and to be honest I did lie to the provider... After googling her email, I came across a thread of hers on yahoo where she talked about having four different baby daddies, and how it was easier for her to be a stay at home mom and have men support her since working was hard for her because of her.... medical condition know as.... ASTHMA.... lol This girl was like 26, and looked gorgeous, but the way she was talking turned me off so much, and I was worried that she might be looking for a fifth baby daddy. lol I didn't have the heart to tell her that I read that shit, so I told her my ex had just called me and said she had an STD and I should get tested. Safe to say, the back and fourth came to an end pretty quick... lol