Something I admire about hobbiests

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

A male friend of mine (purely platonic) exited a relationship not too long ago, and has confided in me that he is finding it very difficult to go from regular sex to no sex. In fact, he's been complaining about this for some time now.

 

He knows what I do, and I suggested to him he contact an escort and even suggested Berlin (she is totally his type). He has the financial means to do so. He informed me that he "wasn't desperate enough to pay for it". Meanwhile he continues to complain about his situation while doing nothing to change it.

 

With all the negativity that I've noted on the board lately, I wanted to throw out something positive and that's that I admire hobbiests for knowing what they want and going for it!

[LouKing 3392]

I would dare say that if more guys "just got it done" there would likely be far less negativity not just on the board but everywhere.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Well Megan as a hobbyist I will say thanks for your admiration !!! and what a wonderful hobby it is ! I have pursued what I wanted the last year and a half and in the process met some wonderful ladies and had some oh so amazing experiences !

 

This is not going to a street corner in a seedy area of town like the perception always exists and meeting someone who doesn't want to be there, although that still is an option i guess. Through Cerb and many other boards I suppose and EC .... it is awesome ! Full service, non-full service, massage whatever you want. Safe and classy ! If u want hardcore then I am sure that is there too.

 

Now the paying for it. Well for me it is not desperation, it makes sense, it is exciting, it is fun, it is simple, people arent getting hurt, or pregnant lol, and I consider it safe sexually if you have a level head and be smart about this hobby. No affairs for some attached people which always seem to end bad.... or for single guys or shy guys going to the bar every night spending more money trying to score ! Along the way friendships are made...so to speak. I do believe that. Whether you have met face to face or through Cerb.

 

Smile :icon_smile: , be happy :grin: , be positive, embrace a wonderful, sexy SP, MP :makeout: . Life is good !!

 

Okay. Long winded and noooo I am not drinking ! haha

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I got involved in seeing ladies after quite a few years of dating, but never finding the "one"

The SP's (and one great MA) have been, for the most part, interesting ladies, beyond the sexual side of it. You can have an intelligent conversation with them. None of them fit the stereotypical profile one would have of an escort.

They truly are all ladies, each and every one of them.

I receive companionship from them, with no strings attached.

But I don't see this as a hobby (collecting stamps is a hobby), it does seem, at least to me, somewhat of a impersonal and cold term for something so intimate and interpersonal (btw no criticisms here, I know it's the accepted terminology) This is a lifestyle, one that has allowed me to meet many wonderful ladies in person, and many good people through CERB

Good thread Megan

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

The great majority of the clients I've seen have excellent boundaries; I admire this enormously. They know what they want, they're eager to enjoy themselves--and me!--as they pursue it and they keep a clear separation between the rest of their lives and the time they spend with me.

 

Time with a paid companion is less stressful, less demanding and less expensive than having an affair. For a man who just wants some company and some relief that won't threaten his marriage or other relationship, engaging a companion is an excellent option. He can be loving without having to be in love; he can feel admired and desired without having to wonder about where the relationship is going. It's not going anywhere.

 

He can feel as though he's got a very attentive girlfriend without all of the drama, joy and adjustment that having a real girlfriend entails.

 

And if I'm not available when he wants to see me, I might suggest someone else. No girlfriend or mistress is going to do that! :icon_biggrin:

 

The men who recognize and value these things are gems!

[Guest p**h*x]

Now the paying for it. Well for me it is not desperation, it makes sense, it is exciting, it is fun, it is simple, people arent getting hurt, or pregnant lol, and I consider it safe sexually if you have a level head and be smart about this hobby. No affairs for some attached people which always seem to end bad.... or for single guys or shy guys going to the bar every night spending more money trying to score !

 

This is pretty much how I feel. It is super exciting and fun. But is also a great option as I had been in a pretty crappy relationship where all the intimacy was long gone and I REALLY was missing sex! I had considered visiting an SP while still in the relationship but didn't end up doing it. I just couldn't bring myself to do it while I was still "committed". But you can sure as hell bet I rushed out the door once it was over! lol. Mind you, that turned out to be not a very good experience but then I discovered this great place and well, it's been awesome!

 

In a more practical sense I'm not at all into the bar scene and the idea of spending a fortune at the bars for the slight chance of maybe scoring just sounds like absolute misery to me. And to Megan's point about knowing what we want and going out and getting it, very true. Although, being fairly new to this I'm still super shy about asking for specifics. haha

 

Oh, and this way I also get to spend time with some of the most beautiful women out there!

[Alexandra-Sky 12606]

I totally agree Megan.

 

I had a conversation with a client mine yesterday who's been a regular for quite sometime.

 

I could honestly say that I would defend my clients till the end: these people are some of the most respectful, lovely, caring and fun people i've ever met. Before I started working, I had some really shitty sex experiences, but this job has really changed that.

 

All of my clients could trust that if ever need be, I will have their back i.e. ensuring that our relationships stay secret from those whom they need to be hidden from etc.

 

Love to all of you!

 

xo

 

Sky

[Old Dog 179138]

He informed me that he "wasn't desperate enough to pay for it". Meanwhile he continues to complain about his situation while doing nothing to change it.

 

With all the negativity that I've noted on the board lately' date=' I wanted to throw out something positive and that's that I admire hobbiests for knowing what they want and going for it![/quote']

 

The beautiful thing about his statement is that probably every single hobbyist at one point or another delayed his journey into this delightful world with that exact same thought or something very similar.

 

We want to remain pure to our hunter spirit, finding an ideal partner, winning her over with our wit, charms and devilish good looks. We want to woo her, to make her desire us. For lack of a better analogy, it's part of the thrill of the hunt and it is, I am sure, common with both men and women. The seduction is of paramount importance. That's what your friend is thinking. That is what we all thought.

 

Fast forward a few months. The musculature in your right arm far exceeds that of your left. You are finding that a box of Kleenex evaporates in less than a 6 hours. You wink at the 84 year old cleaning lady in your building. You go to La Senza just to remind you of what a bra and panties look like in 3 dimensions... you actually cop a feel on the mannequin (mmmm firm.) You have renamed your right hand "Janet." Face it, you NEED to have sex and this time when someone is in the same room as you.

 

Ahhhh the interwebs thing. You know that there are real live women that will (for a reasonable price) be willing to spend time with you. You find the site.... oooooooh.... she's pretty (what do you think Janet?) .... hmmmm... what are all those letters??? Hmmmm... definitions. She will do that??? (Janet, you are really a one trick pony)... oh lord, give me the courage to make the call. (It's ringing Janet....) You hang up. Poop. Chicken!!!!! You can do this, YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.

 

You gather your courage. This time you will actually speak to her. It's ringing (NO I WILL NOT HANG UP, JANET)... she answers - a real live woman!!!!! Damn. Gotta sound suave. "Hey." (silence).... (Janet is laughing, as only hands can do... mockingly.) You garner more courage. You actually string together a sentence... to a woman. You are conversing. You are actually holding a real grown up conversation with a real live woman. You make an appointment. You hang up. You tell Janet that you are going to have sex with a real live woman. Janet shrugs (surprisingly complicated for a hand).

 

Appointment. She comes to your place. You have showered. All the naughty and nasty bits are as clean as a whistle. You have shaved. You smell good. The envelope is in plain sight. You think that maybe you should bought her a present. Like a car. Maybe a yacht. I mean, hell, she is hot and she is going to have sex with you. Naked. You are going to be in the same room as a naked girl. Her ad didn't say anything about buying a car or a yacht. Hey. Here's an idea. You felt compelled to buy something in La Senza all those times you felt up the mannequin. A gift certificate. You have dozens.

 

She seduces you. SHE. SEDUCES. YOU. This is amazing. Beautiful hot woman naked in your place and she is actually making an effort to be sexy. She is making moves to get you naked and in bed. (Note to self, "Janet gets only part time hours FROM NOW ON.) You have the best sex that you have ever had in like, ummmm... EVER. She leaves. You smile. LOTS. Janet is pouting.

 

And that's how it happens. In retrospect, you wonder why it took you so long.

 

The End.

[shymale 10234]

thank you megan. i hesitated a long while before starting hobbying, but since i have i never felt better about myself. i met lots of great ladies here on cerb who help me get out of my shell.i will forever be gratefull to all the lovely ladies of cerb.

[Guest f***2f***]

The hesitation is about stigma. Let's see if I get it right...."Only losers pay for sex"

I used to think that way too and then I realized that a paid companion made me a winner...seriously. What is so hard to understand about having a great experience with a beautiful woman?

[datyaddict 2174]

I agree about the stigma, but not so much the "only losers pay for sex" but more the "prostitution is just exploitation and objectification" stigma.

 

Reading the thoughts of the SPs here has been very encouraging. I'm really glad to see so many of you have found so much in each other.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I admire the guts it takes to start talking/emailing one of us. To be open and vulnerable is part of the process, and every man takes a risk when he contacts any of us. We are all beautiful women; the industry demands it. But every man who calls or writes to us knows that beauty is only one aspect of the thing. Really, he wants to like her. Even more, he wants her to like him, but he may feel a lot more like a putz than anyone would know.

 

What if he wants something the companion doesn't do? He doesn't want to offend her, but, frankly, maybe he's had a rough time getting that one special thing, maybe he's never been able to have it. Once he summons his nerve to ask about it, it's hard to hear that she doesn't do it. Maybe she knows someone who does. Maybe she'll consider it after she's met him a time or two. Whatever the case may be, the ball (so to speak) is in her court and he's exposed as a guy who likes, or hopes he will like, that.

 

It's a tough place to be, no question about it.

 

However, on the up-side of things, men who are honest in their vulnerability are wonderfully attractive! Really, they are!

[BarrhavenWoody 10776]

He informed me that he "wasn't desperate enough to pay for it". Meanwhile he continues to complain about his situation while doing nothing to change it.

 

 

Megan, I think he is trying to do something about his situation, but you aren't picking up on the hint. He wants YOU but doesn't want to come right out and say it directly.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I agree with you, a lot has to do with stigma and the idea (stupid one btw) of as you said paying for sex making one a loser.

 

The hesitation is about stigma. Let's see if I get it right...."Only losers pay for sex"

I used to think that way too and then I realized that a paid companion made me a winner...seriously. What is so hard to understand about having a great experience with a beautiful woman?

 

This in my opinion depends on the guy as we all have different points of view, for some it may be the loser thing, for others having the wrong idea of how prostitution really is, concerns about std's , stereotypes etc. which all are a result of misinformation.

I agree about the stigma, but not so much the "only losers pay for sex" but more the "prostitution is just exploitation and objectification" stigma.

 

I think it all resumes to we most times have a wrong idea of the unknown and of course not until we get to experience 'it' that we realize that our concept of that was far from the real thing, some times for better, sometimes for worse but yeah is a very admirable thing from you guys to as megan said go for what you want and fight your 'fears' (probably wrong choice of word but hey haven't slept much) and concerns, in other words to stop hesitating and try what at the start is something different/unknown to you :)

[datyaddict 2174]

This in my opinion depends on the guy as we all have different points of view, for some it may be the loser thing, for others having the wrong idea of how prostitution really is, concerns about std's , stereotypes etc. which all are a result of misinformation.

 

What always kept me away from it all was the fear that at some level I was hurting/using the SP. It's only by reading posts here that I'm coming to realize that it's not always so sordid.

 

I agree with you 100% on 'misinformation'. It's the root of ignorance, which is at the root of just about every other problem out there ;)

 

I'm not at the point where I post 'just spent the afternoon with an SP' on facebook or anything, but I'm at least feeling like less of a creep :)

[roamingguy 300292]

I admire the guts it takes to start talking/emailing one of us. To be open and vulnerable is part of the process, and every man takes a risk when he contacts any of us. We are all beautiful women; the industry demands it. But every man who calls or writes to us knows that beauty is only one aspect of the thing. Really, he wants to like her. Even more, he wants her to like him, but he may feel a lot more like a putz than anyone would know.

 

What if he wants something the companion doesn't do? He doesn't want to offend her, but, frankly, maybe he's had a rough time getting that one special thing, maybe he's never been able to have it. Once he summons his nerve to ask about it, it's hard to hear that she doesn't do it. Maybe she knows someone who does. Maybe she'll consider it after she's met him a time or two. Whatever the case may be, the ball (so to speak) is in her court and he's exposed as a guy who likes, or hopes he will like, that.

 

It's a tough place to be, no question about it.

 

However, on the up-side of things, men who are honest in their vulnerability are wonderfully attractive! Really, they are!

 

Samantha

Thank you for that post. I can relate to your comments. I know the first couple encounters I had I was nervous as hell right from the very first email to the knock on the door.

Now I'll be honest, the first email/pm/text I'm not nervous about, but the day of the encounter, my heart is thumping and stomach in knots, in anticipation of meeting that lady. And for me, it's more about will she like me and I like her than anything else...the encounter itself, I like it to unfold naturally, no scripts for this guy

Just some quick comments

Thanks again Samantha

RG

[loopie 15358]

I actually never thought about the whole world of escorts or sex trade workers until I read this book called 'Paying For It: A Comic-Strip Memoir About Being a John' by Chester Brown. I read it because I like the cartoonist's other books, but it turned me on to this whole world. I really recommend this book.

 

He goes through what a lot of you guys have mentioned in your posts. He details his final relationship with a real girlfriend and then his thought process as he becomes comfortable with idea of paying a professional and then the nervousness of meeting that first girl. He is open about his lifestyle with his friends, many of whom judge him for it. He has many debates with the people in his life and the book becomes a pretty good analysis of our concepts of romantic love and sex.

 

Anyway, it was this book that got me to try this, and I am very glad I did. I guess I was in the same boat as many of you. I'd love to find true love. It would be great to find someone with whom I have a great rapport and fall in love, build a life together etc. But I kinda doubt that is going to happen for me. I'm a shy person, and with age it doesn't really get easier to meet new people. I also have standards. I have lots of friends who get into or stay in bad relationships simply to be with someone and it just seems so dishonest and miserable. I'm not like that. So being with escorts is an excellent way for me to experience intimacy and affection in a way that I find more honest.