Movies that SHOULD NEVER be remade.

[Old Dog 179138]

I got to thinking when the other thread was started today about remakes on movies... just some of the movies that for whatever reason should never be remade. Some are classics - like Casablanca or Gone With the Wind, others so horrible that they should never have been made in the first place like Gigli or Plan Nine from Outer Space.

 

So what are your "Untouchable Classics" .... or your "WTF were they thinking when they made that?" Movies?

 

Untouchables Classics:

 

1. Casablanca: Bogart. Bergmann. Pure Cinematic magic.

 

2.The Shawshank Redemption: One of those movies that defies definition. Simply Brilliant.

 

3. The Usual Suspects: Kevin Spacey at his finest. A great cast, twists and turns all over... and who the hell is Keyser Soze????

 

4. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels: A sleeper, but it is one of those movies that just appeals on so many levels.

 

5. The Great Escape: Between this movie, and the one at number 6, two of the greatest ensemble casts of all time. War movies rock.

 

6. The Longest Day: Another fantastic cast. Henry Fonda, Sean Connery, John Wayne, Eddie Albert, Red Buttons, Peter Lawford, Richard Burton. It was the movie that made "Saving Private Ryan" possible.

 

7. Cinema Paradiso: It doesn't matter whether you like foreign movies or not. This one is just so compelling - it's funny, it's sad, it's romantic, and it absolutely tugs at your heart.

 

8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail: It's Python at their very finest. Nothing else needs to be said.

 

9. Pulp Fiction: Tarentino's master work. So much to tell in such a small period, the stories weave together perfectly.

 

10. The Wizard of Oz: No person should ever grow up without seeing this.

 

WTF???

 

1.Gigli: Ben Affleck. J Lo. ummmmmm. HORRIBLE.

 

2. Glitter: Mariah Carey can sing. She did well in "Push". Glitter was... well Glitter was.... ummmmm.... okay... it sucked, and not in a good way.

 

3. Leonard, Part 6. - Bill Cosby. Just be happy that parts one through five were NEVER EVER made.

 

4. Santa with Muscles: As an actor, Hulk Hogan is a great wrestler.

 

5. Glen or Glenda: Before Ed Wood made the awful classic "Plan Nine from Outer Space" he created "Glen or Glenda" a thinly veiled autobiographical movie about his love of wearing women's clothes. Oh Ed. Even today with our modern attitudes, this would still be a god awful movie.

[stevecurious 42059]

Untouchables:

 

To Kill a Mockingbird

 

Raging Bull

 

Goodfellas

 

The Godfather I & II

 

The Magnificent Seven

 

The Ten Commandments (I know, I know but it's still a great movie)

 

Saving Private Ryan

 

WTF:

 

Law Abiding Citizen

 

Batman Returns, Forever and with Robin - all pieces of you know.

 

Howard the Duck

 

Showgirls

 

G.I. Jane

[Guest tr*****e]

What, no one is mentioning Star Wars for an untouchable status? I'll correct that. Star Wars is untouchable, unless George Lucas himself is the primary force behind it.

 

Now, for WTF movies... I say Million Dollar Hotel. Look it up. It's the most pointless, awkward, moronic movie, ever.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

I agree with:

 

Casablanca; Shawshank, Usual Suspects; Pulp Fiction; Holy Grail, Goodfellas, Star Wars IV, V and VI (non-digitally enhanced).

 

Many others listed above I have not seen yet, but will look into now - thx guys!

 

I have to say the Muppets Wizard of Oz is pretty good too imo :p ...and Star Wars I, II, and III could stand to be made retro ala IV, V and VI style ;)

 

Other Untouchables: Apocalypse Now; Airplane; Pink Floyd's The Wall; Big Trouble in Little China (haha); So I Married an Axe Murderer; Trainspotting, LOTR. Dare I say Top Gun?

 

WTF: Exorcist III; GI Joe; Battlefield Earth.

[Old Dog 179138]

What, no one is mentioning Star Wars for an untouchable status? I'll correct that. Star Wars is untouchable, unless George Lucas himself is the primary force behind it.

 

Now, for WTF movies... I say Million Dollar Hotel. Look it up. It's the most pointless, awkward, moronic movie, ever.

 

Okay... ummmm.... how about we just edit out all the stupid stuff that George Lucas thought was fun. Like the Ewoks. Jar Jar Binks. The alien band in the bar. The guard pig guys. Any actor that played Anikin Skywalker. Samuel L Jackson as a Jedi. The lizard kid that grew up to be the lizard man that Han killed. Tarzan Wookies. Bad robot dialogue. Jabba's little laughing monkey dog sidekick. and this guy...

 

 

and this guy...

 

Don't get me wrong... I loved the series... there were just parts that made me throw up in my mouth a bit.

 

Additional Comments:

I agree with:

 

Casablanca; Shawshank, Usual Suspects; Pulp Fiction; Holy Grail, Goodfellas, Star Wars IV, V and VI (non-digitally enhanced).

 

Many others listed above I have not seen yet, but will look into now - thx guys!

 

I have to say the Muppets Wizard of Oz is pretty good too imo :p ...and Star Wars I, II, and III could stand to be made retro ala IV, V and VI style ;)

 

Other Untouchables: Apocalypse Now; Airplane; Pink Floyd's The Wall; Big Trouble in Little China (haha); So I Married an Axe Murderer; Trainspotting, LOTR. Dare I say Top Gun?

 

WTF: Exorcist III; GI Joe; Battlefield Earth.

 

Oooooh... LOTR... good choice!!!!

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Great Untouchables! I'd add Dr. Zhivago and The Maltese Falcon.

[stevecurious 42059]

What, no one is mentioning Star Wars for an untouchable status? I'll correct that. Star Wars is untouchable, unless George Lucas himself is the primary force behind it.

 

Don't forget the plot holes and continuity errors! Darth Vader being the head honcho in episode IV then the random introduction of The Emperor in episode V. Luke kissing Leia in Empire and then finding out they are brother/sister. How many Death Stars do they have?

[Andee 220524]

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

 

The Blues Brothers

 

Animal House

 

Up in Smoke

 

Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

Who's Coming to Dinner

 

Gone With the Wind

 

Casablanca

 

Bus Stop

 

It's a Wonderful Life

 

The Sound of Music

 

Back to the Future

 

Sweet Charity

[Royalfun 55449]

Untouchables: The Schindler's List; La Vita e Bella; The Bridge on the River Kwai; La Dolce Vita (Fellini); The Great Dictator (Charlie Chaplin)

 

WTF: "10" with Bo Derek;

[Rachelle Reigns 4828]

I saw on television the other day that there r plans to remake

 

 

Dirty Dancing

 

 

I'm sure the other ladies will agree that this is an untouchable!

Posted via Mobile Device

[roamingguy 300292]

Luke kissing Leia in Empire and then finding out they are brother/sister.

 

Well Capt. Kirk was doing it with alien females, some green long before the forbidden Luke/Leia kiss

Not only that, Spock was the love child of a Vulcan father and human mother

Kinda hear Dueling Banjos playing as we "trek" into the "Deliverance" universe

Speaking of which, Deliverance, another movie not to be remade

Time for coffee

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I saw on television the other day that there r plans to remake

 

 

Dirty Dancing

 

 

I'm sure the other ladies will agree that this is an untouchable!

Posted via Mobile Device

 

They can certainly try but it won't be the same for those who have seen the original back in the 80's. For today's generation, they probably wouldn't even realize that it was a remake.

 

I know they did a remake of one of the songs off the Dirty Dancing soundtrack recently ( I think it was Fergie and the Time of My Life song) and my neice who is 13 didn't realize it was an 80's song.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Not a remake, but a sequel that may be of interest to some of you that there's talk about.

 

The Dark Crystal 2.

 

Untouchables: Labyrinth, Army of Darkness, The Godfather Trilogy.

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

DO NOT TOUCH:

 

Cool Hand Luke

 

The Seven Samurai

 

A Clockwork Orange

 

My Neighbour Totoro

[Kate von Katz 49953]

My Neighbour Totoro

 

 

NONE of Miyazaki's films should ever be remade! His stuff is great as it is!

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

5. Glen or Glenda: Before Ed Wood made the awful classic "Plan Nine from Outer Space" he created "Glen or Glenda" a thinly veiled autobiographical movie about his love of wearing women's clothes. Oh Ed. Even today with our modern attitudes, this would still be a god awful movie.

 

This movie was how Ed Wood came out to his father, classy ;)

 

Don't forget the plot holes and continuity errors! Darth Vader being the head honcho in episode IV then the random introduction of The Emperor in episode V. Luke kissing Leia in Empire and then finding out they are brother/sister. How many Death Stars do they have?

 

If you go by the expanded universe in the novels, they had 3.

 

The original in episode IV, the one in episode VI, and a prototype Death Star that was hidden in a secret installation that was surrounded by black holes called The Maw.

 

Holy crap i'm a nerd!

 

Oh and back on subject,

 

Untouchable:

 

Full Metal Jacket

[Old Dog 179138]

I have to agree with Angela... Ferris Bueller can NEVER be remade. Ferris Bueller IS Matthew Broderick, Matthew Broderick IS Ferris Bueller. I couldn't imagine anyone else in the role.

 

Any of the James Bonds with the young Sean Connery. As much as other actors have done admirable jobs in the role (with exception to Roger Moore) NOBODY beats Sean BONDery.

 

Braveheart - Mel Gibson may not be the most popular guy in Hollywood but you have to give him this one... It was a masterpiece.

 

Field of Dreams - Like Gibson, Costner may have fallen out of Hollywood favour, but this was his role of a lifetime and he shone through.

 

WTF?

 

Howard the Duck. No need to say anything else on that

 

The Love Guru. Mike Myers is a genius... most of the time. This is the exception.

[Andee 220524]

The Odd Couple

 

Dirty Dancing

 

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

 

Forrest Gump

 

Easy Rider

 

Legends of the Fall

 

The Silence of the Lambs

 

Taxi

 

Thelma and Louise

 

Dances with Wolves

 

Trading Places

 

E.T.

[toine 30556]

Chinatown

 

Dog Day Afternoon

 

Wings of Desire (it had an awful American remake)

 

Jules et Jim

 

The Bicycle Thief

 

The Magnificent Seven was a remake of Kurosawa's Seven Samurai, so sometimes remake do work...

[Old Dog 179138]

Chinatown

 

Dog Day Afternoon

 

Wings of Desire (it had an awful American remake)

 

Jules et Jim

 

The Bicycle Thief

 

The Magnificent Seven was a remake of Kurosawa's Seven Samurai, so sometimes remake do work...

 

Bicycle Thief was fantastic... but like all of the Italian films and many of the post war European films of the time, just so freaking depressing. In the same vein, La Terra Trema was amazing but you have to stay away from sharp things, large bottles of pharmaceuticals and full bottles of cleaning products after.

 

The Battle of Algiers is another in that category.... it tells of the struggles of the Algerians to throw off the colonial yoke of France in the 60's. An important film, it gives perspective on the other side of terrorism... as viewed through the eyes of freedom fighters.

[Guest tr*****e]

Don't forget the plot holes and continuity errors! Darth Vader being the head honcho in episode IV then the random introduction of The Emperor in episode V. Luke kissing Leia in Empire and then finding out they are brother/sister. How many Death Stars do they have?

 

Two Death Stars, one was built to replace the other. Episode VI is set about 8 years after Episode IV, but I'm not too sure on that one. Darth Vader had to be the main bad guy in Episode IV because there were already enough unknowns about the series in general(it did start with Episode IV). Also, his character needed to be seen as the primary focus of the story. Star Wars is the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker, not the story of Luke's adventures. Therefore, bringing the Emperor into the picture at the beginning would have unnecessarily lessened Anakin's importance to the story, as he would have no longer been the ultimate in the Jedi's loss(thereby the ultimate evil to be fought). Also, with regards to Luke and Leia kissing, it should be noted that at that point in time, they did not know that they were brother & sister. In the context of the scene, Leia kissed Luke to spite Han.

 

I hope that solves some of your problems with the series. To me, when I watch Star Wars, I'll always be a kid again. It's an epic tale of human tragedy, with effects felt all over the galaxy. If you were in Anakin's shoes, and the only one you loved were in danger, would you not throw everything else away just for the chance to save that one person? That's the whole point. Without some form of love, the whole universe is wrong, and it's all pointless anyways. That is the lesson that Star Wars teaches. George Lucas is only human(so obvious, no god-like being would ever treat his subjects like Lucas treats actors), he has flaws, many of them. Continuity failures are a part of movie making, so for every person like myself who just tries to forget the world of practicality, there are others who will point out the errors.

[Old Dog 179138]

Two Death Stars, one was built to replace the other. Episode VI is set about 8 years after Episode IV, but I'm not too sure on that one. Darth Vader had to be the main bad guy in Episode IV because there were already enough unknowns about the series in general(it did start with Episode IV). Also, his character needed to be seen as the primary focus of the story. Star Wars is the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker, not the story of Luke's adventures. Therefore, bringing the Emperor into the picture at the beginning would have unnecessarily lessened Anakin's importance to the story, as he would have no longer been the ultimate in the Jedi's loss(thereby the ultimate evil to be fought). Also, with regards to Luke and Leia kissing, it should be noted that at that point in time, they did not know that they were brother & sister. In the context of the scene, Leia kissed Luke to spite Han.

 

I hope that solves some of your problems with the series. To me, when I watch Star Wars, I'll always be a kid again. It's an epic tale of human tragedy, with effects felt all over the galaxy. If you were in Anakin's shoes, and the only one you loved were in danger, would you not throw everything else away just for the chance to save that one person? That's the whole point. Without some form of love, the whole universe is wrong, and it's all pointless anyways. That is the lesson that Star Wars teaches. George Lucas is only human(so obvious, no god-like being would ever treat his subjects like Lucas treats actors), he has flaws, many of them. Continuity failures are a part of movie making, so for every person like myself who just tries to forget the world of practicality, there are others who will point out the errors.

 

Yikes!!! Please don't think Steve and I were ganging up.... I love Star Wars, in fact, I was one of the few people that can actually say that I was at the Drive In with my buddies on the night that it was released... and I worked at a theatre when "Empire" opened. I have been a devoted fan since 1977.

 

Can or should they ever be remade??? Nope. Are there things I would change if I had originally directed? Hell yeah... but not in the main flow of the story, just the goofy side characters.

 

It's like Braveheart. I am a history major... and Braveheart was as historically fabricated, so much so it hurt. The execution scene where Edward I dies in his bed and William Wallace dies as a result of beheading could never have happened... they died two years apart. Should it have been remade to correct the inaccuracy? No way... it rocked!

[stevecurious 42059]

Two Death Stars, one was built to replace the other. Episode VI is set about 8 years after Episode IV, but I'm not too sure on that one. Darth Vader had to be the main bad guy in Episode IV because there were already enough unknowns about the series in general(it did start with Episode IV). Also, his character needed to be seen as the primary focus of the story. Star Wars is the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker, not the story of Luke's adventures. Therefore, bringing the Emperor into the picture at the beginning would have unnecessarily lessened Anakin's importance to the story, as he would have no longer been the ultimate in the Jedi's loss(thereby the ultimate evil to be fought). Also, with regards to Luke and Leia kissing, it should be noted that at that point in time, they did not know that they were brother & sister. In the context of the scene, Leia kissed Luke to spite Han.

 

I hope that solves some of your problems with the series. To me, when I watch Star Wars, I'll always be a kid again. It's an epic tale of human tragedy, with effects felt all over the galaxy. If you were in Anakin's shoes, and the only one you loved were in danger, would you not throw everything else away just for the chance to save that one person? That's the whole point. Without some form of love, the whole universe is wrong, and it's all pointless anyways. That is the lesson that Star Wars teaches. George Lucas is only human(so obvious, no god-like being would ever treat his subjects like Lucas treats actors), he has flaws, many of them. Continuity failures are a part of movie making, so for every person like myself who just tries to forget the world of practicality, there are others who will point out the errors.

 

Ahem...seems as though I have touched a nerve. Either way Star Wars is what it is a great good guy vs bad guy trilogy but there are issues with the writing. To me it is obvious that it wasn't written as one story arc but a movie with two sequels and then those god awful prequels. Did it change things, of course. Does it stand the test of time, yes. Is it on par with say The Lord of the Rings trilogy...no.

 

By the way my fave is The Empire Strikes Back...gotta love Landos cape.

[Guest tr*****e]

Ahem...seems as though I have touched a nerve. Either way Star Wars is what it is a great good guy vs bad guy trilogy but there are issues with the writing. To me it is obvious that it wasn't written as one story arc but a movie with two sequels and then those god awful prequels. Did it change things, of course. Does it stand the test of time, yes. Is it on par with say The Lord of the Rings trilogy...no.

 

By the way my fave is The Empire Strikes Back...gotta love Landos cape.

 

Yikes!!! Please don't think Steve and I were ganging up.... I love Star Wars, in fact, I was one of the few people that can actually say that I was at the Drive In with my buddies on the night that it was released... and I worked at a theatre when "Empire" opened. I have been a devoted fan since 1977.

 

Can or should they ever be remade??? Nope. Are there things I would change if I had originally directed? Hell yeah... but not in the main flow of the story, just the goofy side characters.

 

It's like Braveheart. I am a history major... and Braveheart was as historically fabricated, so much so it hurt. The execution scene where Edward I dies in his bed and William Wallace dies as a result of beheading could never have happened... they died two years apart. Should it have been remade to correct the inaccuracy? No way... it rocked!

 

All right, I was a bit harsh there... sorry, guys. Yes, this series has it's problems. Allow me to point out what even a hopeless fan gets mad at: remember the part in Episode I where Darth Maul is fighting Qui-gon and Obi-wan? Then he, an accomplished Sith Lord(what makes a Sith Lord, anyway? Darth Vader was a dark Jedi, supposedly somewhat weaker than an actual Sith - yet Lord Sidious makes an express point of calling him a Sith in Episode III - WTF IS THAT ALL ABOUT??? WHAT'S A SITH AND WHAT ISN'T???), has balance issues?? I love Ray Park, and his contribution to an arguably poorer chapter of the Star Wars saga is great... but WHY THE FUCK DID LUCAS LEAVE THAT SHITTY TAKE IN???? I'm kinda pissed about that. Anyways, I guess I just take Star Wars as a philosophical guide for life( the Jedi Code/Sith Creed combined to form a passionate love for... love.). They're just movies in the end though. And the musical score gets my attention faster than the Party Rock Anthem! I'll shut up now. You're all okay, I just like Star Wars too much, lol.

 

Additional Comments:

...gotta love Landos cape.

 

You should check out the part with Lando in this video:

 

http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/sw_gangsta_rap_chronicles/

 

Lando's part is at 1:55, approximately, but the whole video is great. I love to make fun of Star Wars.

[Old Dog 179138]

Which brings us to another movie that should NEVER be remade - Clerks II.

 

Kevin Smith wrote a gem. His boys Dante and Randal are big time Star Wars fans, their nemeses are Lord of the Rings fans. The arguments seen here are just a taste of the arguments held there.

 

Clerks II will embarrass, it will anger, it will make you laugh your ass off... it is a classic!!!