Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 The third anniversary happens in just 11 days!!!! Surely to goodness we need to do something to regain our market share. Ideas anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Maybe we need to go find Igotaboner (where'd he go anyway?) and get him doing table dances at Barbs or the Playmate for some lucky ladies! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Was that the thread that was started about guys offering services? (as a joke) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 I tried a little pole dancing at the Playmate a few months ago.... I was the object of derision and laughter. I am thinking we should do a groupon thing.... Additional Comments: Was that the thread that was started about guys offering services? (as a joke) A joke??? OMG. That's what they consider us now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 I tried a little pole dancing at the Playmate a few months ago.... I was the object of derision and laughter. I am thinking we should do a groupon thing.... Additional Comments: A joke??? OMG. That's what they consider us now. take some pole dancing class! tell me they make you work out!:P well...I didn'T find the thread, what are your services? how much?:P:thedeed: 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Maybe we need to go find Igotaboner (where'd he go anyway?) and get him doing table dances at Barbs or the Playmate for some lucky ladies! I think Boner went indy.... Additional Comments: take some pole dancing class! tell me they make you work out!:P well...I didn'T find the thread, what are your services? how much?:P:thedeed: Work out??? My god Malika... we are Fat Bastards! We are still working on a business plan for prices.... we may have to give out free samples. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 I tried a little pole dancing at the Playmate a few months ago.... I was the object of derision and laughter. I am thinking we should do a groupon thing.... Additional Comments: A joke??? OMG. That's what they consider us now. ha ha ha would of love to of seen that you pole dancing now that would be priceless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Kianna was laughing... I shouldn't have worn my ass chaps. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 ha ha ha ass chaps even more priceless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Does someone have any reviews on those guys?:P 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyofHalifax 15339 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Does someone have any reviews on those guys?:P Found this review on another site: I called up Fat Bastard BBM last night for an outcall to my house. One of the inglorious bastards showed up immediately. He proceeded to inspect my fridge, whereupon he procured a case of beer, which he consumed while waiting for a pizza that he ordered to arrive. Upon the pizza's arrival, he informed me that he did not have his wallet and insisted that I pay the driver. After consuming half the pizza, he unzipped his pants and passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. He is still there. He may no longer be breathing, but I am afraid to check. Nonetheless, I would repeat. 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Found this review on another site: I called up Fat Bastard BBM last night for an outcall to my house. One of the inglorious bastards showed up immediately. He proceeded to inspect my fridge, whereupon he procured a case of beer, which he consumed while waiting for a pizza that he ordered to arrive. Upon the pizza's arrival, he informed me that he did not have his wallet and insisted that I pay the driver. After consuming half the pizza, he unzipped his pants and passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. He is still there. He may no longer be breathing, but I am afraid to check. Nonetheless, I would repeat. Ahhhhh.... she ordered the HE... Husband Experience.... one of our specialties..... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted September 2, 2011 We might need to refresh our advertising...some of the guys have changed names too ;-) LADIES!! LADIES!! LADIES!! Tired of your hubbie treating you like part of the furniture?? Tired of him cuming first and leaving you hanging?? Tired of being a real woman with real needs in the boudoir??? Well we understand!!!!! You have needs and we at FAT BASTARDS BBMs understand that and cater to your every whim!!! Our bevy of fine refined gents will pamper and cater to your every need. We understand when you "just want to be held" or "fed chocolate" or have your every desire catered to....your wish is our desire. Pick from a range of sophisticated, well educated gents whose witty repartee will amaze and astound! Our big beautiful men (BBM) are talented, refined and mature gents who have honed their lovemaking skills to a fine edge of satisfaction...you will not be disappointed!!! Capitalman: 6 feet tall, 190 pounds Hairy chest, shaved cock and balls. A few scary tattoos. 39 years old. Short brown/grey hair. George Clooney good looks. For the discerning lady I offer complete BFE, DFK, DATY, DATO, greek. Always clean and discreet and expect the same. $20/hour $30/2 hours Mr Munch: 6"3 260lbs, hairy, chubby ( in the sense of cherubic), goatee Offering a free one time special: FIRST FUCK ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! after that rates are negotiable! IGOTABONER: 6' 230 lbs, salt and pepper hair, pot belly..glasses..total pervert. no tats (scared of pain) 30+ years old (shut the fuck up dummpy!) George Burns good looks, obsessive compulsively clean...(showers 3 times a day, flosses, brushes etc) drinks like a fish and can never get enough lovin' (know what i mean?) For the horny soccer/hockey/football mom I offer: BFE, DATY, DATO, DIGITS TALK DIRTY, greek, short hair....YMWNV (your mileage will never vary) I have a talented tongue and a big thick cock!! I'm a total horndog and you will be fully serviced!!!!! Donation: No Charge...the smile on your face is all I need!!! ( I am not only cheap but extremely easy!) Gift suggestions: motorcycle accessories, leather goods, filthy european pornography. A feeldoe (google it) You know you want us!!! PM for an appointment today!! Safe, discreet and always ready to fill your every need!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Ahhhhhh... bless you man.... it's been getting lonely here at the agency. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Hey, how do I get in on this? Sounds like an agency that's just begging for my Abe Vigoda Experience! (http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=260209) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bcguy42 38594 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 I believe the dearth of Recommendations for Fat Bastard BBMs can be attributed to the line at the top of the page: ".. if you do not have anything nice to say... Please don't say anything at all" However, I'm sure the line on the label of Thierry & Guy Fat Bastard Shiraz would apply: "Remarkably full bodies" (It is a good wine, by the way!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toine 30556 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 As I am too scrawny to be a Fat Bastard BBM, I offer my services as the 'phone guy'. I promise not to triple book the guys too often, to limit photoshopping to adding tasteless tatoos at strategic places, and to otherwise describe the mood swings of the FB BBM somewhat accurately. I volunteer as well to be a 'fluffer' of sort doing regular beer runs to the local beer store and to keep them supplied with a steady diet of triple-garlic shawarma. When they feel insecure, I will get out the carnival mirrors that will show off their beer gut, keep a wide assortment of John Deer and Caterpillar caps, offer a (scrawny) shoulder for them to cry on, and always always have plenty of JD to drown their sorrows. Ladies, start calling me! No blocked numbers! PM accepted...reply guaranteed before year end.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 OMG I need to update my add! I'm like 42 now, about 200 lbs (more muscle), even more tattoos (and less hair) but the same quality services. Oh ya, my rates have gone up a little....I need an extra donation for greek and I only offer SAFE BFE now, as seems to be the trend. (unless I'm in Montreal, see below) Occasionally I visit Montreal where I will be offering the usual Montreal rates, which are about half of the Ottawa Rates and when in Montreal, BFE is not SAFE, just regular. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest k***na Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Kianna was laughing... I shouldn't have worn my ass chaps. Hahahahahah! Yes I was laughing at you! you are a really good dancer, the way you swing those hips! We must go again! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted September 2, 2011 Here is the original thread :) http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=5180&highlight=bastards Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
April Dawn 12207 Report post Posted September 3, 2011 well after reading all of that I can only say I will never think of blackberry messenger (bbm) without thinking of all these lovely gents! Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted September 3, 2011 OMG I need to update my add! I'm like 42 now, about 200 lbs (more muscle), even more tattoos (and less hair) but the same quality services. Oh ya, my rates have gone up a little....I need an extra donation for greek and I only offer SAFE BFE now, as seems to be the trend. (unless I'm in Montreal, see below) Occasionally I visit Montreal where I will be offering the usual Montreal rates, which are about half of the Ottawa Rates and when in Montreal, BFE is not SAFE, just regular. Oh my Cap you're right!! Time marches on!! OK update to the site....Boner retired to South America....Brazil I think where the booty is errrr bountiful!! We have hired his twin brother face2face who is more experienced in the ways of the world than the boner man...there was a certain naivete about the boner man that was endearing but a little too precious!! Face2face...6' 215lbs (yeah the skinnier brother), thick, shaved cock and balls, BFE, HE, PSE, DATY, DATO, Greek...all the usual stuff....rates have gone up though.....2 rum and coke per hour....we all need fuel!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted September 3, 2011 I don't know why I haven't heard about this agency. I can't find any reliable reviews, just some shill. I understand that everyone has to start somewhere and self-promotion is never easy when you really don't have much to promote. Okay. I'm willing to consider TOFTT if I'm ever in Ottawa. I've got $16.50 in Canadian Tire money. What will that get me? Oh, and please... don't send any pics with your reply. Some things are better left unseen until the final moment, eh? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 3, 2011 I don't know why I haven't heard about this agency. I can't find any reliable reviews, just some shill. I understand that everyone has to start somewhere and self-promotion is never easy when you really don't have much to promote. Okay. I'm willing to consider TOFTT if I'm ever in Ottawa. I've got $16.50 in Canadian Tire money. What will that get me? Oh, and please... don't send any pics with your reply. Some things are better left unseen until the final moment, eh? I will take $13 of that if you stop at Mickey D's on the way and bring me a burger. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 3, 2011 The only problem with having a Fat Bastard come to visit is your cat might have this reaction: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
