Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I've heard some disturbing rumors that Fat Bastards BBM has been having some problems with a shadowy organization known only as the Horribly Argumentative Religious Demagogues - Ontario North. Is there any truth to this? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I've heard some disturbing rumors that Fat Bastards BBM has been having some problems with a shadowy organization known only as the Horribly Argumentative Religious Demagogues - Ontario North. Is there any truth to this? Most of the real religious zealots can be found inside the Concerned Liturgical Organizations Seeking Erotic Temperance. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I've heard some disturbing rumors that Fat Bastards BBM has been having some problems with a shadowy organization known only as the Horribly Argumentative Religious Demagogues - Ontario North. Is there any truth to this? Yes HARDON is a problem for them - especially first thing in the morning when they wake up and their mind is not clear they are vulnerable to attacks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 It's actually funny you mention HARDON. They were going to merge with FLACCID a few years ago, but that was prevented by the Canadian Oversight Council Keeping Religious Instututions Nonregulated Governmentally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 It's actually funny you mention HARDON. They were going to merge with FLACCID a few years ago, but that was prevented by the Canadian Oversight Council Keeping Religious Instututions Nonregulated Governmentally That must have been quite a while back. I'd heard they were replaced by Various Irritating Agencies of Governmental Religious Authority. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 The politics and intrigue these <ahem!> splinter groups indulge in can be either fascinating or nauseating, depending on one's disposition. I just wish they'd quit e-mailing me with great offers to improve the length or girth of my penis. It's so dull. I have a suitcase full of penis facsimiles: the perfect length, girth, texture, colour and rates of vibration, gyration and pulse is always available when I want it. 'Nuff said! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 The politics and intrigue these <ahem!> splinter groups indulge in can be either fascinating or nauseating, depending on one's disposition. I just wish they'd quit e-mailing me with great offers to improve the length or girth of my penis. It's so dull. I have a suitcase full of penis facsimiles: the perfect length, girth, texture, colour and rates of vibration, gyration and pulse is always available when I want it. 'Nuff said! It's the male facsimile blow up dolls that look like Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Harper that creep me out. But the Deuce Bigelow doll has a nice smile. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 The politics and intrigue these <ahem!> splinter groups indulge in can be either fascinating or nauseating, depending on one's disposition. I just wish they'd quit e-mailing me with great offers to improve the length or girth of my penis. It's so dull. I have a suitcase full of penis facsimiles: the perfect length, girth, texture, colour and rates of vibration, gyration and pulse is always available when I want it. 'Nuff said! You see Samantha, if you stand with us, we will protect you against that, and provide some of the best service that Fat Bastards BBM has ever provided. As the newest celebrity, we will offer complementary bottle service, that's right, you can have a swig of our beer.... I have personally brought seven sets of Transformers, Smurfs and My Little Pony sheet sets to our compound... we have set up fantasy rooms... ohhhhh.... we have spared no expense on our limited budget..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 either fascinating or nauseating, depending on one's disposition. Indeed, a correlation has been found. The best indicator of your reaction is if you're a member of Service Providers Improving Tomorrow or Stern Women Always Lecturing Ladies (Often Wrongly) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I take it you guys don't have a chess set, then. Hmm... how about a croquinole board? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I take it you guys don't have a chess set, then. Hmm... how about a croquinole board? Crokinole??? I seriously LOVE you. I do believe that one MUST have spent their youth in Southwestern Ontario to appreciate the pleasure and pain of a crokinole match. For those uneducated, this is a Crokinole board: and here is more about the game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crokinole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 13, 2011 I take it you guys don't have a chess set, then. Hmm... how about a croquinole board? I was told I have a perfect penis for cribbage, but I'm not sure what that means... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 19, 2011 I'd like to welcome our newest hottie....HFXANDY. He's totally new, never done this before and ready for you lovely ladies. HFX, would you pleave give us a little description? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted September 19, 2011 I'd like to welcome our newest hottie....HFXANDY. He's totally new, never done this before and ready for you lovely ladies. HFX, would you pleave give us a little description? Is he available now? I'll TOFTT and report back. Additional Comments: I forgot... How much for 12 minutes? Can I cum twice? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyofHalifax 15339 Report post Posted September 19, 2011 More bear than man, hfxandy is the perfect Fat Bastard companion for you to cozy up to as the weather turns colder. Hfxandy misplaced his razor a month ago and now sports a full beard. With piercing blue eyes, this Celtic cutie will charm his way into your refrigerator. Book now before his farmer's tan fades. Not yet 30 years old, hfxandy has the stamina to ensure at least a SSOG and boundless enthusiasm to compensate for his awkward fumbling with your bra clasp. Offers a complete BFE, and Fat Bastard's newest option, CHUNK service. Operates out of the Fat Bastard BBM Halifax satellite office, outcalls to Dartmouth require an additional fee to pay the cost of the harbour ferry. He speaks decent English, terrible French and pretty reasonable Chiac to service any visiting ladies. Not a clockwatcher, he will not leave until you are completely satisfied or you forcibly eject him. Offers PWAC (Pay What You Can) service and will bring a Frequent Client Card. Buy 5 sessions, get one free. Also accepts leftovers, bathtub gin and obscure Japanese pop records in lieu of cash. 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 19, 2011 And there he is, HFX. :bigclap: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Can I cum twice? Nope. This is set out very clearly in the Book of Fat Bastards, verses thirteen to twenty-five: "Thrice shalt thou cum; no more, no less. Three shall be the number of the cummings, and the number of the orgasms shall be three. Four shalt thou not have; neither shalt thou cum twice, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then kickest thou out from thine boudoir the Fat Bastard that hath entertained thee, lest thy supplies of sacred pizza and beer be sorely diminished forthwith." (with apologies to Monty Python :) ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Nope. This is set out very clearly in the Book of Fat Bastards, verses thirteen to twenty-five: "Thrice shalt thou cum; no more, no less. Three shall be the number of the cummings, and the number of the orgasms shall be three. Four shalt thou not have; neither shalt thou cum twice, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then kickest thou out from thine boudoir the Fat Bastard that hath entertained thee, lest thy supplies of sacred pizza and beer be sorely diminished forthwith." (with apologies to Monty Python :) ) Psssst.... Phaedrus... it's Gabriella we are talking about here.... she can cum as many times as she wants. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Indeed! That does seem harsh. The glorious Gabriella would hardly be warmed-up by the third orgasm, I'm sure. One might imagine that even the Fat Bastards would simply be transfixed with admiration! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 That applies to the lovely Samantha as well.... as long as you leave a reco, we will wax your car as well!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
datyaddict 2174 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Orgasms are covered by the money-back guarantee: If you cum, you're not getting your money back! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Oh ya, HFXandy is our youngest addition to the Fat Bastards family. We've been looking for a nice young dude to fill our little niche market of 75+ year old ladies that always call looking for a young stud. So now finally we have our man!! Ladies (or should I say Grannies?) we can now welcome you! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 Great News!!! Old Dog informed me that Fat Bastards will be auctioning off one of their members as a door prize at the upcoming Ottawa social. Stay tuned to find out which Fat Bastards member will be the prize and who the lucky winner will be. Oh, Old Dog, by the way is this draw just for the ladies, or shall we include the gents as well. Just want to be clear. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166767 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 Angela, I think I could organize a bunch of ladies to take part on the telephone, driving bids up, or down, as may be appropriate.... When it's all over, the encounter could also be mailed in, so to speak! :tongue: <Just kidding, guys. I'm jealous that I can't be at the social!> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 with his duo partner As you can see they won't be wearing chaps, you ladies will have to guess which Fat Bastard is being auctioned off Great News!!! Old Dog informed me that Fat Bastards will be auctioning off one of their members as a door prize at the upcoming Ottawa social. Stay tuned to find out which Fat Bastards member will be the prize and who the lucky winner will be. Oh, Old Dog, by the way is this draw just for the ladies, or shall we include the gents as well. Just want to be clear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
