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Fat Bastard BBM

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farley.jpgg

 

No worries MrNice....the Mod didn't shut us down ! Our illustrious self proclaimed leader has been off chasing puppies, helping organize socials and dressing up as Santa and feeling ladies asses and stuff ;)

 

Andy Eastwood has been off shooting a new western movie. Face2face and the rest of the boys have been well.....happily hobbying :)

 

As for me...well...I am the newest BBM member so they still have me on Zombie watch....but I did manage to get enough motivational speaking gigs to be able to afford to buy back my van for $10 and put a rebuilt motor in it.... I went about 50 feet and then the tranny fell out of it...literally ... but hey we won't go there :( So still hangin out down by the river.

 

Funny ... but for some reason I can't get any Beautiful Cerb Ladies willing to do "outcalls" down here ;) Location ?? or accomodations ?? Oh well.

 

2012 looks up to be a much better year !!! I hope to get a rebuilt tranny and some used tires for my van;) Hopefully in time for next Xmas social !

 

Happy New Years everyone !!!! From down by the river !!!

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Good to hear that you are almost mobile again. I have the tires for you. Anything to help.

 

 

usedtires.jpg

 

You rock MrNice !!! Say.... I am looking for 215 / 75 / R15 " tires. I got my binocs out here but don't see any. Also just wondering if say....I got four tires .... and it is over $75 . Would you take monthly payments ?

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I have just what you need.

imagesCA9Q7IWP.jpg

 

This set gives extra grip and is my all season versatile model. The other three are not quite as good, so say, $60 for the four, ten installments? But wait, that's not all. If you order now I will send for free a tire repair kit. No extra cost.

 

tire_fix.jpg

 

I have feelers out there with my buddies for that tranny too!

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I have been trying to get a hold of the Fat Bastard Agency, but no one is answering the phone.

 

Does anyone have an idea when they're back on. Their calendar doesn't reveal much:

 

redneck-advent-calendar.jpg

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We have been busy.

 

We installed a new doorbell:

 

RedneckDoorbell.jpg

 

Hired a receptionist:

 

draft_lens6961802module62424262photo_1255209955squidoo_redneck_bra.jpg

 

Dealt with our coaster dilemma:

 

fat+redneck.jpg

 

And we had to finally deal with an intruder....

 

north-idaho-christmas.jpg

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I have pretty much been stuck in my van down by the river :(

 

Thanks to MrNice I have fixed my tires !!

tire_fix.jpg

 

But no Transmission yet for the old van........

 

So made a deal for some new four legged transportation :)

 

Meet Ethel ! HeeHaw... I should be arriving at the Angency soon...say about a week ;)

Ethel.jpg

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Hey, Lee! Happy New Year! I have great news for you re: your transmission. I've got a box of trained hamsters and four wheels for them to run in. The cute little guys will run for hours and hours, especially at night. I'm sure you can rig up something or other that will make their incredible energy output workable for your van. After all, hamsters used to power the interwebs, right?

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Not wanting to spam this thread, but I think that folks might appreciate being warned about the welcoming staff at the Fat Bastard BBM place. My advice: wear a raincoat--these guys drool, a lot!

in7rm.jpg?w=560

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Not wanting to spam this thread, but I think that folks might appreciate being warned about the welcoming staff at the Fat Bastard BBM place. My advice: wear a raincoat--these guys drool, a lot!

in7rm.jpg?w=560

 

We just wanted the clients to get accustomed to ... ummmm.... ermmmm... ahhhhhhh.... okay, we have a couple of droolers.

 

For the purposes of full disclosure, we actually have three droolers, one of whom is pretty gassy. One other really gassy guy. We think he ate something last year that just won't go away.

 

One of our guys kinda lactates. He won't talk about it. On the upside, he doesn't drool and he is not one of the gassy ones. I mean he does pass wind occasionally, but we haven't had too many complaints.

 

We have two hairy back guys. They usually keep their shirts on except when we have a FB BBM gala; we use their backs to build up static electricity so we can stick balloons to the walls. One of them is a drooler and gassy, the other is the one that ate the scary thing last year. So if you book one of our sasquatch brothers, you know that you will be warm under the sheets.

 

One of our part timers cries a lot upon.... completion. He is getting help.

 

Don't go near the cat. The cat is rather contrary. In fact, don't look directly at the cat. The only one that the cat likes is our milky friend.

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Looking directly at a cat can have dire consequences as many well know. Just to be clear, I am not "that" cat...

cat

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Looking directly at a cat can have dire consequences as many well know. Just to be clear, I am not "that" cat...

 

cat

 

Ohhhh Cat.... we sooo wish it was you :)

 

This is what we got ...... :icon_rolleyes:

 

Mean-Cat-16356.jpg

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Dere mister olde dawg,

 

Ma misses done seen yore commershell on yore websight and wen she read about two haairy back gentlemens she done got herself all cranked up. You sees, she aint never been with a hairy backed man, and for shore not with two at the same time. It is are third anniversury and too celebrate she wants me two try to set her up wif these fine loking gentlemens. For ma honey, enything she wants is wat I will gets her.

 

She is a litle shy so I kould only send are photograf taken from behinds us. But, she is a little tiger in bed and bein with a man with a haairy back is going to give these gentlemens awl that they kan handel.

 

hair.jpg

So mister olde dawg, kould you please help my litle chikadee?

 

mn2

 

PS: She only likes the finur things in life so she only looks at the BBM websight, not those oneses like Cerb.

 

PPS: She done jst wispered a sweat nothing into my ear:). she wondurs if YOUSE mite be avalable too? The name Olde dawg sort of turns her on.

 

PPS: Dont thinks you that just bekause we are from litle PEI thats we are kuntry bumpkinses. We knows are way around this techernology and lifstile.

 

PPS: Wood you prefers cash or coulds we trade for a lobster or a bag of PEI taters?

 

She is alredy loooking fur yere responses.

 

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Dere mister olde dawg,

 

Ma misses done seen yore commershell on yore websight and wen she read about two haairy back gentlemens she done got herself all cranked up. You sees, she aint never been with a hairy backed man, and for shore not with two at the same time. It is are third anniversury and too celebrate she wants me two try to set her up wif these fine loking gentlemens. For ma honey, enything she wants is wat I will gets her.

 

She is a litle shy so I kould only send are photograf taken from behinds us. But, she is a little tiger in bed and bein with a man with a haairy back is going to give these gentlemens awl that they kan handel.

 

hair.jpg

 

So mister olde dawg, kould you please help my litle chikadee?

 

mn2

 

PS: She only likes the finur things in life so she only looks at the BBM websight, not those oneses like Cerb.

 

PPS: She done jst wispered a sweat nothing into my ear:). she wondurs if YOUSE mite be avalable too? The name Olde dawg sort of turns her on.

 

PPS: Dont thinks you that just bekause we are from litle PEI thats we are kuntry bumpkinses. We knows are way around this techernology and lifstile.

 

PPS: Wood you prefers cash or coulds we trade for a lobster or a bag of PEI taters?

 

She is alredy loooking fur yere responses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least they're Dale Earnhardt fans!!!

cat

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PPS: Dont thinks you that just bekause we are from litle PEI thats we are kuntry bumpkinses. We knows are way around this techernology and lifstile.

 

Bumpkinses, my precious? We likes bumpkinses. Yesssssss....

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Dear MN2...

 

Thank you for your interest in our quality services.

 

We would be more than pleased to provide our services to your beloved spouse. The "hairy fellars" are excited to be working together again.

 

Please advise if your "missus" would like the Velcro special. It's on page 6 of the website under special services. Essentially the hairier of the two uses mousse, gel and a curling iron on his dorsal region and the two become fused in an rhythmic frenzy.

 

As for my services, hell, why not. Bring potatoes, lobster and some of that red sand.

 

Oh... please bring your own soap and hide it. One of the gassy guys likes to do bubble shows.

 

OD

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One of the gassy guys likes to do bubble shows.

 

OD

 

 

Thanks you mister olde dawg,

 

Ohh. Bubbly shows? Ma misses done one too wen she mixed are shine with that 7 upper. now, that wuz a buble show.

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Well fellas....it appears that I may be a little late getting to the BBM lodge. A few years back I did an audition for Chippendales with Patrick Swayze....and I just got a call from a major publisher.....Playgirl I think it is called....whatever....anyways they want to show the clip on their online website and they offered me 500 Bucks !!!! So got my bags packed and me and Ethel are heading to the big city to sign up the old contract. BUT don't worry boys ! I will be there soon :) sure hoping to meet the PEI Bumkinses :)

 

Here's a preview of my dance moves....any unauthorized re-broadcasting is not good...but I can't really stop you anyways so what the hay.....go ahead

 

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Thanks for the reminder Phaedrus!

 

I tried to get someone to help me take it down, but Old Dog was still pretty hungover from the holidays

hungover-dog.jpg

 

And LeeRichards is still dressed in his New Years Eve finest

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkF_aHf0G7JxyKOXwSwaKrgFSHXqGMmh21G8EIYWKPB_gNZT3v

 

And everyone else seemed a little partied out as well

Drunk-guy-funny-man-person-beer-bottles-passed-out-thumb.jpg

 

bed-keg.jpg

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR6z1OBLm4g_mnf0VtX9z005C7dBssPLseHeD9oGKb0C9yS_mmWeQ

 

 

So I tried to take them down myself, and, well, don't ask me how, but this was the result

disturbing.jpg

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And LeeRichards is still dressed in his New Years Eve finest

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkF_aHf0G7JxyKOXwSwaKrgFSHXqGMmh21G8EIYWKPB_gNZT3v

 

 

 

Well Andy I have finally changed out of my Tux and taking a break from the partying ...... Just having a little trouble with the my eyes still ..........

 

16567171-aa2

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I called them up the other day,

Those Bastards Fat, the Guys that Weigh

I hoped they'd send some fun my way

To lighten up a dreary day.

The guy who took my call, I swear

Was very much the worse for wear.

I asked what had caused this distress

And why he sounded such a mess.

"A quiet night at our HQ,

We had a beer - just one or two.

Don't you worry, have no fear

We do this most nights of the year

There's no cause for you to be wary -

Now, what's your fancy? Bald or hairy?"

I made my choice - I won't say what;

They said they'd be there in a shot.

So, preparation: in a trice

I'd half a case of beer on ice.

A pizza ordered, soon was there

All was set, with time to spare.

Fast-forward, then; it's five to five

A truck has rattled up my drive.

I noted then, with great distrust

That there was much less truck than rust

I wondered, with a little fear -

"How on earth did *that* get here?"

But that was nothing to my fright

At what then assailed my sight.

A bulging gut, with faded jeans

(they were quite bursting at the seams)

But as for hair, they are no liars:

His head was as bald as his tires!

I asked him if he'd come inside -

Recover from his rattling ride

He looked quite sore, of that I'll vouch

He quickly fell upon the couch

I offered him a beer, then two

They quickly vanished from my view.

A third was downed, and as I watched

Persistently he scratched his crotch!

I wondered then, with trembling knees -

Was it crabs, or was it fleas?

Did I really want to know?

How could I get him to go?

He ate my pizza, drank my beer

He belched - and farted too, I fear.

And then the bugger fell asleep

It's quite enough to make one weep.

Three hours later - that's no joke

The bastard finally awoke.

I hustled him out of the door

And hoped I'd never see him more.

My prayers weren't answered from above -

"The truck won't start - I need a shove!"

I donned my coat, and went outside

And laboured at his rusting ride

I pushed and shoved, with might and main

I swear I nearly burst a vein!

Finally, the engine caught

My efforts wouldn't be for naught

And so I sent him on his way

I'd had enough for just one day.

And so here ends my sorry tale;

My evening with a human whale.

So if you're ever tempted by

The prospect of a fleshy thigh

Please make sure your tastes don't lack

A great love of a hairy back

Stock up on liquor, and make sure

Your drive goes downhill from your door!

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Well folks it is Saturday - Great day to get together and watch some sports and drink some cocktails :)

 

Why don't you folks pop on over the the mansion .....

16573541-24f

 

Watch some of our favorite sports

 

16573669-9bd

16573581-b45

16573586-0a7

 

Drinks some cocktails .....

 

We even have a couple new hostesses !!

 

Old Dog found this hot little filly somewhere ? not sure where actually

16573623-644

 

And this former Hooters beau....(cough cough) ahem.... waitress

 

16573550-71d

 

Should be fun fun fun :)

 

I am still having some eye troubles so If I bump into you once and awhile dont be alarmed

16573606-2f2

 

Disclaimer

 

FB BBM Lodge will not be held responsible for any legal action pertaining to excessive alcohol consumption, poop on shoes, injuries pertaining to playing toilet seat horseshoes, sexual harrasment from our hostesses, or from flirting with our watchdogs

 

16573811-ec5

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Just wondering... do you guys go here?

 

wtf-photos-videos-untitled1.png

 

Damn. Now there will be stalkers.

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