Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 5, 2013 Boys... we need to work on our advertising. I know its been a little slow, but dammit, we may have to start eating the pets. I know that you liked the idea of "Gone in 60 seconds" - it would optimize our time with the ladies and give us time to recover... but I was thinking we should get more sensual. Ideas guys??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 5, 2013 Boys... we need to work on our advertising. I know its been a little slow, but dammit, we may have to start eating the pets. I know that you liked the idea of "Gone in 60 seconds" - it would optimize our time with the ladies and give us time to recover... but I was thinking we should get more sensual. Ideas guys??? I will have to do some thinking on the slogan thing OD...... I posted below in an earlier post that I have the drive thru open .... I also put up a sign on the interstate dirt road out there that should draw the folks in for a nice lunch....hopefully this will generate us a little income so we don't have to eat our pets..... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric Northman 16522 Report post Posted April 5, 2013 Didn't I just see some of you guys down at the beach getting an early start on swimwear season? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 5, 2013 Didn't I just see some of you guys down at the beach getting an early start on swimwear season? Why yes that is me :) I am from Manitoba and that explains a lot ... right ?? and in my defense in regards to flashing some ass there .... the baler twine that I use for a belt for my Value Village wrangler pants broke...... don't buy the cheap stuff... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 6, 2013 Why yes that is me :) I am from Manitoba and that explains a lot ... right ?? and in my defense in regards to flashing some ass there .... the baler twine that I use for a belt for my Value Village wrangler pants broke...... don't buy the cheap stuff... Plus he was going to get some water for the tank and needed to express the inner plumber that resides in all of us.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted April 6, 2013 Been thinking of your advertisement slogans..... The ultimate safe BF experience beer can buy! Now booking your ultimate dream date. Special rates apply. Pizza, beer and nachos are all acceptable donations. We will service your aching body. Please call, we mean, we really want you to call! xoxo 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 6, 2013 Well the new FB BBM restaurant venture has been a learning experience so far but I think we are on track.....We had a customer on Thursday....no oops that was Wednesday...... I think it was Roamingguy ....he had a dodge truck, a fishing rod, tacklebox and a picture of a boat ? ..... Anywhooo I have added a appetizer to our menu.... I call it the Weinertizer :) Looks like calamari....but no sireee It's a weiner.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) <gently clearing my throat ever so politely> Boys... about food for your treasured companions? Perhaps, once or twice upon a time, you and someone dear to your heart decided to throw a Grey Cup party--remember? You thought it would be easy, because all you really needed was three or four cases of Blue or Canadian, a few bags of chips, maybe some nacho cheese Doritos and some onion dip? And remember how the one dear to your heart was scandalized by your, well, maybe she called it "cheap, sophomoric taste," or maybe she didn't use actual words because she was speechlessly gaping at your notion of a menu? Whatever, you know I'm not here to criticize her. I never criticize the dear ones--I have such enormous sympathy for them, including in matters like food. Recall that your willingness to upgrade to serving Moosehead and McCain's pizza brought little comfort to your dear one, and that you were perplexed, weren't you? Thank you for nodding so quietly! What you boys enjoy when you're watching the hockey game together is fine. (Frankly, it's pretty bad for your health, but let's not get into that now.) Food is about a lot of things--culture, family, tradition, what Mom cooked when we were little children. But when you're entertaining a delightful companion, I have one suggestion that will never fail you: Call a caterer. Explain that an exquisite woman deigns to spend a couple of hours with you and you want to impress her. You don't want to be too flashy or extravagant--no peacock's tongues, for example. You just want to demonstrate sensitivity, consideration, elegance and, er, unquestionable safety in terms of ingredients, proper refrigeration and cooking. Some hors d'oeuvres (you know: those things made of puff pastry filled with wild mushrooms; exotic cheeses with artisanal crisp breads; maybe a few tiny quiches), a light main course, and for dessert, a few petite fours or perhaps a small cheesecake. A silver tray with a few strawberries dredged in dark chocolate makes a lovely statement on the bedside table. Never forget that champagne goes with everything. Caterers take credit cards. And cash. Edited April 7, 2013 by SamanthaEvans typos! 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 6, 2013 <gently clearing my throat ever so politely> Boys... about food for your treasured companions? Perhaps, once or twice upon a time, you and someone dear to your heart decided to throw a Grey Cup party--remember? You thought it would be easy, because all you really needed was three or four cases of Blue or Canadian, a few bags of chips, maybe some nacho cheese Doritos and some onion dip? And remember how the one dear to your heart was scandalized by your, well, maybe she called it "cheap, sophomoric taste," or maybe she didn't use actual words because she was speechlessly gaping at your notion of a menu? Whatever, you know I'm not here to criticize her. I never criticize the dear ones--I have such enormous sympathy for them, including in matters like food. Recall that your willingness to upgrade to serving Moosehead and McCain's pizza brought little comfort to your dear one, and that you were perplexed, weren't you? Thank you for nodding so quietly! What you boys enjoy when you're watching the hockey game together is fine. (Frankly, it's pretty bad for your health, but let's not get into that now.) Food is about a lot of things--culture, family, tradition, what Mom cooked when we were little children. But when you're entertaining a delightful companion, I have one suggestion that will never fail you: Call a caterer. Explain that an exquisite woman deigns to spend a couple of hours with you and you want to impress her. You don't want to be too flashy or extravagant--no peacock's tongues, for example. You just want to demonstrate sensitivity, consideration, elegance and, er, unquestionable safety in terms of ingredients, proper refrigeration and cooking. Some hors d'oeuvres (you know: those things made of puff pastry filled with wild mushrooms, exotic cheeses with artisanal crisp breads, maybe a few tiny quiches), a light main course, for dessert, a few petite fours or perhaps a small cheesecake. A silver tray with a few strawberries dredged in dark chocolate makes a lovely statement the bedside table. Never forget that champagne goes with everything. Caterers take credit cards. And cash. Boys... I think we need to take on Samantha as our house marm. She's pretty and sexy and she might even get Andy out of bed to take a bath this month. She talks about food that I have never heard about and says it will improve business. She smells good. And she has boobs. I like her bunches. And she has boobs. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted April 8, 2013 Gentlemen, thank you for your kind offer to become the Madam of your establishment. It's no secret that I am considering in engaging in a similar enterprise at some point in the future, though I had a somewhat different model in mind than the kind of thing you're doing. Since the sort of position you've described will naturally involve a significant financial contribution on your part, I have forwarded your suggestion to my attorney for consideration. I'm sure that he will contact you and your counsel in due course. So that there may be no argument between us, I hope you will agree that it is much better to let the lawyers hammer out the details than for us to do it ourselves. I'm happy to blame lawyers for difficulties in negotiations! In the meantime, I came across a large sale of chocolate Easter rabbits yesterday and am arranging to have a case of the sweet things delivered to you today or tomorrow. Serendipitously, the store was also having a sale on case lots of Lysol cleaner. I'm sending two cases of that, as well. Do take care not to mix them up, okay? :biggrin: 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 9, 2013 Gentlemen, thank you for your kind offer to become the Madam of your establishment. It's no secret that I am considering in engaging in a similar enterprise at some point in the future, though I had a somewhat different model in mind than the kind of thing you're doing. Since the sort of position you've described will naturally involve a significant financial contribution on your part, I have forwarded your suggestion to my attorney for consideration. I'm sure that he will contact you and your counsel in due course. So that there may be no argument between us, I hope you will agree that it is much better to let the lawyers hammer out the details than for us to do it ourselves. I'm happy to blame lawyers for difficulties in negotiations! In the meantime, I came across a large sale of chocolate Easter rabbits yesterday and am arranging to have a case of the sweet things delivered to you today or tomorrow. Serendipitously, the store was also having a sale on case lots of Lysol cleaner. I'm sending two cases of that, as well. Do take care not to mix them up, okay? :biggrin: Well Madam Samantha....as the secretary of this here Redneck Lodge #666, I had some corspondnce, spondence. corres, shit can't spell that.....anwhoo our attorney's have met apparently ...they prioritized posted by heehaw mail this pic....your attorney on the left there and ours on the right side there in the picture...and it appears the negotiations and the tanning are going very well :) Oops its 12PM and happy hour again and gotta go....talk soon Miss Samantha ! PS .... rude of me to not ask !!!! .. how's the weather in that Vanhoover place west of Thunder Bay there ?? 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted April 9, 2013 Well, I'm not qualified to comment on legal issues. However, Samantha did ask us to do something about the food around here, and I think that if she's gong to be running the show we'd better get the catering up to standard pretty quickly. Regrettably, it's true that although we're world experts on bacon sandwiches, my research indicates that there are some misguided individuals who do not consider fried pig and some bread to be the epitome of haute cuisine. Gentlemen... we're going to have to get some outside help here. So, I have conducted exhaustive research (I wasn't just going out for lunch all the time, okay? Well, maybe I was, but it was for a good cause, dammit!), and I think I've found a suitable candidate. I only tried the soup, but I think we can safely trust these guys with the responsibility of cooking for us and our visitors. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 10, 2013 Well, I'm not qualified to comment on legal issues. However, Samantha did ask us to do something about the food around here, and I think that if she's gong to be running the show we'd better get the catering up to standard pretty quickly. Regrettably, it's true that although we're world experts on bacon sandwiches, my research indicates that there are some misguided individuals who do not consider fried pig and some bread to be the epitome of haute cuisine. Gentlemen... we're going to have to get some outside help here. So, I have conducted exhaustive research (I wasn't just going out for lunch all the time, okay? Well, maybe I was, but it was for a good cause, dammit!), and I think I've found a suitable candidate. I only tried the soup, but I think we can safely trust these guys with the responsibility of cooking for us and our visitors. Do beer and lysol make a decent mixed drink? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted April 10, 2013 Speaking of food, just as long as you guys don't copy the same model used by the American Fat Bastard BBM branch down South. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reuben Sandwich 13841 Report post Posted April 10, 2013 Haben sie der "oat cuisine"? Yah. Donkey shen mein herr. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted April 10, 2013 It's good to know that your establishment has some type of video surveillance, Lee. Even better, it recognizes obvious bottom-feeding parasites <ahem> lawyers. I expect the negotiations may take quite awhile, if only because my lawyer charges far more per hour than I do, on principle. He claims that grad school got him into his line of work, having made him unfit for anything else. That happened to me, too. Irony abounds! My apologies for the dark humour, Mr. Richards. After the most glorious Easter in decades, Vancouver has reverted to rainy greyness for most of the last week. Mr. Churchill's black dog, disguised as a somewhat damp apricot standard poodle, has been plaguing me recently, demanding long walks in the rain. I am fending off memories of Toronto in the winter: the slush was disgusting but the skies were clear, bright blue..... Well Madam Samantha....as the secretary of this here Redneck Lodge #666, I had some corspondnce, spondence. corres, shit can't spell that.....anwhoo our attorney's have met apparently ...they prioritized posted by heehaw mail this pic....your attorney on the left there and ours on the right side there in the picture...and it appears the negotiations and the tanning are going very well :) Oops its 12PM and happy hour again and gotta go....talk soon Miss Samantha ! PS .... rude of me to not ask !!!! .. how's the weather in that Vanhoover place west of Thunder Bay there ?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted April 11, 2013 Hey boys, who's working today? Feeling like getting it on and wanna know what 1 beer will get me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 11, 2013 1 Beer... you have a choice of all of us!!! Beer and a bacon sandwich and we are on ya like white on rice! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted April 11, 2013 1 Beer... you have a choice of all of us!!! Beer and a bacon sandwich and we are on ya like white on rice! You mean I have to bring a beer AND bacon? No, I want to know what I can get for ONE BEER. Thank you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 11, 2013 A beer means you get the safe BFE... the only exchange of fluids is your beer in our bellies!!! BFE: LAYN (look at you nekkid) GAB (get a boner) WPOTV (watch porn on TV) ECT (eat cheezies together) TYB (touch your boobies) GAB2 (get another boner) GJAMHGWI (grab junk and make helicopter gestures with it) LBALYDYSTU (lay back and let you do your stuff to us) MSSN (make silly sex noises) DYB (drink your beer) FAOC (fall asleep on couch) GAB3 -- (get another boner, your mileage may vary) PWABIOD (pass wind and blame it on dog) We offer unrushed safe BFE for a beer. It has to be cold and unopened. Skunky beer will mean we will only get one boner. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 13, 2013 Well fellas....I got us .... I mean I HAD us one of them there turkey cooker thingies to do up some wingies .... BUT ...... Either I got mixed up, drunk or nobody told me to put oil in it and not moonshine .... It don't work anymore :( 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted April 13, 2013 Well Lee, now if ya'll had only taken my suggestion when I came to your door selling my redneck grill (as pictured below) for only $9.99, you wouldn't be in this pickle.. This grill can cook wings in minutes boy and can be cleaned in many different ways. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted April 13, 2013 Well Lee, now if ya'll had only taken my suggestion when I came to your door selling my redneck grill (as pictured below) for only $9.99, you wouldn't be in this pickle.. This grill can cook wings in minutes boy and can be cleaned in many different ways. Awww thanks Nikki !! I will work hard and scrape up the extra $9.99 to get one of them babies.... once I get a job ! I actually am a rocket scientist and inventor too :) So far I invented a corrugated cardboard model rocket but never seems to get off the pad. Always burns up on takeoff ?? ..... and also a potato cannon that shoots potatoes and rolls of toilet paper too !! I haven't had an actual contract ... ever but one will come along soon and I will be able to afford and pick up one of them units you suggested there Nikki !!! Do you need electricity to run that baby ?? That could be a problem at the lodge. We can borrow some from the neighbor or there is lots of gas around there if it can be converted to gas power griddle ! Old Dog has earned the right to be in charge and run the gas committee/division of the lodge....... Thx again. and you just keep comin a knockin Nikki and eventually we will buy one. The old truck hot tub will be up and running soon so bring your bikini bottoms (tops optional at the FB resort) and we will invite you in. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted April 13, 2013 Thx again. and you just keep comin a knockin Nikki and eventually we will buy one. The old truck hot tub will be up and running soon so bring your bikini bottoms (tops optional at the FB resort) and we will invite you in. Lee.... she can bring the top!!! We can use it after for hammocks for the kittens and puppies!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted April 15, 2013 Hey boys, who's working today? Feeling like getting it on and wanna know what 1 beer will get me? Sorry, Meaghan! I missed you when you were here, alas... I had a prior engagement. I've recently had my hair done, and I've found that it's made me remarkably popular! I think the ladies like my new six-pack, too... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
