Andee 220524 Report post Posted December 22, 2013 I was privileged to to partake in some of the Christmas activities at the Fat Bastard Compound. Old Dog and Phaedrus managed to get the tree up. Notch did his community service in the town's local Christmas parade: Lee drove in from Manitoba with his decorated truck - the added bonus hopefully to scare off the deer and moose he occasionally comes into contact with. Roaming Guy managed to get all the gift packages ready for ladies. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted December 26, 2013 In retrospect, I can't help but think that Lee's no-show may have something to do with the Movember picture he'd posted that morning: Why yes Phaedrus I realized the "snotsicles" may have deterred the babes and caused some no - shows Sooooooooooo I decided to head down south to the warmth of our Fat Bastard lodge in Louisianna. As you can see by the buildup there I am still getting no-shows ??? Go figure ? I'd masturbate but I have small hands ......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted December 26, 2013 Lee has the new state of the art Limo ready for the next visit by the ladies to the Lodge! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted January 10, 2014 Well I went to the doctor recently in the fall of 2012 and he called me fatty. I replied "I know you are but what am I ?" Anyhooooo my fellow fatties. It appears our lodge is faltering a tad bit. Zero bookings in the last 5 years or so I believe. So good news is I decided to go on a recruiting mission. A 2014 Canadian tour so to speak. I have been on the road since January or July of 2013 . Guess I got a headstart. I looked in my bank account and priced flights and I can made it to Halifax. One way. So that's it for the tour. But I had a plan. An impromptu one I hid out in Katherine's wine cellar and ate grapes to stay healthy until she caught me :icon_redface: Then I all Austin Powered her with my charm baby and offered her some grapes and we got drunk and shagged like there is no tomorrow !! Then I gave her an LR massage (hard to explain but it may be on Wikepedia ? ) and cooked her and me breakfast with her food out of her fridge with my hands and burned more calories on the table after breaky was over....desert breakfast I suppose...then I was on my merry little way. So I was on my way to Vermont (which was the wrong way and Em took care of me once again ;) ) when I bumped in to my beautiful wifey Emily !!! She said " Whatcha doin here ?" I said "I dunno' She said "Wanna talk tits?" I said " Sure, I normally don't talk tits but yours are God's gift to all of us" She said "Get in my hotel room NOW !!!! " Emily is a redhead and I love her....and I listen !!!!! ;) I had to ask her directions from the linen closet where I like to sleep....but I found it !!! Calories be gone. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Then I hitch hiked to Truro. Never done that before so had one thumb going each way so little confusing to the drivers apparently. Truro ? They have trees there or something ? And PENELOPE is in the area !!! I MISS PENELOPE !!!! Holy Doodle calories be gone there I tell ya !!! and spankings !!! let me tell ya Tom foolery galore and one horny mess. Ohhh the memories. From there I played hopscotch with the kids until I hopped all the way to the ocean and planned to swim over to PEI. Nope.... wrong side of the province sigh. Sooo had a beer. then washed dishes to pay for it. Walked to the other side of NS and swam over to PEI. Had a beer with that MRNice guy gone retired and see he is still beating the crap out of his house with a sledgehammer and renovating. He fed me and housed me and offered me beers :) oops calories be BACK ON !! Then rented a boat. A big boat. Then paddled my way over to New Brunswick. Then looked over and went "Hey ! When did they put that fucking bridge there ? " Then I got a text from Wifey #3 Savannah in Newfie land saying she needed some "maintenance" done at her house. So up over the bridge I walk. Then realize I am back on an island. Shit. Sooooo off swimming again I go to the nearest iceberg. Crawl on . Brrrrrr my nipples hurt !!! Shit !!! iceberg going wrong way :( Swim again.... get on iceberg 69 heading to Newfoundland and boom there in a week !!!!! Have a visit with wifey...MAINTENANCE TIME :) eat her food and drink her wine out of her fridge. Still on a squeaky tight budget you know. It's cold so we are buck nekkid in bed cause they say skin on skin keeps you warm and alive ? Right ? mmmmm There was a power outage of course but I actually flipped her breaker.....shhhhhh..... So we burn calories. and again in the kitchen and again in the living room. Gotta keep warm !!!!! ;) Off I go ! I shall snorkel my way outta there me thinks. Hmmmm ... end up in Labrador..... I had a nice conversation with a seal and then carried on my little way. I hiked, walked, swam, snorkeled, and belly flopped my way to Quebec. I had a nice visit in Montreal. I spanked VJ, Chrystal spanked me, Keissy spanked Chrystal, Emma spanked all of us cause we were bad bad bad good bad !! Good times. Eyes Wide Shut. Then we ate sushi and all danced nekkid in the street :) Sooooo Feelin kinda slim and healthy by now by cracky. !!! Still had a one pack ab but it is smaller now. Soooooo off I go to Ottawa. Hitch hike again. Get picked up and off we go. Where ya heading I ask ? "Moncton". Fuck !! Stop the car please !! Wrong thumb again. So I stick out the other thumb and get picked up and boom I am in Ottawa in 2 hours ! yay. Take me to the airport I say. Not sure why I ain't flying. Then I grab a cab at the airport and go to the hotel. So I go to check in and they ask me for my credit card ? I say "sure I play cards !! Cribbage, 500, hearts, snap....you name it ! " "Where's your linen room or do you have those floatee things for the pool cause I am tired and need some sleep ? " Then I pick up my cel phone and listen to music while I borrow someone else's phone to text Cleo and Kathryn. I say... "Hi...My name is Frank" No reply.... "LR here.... I have no money but can I squeeze your bits anyways? " No answer.... "You sexies like ice cream ? " no answer. Then I said ............" Look girls I am the damn president grand exalted present and past puppa of.....disclaimer.....used to be until I got voted out :( of the FAT BASTARD LODGE OF CANADA, ONTARIARIO SOMEWHERE CANADA !!!! I have a goofy hat !!! please talk to me" They replied "Ohhhhh . Are you that fat bastard guy, bald with a goatee, have a hairy chest and drink saki in the Jacuzzi and love luv love LUV Allotta Fagina ? " That's me Okay....sooooooo...... Apparently my Tandy computer from Radio Shack I found in the dumpster is dying so I better let the keyboard rest, charge er up, and continue on with the ....... "Fat Guy with the Plumber's Butt Blog" tomorrow ;) Hugggs and Kosses ZZZZZZIIIIIIIIZZZZZ 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted January 11, 2014 Anyhooooo my fellow fatties. It appears our lodge is faltering a tad bit. Zero bookings in the last 5 years or so I believe. Too true, my friend. Too true. But... have you seen the news? You can trade sex for fish. Really. As the song has it: I'm alright, Jack... just keep your hands off of my "stack". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted January 11, 2014 RG might pick up on this new trend! As he is The Boatless Fisherman he has access to a lot of fish. But will the Ladies accept his catch? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted January 15, 2014 Motorboating now available. Ladies, please form an orderly queue... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katherine of Halifax 113932 Report post Posted January 15, 2014 Motorboating now available. Ladies, please form an orderly queue... I will stand in line to see any of you gorgeous and well spoken gentlemen . I've been trying to visit now for two years , I email , call and text that Lee Richards and never a reply . Do you guys have internet and cell service at that lodge . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted January 18, 2014 I will stand in line to see any of you gorgeous and well spoken gentlemen . I've been trying to visit now for two years , I email , call and text that Lee Richards and never a reply . Do you guys have internet and cell service at that lodge . I don't think so. Old Dog was doing something with beer-cans and string, and I think he said something about inter-nets, and that he was going to sell service, but I thought it was a BDSM thing he was doing... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted January 18, 2014 Fat Bastard Lodge has added state of the art kitchen equipment for those legendary Late dinners! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted January 21, 2014 Fat Bastard Lodge has added state of the art kitchen equipment for those legendary Late dinners! Cuts down on dishes. We can fry the bacon up right on the stove and the grease drains down into the fire making it even hotter and the bacon gets done quicker. We may not be the best looking providers but dammit we're pretty smart sometimes.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted January 21, 2014 I don't think so. Old Dog was doing something with beer-cans and string, and I think he said something about inter-nets, and that he was going to sell service, but I thought it was a BDSM thing he was doing... Yes OD is a genious. Beer cans and string for the inter-net and Bush pork n bean cans and a string for Tin-eye ...... no more fat bastard picture theft or shilling. no no no Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted February 3, 2014 Ladies I am offering THE experience today. THE HUSBAND EXPERIENCE encounter where you can tell me what to do all day and I will pretend to listen while drinking beer all day sitting on the couch staring at the BBM 50 inch BOOB TUBE. I get your motor going by undoing my belt buckle and letting you catch the sight of my exciting belly which will really get your motor going. After a lunch of bacon sandwiches and stale beer a couch make out session will be offered to get you in the mood for some passionate couch sex. After our couch session is over cuddle time may be offered. As we are avid beer drinkers here at BBM your mileage may vary. Menu options are offered with advance notice. Use of the BBM kitchen is available so that you can cook for me on BBM's modern wood stove. Over nights are possible with advance notice. Please consult with Old Dog for bookings and rates. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted February 3, 2014 Spring is coming and Old Dog is eating bacon again ..... and also loves baked beans......so he personally designed this new setup for our fire pit..... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted February 3, 2014 I want to point out that BBM is using fake pics in their Husband Experience advertising. I went to the lodge, expecting this: But this is what I was greeted with: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted February 3, 2014 I want to point out that BBM is using fake pics in their Husband Experience advertising. I went to the lodge, expecting this: But this is what I was greeted with: You wanted the THE you got it! Get that wood stove heated up and make my dinner woman! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted February 5, 2014 I'm sure all the other members of the FB crew can relate. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted February 5, 2014 I'm sure all the other members of the FB crew can relate. And again, a Seinfeld episode for every occasion RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted February 5, 2014 I have been free boobing for months now. It's soo... soooooooooo.... liberating. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted February 5, 2014 I have been free boobing for months now. It's soo... soooooooooo.... liberating. Yeah it's so Great up here at the Northern Lodge.... we have the right to bare breasts while our neighbours (who can't even spell) to the south only have the right to bear arms! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted February 5, 2014 Times must be tough down there if they have the right to see bare arms and get excited about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted February 9, 2014 RG has gone fishing. But he's been gone a while, and he's not back... Should we send out a search party? Hang on... no. He's fine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jafo105 39057 Report post Posted February 21, 2014 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted February 21, 2014 I got the old truck ready for my Ottawa trip to the BBM Lodge. Any snow there in March? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jafo105 39057 Report post Posted February 21, 2014 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
