Members Choice Poll - Sept 5 2011 - Vote for the ladies here

[capitalman 3861]

Any publicity is good publicity. Who's this Emily girl and when can I see her?

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... what a contribution to the community is vs. a 'contribution' to a particular person in private. ...

 

Semantics and individual cases aside, there are many ways to contribute to any community.

 

In my town, for example, I can donate food to the local food bank. Or I can go next door and visit with my financially-distressed neighbour, chat and have tea, and leave a box of food there. Or do both. In my opinion, both of these acts contribute to the strength and friendliness of my community, and in the end both make my town a better place.

 

On Cerb, I've exchanged many private messages over the years with other individual members. Often my message is "hang in there", when a person has (in my opinion) been treated unfairly in a public thread. Sometimes members just need a sympathetic ear and a place to vent in private. Or word about something that puzzles them, that they don't feel they want to open up about, and expose themselves, in a public thread.

 

Do these PMs of support and encouragement contribute to the Cerb community, even if they're private and just between individuals? I think so. If a member takes heart from a private communication with another member, or something is explained to them diplomatically behind closed doors, this increased spirit and knowledge not only (hopefully) benefits the individual, but, if it is enough to keep the individual's "faith" in Cerb burning, or to help restore their enthusiasm, then the whole of Cerb will eventually benefit and become that much stronger from their public contributions, which might otherwise have been lost.

 

Even the chance to chat privately with a special friend will draw some members to the site, I'm sure. And some of those members will wind up participating in a wider and more public way.

 

Again, I am not commenting on individual cases. A community is in the end made up of individuals, and each individual is a part of the community.

[AndyofHalifax 15339]

I thank Soleil and WIT for their posts. This is a very difficult situation to comment on as emotions can easily run high. I will also attempt to make a comment without offense intended to anyone involved.

 

One of the great features of CERB is that we, as a community, have embraced a culture of positivity. No reviews are allowed, only recommendations. No ratings are permitted, only positive experiences.

 

I say this because, on the whole, the CERB community is a place without judgement. Yet, this one time of year, we are essentially judging each other. It remains in the spirit of positivity, but the result is that we are judging who makes the best contribution to the culture. As WIT outlined, there are many ways to contribute to the community.

 

In an effort to be democratic, the nominations and voting are open to all members of this board. Under those guidelines, there is nothing to stop any member from winning a poll, and it is difficult to say that it is not in the spirit of the rules, when the rules are being followed. If the community as a whole feels the rules need to change, then that is a separate discussion.

 

Lastly, I want to say that I think some anger or frustration has been directed at Erotic Emily. I feel that is unfair. She did not nominate herself, nor did she repeatedly vote for herself, nor did she, to the best of my knowledge, court or encourage anyone to directly vote for her. If you are upset with the results, the "blame", so to speak, falls directly on the voters, not the person they voted for.

 

I wrote this message with a positive mind and I hope it will be received as such. I intend no disrespect nor offense.

[Sensual Erin 33928]

WIT, I'm sticking my neck out here but I respectfully disagree. I've been here since Jan. and am surprised I made it to the nominees. I'm very thankful and humbled but my presence here lies on the integrity, humor and support I have known of this board since I have joined. I'm still not seasoned enough to step up to the plate of a few ladies I know in this poll. If it wasn't for the ladies that participate in the forums, it would have taken me much longer to have my questions answered. Many of the ladies voted here are selfless and help direct both the hobbiests and providers in the right direction. This award should go to the ladies that contribute as a whole in the forums and from what I have experienced, welcome the new ladies in and give their seasoned advice. Emily looks like a great girl. I welcomed her here as a fellow MA and wish her so much success. In time, she will know the other ladies as well and share recommendations and advice. However, what about the ladies who answer a question you may have in the SP, MP, General forum? This is a board where public questions are answered by these members with the experience to help the one's that need advice. That is what this award is about in my eyes, publically and privately. Not everyone privately messages and if someone has a question about a particular request, these members are there to help. I feel this award is earned in time and experience.

 

My last two cents. ; )

 

This is not an award for best service (that is what the recommendations sections are for) this is a award to recognize the service providers who join in the conversations, help answer some questions and give you a little view into the other side of the business!

 

Semantics and individual cases aside, there are many ways to contribute to any community.

 

In my town, for example, I can donate food to the local food bank. Or I can go next door and visit with my financially-distressed neighbour, chat and have tea, and leave a box of food there. Or do both. In my opinion, both of these acts contribute to the strength and friendliness of my community, and in the end both make my town a better place.

 

On Cerb, I've exchanged many private messages over the years with other individual members. Often my message is "hang in there", when a person has (in my opinion) been treated unfairly in a public thread. Sometimes members just need a sympathetic ear and a place to vent in private. Or word about something that puzzles them, that they don't feel they want to open up about, and expose themselves, in a public thread.

 

Do these PMs of support and encouragement contribute to the Cerb community, even if they're private and just between individuals? I think so. If a member takes heart from a private communication with another member, or something is explained to them diplomatically behind closed doors, this increased spirit and knowledge not only (hopefully) benefits the individual, but, if it is enough to keep the individual's "faith" in Cerb burning, or to help restore their enthusiasm, then the whole of Cerb will eventually benefit and become that much stronger from their public contributions, which might otherwise have been lost.

 

Even the chance to chat privately with a special friend will draw some members to the site, I'm sure. And some of those members will wind up participating in wider and more public way.

 

Again, I am not commenting on individual cases. A community is in the end made up of individuals, and each individual is a part of the community.

[Cato 160314]

As one of the people who nominated Emily, I should probably intervene here, though I do so reluctantly, not wanting to stir up more controversy.

 

As WIT's very insightful posts says, there are many ways to contribute to a community, and it's up to the community as a whole to judge what it deems most useful. That's the point of this exercise, after all. It's also a feel-good exercise, to thank and congratulate all the nominees, all of them. It was in that spirit that I originally proposed Emily's name, to acknowledge her spectacular entry into cerb and the positive, galvanizing effect she had had in a very short time, winning approval and friendship from many members, and having a huge network of correspondents. That took time, effort, and caring on her part, communicating with members and establishing the personal rapport which, as it turns out, has given her a substantial number of votes.

I hoped by nominating her that she would win some public acknowledgement for her efforts, recognition as a nominated valued member that was, I thought, merited. She deserves to be among the nominees. Whether she deserves to be poll leader is not for me or any individual other member to decide.

 

Again, this is intended as an activity that strengthens the community, not one that divides it.

 

My thanks to all on the list of nominees. Your contributions, different as they are, are what makes cerb a valued community.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

It is sad to see this thread and voting going this way but we are all human with our own opinions and views. This award is suppose to be something positive and go to someone who deserves it and there are so many that do. This is not high school or a popularity contest. It's an award given to a Service Provider who does exactly what the statement below says. Best of luck to all that have been nominated!!

 

Just my thoughts and views on this situation.

 

This is not an award for best service (that is what the recommendations sections are for) this is a award to recognize the service providers who join in the conversations, help answer some questions and give you a little view into the other side of the business!

 

Additional comments:

 

My post was about how negative this thread has become and not about any single person, that just not my style and then to be singled out for what the award is about when I was not the only one to post it and my whole wording on it being sad to see how this thread and voting is going and my positive words were left out. That is fine because I'm a very positive and kind person and was not saying anything mean or wrong. It was an attempt to say stop the negativity and just get on with it. I still stand by my words that "This is not high school or a popularity contest", it's suppose to be a positive thing and award. So best of luck to all!!

 

Positive and Big Hugs All Around,

Lexy

[Cato 160314]

 

This is not an award for best service (that is what the recommendations sections are for) this is a award to recognize the service providers who join in the conversations, help answer some questions and give you a little view into the other side of the business!

 

 

I think we should agree that all of the nominees do this in one way or another. Let's leave this now to the voters, please.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Each person is free to nominate and vote for any member that they feel contributes to the board. For any board-related reason. Each voter will inevitably have their own conceptions and standards. Of course, they will differ from each other - but that doesn't make one person's standards and preferences right ... and the other person 's wrong. Cerb is a complex and many-layered community. Each of us has our own perspective on it, and each one of those perspectives is a limited one.

 

As to this specific awards poll:

 

On the nomination thread, you will see that I nominated a lady who I felt was deserving of the award. I did not criticize others' nominations.

 

Now let's finally speak plainly about what's really going on, shall we? In the nomination thread, the spirit of positivity was sabotaged. There was one lady who was specifically targeted and publicly criticized for not being worthy of nomination. This lady is now doing very well in the poll. There is a message being sent by voters. And that message, I would guess, is: "on Cerb, we support the victims of (perceived) bullying - not the (perceived) bullies".

 

Will I be unhappy if the lady I personally feel contributes the most to my experience of Cerb doesn't win? Of course I will. Will I complain if she doesn't? Of course I won't. I respect others' opinions and their varying experience of Cerb.

 

And if one specific lady who was the subject of public criticism on the nomination thread wins, I'll know why. Because her detractors, by virtue of having publicly attacked her, have themselves made her into a symbol. And symbols can be powerful and worthwhile things that people will rally around.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

We are not bullies and I find that comment offensive. We are women who are not afraid of speaking up our minds and who care enough about this community to not want the essence that has today to change. We want cerb to remain the characteristics that make it the succesful site it is and we want the people who will 'represent' it (valued members) to have those characteristics which is why Nicki invited Emily to show that side of her.

 

We have nothing against Emily we just don't want the site to go in a different direction where a good marketing, good looks and good service is all that matters. I know I'm speaking 'we' here because that's what I sense from the other ladies too but girls feel free to correct me and I will make it an 'I' :)

[Rachelle Reigns 4828]

I don't think any of the posts where made to "bully" anyone. The way I perceive it is that Soliel is simply posting her opinion. I know her well and she is as far from someone that would bully albeit thru a post as anyone could be. I'm proud of her for posting what I think many girls where thinking. Does that mean feeling this way is right or wrong I don't know. But if people cannot politely post their opinions then the point of Cerb is lost.

 

Cato and Wit have gotten me thinking....I'm nominated and I think it's more from my helping girls behind the scenes or in the lounge rather then a high post count.

 

We are all nominated for various reasons and from what Cato has said clearly she has touched members behind the scenes since joining, perhaps like I have with ( or think I have lol) I'm thankful to Cato for speaking up as we would not have known this otherwise.

 

Good luck to everyone!

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

I respectfully hear and understand all sides to this debate and believe me when I say I truly didn't want to start a shit storm. I love being a part of the community here and I did not want to alienate myself as someone who sounds like she's got sour grapes towards Emily. Not at all. I know I won't win, I don't deserve to. My contributions haven't come close to others who have been nominated, but the fact I was nominated tickled me pink all over anyway! And I sincerely wish Emily the very best and applaud her for her time and effort towards those who have communicated with her. I just wanted to clear the air and I mean no disrespect whatsoever to Cato for nominating Emily, and certainly not to poor Emily for being thrown into the middle of this. I really do apologize to you Emily. I realize you did not ask for all this controversy to be surrounding your nomination. But as someone already said, any publicity is good publicity! Perhaps this has all gotten too serious. Anyway, I still stand by my own opinion, but I have a much better understanding of the opposing side and have to agree on many points. In the end, may the best and most valuable SP cerb member win! That's it from me. :)

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I don't think any of the posts where made to "bully" anyone. ...

 

I agree, of course they weren't. That's why I said "(perceived) bullying". I'm explaining why the votes were made - because of the perceptions of the voters - of their perception of bullying. On the nomination thread, not on this thread. It remains to be seen how voters will react to what has now been posted on this thread.

 

I apologize if anyone finds the word "bullying" offensive. Perhaps it would be more accurate to call it "breaching etiquette by criticizing a nominee, and thereby turning what is designed to be a wholly positive experience (being acknowledged for having enriched another member's experience on Cerb) into a negative experience for the nominee in question."

[Sensual Erin 33928]

I have read through this entire thread and see no anger or hostility from the ladies? I'm commenting on a reputation points comment made. I have seen the facts though. I feel terrible this has happened again. What has happened to us all as a positive community? WIT brings up a good point.

 

Perceived:

to recognize, discern, envision, or understand:

 

This vote is not to be argued over or become angry over. I haven't seen any hostility here. Perhaps it should have been written in the guidelines that the award go to who the members vote for with no prerequisites? That is what I take from this debate. Again, perception, and again this thread is taking on a whole new direction than it's original intent. This isn't fun guys and I see the impact it has made in general on this entire board.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

From what I see, there is no stipulation on how long an SP should be an sp here on the board before she is nominated for the award( other than 10 posts??) It is about involvement, which I would think it should be publicly. It is the impact we have to be a positive influence and a safety net for each other as well. Through sound advice, or cheering someone up what have you.

I can see, from the little I know on Emily, that she must have made a wonderful entrance to us here on cerb, even being a new member, she defiantly has our attention. She seems to be bright, well spoken, kind and that is a good representation of our community here. I do hope to see more involvement to have a better sense into her beautiful mind. however, for her to have been nominated, that would suggest to me that she has these great qualities that would deserve such an award, otherwise people would have not nominated her.....as for the votes as well. The math speaks for itself here.

Admitingly....for those who have spent so much effort in publicly being involved, perhaps it may sting just a bit, but you know....at least you made a difference here! Our efforts are not lost if we have helped someone through tough times, or to help them learn etc...

I am so thankful for all the members here for what I have learned form each of you!

[ripleymonroe 794]

Here's my take on it as a new member to CERB. When I first started out posting in the forums or in private convos, I noticed the Member's Choice graphic next to some of them. Without having any idea what that meant, I assumed that these women had won some sort of award for being highly respected by CERB members. It was natural for me to assume that I could trust them more or that they were veterans here on CERB.

 

Now that I'm seeing what's happening here, I'm thinking that the guys are shooting themselves in the foot. New members won't know that someone has been voted in because of private participation or because they somehow got some publicity through discussions like this. They'll likely be like me and see that badge as evidence that this person has garnered the trust and respect of members through long-term community-building.

 

I would personally prefer to see this kind of award going to someone who engages the community publicly rather than privately. Otherwise, it's no longer a community - it's email.

[AndyofHalifax 15339]

I have read through this entire thread and see no anger or hostility from the ladies?

 

I made a similar comment in my earlier post, so I will explain my thoughts. Starting with the nomination thread, there have been several posts questioning whether Erotic Emily was qualified to be nominated or voted upon.

 

The perception in several posts seems to be that Emily's nomination and votes are based off her marketing, looks and popularity and that to win the award she should contribute more in the main forum.

 

Not that she had to defend herself, but this post from the nomination thread outlines what Erotic Emily feels her contributions are:

 

I know I may not have been on and in the cerb community for long, and my contributions may not be public, but i spend hours upon hours every single day speaking to so many amazing curious people. Men and Women, whether it be to come see me, ask questions and the more the better, or to communicate back and forth with people i would never have had the pleasure of having a cerb-ship with I am not at in the least bit asking for this nomination, just want to clarify that although my contributions cant be seen by EVERYONE, I take the the time to reply to and get to know absolutely everyone, 1 person at a time. I give everyone an equal part of me. I am sure someone else will graciously accept this award, but i am forever grateful to Cato for thinking I was worthy and deserving enough....even for a split second! Thank you, xoxoxoxo

 

So my perception when writing that statement was that Emily does contribute to this community in more ways than simply her marketing, pictures and service and that those claiming otherwise are perhaps being, at the very least, unfair. The simple fact is that we don't know why any member voted for anyone else and to claim otherwise is unjust.

 

Hopefully this thread will serve to clear unresolved tension, rather than create negativity. That is my perception (tricky word) of the majority of these posts, and I'm glad this forum allows for such an open conversation.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

I congratulate all nominees, and I really hope the award goes to the most deserving woman.

 

But this is all so very confusing.

 

When reading the qualifications for a nomination it said must have made public contribution..to me that means that they participate in conversations, be it a legal discussion, starting a thread about anything...or even simply adding their favourite song to that specific thread.

 

I dont think we are out to bully anyone, I am sure we're all adults here expressing our feelings on something that we have worked for.....

And in no way am I about put down a lady who will find, that it takes much harder work to make it here than to discuss things in private...Things are learned over time, but discussions in private are not public contribution.

Miss Erotic Emily, please do not take my words in a bad way, I am never out to bash anyone person in particular. I understand we have all been "new" here and I wish you nothing but the best. Its good that you will start contributing, let us all learn more about you here in our community!

 

My frustration comes solely from not understanding the way that this poll works.

 

I have been here one year, and I have worked my ass off participating. I've been starting threads with what I think my fellow cerbites would find interesting, commented on the threads I could relate to, to give advice when I thought I could and I have even opened myself up completely on here to allow you all into my personal mind. Things that are very personal. After reading up on Miss EE I have learned barely anything about you....albeit your glowing reccos. (Good job btw!)

 

Which is why I am confused I guess. I dont think anyone was targeted for anything, a misunderstanding of guidelines yes.* correct me if I am wrong please.

We who have been here for more than a year have been working hard, very hard to keep our business going, to keep our gentlemen friends happy..there will always be a new lady to come in and inspire great attention, that is something that will always happen, but in fairness, how do you expect us to feel? Those of us that have been working this hard on the board? Is this not what keeps the board going?

 

Please everyone do not take offense...I am only voicing my own personal opinion here, which is one of the many reasons why I love CERB! The freedom to do so. I am not trying to be negative either, rather I am trying to understand the rules and regulations of this "contest?" I do read the rules regularly but maybe I missed something?

[LeeRichards 177238]

Okay I am taking a little break. Quite a bit of reading here since I went to work !!! Many valid points by many great Cerb members and everyone that has read this thread I hope has learned something from this. As one of the members said, I think Pete, it makes this community stronger. Now I think it is time for everyone to just ponder this and move on to the vote and the fun part of this annual event. For the sake of the beautiful lady that is going to eventually win this well deserved honor....:)

 

 

 

This guy is smart ;)

 

George Bush once said "a low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls" deep thought George !

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... in fairness, how do you expect us to feel? ...

 

Angel! You've received the fifth highest number of votes so far!

 

The intent of this award nominating-and-voting is to recognize those who have made special contributions to Cerb, as appreciated by their peers.

 

This is not a case of having one winner and ... everyone else should feel bad for being a loser! There are not supposed to be any losers in this process. You're supposed to feel good that other members feel that your contributions are worthy of particular recognition!

 

We're all supposed to be making each other feel good. Otherwise, this process has no point. Everyone's supposed to consider themselves a winner just to be on the poll - let alone having the fifth highest support so far!

[Claire Heavens 51771]

To be honest, I am mortified with this whole thing. I understand most peoples views and opinions, but really, does there need to be this much discussion regarding my relevance here? Do I need to ask to be removed from the poll? I apologize to the voters out there who have voted for me and are being penalized for doing so. somebody said "this is not high school....." yet, it sure is starting to look that way. I am at a loss for words with this one. But I do want to thank everyone for repeatedly saying my name! Keeping saying it! Erotic Emily. Not bad for 6 weeks of learning on here, but I do spend more hours on cerb then anything else in my life. I will keep doing what I do, it makes me happy and those in contact with me happy. Have a sexxxy September! xoxoxoxo

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

Oh my goodness! I did not mean it like that everyone! Sorry...I feel like I have sounded unappreciative now...

 

I feel like a winner on a daily basis my dear WIT! Just having someone take the time to nominate or vote for me means I am a winner because they thought of me! And really, I am undeserving of so many votes...humbled and flattered that I have gotten so many! But there are many more deserving than I.

 

But it has nothing to do with that hun, I just read through all the posts here on this thread and am confused that is all, I just know alot of us work hard and this is an award of recognizing that work...correct?

 

And you are right about not having ONE winner...we are all winners here IMO! And now I feel like an A-hole for saying anything......

 

 

 

Angel! You've received the fifth highest number of votes so far!

 

The intent of this award nominating-and-voting is to recognize those who have made special contributions to Cerb, as appreciated by their peers.

 

This is not a case of having one winner and ... everyone else should feel bad for being a loser! There are not supposed to be any losers in this process. You're supposed to feel good that other members feel that your contributions are worthy of particular recognition!

 

You're supposed to feel good. Otherwise the're not point in the process. Everyone's supposed to be a winner just to be on the poll - let alone having the fifth highest support so far!

[ripleymonroe 794]

Guys, it's all pretty clear...

 

The award rules mention that this is "a recognition award for the ladies who take time to participate and contribute in the forums and chat areas."

 

Forums and chat are both public areas. This isn't about community-building anywhere else.

 

Clearly, what's happening here is a problem with the members not bothering to vote for the SP who fits the description of who this award is meant to honour (based on the award description itself).

 

I was going to recommend that the mods make the rules a bit more clear, but now that I've read that line, it's clear as day!

 

Additional Comments:

To be honest, I am mortified with this whole thing. I understand most peoples views and opinions, but really, does there need to be this much discussion regarding my relevance here? Do I need to ask to be removed from the poll? I apologize to the voters out there who have voted for me and are being penalized for doing so. somebody said "this is not high school....." yet, it sure is starting to look that way. I am at a loss for words with this one. But I do want to thank everyone for repeatedly saying my name! Keeping saying it! Erotic Emily. Not bad for 6 weeks of learning on here, but I do spend more hours on cerb then anything else in my life. I will keep doing what I do, it makes me happy and those in contact with me happy. Have a sexxxy September! xoxoxoxo

 

No no, it's got nothing to do with you. :)

 

Honestly, it looks like it's just a misinterpretation of what qualifies a person for the award. The guys likely really appreciate your private contributions but the issue at hand is that award is meant for public participation. But in the end, who knows. Maybe it's a clear indicator that the members want private contributions included in this.

 

So in a way, this is a good thing - it's either an evolution or it will require clarification for the next one.

[Guest E*******h S******s]

My goodness, for a group of people who have stated in one form or another over the time they've been here that they didn't want an "us again them" mentality on the board, that's certainly what has transpired now.

 

And there are three women caught in the middle of it.

 

One woman is running a successful business and has garnered much positive attention from the gentlemen of the board. How she does it has been somewhat of a bone of contention with some of the ladies here. Personally, how somebody runs their business IS their business, not mine. Whether or not she is a positive contributor to CERB during her 6 weeks here, I don't know, nor do any of the rest of the ladies as her contributions are pretty much aimed solely at the men here (hence the successful business!). Nothing wrong with that.

 

Another woman has worked tirelessly to bring the men and ladies together in a social setting while posting and starting many, many positive threads for ALL to enjoy. However, because she was vocal in her opinion as to how the aforementioned young lady is running her business, those (in my estimation, very major) contributions are being ignored. It's a wrist slap.

 

A third woman has consistently shown her intelligence, insight, wit and kindness in the myriad of hours that she has taken with her meticulously well-written posts. Again, for ALL to enjoy.

 

The gentlemen who have come to the aid of the damsel in distress as it were, have made their point to the detriment of the board in general. While I completely understand the angst with which some of the ladies have posted, I believe that by voicing their upset before the vote is completed is merely entrenching "the other side" in their viewpoint. Again, to the detriment of the board in general.

 

For those who would like to paint the upset that the ladies are showing as "sour grapes" or "bitchiness", nothing could be further from the truth. Its about being fair. What is going on in this poll is not fair. Hence the upset.

 

Peace out.

[Alexandra-Sky 12606]

As a side note:

 

my math tells me that 142 votes have been cast,but there have been 2,178 views of this thread! woah!

 

i wonder how many more will vote!

 

(also, i mainly just wanted to comment on this thread so i could subscribe and see when there have been new posts! lol)

[Guest S**a*Q]

HAPPY SHINY HIJACK!

 

Where are all the smiles...?

SMQ can make people smile, in more ways than one. ;)