Stalker or dependent personalities

[Jabba 18389]

Had a buddy ask if he could camp-out at my place. Yeah, no problem I say - anytime, but wtf - you got your own place.

 

Then he drops the other shoe. He had recently broke off a relationship with his GF and now she's showing up on his doorstep unannounced, telephone calls, gifts, offering the most incredible, ultimate sexual favours (I'm serious here), etc. Now, having met her, let's just say the girl was...different.

 

Do you think manipulative is the operative word here, or should he just should have given in and let it all get out of crazy control - the answer is not as obvious as you might think.

 

How would you deal with this?

[bcguy42 38594]

Had a buddy ask if he could camp-out at my place. Yeah, no problem I say - anytime, but wtf - you got your own place.

 

Then he drops the other shoe. He had recently broke off a relationship with his GF and now she's showing up on his doorstep unannounced, telephone calls, gifts, offering the most incredible, ultimate sexual favours (I'm serious here), etc. Now, having met her, let's just say the girl was...different.

 

Do you think manipulative is the operative word here, or should he just should have given in and let it all get out of crazy control - the answer is not as obvious as you might think.

 

How would you deal with this?

 

A complete response would require a whole lot more information that has been provided. But hey - when has not having all the facts ever stopped anyone from rendering an opinion?

 

Based on the given information, manipulative sounds like a good description. Desperate and perhaps listening just a bit too much to the voices in her head are a couple of other options, too.

 

Were I in his position, assuming I intended to make the breakup permanent, I would take a pass on the offered goodies. The implied price tag is too high. Wandering back into that pasture would require restarting the whole relationship termination process.

 

On the other hand, maybe your friend enjoys wild and crazy in which case sure, dive right back in. But if he decides to end it again, he should avoid food and drink prepared by her.

 

my two bits ...

[Guest E*******h S******s]

I would suggest he put her on permanent ignore. My brother in law was caught up in this situation a number of years ago. He tried to be kind when he extricated himself and she did the same thing with respect to offering up kinky sexual favours. His little head prevailed and he found himself in bed. She tried to get him to forgo the condom. He went to get one out of his wallet and before he could, she pulled one out of her purse. Fortunately, he noticed the pinholes in the condom as he was putting it on. Big head kicked in and he got himself out of there.

 

He ended up having to get a restraining order after about 400 hang up calls and his car getting keyed.

 

Stalkers are unstable, dangerous people irrespective as to their gender. Tell your friend to document everything now in case the restraining order becomes necessary. He'll need the proof.

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

I agree with Elizabeth 100%.

 

If he wants the relationship to be over, then he has to stick with that no matter how wonderful the offers of kinky sex and other things may be. Remind him that he can get all of that elsewhere without the problems he's getting from this woman.

 

I hope your friend has told the woman as clearly as possible that he doesn't want to have any contact with her. If he has, what she's doing qualifies as criminal harassment. If she's also keeping track of his whereabouts, sitting outside his house, following him, etc., that's called "besetting," and it, too, is illegal.

 

He should write down everything that's happened and keep track of every phone call, e-mail, text, mail and gift she sends him. He shouldn't hesitate to contact the police. They can be very helpful.

[qwertyaccount 15793]

I remember seeing a movie similar to this, but I can't think of the title, but I do remember that it didn't turn out to well for the guy.

[volvolater 657]

quote=qwertyaccount;263370]I remember seeing a movie similar to this, but I can't think of the title, but I do remember that it didn't turn out to well for the guy.

 

Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas and Meryl Streep??

[roamingguy 300292]

Nothing scarier than a unstable woman fixated on you

My advice, contact the police and get a restraining order

Change your phone number and get it unlisted

If she has keys to your place, change the locks

I fortunately because of unique circumstances, didn't require the police or r/o

A letter from my lawyer was sent to her, and gist of it was that certain things in her life she wished to keep private would become public when brought out in court, unless she stopped all contact with me...she never contacted me after the letter was sent, best $200 hour I spent

RG

[Andee 220524]

quote=qwertyaccount;263370]I remember seeing a movie similar to this, but I can't think of the title, but I do remember that it didn't turn out to well for the guy.

 

Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas and Meryl Streep??

 

It was Glenn Close, not Meryl Streep!

[LeeRichards 177238]

I agree with Elizabeth 100%.

 

He should write down everything that's happened and keep track of every phone call, e-mail, text, mail and gift she sends him. He shouldn't hesitate to contact the police. They can be very helpful.

 

Your comments are all excellent Samantha !! and Documentation is huge ! Everything and anything. Pics too if u have any. Also keep them at the office or where she/he can't get at it. I just helped a close long time girl friend of mine through this. Shitty deal for sure :(

[Guest f***2f***]

Advise for your friend.....RUN AWAY!!!!!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Silence is golden... they will eventually give up but do proceed with caution. If all else fails, tell your friend to get a restraining and keep documented proof/dates/times that she has harassed/stalked him.