If They Only Knew

[Guest f***2f***]

I didn't know what to call this thread but maybe some of you have had these kind of things happen to you and would like to share also.

 

As a hobbiest I call it, "If they only knew"

 

I'm sitting in a meeting with our HR people today. It's early morning and I'm sipping my coffee and eating my muffin and trying to listen to the usual barage of bs while sipping my coffee. I'm thinking of the f ucking awesome duo I had Friday afternoon when the subject turns to hiring/recruiting of more women into our organization cause we haven't got a gender balance.

 

One of my buddy's (who knows i have an eye for every good looking woman who passes within 2 miles but has no clue about my secret hobby) says as I'm taking a sip of coffee,

 

"Oh Boner do you know any good women we could hire?"

 

I coughed, spluttered, choked, turned blue and thought they would have to perform the Heimlich manoevre on me to help me breathe again.

 

F ucking asshole!!!

 

If they only knew!!!!

[capitalman 3861]

I do know: I was in that meeting! You dirty rotten scoundrel Boner!! You're fired! :)

[kih 458]

LOL, too funny. I have to agree if peers only knew...of the fine women that graced Ottawa!

[Seymour 3970]

I have one buddy at work that also hobbies - when we do speak at work regarding the hobby we are careful to speak in tongues ...

[capitalman 3861]

Eebben, gleeben, globben, glowbben...wow!! Right on!

[Guest f***2f***]

Have another funny to share...this time it was a case of she caught on.

 

Took the wife to Moxies today in the Bayshore Shopping Center. always like that chain out west and so did she. anyway we go for lunch and the watiresses in there are drop dead gorgeous...between 18 and 25, curvy, low cut blouses and some of them short mini skirts and black boots.....I had to surreptiously check them out cause my wife is with me.

 

Anyway I ordered a rack of ribs and I'm munching them and checking a particularily busty waitress when the wife says "Nice rack?" (she was refering to my meal)

 

Well I started fucking choking on my food and she of course caught on why.

"You're such a pig!" she says. I protest that I'm innocent but she is giving me the evil eye.

 

Had to cool it after that but I kept smiling and teasing our waitress who was a cute little blond called Cindy....at one point she asked if I wanted dessert and i said no...she smiled sexily at me and says..."not even a little tart?"

I smiled back at her and said "Oh you little temptress you!" she blushed and looked at my wife to see if she offended her but by now she was resigned to the fact that her husband was having more fun than should be allowed. :mrgreen:

[d*mm*y 887]

Ya our wives now we are pervs for sure, it's when it is a little close to home! Wife was doing laundry the other day and found a receipt that was rather incriminating have been dancing ever since ouch.

[Akhenaton 221]

LOL, that was a good one boner.

 

I had one where a neighbour invited some "friends" over for a party, turns out 2 of them where sp's I knew (and had been with), so I said hi when adressed and we chatted a bit, then the neighbour says to me (in confidence...) you know the blond one is pretty shy (sp) and I think people are hitting on her pretty hard, I said a well, you know, then went inside and laughed my ass off...

 

If they only knew (he still doesn't, lol)

[Seymour 3970]

Ha - you talk about dancing and tip toeing Dummpy. Years ago I was having dinner with some male friends at a patio in the Byward market and the group that got seated right across from me included an SP I was seeing at the time. (She's since moved to Florida). We of course recognized each other and acknowledged each other but did not blow each other's 'cover'.

 

But the guys at my table kept commenting about her boobs (nice set of man mades) and how good it must feel to go to bed with those every night. I could not help but laugh inside - when I saw her on my next visit, we had a damn good laugh about the whole thing. She knew she was being checked out. :boobies:

[VedaSloan 119179]

Boner, man, SUBTLETY. It goes a long way. Hahaha.

[tangoman 100]

At the company I worked for about 10 years ago, I had an SP come to my office after hours. We had two hours together on the conference room table. Every time I was in a meeting in that room I would daydream about that time. It still gets me hard thinking about it. While I daydreaming, I'm looking at the others at the table thinking "If they only knew":shock::shock::shock::shock:

[Seymour 3970]

At the company I worked for about 10 years ago, I had an SP come to my office after hours. We had two hours together on the conference room table. Every time I was in a meeting in that room I would daydream about that time. It still gets me hard thinking about it. While I daydreaming, I'm looking at the others at the table thinking "If they only knew":shock::shock::shock::shock:

 

Sounds like a swell time. In today's world with security cameras in a lot of places, this might cramp your style.

[TrueSwitch 100]

I took a few years off to explore other interests. I was a manager in a large corporation / business. The employees under me would sometimes get mad with my no-bull approach when they were being less than exemplary employees and would make the whipping sound.

 

I and the few there who knew would simply smile and quietly state, "If they only knew." laughs. Life is a funny place.

[Guest J**ck*9]

Quite a number of years ago, I used to see an MA as a regular. She was incredibly beautiful and we got along fabulously. A couple of years later when at an office meeting, a woman we just hired comes into the meeting room and who do I see? ... My MA.... WTF!!!! ...... Or so I thought .... She didn't pay much attention to me during the meeting so I'm thinking that she's being discreet and professional about our outside arrangement. At break, I approach her and say "Hi Sandy (not her real name)... Nice to see you again, I didn't know you had a background in IT". Sandy gives me a confused look which lasted about 10 seconds when she starts to grin as she says "haha ... You must know my twin sister Tammy (not her real name), we're identical twins... Lol. How do you know Tammy?". My heart jumped into my throat as I quickly came up with a bogus story.

 

After I came down from my near heart attack, I said to myself "If she only knew"

[WhereIRoam 21825]

Going back a number of years on this one.

I once co-owned small store on the market, was recently single and just getting into the hobby.

 

Decided to call "Geisha Girls" (think that was the name) one night, asked them to send someone over for an hour. Beautiful young woman comes in, smiles and gives me a knowing look, really friendly with me almost like we knew each other or something. I offer her a drink, we chat a little and she asks me a couple questions that are right up my alley. I'm thinking, "Wow. This woman is amazing." We do our thing, afterwards I mention I had a great time and would like to see her again. As she walks by me heading towards the bathroom she responds by smiling at me and again gives me a knowing look. I'm oblivious at this point but something about the looks she's giving me seemed a little odd. Coming out of the bathroom she calls me by my name and tells me she has seen me at the store a few times as well as at a few events, I was shocked. She then tells me who her BF is and right away I start piecing things together. Small world!

 

Anyways, over the next year or two we continued spending time together. One time at an event I walked by her boyfriend, he stops me to say Hi and introduces me to his GF. Her and I look at each other only this time we both smiled and gave each other that knowing look. :)