ulixestrojan 3757 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 I was recently having a conversation with a friend who used to work as a SP and MA. We got on to the topic of what do you do when you are just having a bad day/week/month. How difficult is it to fake it? To pretend to be "in the moment" but you are just not into it. Does this run in cycles? What if a client calls you out on it? How do you respond? Your responses are most appreciated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 Not sure if this question is open to the guys or not but if it is I have always found a cigar calms my nerves and relaxes me. My brand of choice by the way. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capital Hunter 18263 Report post Posted September 20, 2011 I would think that it would be very difficult to pretent an SP is into it when she is not unless good acting is part of her profession. Like Steve I am not sure if your question is open to guys but for me calling for an SP or two resolves the problem best or going to strip bars and flirt with a few ladies especially those OI have established emotions but I can see this option is not likely open to an SP. Likely for an SP spending time with close friends may be the solution. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ulixestrojan 3757 Report post Posted September 21, 2011 I suppose this is a touchy subject. No one really wants to say, I prefer to just play with myself, or I prefer women to men, or I just want a pet (apologies Madison...not your pet services, yum) but need the money. I got a txt today on this post saying pretty much this. I guess we all have bad days and just have to suck it up when this happens (pun not intended). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted September 21, 2011 To me, it's just like any other job. If you're a waitress you still have to put your personal life behind you and smile. For me, if I need time off I take it. Self care is very important. I'm very fortunate that massage allows me the flexibility to take time off whenever I want. On the other hand, sometimes if you're going through a rough time, it's good to keep busy and I enjoy escaping into my massage world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted September 21, 2011 Usually if one is having a bad day in real time, having a happy client come by brightens the mood for sure. Or sometimes just having someone else come by who is not in the best of health or having a much harder time, or maybe they are just always upbeat and optimistic. All these things, even just interacting with someone else and human contact helps elevates your own moods. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 We all have bad days and sometimes we can't afford to take time off, so we put on our best face and get on with it. Like everyone else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 I find that if I've had a bad week of weird or rude clients (hasn't happened in a while but anyway) I dig up some of the nice letters or cards I've received from the nice clients I've seen in the past...always brightens my day. Like many of the gals have said its like any other job, we smile and move on or find little ways to get through it. Thats not to say in major cases we wouldn't go through with a date or reschedule. I had the unfortunate issue of finding out one evening that a friend had passed away and then the next morning finding out a family member had passed...then had to do a 2-hour call.....never again! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 I agree that in any line of work there will be moments, days or weeks where it just isn't feeling like it should. When I find myself off, I try and identify what the issue is and how to correct it. Usually it is my headspace that is at fault. It doesn't matter usually if a client was curt or abrasive, someones behaviors does not have the power to change my mood unless I choose to let it. If I'm not having a good day, it's me and thats where the adjustments need to be made. I have a standard set of rituals that I use to get myself refocused and if I have a guest coming in, he becomes part of that. A bath with candles and bubbles is a great start, or a shared shower will suffice. Then massages with lots of attention paid to certain areas moves things along. By the time the massages are over, my head is right there in the moment and the play time will be exactly what it should be. Problem solved. If I am not working, the same ritual is performed but I arrange to have a masseuse come in for me. It seems to do the trick and gets me back to where I need to be. cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 As Frank Barone would say "suck it up Nancy" We all have good days and bad days and this profession is no different. I would not take out my bad mood on my office co-workers so why should this be any different? A smiling face, a tender touch, a sweet kiss and I am truly smiling and having fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyra.Graves 23779 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 I'm a lot like Cat in that I need to find ways to alter my mood, just trying to push through it doesn't work for me as I tend to be very emotive and I don't hide those feelings easily. The main difference I find between this line of work and others is that no one really expects a 24/7 professional demeanour from me, yes they expect professionalism but unlike walking into a boardroom where I am expected to be rather detached from the client, here most of my clients appreciate that I am not so detached and aloof, when I am battered and bruised it's reality and an authentic moment that we share. I don't have a one size fits all solution but that's no different to the everyday challenges whether I have a date or not. Sometimes I will go to a pilates class before a date, it clears my mind and helps me feel a little more balanced (no pun intended). At other times I will relax with a glass of wine and some music. If I have a date and I've had a bad day I'll usually give myself a bit of extra time to get ready, I don't see all that many new people and those that I see regularly tend to know me quite well so I will generally tell them if I've had a challenging day/week. As an example I recently lost someone close to me and I had a date scheduled for just a few days after, I contacted my date and let them know what was going on and that I wasn't quite myself and instead of cancelling he suggested we still meet. As the hours approached I found myself still feeling uneasy, just a bit emotional so I messaged him and suggested we meet at a restaurant instead to which he agreed. We sat for a drink and a meal, talked about everything and nothing of importance and it really brought that sense of normalcy that I had been missing. I picked up the tab for dinner (much to his dismay) as it was my insistence we go out and when we went back to my hotel we had a wonderful time together, in my opinion it was one of our best evenings in years. I guess for me it's not about hiding who you are and how you feel but instead showing your humanity and vulnerability and allowing someone in even if it's only temporary. As far as long term coping with work and the issues that arise I think the biggest difference between this and the stresses one would face at any other workplace is that you don't always have a soundboard and that outlet is important. I think for ones long term health you need to find at least one person that you trust that you can open up to, bounce ideas off and talk to about your highs and lows and listen to theirs. It helps to know you aren't the only person out there facing these issues. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
