Emma Alexandra 123367 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 A very good friend of mine was dating this very very wealthy lady. They were together a couple of years. He broke up with her and she asked if he would donate his sperm as she wanted a baby. He did...she now has a baby boy. She had tried this many many times and was unable to get pregnant until his sperm was inserted {not the old fashioned way}. Now she's looking for money...big money, big big money because as i said she is very wealthy. I don't think he owes her anything as the main word here is "donated". He doesn't see the baby either. He has thought about getting back with her but is afraid he would be doing it for the wrong reasons. He's a good guy who is always trying to do the right thing. He seems to always be taken advantage of by women. anyway what do you think ? should he pay her what she wants? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 This should have been sorted out well before she got pregnant. Did he not sign a paper at his donation terminating all parental rights (and responsibilities)?? I'd suggest he get in contact with a lawyer ASAP. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 I'd say nothing good can come from getting back together with her. I'm with Megan. He needs to get himself lawyered up. Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyofHalifax 15339 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 Now she's looking for money...big money, big big money because as i said she is very wealthy. She sounds like a whole pile of trouble. If she's so wealthy, why is she trying to get money from him? I agree that it wasn't very forward thinking if they didn't sort out any liability beforehand, but if that's the case, I agree with everyone else and he needs to contact a lawyer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 This isn't about money, it's about control. She probably realized that raising a kid on her own is not what it was cracked up to be. And if she was so wealthy Why is she asking for money from him? And if she has money, why not hire some help if it was too much to handle? Papers should have been signed from the getgo and it could have been an elaborate scheme on her part to get him back. It's not about the money.. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123367 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 I don't think it's about the money either...as i told him I think she wants him...he said he signed papers but didn't read them...he should have known better. She has more money then God so i do think it's a control thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214123 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 I think the jury in this case will be on his side since it was not done the normal(natural and best way for me) way. She is the one who asked for it not him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Touch 57501 Report post Posted September 22, 2011 Obviously this is an important personal issue for the individuals involved. But if you don't mind a bit of a tangent, I will mention that there is a recent Quebec movie on this topic of being a sperm donor called "Starbuck"; it is a sort of comedy but it has its serious side as well -- rather like some of Bill Murray's later 'comedies' that are decidedly existential! Touch 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zoe Zee 13876 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 She has more money then God.... Does she need a nanny??? heehee 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Remind me to go get snipped! So she has lots of money and she's still going after him for money? It's a control thing then....she wants to exert her dominance over him and say "Hey, I'm here with your baby and you need to be here too!" Either that or she's just a nut job. He should sue her for defamation of character or something....say she stole his sperm without knowing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icebreaker 3938 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 This thread reminded me of magazine article I read a few years ago. A man who as a college student at the time had made some deposits to a sperm bank (which I believe they do in the states). Fast forward 20 some odd years the man (now married with a family of his own) recieved a phone call from a 20 year old girl who was the child born from the artificial incemnation. She was not looking for money but rather to establish a relationship with her bio-daddy (her mother had recently passed away). In the US access to records can vary from state to state (and the young lady was quite industrious) which always opens the door to a child popping up. Although no money issues were involved the article detailed the uneasy feelings from the man's wife and daughters about this mystery daughter's appearance. This story ties into the current thread as an other scenario that shows how carefully you have to consider the repercussions of sperm donation. There are 2 parents and a child that will in some way potentially tied together for life and much thought and consideration needs to go onto such a decision. Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Interesting Icebreaker. I will be as short as I can here......true story. One day I went to eat lunch in a food court and it was so busy there was no place to sit, except opposite a middle aged woman. I asked if I may sit down opposite her to eat quickly as the place was very busy. She obliged. As I ate I noticed her crying a little bit. I asked her if she was okay. She began to tell me of how she gave her baby up for adoption 23 years earlier and the daughter had looked her up and she had just had a meeting with her that day. The daughter was mad at her and couldn't understand why her mother had given her up. Apparently the daughter had a rough life and blamed the biological mother. This woman felt so much guilt and remorse all these years and now it was compounded by a daughter that was mad at her. I was floored...I didn't know what to say. I just listened and told her it was okay. When she was done I looked into her eyes and just said it was okay, that what she did was the right choice then and it was okay now. She apologized for dumping all this on me and I reassured her it was okay, and that sometimes a stranger is the best person to talk to. I had to get back to work so I got up and gave the woman a hug and wished her good luck and left. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest tr*****e Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Interesting Icebreaker. I will be as short as I can here......true story. One day I went to eat lunch in a food court and it was so busy there was no place to sit, except opposite a middle aged woman. I asked if I may sit down opposite her to eat quickly as the place was very busy. She obliged. As I ate I noticed her crying a little bit. I asked her if she was okay. She began to tell me of how she gave her baby up for adoption 23 years earlier and the daughter had looked her up and she had just had a meeting with her that day. The daughter was mad at her and couldn't understand why her mother had given her up. Apparently the daughter had a rough life and blamed the biological mother. This woman felt so much guilt and remorse all these years and now it was compounded by a daughter that was mad at her. I was floored...I didn't know what to say. I just listened and told her it was okay. When she was done I looked into her eyes and just said it was okay, that what she did was the right choice then and it was okay now. She apologized for dumping all this on me and I reassured her it was okay, and that sometimes a stranger is the best person to talk to. I had to get back to work so I got up and gave the woman a hug and wished her good luck and left. I couldn't give you rep points, so this will have to do. Props to you, capitalman, for supporting this woman in what is obviously a time of uncertainty for her. In regards to the topic of this thread, I think he shouldn't have given in at first. Now that it's done, however, he must realize that he is not to blame for the situation at hand, nor will he bear responsibility(in a metaphysical sense) for the future of this unfortunate predicament. As for the actual pointing of fingers... I'm no authority, it's just my blunt, uncompromising, opinion that the woman in question needs to be ignored, just as she ignores the sanctity of another's right to their own private life. Sorry if that started to jumble - it's late, and I'm tired. Time to go to bed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest E*******h S******s Report post Posted September 23, 2011 I agree with the majority here....this is ALL about control. He can't ignore the situation...he needs to expend the dollars and get a lawyer (he can always sue for the money expended). This just amplifies the old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dexterS3 134 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Don't understand men and woman why they can't get it if the other party doesn't want to be involved why try these stupid antics. It floors me to see how much money and time that are spent on lawyers fee because people can't be rational or fair. There are so many people who are single etc your life would be better moving on than holding onto something that isn't there. I feel for your friend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 A great deal has to do with what he signed. He should have a copy of that document. Sperm donors give up all their rights over the conceived child. This usually implies all their responsibilities as well although that hasn't been tested in court. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
