Guest **cely***r***ne Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Good evening everyone, I have had a hard time with this for the past few days...But better late than never... For a long time now, I have been fighting a personal battle.Years really. It is a silent war that I have been able to hide so well, that even I forgot it existed. I have always, and will always, believe that honesty is a persons BEST virtue, and I have come to realize that I have not only been lying to those I care for, I have been lying to myself. I hope you take my confession as something I am 100% willing to personally give, as something I am giving up of myself. In recent days, upon opening myself up to someone (a fellow SP) whom I admire and look up to (who remain nameless, she knows who she is) I have decided to make the following announcement, for the one most important person I know...ME. And to also let those of you who I have prior engagements with. The only way I know how to say/do this is like this, Hello, My name is "Angel Starr" and I am an alcoholic, and I have been seeking help for months. Today, I received my call that there is a bed for me at a local Detox center. To me this is beautiful news. Finally, the help I have been praying for is there for me. I will be taking the bed they have available, and I will be away bettering myself in detox for 5 days. Upon release I will be undergoing counselling to help me realize my addictive personality. Which could take up to 2 weeks after I leave the center to a month. My only worry on this matter, is my upcoming visit to Ottawa. My whole tour there has been compromised, as I leave as early as tomorrow or Monday. To be able to be the best I can be, I need this help to first better myself as a person, but also to be able to further myself in the career I have chosen. I hope you all understand, as this help I have needed is available to me NOW. I do not want to leave a bad taste in anyones mouth, and I hope that you do not think differently of me. I only want you to understand the will I have to do better. To hide, and to suppress the emotions we feel as people with substance abuse is cowardly, IMO, and I will be nothing but a fighter in my battle. And I will rise above it. After saying and opening up like this to all of you, I hope you have the understanding to forgive me, and to allow me back into our community when I am well. It takes alot for me to be this open here, to be this personal. I am letting my heart spill its song onto your eyes, into your knowledge and your thoughts of me as a provider. And my words are as sincere as they can be. I wish you all the best, I will miss you while I am gone, and if there is forgiveness amongst you, I thank you for that. It is hard for me even to hit the submit new thread button, but... here I go...This is my confession, and as I write it, I cry... I love you all.. And I cannot wait to see you all when I am the Angel I am supposed to be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 God Speed Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest E*******h S******s Report post Posted September 23, 2011 You will be in my thoughts sweet girl.xox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Code Blue 3585 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Go get well and here's wishing you every success. x0x0x0x0x0x0 CB Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Winnipegcub 21293 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Oh Angel. You have my full and unquestioned warmth and support. I'll always be here and so will others in this community who love and embrace you. Be well. XOXO Cub Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Take care and wishing you all the success in your road to recovery. Hugs.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted September 23, 2011 Good luck Angel, everyone here is behind you 100% on your road to recovery. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reddog2402 2221 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Good luck Angel. I admire the courage and strength of character that you've shown, both with your honest and open confession here, and in taking this important step. Best of luck on your journey. My thoughts are with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xracer86 122 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel although we've never met you are very brave for letting everyone know such a personal issue and pouring your heart out. Of course everyone supports you and will welcome you at any time I'm sure. Good luck to you in your journey. Sent from my LG-E720b using Tapatalk 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Finch20 826 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel, you will always have our love and support. I admire you for taking that first step as that is the hardest one. It will be a tough battle, but you will win. Surround yourself with good people and think positive thoughts. I will be thinking of you. Take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newboy 4919 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel, how can anyone who knows you not be touched by this? You are so couragious... I wish you all the best my special friend, I will miss you while you are gone, but will rejoice when you return with your health. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capital Hunter 18263 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel you have our full support and best wishes and unconditional admiration for your courage, strength and honesty. You will be in our thoughts. God be with you in all steps. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qwertyaccount 15793 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 I can't hope to say it better than everyone else already has - take care and I hope to hear from you again soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BownChickaBown 4829 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Well chosen Angel. I admire your courage :) *BIG SUPPORTIVE HUGS* to our Starr! Tonight she shines bright, tomorrow even moreso! Take care me duckie, and Long may your big jib draw!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lowdark 5613 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Take care of yourself. You will be welcomed back with open arms and you have the wishes and prayers of everyone here. Take pride in your courage and we will see you when you are ready. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest tr*****e Report post Posted September 24, 2011 I wish you well on this journey of self-improvement Angel, you have my best wishes, and the blessing your karma from this confession brings you! :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest t**d**teur Report post Posted September 24, 2011 You are not alone. My name is traducteur and I (also) am an alcoholic. You are not alone and you can do it. My thoughts are with you. Take care of number One, yourself, then come back to us. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 My Angel... God it's hard to believe that we only did meet once last time you were here...I have the feeling that I have know you for ages! You are someone that is immensely courageous, strong and independent...but at some point, we are all a little broken inside...and this broken part for you is your addiction...I am SO happy that you are seeking help and helping yourself to get better...screw the other, do it for you...you're so beautiful (inside and out) I hate crying damnit, but you made me cry...I will miss you since you won't come to Ottawa (and you own me a date one day!) but our path will cross again one day or another and as my tattoo on my arm say...Always remember who you are... Angel Starr isn't your real name, but you are an Angel, maybe with the wings a little bit broken, but an angel no matter what... I love you hun and I am sending you all the love, hugs and orgasms your way... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hockey 683 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 You, Angel, are a very courageous, honest and wonderful woman. Wishful thoughts and support are there for you as you battle your addiction. You will succeed and continue to enjoy the most out of life as only you can do!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted September 24, 2011 All the best to you Angel. Make sure you take care of yourself first and foremost. You are not alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 What you're doing takes insane amounts of strength and courage. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey to recovery Angel. Thank you for sharing this with us! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xmy556 6095 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 All the best to you as you embark on your treatment. We all appreciate the challenge that you face and thank you for sharing your very private and intimate issue with your friends here on cerb... be strong, be well... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SamanthaEvans 166766 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 You're a winner, Angel. You've already taken one of the biggest hurdles you'll encounter in your recovery. Thank you for your trust and honesty. You will succeed! Take care of yourself first and foremost. We'll be here when you return, eager to connect with you again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***dst*** Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel my love, I'm sending you all my luck and hugs in hopes for a great recovery. I know many alchoholics, some in the family and some at work, they destroy their lives and the lives of those closest to them because of it; they all disgust me. NOT because of their addiction but it is their unwillingness (or inability) to want more and to change their life. You are taking that step which seperates you from these people and I applaud you for wanting/trying to be a better person. You should not feel ashamed for this choice and no one should judge you for it either. You continue to prove yourself a strong and fiercly independant woman and nothing turns me on more than these two qualities in a woman. I hold a great amount of respect and love for you my dear and it only gets bigger with your decision to want this for yourself. I will miss not being able to see you but I will take even greater comfort in knowing this is the reason :) Everytime you find yourself having trouble I'm always sending you my hugs :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frenchlover22 261 Report post Posted September 24, 2011 Angel, What courage you have demonstrated! What maturity you are showing us! We have yet to meet but your action today makes me want to meet you even more just to hold you and hug you-at least in the beginning;-). You already have shown how quickly you can make friends in Ottawa. Please consider me as your new friend and admirer. FL Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
