Pooner Diaries: Discovery

[Birdboy 10482]

(originally posted 22 Feb 2008 )

 

Once, long ago, I asked an artist friend about the meaning in some of her abstract art. Bless her art teacher's heart, for she was used to these questions. She grinned, and said that she could only put in half of the full meaning in her art. The rest was brought by the viewer, who viewed it through their own perception and biases, and gave it their own half of the meaning.

 

So it is with this hobby. Our experiences are filtered through our own perceptions, experiences, and circumstances. And chemistry between the two individuals counts for so much.

 

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The world knows me as Birdboy. Purveyor of sweet tales, seeker of sensual experiences. If my smiling face were to show up at your door, we would revel in the simple feel of skin on skin, long lingering kisses, and soft words whispered in your ear, for you and you alone.

 

But one lady knows me in a very different way. I give her a warm hug when I get to her place and listen intently as I ask her how she's been, but that's where the similarity stops. I don't know why, but when I'm with her I'm a bird of a different feather. She brings out the dark side in me, and has from the very beginning. She makes me want to be dirty. When I'm with her, I'm rough. I'm aggressive. I'm rude and crude. I do things to her that I've never imagined wanting to do before to anyone. And I love it, and she loves it from me, her sweet smile beaming up at me as I'm pulling her hair, and more..

 

She isn't like this with everyone, and I'm like this with no one else. And I don't know where this bird comes from, or where he flys to after I leave her home. But she has awakened a side of me that I never realized I had.

 

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The world knows her as Auntie Agony, or Mistress Ilsa. She's the domme's domme. She relishes her role, her every word an exercise in power and control. I've seen her fix that cold gaze, heard the crack of the whip, peeked nervously into her dungeon. She lives for the life, as she lives the life 24/7.

 

But I've never been a client of hers, at least for these services. To me, she'll always just be Marie. And whenever I come by, she melts into my arms, as I give her a long soulful kiss. I stroke her hair and tell her how beautiful she is. And I see the softness in her eyes as we walk side-by-side into her bedroom.

 

I don't want to control her, and she doesn't want to control me. We are equals, and we are friends. We have something special between us, light and delicate as a fresh souffle. And like that souffle, I hold my breath when I'm around. I don't say anything about it for fear of breaking the spell, making that delicate confection fall. But it's magical.

 

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A much wiser person than me said that something could not brought out from us that didn't already exist there. And he was right. I have a tiny splinter of the crude thug in me, and my domme lady friend has a part of her that wants to feel gently loved and pampered.

 

None of us is one-dimensional. We are all complex, and more than the sum of our parts. And we are all on a long journey of self-discovery, as we travel along this winding road that is life.

[Liana 689]

"So it is with this hobby. Our experiences are filtered through our own perceptions, experiences, and circumstances. And chemistry between the two individuals counts for so much."

 

You are a bird of a different feather, the dark side of you that comes out is very real and intentional. You are dirty, rough and aggressive. Pulling and pulling until there is no more go. No more left to hold on to anymore.

 

This bird has come from afar and has flown away never to return again. She has gone to the inky depths of no return.

 

Auntie Agony sees everything for what it is and everyone for who they are. In fact, this is her true art. The art of her soul.

 

She is the undying owl that watches, the barn owl. The one who sees without seeing and hears without hearing. This owl represents wisdom. Seeing things that are hidden, stealth, swiftness, darkness, freedom, dreams, shape-shifting, secrets, omens, clairvoyance, astral projection, magick, deception, observation, total truth, night, death and misfortune.

 

The other side is Marie. The good in her, and the softness she contains within herself in this dark cruel world. This sustains her. You have seen this real side and that which is the reason you will never be her client. As the two of you melt in each others arms, though you are equals, just friends. And nothing more.

 

The magical confection of the pure egg white poured on the light dish which makes it ever so delectable.

 

Although, there is nothing more that cant be brought out that doesnt already exist.

 

The long journey that teaches us the most important life lessons that we forever cherish in our hearts and souls. The road that never ends.