Homewreckers?

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

People seem to often believe that sex workers, regardless of sector, lure faithful husbands away from their wives, corrupting them and ruining families.

 

This is not something I would know on my own, as I have no experience, but after talking with several clients, I think we may actually save marriages.

 

I've been told that many men, after being married for many years and dealing with the stresses of kids, money, etc. lose the intimacy and sexuality they once experienced with their wives. I understand how difficult it can be to be passionate with each other when the kids are acting up all day and you disagree about finances (who doesn't?).

 

I believe that intimacy, human touch, and sexual experience is a basic human need that is required to live a happy life. When this is lacking in a marriage, men may feeling resentful towards their wives for not taking care of them in this way. Though the marriage itself may be functional, happy, and overall fulfilling, this void can be a huge strain on a marriage.

 

My clients have told me that when they see me and their intimate/touch/sexual needs are met, they go home to their wives in a new light. They don't feel resentful. They don't feel unfulfilled. The void has been filled. They love their wives and are ready to continue being life partners and doing all the things life partners do together.

 

I know this experience may not be that of everyone, or even most of you, but it was a perspective I thought was interesting enough to share.

 

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

 

Megan

[Claire Heavens 51771]

I totally agree ;) It's like having it all. I am alllll about having it all! Balance. Best of both worlds, Having your cake and eating it too, etc ;) I am still relatively new to this entire industry, yet even I have this new found inner happiness and total fulfillment from interacting with so many different people, through CERB or behind closed doors. We do not force people to come see us. They choose to come see us, and we choose to see them. Both parties involved are clearly getting something out of it. Even the SO at home may see a difference in their partner, a change for the better. We all benefit! ;) XoXoXo

[roamingguy 300292]

I think the concept of homewrecker is another example of passing off responsibility onto someone who shouldn't bear responsibility. Any moral judgements, and I'm not making any, so parden my use of what can be judgemental terms should be about the husband cheating on his wife. And he would cheat irrespective of which SP he saw. If one retired, he'd see another IMHO (and seriously, no judgements here, no one knows anyones personal life, and no one here is in a position to judge)

If a married man sees a SP or has an affair, shouldn't he bear the responsibility for not being faithful.

Also with an affair, isn't there a real risk of emotional attachment to the lady he is seeing, whereas seeing an SP, the attachment is less emotional (ie not in love) and less risk of a husband leaving his wife over an SP, because at the end of the day, the SP/Client relationship is based on the lady being compensated financially for her time, without the expectation of the man leaving his wife and marrying her

My quick rambling

RG

[loopie 15358]

I don't really like assigning guilt in relationships. I'm not a relationship judge, we don't live in relationship court. I almost see a relationship as a seperate entity from the people involved if you get what I'm saying.

 

When it's not working, it's not that it's "sombody's fault" or that one person is "the bad guy". There's usually no good guy or bad guy, or at least it's not productive to think of it that way. It's just two (or more) people in something that isn't working because it's not making them happy. It's the relationship that either needs to be fixed, redefined, or abandoned not the people.

[Lowdark 5613]

The idea that an SP or MA can be seen as a homewrecker is morally and intellectually lazy. People (neither men nor and women) wander unless they feel they have a reason to. As Emily stated previously, no one forces people to see an SP or an MA. Why is the person in question even looking? Calling other people homewrekcers, whether they be members of the sex industry or someone a person winds up having an affair with, is just another way to remove responsibility for either the problem or the solution from oneself. If a man seeks out and enjoys both the physical and emotional company of a another woman, there is a reason he is looking and that's what's "wrecking" the "home."

[meridian 100]

I think Megan makes an excellent point. Sex workers often fill important voids in relationships and allow otherwise happy and healthy marriages continue. I think it is truly sad when I see a coule that is otherwise completely compatible (like each other, good parents, fun....) break up because theyba sexually incompatible and one of them seeks sex outside the relationship

 

If more couples could see this sex workers would indeed be seen as therapists rather than home wreckers and given the respect they deserve

[Andee 220524]

I am of the mindset that if a man is not getting his sexual needed fulfilled at home and sees paid companions to fill the void, he will in turn be able to concentrate on being a better husband and father. Period.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

 

This is not something I would know on my own' date=' as I have no experience, but after talking with several clients, I think we may actually save marriages.

 

[/quote']

 

"Home wrecker" or "Home wrecking" is really only a term to pass blame. We are of an era of blame passing. It's a made up word derived from broken hearten lovers, bias friends and family in the name of Blame.

We all know about when the clients come to us and go home and have hot sex with their wives still worked up. Sp's can help and save marriages?? We say that but we can't take responsibility for saving a marriage or we would also have to take responsibility for wrecking them as well.

 

When men get caught or solely rely on an Sp to fulfill their much needed desires and give up completely on trying to fix the relationship, as much as the men have ruined their relationship, there is always a home wrecker to blame, his friends, his mother or an SP.

Take Brad and Angelina, "that home wrecking whore"! But really, Brad wasn't forced, we all know that, I can bet you don't hear Brad's friends like Goerge Clooney telling Brad that he was a victim of a home wrecker..Because Brad isn't sad and doesn't need to feel better like Jenn- her friends like Courtney Cox would be the first one to point our Angelina was a Home wrecking whore.

 

No one can wreck a home that doesn't live there unless you burn it down. There are no such things as home wreckers at all, it's a made up word by broken hearten lovers or bias best friends. Anyone can be named a home wrecker.

 

So we shouldn't deny our responsibility in the wrecking of a home even if we are not to blame,at times we are the Blamed because that's what a home wrecker is- someone to blame

[Code Blue 3585]

From my limited experiences in this area, I would suggest the only people who wreck homes are the ones who live therein. All else is smoke and mirrors - "blaming and shaming".

 

There are whole groups of "outside agents" who get paid to try and achieve reconciliations. I would accept the possibility, or even probability that an outside agent can rescue a rocky relationship, even if their initial purpose was for something a little more prosaic.

 

There is a facet of the SP/Hobbyist interaction which leaps off this Board that I have not seen mentioned, let alone discussed elsewhere. It speaks to the relationship or "chemistry" in such encounters which is mentioned all over the place here. For me and my albeit few interactions with the ladies here, I have found that alchemy a true delight.

 

Whether or not those interactions have made me an easier person to live with, I am not the person to ask!

 

CB

[ottawaadventurer 5114]

For me, the term homewrecker is reserved for people (men or women) who intentionally lead on married people with the intention of splitting up the marriage and gaining a partner - not something SPs do.

 

I agree with many comments so far - SPs are more likely to save a relationship than wreck one.

 

At least that's my perspective.

[Guest E*******h S******s]

SPs absolutely aren't homewreckers. The possibility of us trying to insert ourselves into the client's world is far less than if the client picked a women up in a bar or had an affair with a co-worker. Nobody is going to come home to find a dead bunny cooking on the stove (Fatal Attraction reference....lol).

 

I completely agree with Angela. We do far more to keep couples together than to rip them apart.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I agree with many comments so far - SPs are more likely to save a relationship than wreck one.

 

Sp's cannot save a relationship, only the two involved in the relationship can do that, Sp's can do their job and do it well, the rest is up to them.

I understand that it's more of the idea that there was an outlet for a troubled man and made him feel different and better more able to face certain diminished factors in a relationship. If going to an SP saved the man behind the relationship then your good idea of going to the SP saved the relationship, not the SP herself. What if going to the SP ruined the marriage, then we would be home wreckers? We're trying to defend our name here and by doing one, we can do the other.

No one says golf saved their relationship. A relationship is about what you are willing to sacrifice or give up not what you want to get or give each other, and if circumstances arise that the partners are not able or willing to fulfill the sexual desires of the other at that time for whatever reasons, death, hormones, sickness, stress...Then that's a sacrifice one should be willing to make for the other. If one partner chooses to search outside the marriage for answers without permission and get caught than they have wrecked their own home. We need to give ourselves some credit where credit is due and if you saved your marriage be it golf or an SP, good for you!

[Guest **n****er]

Homewreckers? Hardly. You beautiful, intelligent learned ladies should be given honorary Harvard degrees in psychology and teach courses to wives everywhere.

 

I'm serious.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Homewreckers? Hardly. You beautiful, intelligent learned ladies should be given honorary Harvard degrees in psychology and teach courses to wives everywhere.

 

I'm serious.

Many of us are also wives ;)

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Many of us are also wives ;)

 

Yeah, I'd like to think I'm a pretty good one too :)

This business has taught me more about men and sex probably more than 20 lifetimes worth. I know what my man needs and wants. I just asked him and he says I rock..most importantly I understand that a relationship is not what you build out there, but in here (pointing to heart).

We've met a few people that tried more than to just interfere (wanna bee home wreckers) with our life together.. Just something to bring us together stronger, I love a good challenge and over coming them in a relationship is what it's all about, Home wrecking is just another excuse or blame factor for a failed challenges or problems.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

I have had a few clients who had been seeking help with "juicing" up their relationships with their wives. We would sit and talk about the difference between males and females when it comes to sexual needs and desires. And the differences in stimulation..visual vs. emotional...

 

One example, my client and his wife have been happily married for 30+ years, and as time went by, the desire to have sex was fleeting away. Boredom set in. He was at his wits end with trying to please his wife, and in return be pleased. To my amazement his poor wife had no idea how to masturbate. I taught him how to teach her, manually at first of course as a clitoral stimulator/vibrator may have been a little frightening for her first time....He likes to watch women masturbate, and had never seen his wife do it so I thought this was an excellent way to start getting things spiced up.

 

After quite a few visits and "sexual therapy" later, they have quite the healthy sex life, and even took a second honeymoon. Do you consider this wrecking a home? From my perspective, I do not. I have had no further encounters with this gentleman :( but I am completely satisfied in knowing that I helped a life long marriage become better than ever with my knowledge, and yes, perhaps skill.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Homewreckers certainly exist. They're the people with whom a married (I use the term loosely) man or woman begins an affair, which is great for a while, and who then start asking questions like, "When are you going to leave him/her for me?" And eventually they'll play the ultimatum card, and someone who only ever really wanted a better sex life will be in a horrible position, and they know their relationship with their SO will quite possibly be wrecked, either by splitting up with the SO or the vengeance of the jilted lover.

 

But SPs are not these people. SPs don't demand that you call the day after (or ever, for that matter). They don't hand out ultimatums (ultimata?). They provide a release valve for those things with aren't being released within the relationship with the SO. yes, I'm sure there are a few SPs who may take a relationship with a client too far and become homewreckers - but I'm equally sure that this is a very small minority, that the vast majority save far more relationships than the ever endanger, and in the cases where the SP-client relationship becomes known to the SO that this is because of the client's carelessness in separating the two.

 

So, yes, I'm sure you ladies reading this have probably saved a relationship or two (or three, or hundred), whether the client in question ever told you this or not.

[Frank Ricard 223]

The conclusion I've come to is that perhaps it's not realistic to expect one person to meet all of our needs all the time, which is why I feel that meeting those needs with another person is acceptable - provided that it's done in a cautious and discrete fashion. If anything it can help the relationship as we stop looking to that person to meet that need, and no longer feel resentment for something that isn't there.

 

YMMV.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I think many married men are happy with their home lives except for the sex part. Having been married, I can see how it all unfolds over the years. Children, finances, careers, exhaustion/stress all play a role where everything else is happening in the bedroom. You just get comfortable and then suddenly your sex life is diminishing.

 

Going to see an SP is a lot better than getting emtionally involved by having an affair. I've been in two situations where I've had wives contact me and you would expect that they would have some anger towards me but they didn't. They had just wanted to know if their husbands had contacted me because they found evidence of both men visiting my website and out of the blue one of them said he was going to Ottawa.

 

I had never heard from these men but one of the wives said to me that they'd rather have their husband visit an escort for physical reasons rather than carry on an affair. They thanked me and I never heard from them again.

 

I'm sure I have helped many marriages over the years yet I know I could never be labelled as a home wrecker as I don't have a stake in someone's marriage. We as SPs are offering a service and most of the time, it ends there. The majority of my clients do not mention their maritial status and I view conversations in my encounters as on a need to know basis. I don't really care to know. Other times, as I have had repeat visits from clients, I have heard all about their wives, what they do and how unhappy they are. I understand sometimes they just need someone to listen and I have done just that. They are not really looking toward me for a solution, just for someone to ease their stress at times whether it's physical, mental or both.