Need Some Advice!

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Ok. So I had a new, upgraded alarm system installed in my home on Monday. Two installers showed up, the girl who sold it to me, and later, a 3rd technician.

 

Now as some of you know, I have my dungeon set up in my basement. I covered up everything as best as I could, and unless someone went out of their way to snoop, and/or lift things up or move things over, it looked very inconspicuous.

 

I chatted with everyone, except the 2nd installer, who didn't appear to speak English. One of the installers was Seikh so we spoke a little of what I know of his culture. He told me he was going back to India next month and to let him know if I wanted to bring him anything back. (?) I thanked him and they all finally left.

 

He called me later the next day at home on my personal home phone. I didn't know who it was, until he finally told me he was the one who installed my alarm the day before. He asked if it was a bad time, and frankly, it was. He asked if he could call back in the morning. I agreed. I just figured he was calling as a follow-up to the installation, and to see if I may have had any issues or problems.

 

I left home on Wednesday for a doctor's apptmt. This stupid cold is turning into something much worse. I go to visit my grandfather at the hospital and pick up some stuff on the way home. I was gone for about 5 hours. I checked my phone and he called ten times! I immediately knew it wasn't just a follow-up call. I took my medicine and went for a nap.

 

He called many times while I was sleeping and I finally answered around 7pm. He says, "I want to make an appointment." What? I stutter. "Well, I saw your stuff downstairs and I want to make an appointment." I was so caught off guard, I just blindly went into 'Soleil' mode. He asked how much I charged and when I told him he asked if he could have a discount. Uh, no. "Then why don't I install a security camera on the outside of your home in exchange?" Uh, um, I dunno, kay, maybe.

 

I was stupified. And also really put off with this guy once I hung up and thought about the whole thing, calmly. I hate everything about it.

 

He violated me by snooping around downstairs.

He insulted me by asking for a discount and then trying to barter with me.

He knows what I do, my real information and my work information.

He called me far too many times. (I forgot to mention he asked me very annoyed, where I was all day and why I wasn't taking his calls. He admitted to having called ten times)

He caught me off guard and now he knows too much because I wasn't thinking. In hindsight, I should have acted extremely offended when he asked to make an appointment, and I should've said that was for me and my partner exclusively. But idiot me, went completely in the wrong direction.

 

What do you guys think I should do about this? Should I be worried? What should I tell him when he calls? I DO NOT want to see him as a client, ever. But with what he knows, I fear pissing him off. :(

[AndyofHalifax 15339]

Sorry to hear about your situation, Soleil.

 

I'm sure some of the SP's might have better solutions, but I would recommend blocking his phone number (you can usually do this with your phone company) and ending all contact with him. If there is any chance he would know your security code, it is a good idea to change that as well.

 

I would imagine that the likelihood of him going to law enforcement at this point would be fairly low, especially since he would be implicating himself, and he has no actual evidence of anything.

 

Hopefully, cutting off all communication with him will stop the problem. If not, Samantha Evans posted about her experience with a former client here http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=66258 which may be useful.

 

Stay safe!

[jg24 3708]

This is not kool this guy has over stepped his boundary as a proffesional. Can only imagine what his company would think of his actions

[Annessa 22743]

maybe feign just being a civilian not actually an escort and say you're having second thoughts about seeing someone for pay.

 

Perhaps say that you were caught off guard but that no one had ever really asked you that (to make a booking) before so decided to jump on the opportunity but that the equipment actually IS exclusively for you and your partner and after some thought you've decided its probably not a good idea if your partner were to find out.....add that your partner is very big and very strong and can get very jealous (even if hes not of course). Maybe that will keep him at bay and keep him from trying to call you out etc.

 

if he persists to call...perhaps tell him that if he continues to call you, you will make a complaint to his work that he snooped around in a private area in your house and that he is trying to book you for a sexual encounter.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I would make a compliant to the company. A person like this obviously could been seen as a threat. Anyone who comes into my home for a professional job, must only do their job!! Not snoop, and if they do see anything, it should not be discussed! I was a landscaper, I have been a house cleaner, and if I had ever stuck my nose into their stuff I would be fired! A security company should know better! I would make a complaint, and perhaps change companies. This is an invasion of your privacy, from someone you are entrusting your security with!! I think the company will take action to further protect you if they have any kind of professionalism.

In your complaint you can say that he has assumed this, and that it is for personal use! That your are offended he would try to "make an appt...whatever that means( lol...wink)and then tell the number of phone calls he has made. Also mention that he wanted to barder...boss wont like that!!!

[Guest E*******h S******s]

The best defense is a good offense. I agree with Annessa, the next time he calls, tell him in no uncertain terms that this isn't going to happen as you don't feel comfortable crossing the line from recreation to pay for play. Explain to him that your phone records will show how many times he called, the fact that he suggested trading company property for his personal needs and that he snooped in a client's home would not sit well with his employers. Say that you would prefer not to have to go that route but you will if he does not cease and desist contacting you.

 

I understand completely being caught off guard, blurting out too much info. But you CAN backtrack on this. Let us know how it works out sweetheart.

[Jabba 18389]

I agree with Sophia. I wouldn't engage this guy at all. He see's this as an opportunity to take advantage of you (in fact, he already has). He comes from a culture that places women on unequal footing (so, call me racist). If he calls again, I would be strongly tempted to report him to the police and his company about unwanted advances.

 

Good luck & let us know how things are going. You can count on our support.

J.

[Zoe Zee 13876]

Ugh that totally sucks. I agree with the advice posted. Don't see him as a client for sure. If anything comes back to you, your dungeon can be explained as just for personal play.

 

I had a doctor do this to me once, he took my info off my records after I told him of my work (thinking no harm in being honest with a doctor.) I reported him to the College of Physicians and Surgeons because he kept harassing me.

 

I guess if he keeps harassing you, report him to his work. He's the one who did something wrong, not you.

 

take care

[Old Dog 179138]

I think it's a double blind. He either knows or suspects your profession; in fact he could be a member here and recognizes you from photos. It may be that he didn't snoop, he may have just put two and two together and said, "Hey, I recognize that pretty lady, she is Soleil from CERB. She is smoking hot, I would like to have intimate time with her."

 

On the other hand, you have his home phone number and his work phone number. You know who he is and what he does; moreover, you also know exactly where he works and for whom. You have a great deal more information in your hands than you would for your average client. If knowledge is power, then you have power. Oh yeah... you also have his offer that he would do extra work off the clock... what employer would be happy with that?

 

If the answer is no, you have several options, but my personal favourite would be, "Thank you for your offer Mr. Singh, but I would rather keep the nature of our relationship professional. I appreciate your interest but would also like to maintain my relationship with ABC123 Security in good standing."

[roamingguy 300292]

To take Annessa's idea to the next level, say it's your boyfriend's/husband's dungeon. And he's been dying to experiment...however he is dominant, and would like a male partner to be a sub. And your SO likes it rough You just like watching. Also tell him the dungeon is soundproof

Seriously my advice, to be taken in addition to advice already given

Keep a record of all communications/contacts (phone calls, trying to visit etc) he makes to you

Clearly tell him his calls are unwelcome and if not stopped, you will report him. And in his line of work, he may be bonded, this may deter him

Call block a good idea. He may get the message with that, but if not, he could just call from another phone,. If it should come to it though, get an unlisted number Tell the phone company you are being stalked, they will change your number for free (they did for me)

Definitely change your security code as has been recommended earlier

Not to sound paranoid here, but you might want to get (another ) security company to do a check of your premises, to make sure this guy didn't leave mini cameras, microphones etc there. Working in the security field who knows what he might have access to.

If continued, call his company and report him. Who knows who else he does this to. Probably at this point call the police too, they may just give him a chat, a few words of discouragement.

Just a few ideas to compliment those already given

Good luck

Hope everything works out

RG

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Everyone who responded...Thank You! I love it when my friends are there to support and guide me. I promise to let you all know how it turns out. Thankfully, he hasn't called today. You guys all rock!

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

All good advice ....i love roaminguys idea of the sub....even better invite him over without telling him and have a big guy there all dolled up in the master getup...lmao...i bet he would be running...

the dudes a douche and invaded your privacy...it's really none of his business what your stuff is for. If it was me i for sure would be calling his work but i would warn him first {he may stop then}...like olddog said you have all his info too...and for god sakes get your code changed and get it changed from the owner of the company or another company.

big hugs,

Emma

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I'm so sorry you were put in this uncomfortable position. You could try blocking him but he will just use a payphone and if you're scared of him getting pissed that would probably piss him off.

You know what I would do? This is your personal phone number right? I would forward your phone to a guy friend of yours for the day and he will probably call at some point in the next few days. He will probably get scared off once a man answers on your home number and just hang up and if he doesn't he probably would after your friend answers and says in a deep voice " Honey!! Phone, who is this, she's busy?"

I dunno, just a thought good luck sweety

[123cram 100]

It's pretty bad that the guy who's suppose to be installing a security system would do that, seems like the complete opposite of security to me!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I would call his place of employment and file a complaint but not before luring him into your dungeon in the basement, tie him up and whip the s**t out of him to teach him a lesson. Okay, that would be my evil fantasy for retribution if I were in your shoes but it's unrealistic in the real world.

 

If this dude values his job, he will back off. If he calls you again, tell him to stop calling you and if he keeps contacting you then you have a good case for harassment. Hopefully he will wise up and leave you alone for good. Good luck luvy!

[xmy556 6095]

If this happened to me, I'd have a conversation with my lawyer (!). Sure, it costs you, but there is a benefit to having a legal viewpoint on this matter.

 

You had hired a company that is in the security protection business, and this company would not want its reputation damaged by having a problem employee behaving in this manner. An employee in this business may have signed an employment contract that specifies acceptable conduct on the part of the employee. His actions would constitute immediate grounds for dismissal, no doubt.

 

Your lawyer may be able to contact the company in confidence and pursue the matter on your behalf, and could advise you on obtaining further protection for you personally against this creep.

 

Most of us despise lawyers, but it's worth considering..

[Lowdark 5613]

I agree with much of what has been said, and Old Dog is right, you have enough information on him to give you an advantage. if he calls you again, express in no uncertain terms that not only do you feel violated, but you will contact the police as well as the company and that you have pursued legal advice from your counsel. There's a good chance that he may be thinking of you as a victim; as prey. He needs to be reminded that you have teeth as well. And as RG suggested, it can't hurt to do a quick sweep of your home for any surprises he may have left. Take others advice and get your security number switched. And, just as an aside, let him know about your new pitbull the next time you talk to him (if you do). And how much he enjoys chewing hands. Let us know how it turns out.

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

He called. I took the easiest way out. I told him my big, huge boyfriend was extremely angry to find out he had snooped in my basement and if he calls me again, my bf will be contacting his work. He said 'No problem', and I thanked him and said good-bye. Keep your fingers crossed that scared him off for good.

 

I loved reading all of your creative solutions to my problem. And I seriously love the fact those who responded, did. You all made me smile when I didn't much feel like it. Thank you once again my friends! :)

[roamingguy 300292]

Soleil

Just a quick piece of information. I was wrong using the term call block, it is call screen (available on Bell, don't know about other phone companies) I assume you know this guy's number.

So dial *60, follow the voice prompts. You get the option to

-add/remove telephone numbers from your call blocking list

-hear your list of currently blocked numbers

-turn call blocking list on/off

Directions are in the front of the phone book, and if you use another phone company, they likely have something similar

Good luck

And hopefully he won't contact you again

But in a lighter vein, remind him of Deliverance, and this is what your bf will do to him

There, a little Friday afternoon smile

RG

[capitalman 3861]

You have a dungeon? :)

 

Additional Comments:

You have a dungeon? :)

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

He called. I took the easiest way out. I told him my big, huge boyfriend was extremely angry to find out he had snooped in my basement and if he calls me again, my bf will be contacting his work. He said 'No problem', and I thanked him and said good-bye. Keep your fingers crossed that scared him off for good.

 

I loved reading all of your creative solutions to my problem. And I seriously love the fact those who responded, did. You all made me smile when I didn't much feel like it. Thank you once again my friends! :)

 

Glad to hear he seems to have got the message!

However, if he bothers you again, I would gladly play the role of pissed off SO ;)

 

Don't mess with an enraged metalhead in combat boots :p

[Annessa 22743]

yay! glad to hear that everything worked out! Sometimes the easiest solution is often the most practical. I hope he leaves you alone...if hes got half a brain he will ;)

[Guest t**obb****]

i had a friend who installed telephone connections.

He had an install with a really hot lady, and thought he was coming across all smooth.

 

When he was connecting the line, she didn't follow the instructions and stay off the phone, so he heard her conversation explaining how creepy he was.

 

He finished up and left, embarrassed.

 

Sometimes guys just don't realize their being creepy, or that the position that their in should proclude any advances.

 

I'm glad to hear he got the message.