How do you approach new friendships as an SP?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I am looking for input on how other's deal with meeting new people.

 

Do you tell them right away that you are an SP? Or do you bend the truth a bit like, " I am adult enetertainor....or I do web cam show..." Do you tell them, and not let them know your stage name or place of advertisements? Is it a concern to you or not?

 

I recently met a girl and her BF, at first I said nothing about my work, but after a bit of time, and a few drinks, I feed them just a little bit of info on my trade....then a bit more....and a bit more. But something told me not to ever tell them my stage name or place of advertisement. In fear that they could use that against me somehow down the line. She asked to see my profile, etc...but I firmly said" I will never tell my friends where I advertise, sorry"

 

You think this is a smart way of dealing with this situation?

[rickkkm 525]

unless you don't tell them your name, but if you do, they will simply google you and find out that way....; you would have to simply say that you are in entertainment/dancer exotic industry, and leave the rest out. They don't need to know and they can speculate all they want themselves and that is human nature and what they find out through others you can't control that neither.

[GrenadeMan 280]

She asked to see my profile, etc...but I firmly said" I will never tell my friends where I advertise, sorry"

 

You think this is a smart way of dealing with this situation?

 

Yes I think in your mind you should have clear definition of what your friends should know about you or not. So if you are comfortable telling them what you do, but not sharing all the information such as CERB stuff, that it is the right approach.

 

Don't dilly dally on this though. If you tell one friend your CERB profile, and the other not, then it will come to bite you. Just be consistent. Don't give out your CERB profile to any of your friends.

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

The fact that I am an escort doesn't change the true person that I am. I just have more sex then my friends and probably make more money in less time then they do. Except for that...I am the same.

 

Only few of my really close friends know what I do for a living, I told more people that I was dancing (they still think I do), it just seem that dancing is more socially acceptable then being an escort.

 

I think it's a good idea to not tell them your stage name, your website and where you advertise, don't give them also your work phone...because as you said if you loose their friendships one day, they may be angry at you for one day and trash you with infos you gave them...and they may regret it after all their life.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... something told me not to ever tell them my stage name or place of advertisement. In fear that they could use that against me somehow down the line. She asked to see my profile, etc...but I firmly said" I will never tell my friends where I advertise, sorry"

 

You think this is a smart way of dealing with this situation?

 

Remember that they could just google "Escorts Fredericton"; then click on one of the links that come up on page one of the results. Your picture, a face photo, comes up with one click; your entire profile appears by clicking a second time.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Remember that they could just google "Escorts Fredericton"; then click on one of the links that come up on page one of the results. Your picture, a face photo, comes up with one click; your entire profile appears by clicking a second time.

 

Yes you are right on this, it is a risk I take. But if they go to that extent to "out" me....well the good thing is, that my closest friends already know what I do, and they( the girl and he BF) do not know my family or what city I am from. So hopefully they wont cause much damage to me ( if it ever goes that way)and their attempts will be nile and void.

[spud271 47779]

I think your approach to the situation is appropriate Sophia. Telling your friends that you work in the sex industry is great! I think it's the best way to be and those who do not support you, are not friends at all! The fact that you don't want them to see your profile now that you have told them what you do is irrelevant. If they want to find you they will. As WIT pointed out, it only took him a second to find you online.

 

I personally agree with you though Sophia, it's best not to hand out your SP name or where to find you to your friends. I have seen too many times in the past where SP's and MA's were exposed for what they do from broken friendships. Though I hope your new friends are not like that, best to be a little cautious about things with them.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... they ... do not know ... what city I am from...

 

I assumed that since the topic is "new friendships" that they'd be in the same geographical area as you are. Googling "Escorts New Brunswick" yields the same results, in the same ten seconds. If your friends don't even know what province you're from, on the other hand, then I do agree that it would take more time to find you!

[CristyCurves 169032]

I am looking for input on how other's deal with meeting new people.

 

Do you tell them right away that you are an SP? Or do you bend the truth a bit like, " I am adult enetertainor....or I do web cam show..." Do you tell them, and not let them know your stage name or place of advertisements? Is it a concern to you or not?

 

I recently met a girl and her BF, at first I said nothing about my work, but after a bit of time, and a few drinks, I feed them just a little bit of info on my trade....then a bit more....and a bit more. But something told me not to ever tell them my stage name or place of advertisement. In fear that they could use that against me somehow down the line. She asked to see my profile, etc...but I firmly said" I will never tell my friends where I advertise, sorry"

 

You think this is a smart way of dealing with this situation?

--just my opinion-- but I would never disclose anything until I am VERY sure I know that person inside and out and maybe not even then ,unfortunately this is something people can use as a weapon of vengenace and since you never know what the future holds between anyone,I think it best to keep it to yourself, however we all have a gut instinct,especially women. follow it if it is important for you to be forthcoming,I will not tell anyone to lie,you have to do what you feel comfortable with.I just wish this exciting occupation was more widely excepted so we could all be open about it.

*True friends will except you with all baggage and as you are,but only a dogs love is unconditional,well maybe a cats too!

[Zoe Zee 13876]

I always struggle with this too, and I find myself struggling in the friendship area because I don't know how to approach it. It also is the same thing in my dating life.

 

I find myself being honest but not giving out my work name. I don't tell right away, but only if I start feeling close to the person and want to tell them.

 

As far as dating goes, still not sure how to approach that one.

 

All the close friends I have told have accepted what I do and didn't change at all. Other people who snooped and found out, well, I dropped them as they were rude about my work or insisted I quit.

[loopie 15358]

Since starting in this hobby I have wondered about this myself. I remember when I first came on this site I couldn't believe the selection of women. I was amazed at how many women do this for a living. I wondered if I had friends and colleagues who did this secretly. This then lead me to brief anxiety about meeting SPs who don't show her faces in their photos and it turning out to be a friend/coworker/sister.

 

I've wondered just how open you ladies are about your profession. Especially reading Julia's post about her man telling his friends and coworkers and how they reacted. Are most of you that way? Would most of you want your boyfriend/husband to tell everybody what you did or would you rather he not? When you first quit whatever other job you had and decided to do this, did you tell many people? Would you tell your kids?

 

Just curious.

[Victoria Banks 21899]

Depending on the circumstances I usually say I'm a sex worker or escort. I just don't care.

[Old Dog 179138]

From a guy's perspective, I count among my friends several sex workers. I frankly don't give a damn what a person does, what they own or who they are seeing... my friends are my friends because of who they are, not what they do.

 

I would also suggest that the initial trepidation that people have in exposing this part of their lives may meet resistance, but in fact, the more people are aware of what you do and who you are, the more intrigued they become.

 

Again just from my own perspective, my life has been vastly enriched by the wonderful relationships I have fostered with women in the industry. I am one lucky guy.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

To me, being an SP is like being in the mafia. You don't talk about it in an open manner... Separate friends for separate ocassions and you never let them be intertwined with one another. It really is no one's business. It's one of my multiple streams of income but doesn't consume my whole life either and it certainly isn't WHO I am.

[roamingguy 300292]

Well my two cents worth, if a new friendship, it would, imho be too early to divulge that part of your life. I could see letting a established friend , one you know very well know about being an SP, if you are comfortable sharing that information

On the flip side, especially if the friend is a member of the opposite sex, you may run into him wanting to see you professionally, which could be awkward

A two cented rambling

RG

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I agree with Nicki. I am not defined by what I do but who I am. I feel no need to share this part of myself with anyone. If that is the only topic of conversation, employment, then the friendship is doomed. To be frank, if the topic does arise, I make a vague reference to a home based business and that my services do not extend to friends or family for professional reasons. Does the trick and hence, only my SP friends and one other person know what I really do to pay the bills. Keeps it simple and no worries about any negative reprecussions.

[castle 38816]

I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it. Something in your gut obviously told you revealing too much info would be a bad idea. And in my experience the gut almost always has a good reason for telling you things like that. In other words...go with your gut.

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[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Your input has helped me to find my way of dealing with this scenario! I find it difficult to lie to people, it really is not in my nature. But I have learned how to give give partial truths, lol. Thanks alot for taking the time to post on this, much love to you all!

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Unless the ladies are in the industry they can never understand you. Woman can be jelouse of you, a lot of people have to work a whole week to make what you make in a day. If I could take it back (telling them), I would.

We don't want to lie about what we do, because we want to have people that accept us for who we are..men accept me a lot more than females. It's hard to be accepted by someone that doesn't understand or have the slightest clue. I guess that's why a lot of people are close friends with their coworkers or people in the similar work.

Sometimes in life, we want to just be a normal person without having our job come in the way of who we are. If I had it my way the question "what do you do" wouldn't exist.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I've always realized that as an SP it is good to have other things going on whether it is employment or other interests so if that topic of conversation does come up, you have a backup to discuss. And it is also good in a personal sense to keep your life balanced because being an SP can consume you to no end if you let it.

 

Yes, not fully admitting to being is SP could be considered a lie by omission to some but once again it does not define who you are and only a small part of what you do for a living. Almost like a second job.

 

It all goes back to what you feel comfortable in telling people but many are not so forgiving and are hypocrites so for many women it is an don't ask, don't tell type policy. Now if you were getting romantically involved with someone, that's a whole different ballgame and you'd have to upfront about it. JMO.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I've always realized that as an SP it is good to have other things going on whether it is employment or other interests so if that topic of conversation does come up, you have a backup to discuss. And it is also good in a personal sense to keep your life balanced because being an SP can consume you to no end if you let it.

 

Yes, not fully admitting to being is SP could be considered a lie by omission to some but once again it does not define who you are and only a small part of what you do for a living. Almost like a second job.

 

It all goes back to what you feel comfortable in telling people but many are not so forgiving and are hypocrites so for many women it is an don't ask, don't tell type policy. Now if you were getting romantically involved with someone, that's a whole different ballgame and you'd have to upfront about it. JMO.

 

I also do have other professional career as well. However, it still does not explain my lifestyle, shoe fetish, hehehh, and the akward scheduling.

But yes it is all about comfort level.

[roamingguy 300292]

Just a thought about this concern about a lie of omission. Does everyone tell everyone else everything about their life. There are things I've shared with family, and only family, things I've shared with friends and only friends, and things shared here on CERB and with ladies, and things shared that overlap

with family/friends/CERB-ladies...not to mention things that are kept to myself

They really aren't lies of omission, we just allow, depending on the person, a glimpse into what makes us unique. Just because someone becomes a new friend doesn't entitle him/her to know everything about you, boundries must always be respected

A quick rambling

RG