johnsvp 523 Report post Posted November 13, 2011 There must be a lot of people who are undateable and who are denied physical intimacy, which must be one of our basic needs. There are many reasons why someone is undateable. Religion causes many people to be psychologically paralysed, as much so as anyone who's body doesn't function adequately. I am one of these. The anxiety caused by intimacy is intense. When you add to this that society has tried to prevent anything sexual outside of a family / marriage setting, the roadblocks become higher and higher. Can you imagine a world where sexuality was accepted as much as violence? Then you add in the laws surrounding the issues and you are faced with a wall. It has taken me years to be comfortable with lap dancers, but oh my, the pleasure of engaging someone physically, the energy that flows back and forth is wonderful. How about some advice and recommendations on how someone goes to the next level ? I like small petite women ( someone who won't hurt me if she sits on my knee ) which I believe you refer to as spinners. I have issues with trust. This is not like going to a grocery store and picking items from a shelf. I have fears about disease which according to the news is spiralling out of control. Perhaps I have no business being part of CERB as I am not a hobbyist. Perhaps you can get a good laugh at a mid fifties guy who is so clueless. Perhaps you can be kind and sympathetic, and offer advice and recommend a beautiful woman who is able to take me over the hurdles. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maverick 2873 Report post Posted November 13, 2011 I would suggest you browse the recommendations for your local area and find a provider you are interested in and just send her a message or email to talk. Get to know her a bit online and if there is some sort of connection or comfort level there, maybe plan a social encounter to ease your way into it, rather than just starting in the bedroom. Also, the media likes to sensationalize issues like STIs, the rates are actually quite low and the effectiveness of safe play (e.g. condoms & dental dams) makes it a very safe environment if you want it to be. In addition, from what I have read, SPs get tested a lot more often than average women do. Lastly, remember that these women are professional and many on this website are very good at what they do. They have a lot of experience with shy or anxious guys and you might be surprised at how relaxed they can make you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Winnipegcub 21293 Report post Posted November 13, 2011 John, I agree with Maverick. Using the city you are in (Ottawa) look under both the recommendations and the ladies ads. Find one who shows the looks but perhaps more importantly, the personality that you think you will have a good time with. When I first joined I took a few weeks just reading various posts and getting to know who I might connect with before contacting anyone. It proved quite valuable and I still do that today when visiting a new city. This site has a variety of ladies. But something I find the all have in common is their professionalism. Although I hear your circumstances and concerns...you'll be pleasantly surprised how respectfully these ladies will respond. Best of luck and enjoy! Cub Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madisson 100 Report post Posted November 13, 2011 Hey I have some advice for you:) PM me! xox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) There are many wonderful ladies out there. Just be honest with them, be respectful and courteous at all times. Treat them like ladies, because they are, and be a gentleman at all times with them. You will find as you continue in this lifestyle you will meet ladies you will want to see again As for ladies to see, look in the Ottawa recommendations section of CERB. A good place to start looking for a lady to have an encounter with Oh, and as for being clueless, I started seeing SP's when I was 49, and three years after a bad breakup In my case, I'm dateless because for personal reasons, I gave up on dating/relationships. But I find much more satisfaction seeing SP's than in conventional dating. And as for sti/stds, the ladies I've seen since partaking in this lifestyle are far more educated and practice safe sex than a lot of woman I saw in my former LOL dating life. It is unfortunate that there is a stereotype that when you add money to the equation of human intimacy/sexuality, sti/stds all of a sudden emerge, probably more come from the bar scene, or people having indiscrete affairs or one night stands...well you get the idea Just saying so you don't have a preconceived stereotyped idea of seeing SP's Good luck, and have fun. RG Edited November 14, 2011 by r__m__g_uy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted November 14, 2011 It has taken me years to be comfortable with lap dancers, but oh my, the pleasure of engaging someone physically, the energy that flows back and forth is wonderful. True. Glad to hear you've been enjoying yourself... :) How about some advice and recommendations on how someone goes to the next level? I like small petite women (someone who won't hurt me if she sits on my knee) which I believe you refer to as spinners. As has been said already - head over to the Ottawa reco section, read around, and see if you like the sound of what you're reading about. In general... have you considered seeing a MA? That was how I started out dipping my toes into the ocean of fun that awaits, and I found it worked very well for me. And we have quite a few very good ones around. I have issues with trust. This is not like going to a grocery store and picking items from a shelf. As far as trust goes, I've never had any issues with trusting anyone I've met through CERB. People here understand discretion, if that's what you're worried about. Bear in mind also that the lady you're seeing is inevitably taking a far bigger risk than you are when arranging a meeting (Note: this is a whole other thread that flares up on occasion, and I don't want to kick if off here, but it needs to be said) I have fears about disease which according to the news is spiralling out of control. And when did the media last let tedious things like facts get in the way of a good scare-story? I'm not going to pretend that STIs aren't an issue - they are, of course, and it's a serious issue, and so responsible people (which is pretty much all of them here) will take it seriously. The ladies here care about their own health and also don't want to catch things, and everyone I've seen has been absolutely scrupulous about playing it safe. Bear in mind that anyone you meet through this forum is a professional, not some drunk girl in a bar. Having said all that... you're probably not going to enjoy yourself if you meet someone and spend the entire encounter worrying about it. And that would perhaps be another reason to start out by seeing MAs - the worst thing you can catch during a massage is flu, and you can get that anywhere. Perhaps I have no business being part of CERB as I am not a hobbyist. I wouldn't say that. It sounds like you've come to the right place. And Welcome! I hope you'll find this place fun as well as useful. Perhaps you can get a good laugh at a mid fifties guy who is so clueless.Perhaps you can be kind and sympathetic, and offer advice and recommend a beautiful woman who is able to take me over the hurdles. Remember, we were all clueless once :) And this forum is remarkable in its ability to be kind and supportive, as opposed to the relentless negativity you can find elsewhere. The only problem you're likely to have here is being spoilt for choice when it comes to finding a beautiful woman... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ou**or**n Report post Posted November 14, 2011 First - congratulations you've taken the first big step by posting and asking your questions. The above members have given you many sage answers. Take to heart that this activity can be done with a great deal of physical safety - much more so than most other forms of sexual contact as paid providers take safety very seriously. Think how much more seriously a professional contractor takes safety over someone doing a personal renovation and you'll get the general idea. The ladies here are professionals. Trust issues. If you keep the relationship professional there is nothing to worry about. Discretion is paramount to a ladies long term success and believe me they are usually far more concerned about their personal privacy than anything about you. In my 6+ years in the business I've never had the slightest hint of any lady looking to compromise my privacy in any form. Good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
