Perspective

[mrrnice2 157005]

Sometimes one can have a tendency to find yourself in a period of down time, when you have the blahs, when you are just out of sorts and nothing just seems quite right or quite good enough or quite satisfying enough. For some it may be pretty easy to go to that place, others go there rarely and the fortunate few perhaps never go there at all. For me of late I seem to go there more frequently than I wish to or certainly need to, and luckily for me I recognize it and take steps to alleviate it. One of my steps is to look at whatever it is, and then pull out the good from it, because there are always bright sides when one wishes to take that perspective.

For example, I recently broke my leg, and that certainly hampers my mobility, and everything that I do takes way longer than it used to. But then, if it were the other leg that I broke I would not be driving at all for six weeks. If I had not had the experience in previous times in my life when I learned how to use crutches and my wheelchair extensively, then this would not be as easy as it is. And a neighbour brought me biscuits and banana bread last night because of it. I am a fortunate man.

For the first Christmas ever, one of my kids will not be home for the holidays. But I am retired, and I can travel, and I am going to go see her for a few days at her home in December and we will have our own little personal Christmas. I am a fortunate man

My wife passed away totally unexpectedly a little over a year ago, and yes, it is hateful. But I look at her things and I smile and I look at pictures from my mind and I smile. I recall our times of being together for forty years, and I smile. I am a fortunate man.

I have an amazing family and amazing friends all of whom support me and help me, no matter what. I am a fortunate man.

What is truly amazing is that I have Cerb friends. Friends that in some cases, I have never even met. I have people that I could write a personal email to who would give of their time to reply with their wisdom and compassion and humour and best wishes. I am a fortunate man.

Perspective is everything. We just need to remember it sometimes. We are all fortunate if we decide to choose that point of view.

I am now smiling as I write this. So what is your perspective?

[ottawaadventurer 5114]

What a moving post. I share your perspective. I spent much of my life self-medicating... trying to kill the "pain". Then I realized that pain is relative, and that perspective is what matters. When "bad" things happen to me, it is usually simply a case of me not understanding "it"... usually, after some reflection, I can see what good can come from bad situations. Sometimes they turn out to not be bad at all.

 

Sometimes, they're just bad. Shit happens. What I have come to see is that I have a choice - to swell on the sadness, or do what you describe, and try to focus on the positives.

 

Thanks for posting this - it's always helpful to be reminded.

 

And, as an aside, I always laugh at threads like this because if I ever tried to explain the depth of some of the threads on this board, and the mutual support we often get here, "outsiders" would never believe it.

 

Peace, to all.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Well MrNice, that is a very touching post. I can see how you have been a very fortunate man, heartache aside that you have endured, you always see the best of everything and the big picture in life. I am sure you will have a very fullfilling life the rest of your days with the outlook on that have.

 

Like you, I always try to find ways to see the good things out of what seems to be a bad situation and can put you down in the dumps and in a bad spot real quick if you don't get a handle on it. Whether it be memories "remember the good times", make alternative plans due to a mishap, or just go out and enjoy life to the fullest....now ! While you can. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.

 

I also have found that Cerb can be a place to go and make me smile, laugh, have fun and relax and just be me. Something I needed in my life. Make friends. Some I have met. Some I hope to soon, and some I possibly never will. But like you said there are many you haven't met that you can just message and email with and realize how people really do care about other people and will share their thoughts and concerns with you. This is where I realized this the most. The compassion and genuine kindness that is out there.....it still amazes me :)

 

MrNice ....you really do inspire people here at Cerb to see the good in life and to be better people.....just keep on being you !!! Great post :)

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

A very thoughtful and honest post, Mrrnice2. We're fortunate to have you among us.

 

I know an elderly man who says that the thing he's learned in his life is that, in the end, it's not what we have, or what we've accomplished that really matters. It's the relationships we've formed that make the difference.

 

It sounds like you might agree with my friend. And I'm sure that, like him, what you put into your connections with other people makes a huge difference in their lives, too.

[roamingguy 300292]

I think this comes to a case of viewing the glass as half full or half empty

I've had my ups and downs in life. A medical condition diagnosed in my early 20's changed my life including career plans (actually dreams) completely. And I felt that I was at rock bottom, what I wanted to do since I was a kid I would never be able to do. But the job I got turned out to be very good salary/benefits wise, but more importantly, I met some people who turned out to be best friends and fishing buddies (actually introduced me to fishing, much more costly than seeing escorts btw LOL)...friends to this day

My parents divorced at around the same time. And to put it mildly, it was hell, for my brother and me. We were adults, and one parent playing guilt trips if we saw the other parent and so on. But when the grief of the divorce waned and parents didn't play us off against one another, well both parents were happier, and my brother and my relationship with our parents much better than immediate pre-divorce times

I've had hit/misses in the relationship field, all turned out at the time to be big misses, and certainly in a couple cases was heartbroken, thinking I'd lost the love of my life. But now, looking back, staying single, for me turned out to be the one thing correct in my life. It led me to CERB and seeing ladies, and has been one of the positives in my life, I've met some great ladies in person, and some wonderful people through board talk on CERB

One of the highlights of the day for me is coming on CERB, reading, posting

and generally finding a very positive community. And my monthly escape is seeing ladies and having a two to three hour escape. And the support from

some board members is touching. Long story short, I got ripped off in an encounter I had back in September. I was fuming, pi$$ed off, mad. Well a couple ladies found out, and provided moral support. Instead of viewing the glass half empty, I stepped back (took two days btw) and thought to myself, here are ladies concerned about me. So I thought, forget the September "encounter", think of all the good encounters you've had, will have, and the wonderful people you've met through CERB. Oh, and as if there isn't karma, about a week later I was contacted by another lady (a great lady btw) who's travel plans worked out with my schedule, and I had a great memorable encounter with her. It was just one of those unexpected but very pleasant surprises

I guess the point I'm coming to in all of this. Sometimes things do seem dark. But where one door closes, another door opens. Now I may seem philosophical somewhat, but after fifty years life experience and observations I tend to look at the glass half full. The relationships you form, the direction your life takes shapes you, and how you approach it determines whether these influences are positive or negative.

A very long winded rambling for what it's worth

RG

[Aspen Wilde 31370]

I couldn't agree more. If there's one thing I've learned over and over in my short time here on earth, is that your situation is just as dire as you think it is.

 

Despair breeds despair. Hope breeds hope. And it's up to you to pick which one you'll let flourish. To a large extent, it seems that the world you perceive is the world you live in.

 

Fancy that! And much like MrNice here, I've decided to make an effort towards the hopeful side of things.

[Old Dog 179138]

Perspective.

 

The greatest irony in terms of perspective is that it takes years to gain enough experience to understand what was so blatantly obvious when we were children:

 

Good things are good.

 

Bad things are bad.

 

You should love your family and friends.

 

You should like the people who make you feel happy, not because liking them gives you advantage.

 

Any day can be Christmas.

 

Telling a friend that you love them is special. You chose them to be a part of your life, they deserve to know that they make your life, a better life.

 

A kiss on the lips is better than a kiss on the cheek.

 

When you understand the big picture, the little things that go wrong just don't matter. No one cares that the socks don't match or that the quarter rolled into the sewer.

 

It's far more ingratiating to make someone smile with another smile than to write them a tome of love. It's quicker too.

 

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't try to seek deeper meaning in the simple wonders of life.

 

You only have one chance at life. Enjoy every day.

 

Inside each of us is a person that is absolutely wonderful. Share that person with the world.

 

Tomorrow is a promise, today is reality, yesterday is done. It's so much easier if you can keep all that in order.

 

If you finish the stuff you don't like to do quickly, you have more time to spend on the stuff you do like to do.

 

 

That's what I have... and I embrace the inner kid in me.....

[waterat 20911]

I love this John Prine song almost as much as I Love Norah Jones...!!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqSHPsY2bY4&feature=related

 

"It's a half an inch of water (or a happy enchilada) and you think you're gonna drown"

 

Or check out another of Prine's classics: Dear Abby! lol

 

Yes, perspective is everything and Mr. Nice2 has it pegged.

[Butterfly Kisses 2301]

I believe friends and family are necessary at these times. A connection with someone (and sometimes that connection happens in this hobby) can be very helpful. It all boils down to comfort with each other. We tend to attract the same people who react or see things in the same fashion as we do.

 

You are in control, look at yourself, then strive to make yourself attainable. the results will be rewarding.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Thanks for making me cry. Thanks for reminding me just how lucky we are. I am a fortunate woman.

[Code Blue 3585]

The glass is neither half full, nor half empty: it merely is. How you deal with its contents is what matters.

 

Dark events or days will always be challenging, but a post like that mrnice is one of the lights to brighten those darker times.

 

Thanks

 

CB

[Chanel Reign 28097]

I've always wondered about this glass half full/empty analogy. It indicates a person in stasis to me.

 

I believe (to use this analogy) that everyones' glass is full, but not always. Sometimes its half full, sometimes brimming over, and sometimes completely empty. What you do to fill it back up are your choices.

 

Pessimism and optimism can be found in everybody, so what's with the glass?

 

I have been blessed with living a rather interesting life in some rather ground breaking decades, done many things and pushed my boundaries and limits always.

 

I feel lucky that I can be centered in my being, and process the negative with as little collateral damage as possible. I have learned to pick my battles carefully and not care about the rest.

 

But man that glass can get dusty dry sometimes!

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

The metaphor of the half-empty glass seems incomplete to me. Surely what matters is what's in the glass. Is it champagne or battery acid?

[xmy556 6095]

generally, I try to live with this thought in mind...

 

 

.....so far, so good...

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

I like to think my glass is half empty because I shared it with someone who was thirsty.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

Perspective it is how we interpret things. Our point of view. A choice whether to be at one with something or not...a positive take, or a negative take.

 

I have been reading about this for a few days now. I had found this quote this morning...

 

"Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe directly we just experience our consciousness of the universe, our perception of it, so right, our only universe is perception."

Alan Moore

 

This actually blows my mind!

We all look at things differently. For example some can look at death and be at one with it, and think that the one that passed is better off..or we can look at death and become a crumbled mess and somewhat dead within ourselves. I think that may have something to do with our perception on the afterlife. We either fear it, or we embrace it. To me, we all pass someday, and yes, I believe while we are here we are to make the best of it. I had bought a pair of jeans once and on the inside of the waistband it read "We create our own future". I chose to take that as a positive way to live. What we do today, definitely reflects on us tomorrow. (sorry if I get off topic)

 

Also, I have thought on this...as people. When we initially meet someone, we "perceive" them in many different ways, like they are either a good or bad person, they are attractive, or they are not, are we not then judging?

 

As I have mentioned above...this topic blows my mind! There are so many different and unique ways we see things, and it is quite interesting how our minds work. I was told that many a philosopher and psychologist have been struggling with peoples perception on things...I think it is something that makes us all unique, and it is something that should never be figured out.

 

I have been pondering on this thread for 3 days now, trying to reply to it with heart and smarts, I have found that it was harder than expected. But these are my feelings on the topic, and I couldn't help myself...Very interesting thread Mrnice, Thank you for making me think...and think hard I did! I just hope what I had to say made any sense. But this was my addition.