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"Well if (insert name here) jumped off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge too? You are an idiot."

 

You wouldn't believe how many BASE jumpers grew up with moms who used to say this to them!

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quotes from the art of war - Sun Tzu. 600 BC

 

All warfare is based on deception.

 

Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.

 

The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities... It is best to win without fighting.

 

Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance.

 

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.

 

and Jack handy - " I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend.""

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"As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." Arthur Carlson, WKRP.

 

(Spending a leisurely Sunday afternoon in the tub drinking moonshine and watching WKRP in Cincinnati episodes on YouTube!)

 

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"All this the world well knows; yet none knows well

To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell." -Shakespear

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Having had some very lovely meetings with some literary local SP's (Nathalie Lefebvre and Julie Wilde) when I found these two quotes I knew I had to bring the up here.

 

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers"

Charles William Eliot

"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them."

 

John Waters

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Guest W***ledi*Time

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

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I've often found that the good and the bad in life are thoroughly intermingled. I believe that trying to avoid the bad will not get you the best outcome a lot of the time. There's a lot of chance involved, and a lot of luck comes from your ability to adapt. So I like the following observations by Casanova and Sartre.

 

My success and my misfortunes, the bright and the dark days I have gone through, everything has proved to me that in this world, either physical or moral, good comes out of evil just as well as evil comes out of good.

Giacomo Casanova

 

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Jean-Paul Sartre

 

 

I like the next quote because it explains something I never could without sounding bleak and depressing. I have always tried to explain it this way: I can't think about the past without feeling some sense of impending doom. I couldn't put my finger on it for a long time, but I eventually worked out that my sense of continuity between who I was and who I am is not very strong. So the feeling of doom was the feeling that in a few years I would be gone and someone else would be there. It's not as awful as it sounds, and as I said, the next quote puts it much better than I do.

 

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

Anatole France

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And now for something a little less high-minded... :)

 

I spent 90% of my money on women, drink and fast cars. The rest I wasted.

-- George Best

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"Life is a series of short stories pretending to be a novel." Anonymous.

 

I've liked that one since I first heard it in my 20s, and it's only grown in truth as I've aged. We're inconsistent creatures, and the events in our lives are often disjointed and arbitrary. We try to weave them into something like a consistent narrative as we look back, but...

 

Plus, each of us is a multitude; there are different "us"-es at play at different times, and they don't always make sense to each other.

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Some of my favourite Mark Twain quotes

 

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it

 

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

In order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

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Guest Por******tawa

"It's precisely because of the pain, precisely because we want to overcome that pain, that we can get the feeling, through this process, of really being alive."

Haruki Murakami

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"Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once"

Paul Coelho

"It's what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future"

Paulo Coelho

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"Holy mother of god, what the hell are you doing???"

 

Me, to the doctor inserting his finger in my hindquarters on a recent check-up.

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"Holy mother of god, what the hell are you doing???"

 

Me, to the doctor inserting his finger in my hindquarters on a recent check-up.

 

Holy F--CK what the hell do you think your doing

 

Me, to the doctor after finding out he had both hands on my shoulders while claiming to be doing a check up LOL

RG :-)

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"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."

 

Emo Philips

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Found on a tumblr page:

"I wanna have sex with Leanna Decker, real bad."

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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system. - Anonymous.

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Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it

 

- M.Twain

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