How do you feel when your favorite SP retires?

[YoungStud 468]

Yeah, it's a bummer for sure. However, if you really like them (and vice-versa) and have some sort of personal connection, it's possible sometimes to carry on the relationship after they've left the business. Or sometimes, just stay in touch on a non-sexual, friendly way.

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

I for one have made great friends in this wonderful community and will continue to be friends with them after I leave the business (which hopefully won't be anytime soon). I also have a friend who had to leave the business for other reasons and her and I are still great friends. I hope all the lovely ladies leaving the business stay in touch, we REALLY enjoy there company as friends and members of our wonderful community here!

 

I wish them all well in thier NEW endevours in life!

 

Cheers,

 

Cherry:lol:

[slurp 7020]

SA, I'm sure you're aware of many of the posts here about relationships with SPs and clients and that sort. So your feelings should not seem so odd to you.

 

Everyone knows that I have some strong bonds with a few girls I've seen for a long time. It happens and doesn't seem odd at all to me. After you spend a lot of time with a person it has to happen, if it doesn't you wouldn't spend all that time with them.

 

One of my ATF has retired and un-retired several times. I've been sad, hurt, mad, depressed and happy, hopeful and elated ... sometimes all in a matter of seconds. I've been involved in her life and know more about her personal life than any client should. When her bf does her wrong I want to go tear him apart. When she takes him back I want to tell her goodbye forever for being so stupid. Not because we're madly in love .... because we have become VERY good close friends. I care about my friends and she is one of my closest, yet also the one that causes me the most heartache. Knowing her as I do I understand why she does the things that tick me off. But she is my friend and I stick with her.

 

When one of my ATF got busted I shed some tears. I don't think it's wierd, I care about her as a person. She wasn't someone I was seeing to just get my rocks off, she was a person I got to know and wondered how this would affect her family and all sorts of things. I was worried about her and still am. Doesn't seem unusual to me.

 

I dread the day C retires, unless she stays local and we stay in touch. No one else takes me out for dinner and tries to stuff me until I burst and then asks me why I'm getting fat. Who will I offer my sage advice on baseball gambling to? Luckily she ignores me and wins ..... No more helping to make her understand some legalities she's trying to figure out or teach her more english or learn chinese from her.

 

But these things will all happen, they always do. People constantly come and go in our lives and it's always best to take and cherish what good things we've shared with them. I don't regret geting close to any of the women in the hobby that I have, they've enriched my life in one way or another. And I sincerely hope they feel similar about me.

 

We meet people in all sorts of ways and it all helps make us who we are. SPs are just as good of friends as anyone else, perhaps better in some ways. There's no reason to wonder why you've gotten attached any more than to any other dear friends you've met over time. You're better for it.

[E.D. man 691]

A regular sp to me is like family I cherish them and my loss. Sometimes we have to care about people from afar. But that is life!:-D8)

[capitalman 3861]

Good thread, hope you don't mind if I post. Being a very emotional person it struck a cord with me.

 

When a favourite SP retires, I feel everything! Deserted, abandoned, lonely, rejected. As true and okay as these feelings are, they're all selfish feelings though.

 

If I really care I should be happy for the girl! The only problem is when I've been led on, led to believe they care back...and then they go and retire without even a goodbye. That hurts. You suddenly realize you were lied to.

 

But as Cat said back in October, maybe they didn't lie to you instead they just needed to cut all ties so they can walk away and find a different life.

 

I've had the same experience in my life. Many years ago I walked away from my life and had to leave all my friends behind with it. I did say goodbye though. That gave them and me some closure I guess. I felt guilty hurting a few of them, but I had to do it for myself, to get away and cut all the ties that bound me to that lifestyle and allow myself to walk into a new life without anything holding me back. So I understand a retiring SP, I really do. If she's serious about changing, she's got to have a clean break, cold turkey, and launch into her new life 100% committed to it. No ghosts haunting her. No reminders. Of course she can't forget the past, but she needs to distance herself from it or she won't be able to leave it behind.

 

And as others have said, you meet people throughout life and you leave people throughout life. A little piece of them is always with me, and hopefully a little piece of me is always with them as well.

 

I've seen a lot of death in my life and it's the same. The people live on through my memories. Same with a retired SP...all I have to do is close my eyes and remember, and I've got them back again. Nobody can ever take that away.

[MandalayBay 575]

I love this thread and have enjoyed every single word written here. Kudos to SA for having the courage to start this thread and the rest of the men for opening their hearts.

 

I, too, have difficulty keeping my emotions at bay for certain clients. My work tends to be more courtesan now and I have developed relationships with gentlemen I see on a regular basis.

 

I know I'm not going to stay in this industry forever, but the thought of losing the friendship of some of my clients after retirement truly makes my heart ache. As strange as it sounds, I know that when my retirement does eventually come, I will reminisce on certain clients with the same feelings and thoughts I have for old flames/boyfriends. I truly adore certain clients and sometimes my heart skips a beat and I get butterflies before seeing them.

[capitalman 3861]

Again, I can't wait to visit Winnipeg! :)

[m*******e 103]

This is a very special thread. To see it come up again and having read through it one more time brought back many memories and very strong emotions. So strong that I am trying to re-compose myself so that I can get back to work and function to some acceptable level. In reading some of the posts there was one that said why post your feelings here, why not tell her how you feel. Well, in some ways, in some small ways, on a few occassions I did. Maybe not so directly in words but in some kind of words and in many actions. I actually think and believe that it is a difficult subject to talk about openly given the lives and situation of both parties. After knowing each other for so long I now think we both know the feelings between us but we both are very careful about plunging to deep onto this subject because of its implications on both our emotions and lives. We do test the waters, we dabble in it, we laugh and enjoy it, and I know there are very brief moments when we are together and talking or singing or just briefly looking at each other that we both know there is something very unique and special here that continues to evolve and will continue to do so somehow. It takes 2 very strong minded people to walk that fine line for so long knowing they can cross it briefly for that sense of emotional happiness, security and even sadness but also know that they can really never ever ever saty on the other side for very long - that would change everything - everything that makes this special, unique and irreplaceable. In this crazy world we live in, it is rather rare but when it happens special and unique to feel your emotions and soul awakend in which mine were and still are - The only saving grace is the head on my shoulder to help me deal with this situation now and forever as best as I can.

[coachg 388]

Well put monamie.....it is like you reached inside my head and pulled out my exact thoughts....my new fav EP and I do walk that fine line you describe and cross back and forth for those brief moments of total happiness....it is a very special bond between the two of us that is absolutley amazing...but I agree if you stay on the other side for very long, things would change, where they might disrupt what we have, and that is a chance I am not willing to take. I know that someday it may end due to a number of reasons and I have taken the ostrich approach.....bury my face in the sand.....I know it will be painful, but I will deal with that as best I can when the time comes. Right now it is all about just enjoying those special moments!! This a great thread that exposes the compassionate and human side of all the special people involved and makes it about more than just the sex....which is a great thing. Thanks to everybody for sharing their thoughts..very insightful.

[Apex2006 1071]

I feel like I need to find a new one!

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I hope all the lovely ladies leaving the business stay in touch, we REALLY enjoy there company as friends and members of our wonderful community here!

 

I wish them all well in thier NEW endevours in life!

 

Cheers,

 

Cherry:lol:

 

 

Well said cherrykiss. You said it for all of us, I am sure. You are a mind reader or you have a sweet mind. Thanks.

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

Every girl is unique and can not be replaced, you will have those feelings for the rest of your life. But, we can look @ the brighter side which is the happyness that it brings you to remember your time spent with her! I know every guy I have been with has changed my life in some way! And I will hold a piece of them in my heart forever, but as in life all good things must come to an end at some point. I currently have one of my longest clients who has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and I am helping him live what time he has left to the fullest, and I do not regret a moment of time I have spent with him. Even when he gets too sick to see me, I will still remain friends with him. We have an everlasting bond that could never be broken even in death!

[YoungStud 468]

That's very sweet and generous of you, CK.

[redstorm 121]

I have been hobbying for the past few years.

 

I had three ATFs. My first one after she retired, I thought I would never replace her, then came another. She wasn't a clone of the first. She had her unique personality and body. I didn't want the same, just something who could connect. Then she retired.

 

My last ATF, we saw each other for almost 2 1/2 years.

She was very special, our first meeting was a comedy of errors. But I knew

that she was very special. I continued to see her more and other ladies less.

 

Then I reached a point that I was very comfortable with her, and dates become longer, dinner dates ensued and then overnights and trips.

I knew things wouldn't last and when we parted, she left a huge void in my life.

 

I was afraid that I could never achieve that level. For a few months I stopped. Then I met someone who made me realize that I should experience new people, pleasures and experiences. I will always thank her for that and now I hope to expand my horizons and don't live in the past.

 

I will always have memories of my three ATF, they helped through tough times and my darkest hours and I will always be grateful for that. And I hope to meet new people and have fun.

 

Redstorm

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

I have been hobbying for the past few years.

 

I had three ATFs. My first one after she retired, I thought I would never replace her, then came another. She wasn't a clone of the first. She had her unique personality and body. I didn't want the same, just something who could connect. Then she retired.

 

My last ATF, we saw each other for almost 2 1/2 years.

She was very special, our first meeting was a comedy of errors. But I knew

that she was very special. I continued to see her more and other ladies less.

 

Then I reached a point that I was very comfortable with her, and dates become longer, dinner dates ensued and then overnights and trips.

I knew things wouldn't last and when we parted, she left a huge void in my life.

 

I was afraid that I could never achieve that level. For a few months I stopped. Then I met someone who made me realize that I should experience new people, pleasures and experiences. I will always thank her for that and now I hope to expand my horizons and don't live in the past.

 

I will always have memories of my three ATF, they helped through tough times and my darkest hours and I will always be grateful for that. And I hope to meet new people and have fun.

 

Redstorm

 

This brought me to tears, thank you for sharing this with us redstorm, you truely have a pure heart!

 

I hope you live life to it's fullest and make sure every minute counts!

 

Life is too short and we have to enjoy what we have been blessed with!

 

Cherry

[redstorm 121]

Thank you Cherrykiss.

 

I have been on many boards but I find this one to be the most friendliest boards. I just wanted to share my experiences and hope it helps others.

 

Meeting the wonderful women here on the board and in the chatroom shows that indeed Ottawa and Montreal still have many things above Toronto.

 

I hope to visit soon and enjoy the city and what it offers.

 

I learn now that indeed life is short, enjoy every moment like it may be the last. But don't be too cynical. Go with the flow or you will get your ass kicked.

 

Redstorm

[cordsboy 184]

I must be to new to the scene not to have someone retire on me...(I'm sure my time will come) I'm also one to stick with an SP that I like so I do not tend to venture out to far; but I can only imagine the feeling. I agree with most posts so far the connection with some SP's does get intense at times. I guess it depends on what you're looking for in an SP, if it's just a late night call down an endless list of available girls then I would guess the odds of you seeing them again or missing them is slim. If your lucky enough to find a great SP and start seeing them more frequently then you run the risk of feeling hurt (no fault to the SP) when them leave the business. But I agree 100% when the girl decides to leave the business this is most likely a good thing.

[YoungStud 468]

If you feel hurt after your regular sp retires isn?t this a real and TRUE GFE?

 

I'm pretty cynical about the whole GFE thing, as those who have read my many boring posts on the subject already know. Lol. I think it's mostly fun sex for money (and sometimes not even that) in the view of most providers. Though some do come to like some clients on a personal level. But not as "real life" boy friends, for the most part.

 

However, if you feel hurt after your regular SP retires, I think that reflects a genuine level of affection on your part. What she was really feeling? YMMV. But in this case, it's your feelings that matter. Even if you were lying to yourself in a big way, you still cared on some genuine level, even if she didn't really. And you may never know for sure.

 

True GFE? For me that phrase is really kind of meaningless. Real connections between human beings? Value each and every one of them.

[ottanon 2930]

I beleive its hard not to devolp feelings for your special Sp that you visit on a regular basis. Afterall you are sharing very intimate moments and if you have been seeing the same person for years an attachment does form.

[Bethany Westbrooke 7532]

Dug this thread up because I have been thinking about a former client who "retired" on me lately. No reason why, no explanation, just a disappearance from my life and from CERB. I know he had to leave, don't know why, but it doesn't change my feeling of losing a close friend.

 

I can completely understand what SecretAdmirer, CherryKiss and others were going through in their posts. It is hard to let go of special friendships like these, even if they are professional. It might be different coming from an SP or MP as we have more than one regular client, but then again, there are some clients who also have more than one regular provider.

 

I hope he is well and that he knows he is missed... I was lucky to have him in my life the past 2 years...

[Birdboy 10482]

I know the feeling well, of when a favorite retires. It's the loss of a friendship, a loved one. In some cases it's like they've died. That this thread has been resurrected a few times says just how evergreen this topic is. I wrote this story about the retirement of a favorite a few years ago, that pretty much sums it up.

 

.....................................................................

 

Pooner Diaries: Retiree

 

It's a bittersweet day.

 

We spoke today when I came to visit. You told me about your new career. I saw the excitement in your eyes, heard the enthusiasm in your voice. It's truly a great opportunity for you, and I know that this is what you always wanted. You're going to move on from this phase of your life. Pull that ad. Close that email address, change your cellphone number. Peel away that identity that you've worked to perfect all these years, like a snake shedding its old skin and past life.

 

I'm happy for you, I truly am. But I can't help but feel a little sadness at this passing. We've shared a lot of time together, my favorite. We've known a lot of joy together. But beyond that joy and the commercial exchange, we have become friends after a fashion as well.

 

But our friendship has nowhere to go, both literally and figuratively. I remember the day when we passed by each other in the street. We were both alone, and we could have spoken, I suppose. But discretion requires us to pass by without a word. If anyone was watching us, they would have seen me pass by, a half-smile on my face as I looked away the only clue that we knew each other. And without my coming by every so often to visit, that friendship will wither away from neglect. And I'm just going to let it go.

 

I asked if I could stay in touch. And I saw the quickly passing flicker in your eyes that told me it wasn't to be, as your words assured me that we would. For I recognized that you were in character then, as the pliant and ever willing woman, eager to please, ready to do my bidding. The woman that I know is not really you, in other words. The woman that will be shed along with this identity. So we will be close by to each other, but miles apart.

 

This is a strange business. Neither of us is supposed to care, outside that hour. That's not part of the bargain. But it's impossible not to, at least a little. And this change is wonderful for you. It's what you've dreamed about, your goal, your final payoff from your time spent with me and others. So yes, I feel glad for you.

 

And I feel a little sad, for me.

[Guest Dj******e]

I met a dancer (Kyra). She was great. After a certain number of dances, I convinced her to do some "private" work.

 

Now she has retired and moved out of town. We stayed in touch but I wont have the chance, I fear, to touch her again.

 

Make me sad just to think about it.

 

Thank you CERB... :(

[luvdancers 135]

I know the feelings we're speaking about here. I have an intuition that my current 'regular' SP may be getting close to pulling the plug. If that is indeed the case, it will leave a huge hole in my life....

 

There have been times when, before, during and after particularly warm encounters -- and pretty open chat and sharing -- I have had the impulse to use the L word.

 

But I can't say it. I don't dare. So I never have. It's just an odd, very close but not real love 'relationship'. It cannot go anywhere. It just IS.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

But I can't say it. I don't dare. So I never have. It's just an odd, very close but not real love 'relationship'. It cannot go anywhere. It just IS.

 

You summed up what I had thinking about the last few days after I had seen a regular who I had been seeing for a number of years and it's a closeness that just feels right.

 

In life we meet people we do not expect to meet and what you have between one another will not take to real life, it is still special as other relationships we have acquired elsewhere.

[Andee 220524]

With Sara McQuestion's recent retirement, it occurred to me that it's not only clients who may be sad to see an SP retire, but also other SP friends that she was friends with that had that aspect of her life, in common with.

 

I will miss her creative and often off the wall announcements. I kind looked forward to seeing her new posts to see if she what new and witty prose she would come up with.

 

I am sure she will be sorely missed by those gents who had the chance to meet her. And I am sure there a few guys kicking themselves that they didn't get around to seeing her.

 

I would like to make a toast to Sara McQuestion.

Retired and already missed.