YMMV - A client's guide to a passionately wonderful time

[bcguy42 38594]

Things are a little slow at work so I've just reread this whole thread. I would suggest that the thread be moved to the "Hey, if you are new, you should read this" (I forgot the actual name of the section) because there is a lot of good advice here. Not just about adjusting the nature of an encounter to maximize the benefits - I think that's the polite way to put the original question - but also some good lessons regarding posting, phrasing, and discussion.

 

Most importantly, there is a whole lot of good advice in the thread that could lead to improved outcomes.

 

But, of course, YMMV.

[roamingguy 300292]

RG,

 

I totally respect your posts and value your contributions. However, I must disagree here - I read Emily's post but I don't think you totally understood what I said.

 

It is just not accurate to say that less than satisfying encounters are totally the client's fault. That's not a popular sentiment here - and I usually keep my head down to avoid these types of discussions - but I could not, in good conscience, let this pass because it's unfair to men and does not promote honest discussion that I think we're all capable of and would benefit from.

 

First off thank you for the compliment, it is appreciated

And maybe, not with you, but with hb and his thread, wanting to know how to get that "extra mile" I find somewhat off putting, so I can imagine how the ladies would take to it. It is the assumption that some men are "just" getting what they paid the lady for, but some other guys are getting that, plus something extra...this magical UUMPHHH!!!" whatever that is. And it does come across a bit like trying to get something more, something extra from a lady

And my response is more towards the line of thinking, "basically some guys get the UUMPHHH, why can't we"

There is, as in all interactions between people, chemistry. And if two people just don't click, they aren't going to click. And yes, I've had a couple less than good encounters, and chemistry was a factor.

I behave like a gentleman (at least I think I do) towards the ladies, and have had encounters which aren't just memorable, but a memory too. I also don't have encounters with any expectations of what will take place. I am with a lady, and let the encounter just unfold naturally. And in all likelihood the guys who are happy with their encounters aren't getting anything extra (still like to know what this extra is btw) they just enjoy and appreciate the encounter and companionship the lady provides, there's nothing "extra", the encounter is "UMPHHH" enough

RG

[VedaSloan 119179]

Basically, there are a few things you can do to up your chances of a wonderful appointment, but even then, there are still going to be SP's and clients, who despite their best efforts, just don't click. It happens.

 

That being said, here is what you can do to up your chances:

 

-BE CLEAN--this means showering before the appointment and making sure everything is squeaky clean (this is always important, but even moreso if you are seeing a provider who offers bbbj--because let me just say, nothing is grosser than cheese dick. You know what I'm talking about).

 

-BE POLITE--nothing is a bigger turn-off than offensive questions and comments. If you are not sure if something you want to ask or say might be offensive, err on the side of caution and don't say it. Or, at least preface it with some kind of disclaimer, "I'm really not trying to offend you, I am just curious if...." Don't ever ask personal questions such as "what's your real name?" or "do you have a boyfriend?" Just as I would NEVER inquire about your personal life, by the same token, I would hope that you would not ask me personal questions. It's one thing if the SP or client offers up this information, it's quite another to ask for it.

 

-RESPECT BOUNDARIES--this is kind of a sub-category to being polite. Most of us state very clearly on our websites and in our ads what our restrictions are. Don't try to cross those boundaries. Saying things like, "Oh I'm really good looking" or "but I've been married for 20 years!" isn't going to make us change our minds. We put those restrictions in our ads and on our websites so that we don't have to sit down with you at the beginning of the appointment to go over what is appropriate and what isn't. Because nothing kills a mood more than "Ok, so you can do this, but don't ever do this. And if you do this, I'll do this." Etc. If you're not sure, ASK FIRST. Don't just do it and hope it's okay with the provider. Just as I would never stick my finger up your ass without asking first, don't stick your finger up mine without asking, even if you read in a review that I'm okay with ass-fingering (just an example).

 

That's pretty much it. If you can keep those straight, you should be golden.

[fortunateone 156618]

^^ and adding to this above:

 

- BE HUMBLE. Arrogance, sense of entitlement, and attitude are really unattractive no matter how beautifully you may be packaged. You may be paying, but the sp has chosen to see you and you are her guest. Act like a human.

[Guest h****hedl]

SIDENOTE:

As to clarify, if you have an SP over that you have written a review(s) for...DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO USE YOUR COMPUTER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (even as a courtesy to check their stuff at the end of their appointment - like saying "go ahead and use my phone") This could be reputation damaging, and definitely breaks rules that I hadn't considered. Honest mistake - I have nothing to hide.

 

@roamingguy: The extra UMMPHH (for lack of better terms) was meant having an amazing experience, even more amazing than the last time you saw that SP. Something I can do to make the experience better for the women (which obviously then makes it EVEN MORE pleasurable for the gent). And yes, mostly common sense answers were given from most members about hygiene, respect, and boundaries...all important.

 

But I would like to explain further... (I am sure some members are cringing...)

As for my post: I specifically was looking for what I believe kubrickfan and blue_eyes56 understand very well and discussed a while back when I couldn't add my two cents (under review), what does make women "tick"? Why it is so important for us as men to want this information. Maybe there is something very simple that I had not previously considered, that an SP would think weeks or months down the road: "wow, that guy was really awesome!" - not superficially - wanting to make the whole experience memorable.

 

As I know from my previous posts - I have ruffled some feathers and there was probably damage done that could not be repaired for some (but could for others) such as life. I do always read everybody's responses without prejudice, and I do respect both sides of the discussion (Emily made good points in her later posts on this thread). I could have walked away and not posted again, but I have learned so much from those members that want to help and I thank them endlessly.

 

As a man, it is very easy to forget how un-nerving it would be to get with a stranger and try to fulfill their deepest fantasies. I really haven't put much thought (until now) into the worries that would occur throughout an appointment, so many X-factors I would take for granted. I mean, every gent out there has their reason for seeing SPs rather than searching for a more permanent mate. Not everybody is perfect at communicating their thoughts. And I completely agree that it is so much more than a physical date but "an emotional release". So when it comes to being alone with someone you would consider to have a body of a goddess, face like an angel and an attitude of a vixen...some gents may reach out for tips to just generally make everything better and possibly feel less intimidated if they know they will do something above and beyond to make the SP more at ease. (Thus, increasing comfort, and getting `privileges` she feels comfortable sharing with you.)

 

I am a very passionate person, and have always respected the boundaries of the SPs and played within them; I don't ever try to negotiate donations, am freshly showered, stay respectful and courteous throughout the appointment. Safe to say the ladies have treated me well in return. So, no I am not looking to "squeeze" anything out of anybody! I was truly thinking this was an excellent subject that would somehow reveal the secrets that make women fulfilled and I finally think (thanks to the those that did read it the way I meant it to be read) that this thread is headed in the right direction. I guess it always will remain a mystery, trying to understand and give the woman what SHE wants.

 

I truly thought this could be a win-win thread:

Gents: Would have a new arsenal of tricks up there sleeves to make the experience wonderful for the SP (How could an SP not want that?). Of course in return will be a more fulfilling experience for the gent. ("Extra UMMPPHH" if you will)

 

SPs: Would be able to share POSITIVE past experiences of having their hearts melted by a special client or complete stranger. A chance to suggest how you would like a meeting to go. Sharing something personal, opening up. In hind-sight maybe not the best forum to expect these kind of responses. Sounds like another lesson learned. My motives were sincere.

 

I am sure this will somehow offend somebody, but what the hay...the positive feedback received from these threads far out-weighs being cleverly lip-serviced by a select few.

(Just my opinion - please put the stakes and torches away)

 

8)

hb

[Guest E*******h S******s]

SIDENOTE:

As to clarify, if you have an SP over that you have written a review(s) for...DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO USE YOUR COMPUTER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (even as a courtesy to check their stuff at the end of their appointment - like saying "go ahead and use my phone") This could be reputation damaging, and definitely breaks rules that I hadn't considered. Honest mistake - I have nothing to hide.

 

@roamingguy: The extra UMMPHH (for lack of better terms) was meant having an amazing experience, even more amazing than the last time you saw that SP. Something I can do to make the experience better for the women (which obviously then makes it EVEN MORE pleasurable for the gent). And yes, mostly common sense answers were given from most members about hygiene, respect, and boundaries...all important.

 

But I would like to explain further... (I am sure some members are cringing...)

As for my post: I specifically was looking for what I believe kubrickfan and blue_eyes56 understand very well and discussed a while back when I couldn't add my two cents (under review), what does make women "tick"? Why it is so important for us as men to want this information. Maybe there is something very simple that I had not previously considered, that an SP would think weeks or months down the road: "wow, that guy was really awesome!" - not superficially - wanting to make the whole experience memorable.

 

As I know from my previous posts - I have ruffled some feathers and there was probably damage done that could not be repaired for some (but could for others) such as life. I do always read everybody's responses without prejudice, and I do respect both sides of the discussion (Emily made good points in her later posts on this thread). I could have walked away and not posted again, but I have learned so much from those members that want to help and I thank them endlessly.

 

As a man, it is very easy to forget how un-nerving it would be to get with a stranger and try to fulfill their deepest fantasies. I really haven't put much thought (until now) into the worries that would occur throughout an appointment, so many X-factors I would take for granted. I mean, every gent out there has their reason for seeing SPs rather than searching for a more permanent mate. Not everybody is perfect at communicating their thoughts. And I completely agree that it is so much more than a physical date but "an emotional release". So when it comes to being alone with someone you would consider to have a body of a goddess, face like an angel and an attitude of a vixen...some gents may reach out for tips to just generally make everything better and possibly feel less intimidated if they know they will do something above and beyond to make the SP more at ease. (Thus, increasing comfort, and getting `privileges` she feels comfortable sharing with you.)

 

I am a very passionate person, and have always respected the boundaries of the SPs and played within them; I don't ever try to negotiate donations, am freshly showered, stay respectful and courteous throughout the appointment. Safe to say the ladies have treated me well in return. So, no I am not looking to "squeeze" anything out of anybody! I was truly thinking this was an excellent subject that would somehow reveal the secrets that make women fulfilled and I finally think (thanks to the those that did read it the way I meant it to be read) that this thread is headed in the right direction. I guess it always will remain a mystery, trying to understand and give the woman what SHE wants.

 

I truly thought this could be a win-win thread:

Gents: Would have a new arsenal of tricks up there sleeves to make the experience wonderful for the SP (How could an SP not want that?). Of course in return will be a more fulfilling experience for the gent. ("Extra UMMPPHH" if you will)

 

SPs: Would be able to share POSITIVE past experiences of having their hearts melted by a special client or complete stranger. A chance to suggest how you would like a meeting to go. Sharing something personal, opening up. In hind-sight maybe not the best forum to expect these kind of responses. Sounds like another lesson learned. My motives were sincere.

 

I am sure this will somehow offend somebody, but what the hay...the positive feedback received from these threads far out-weighs being cleverly lip-serviced by a select few.

(Just my opinion - please put the stakes and torches away)

 

8)

hb

 

I'm gonna take a stab at this since I can't sleep:

 

For me a good appointment is where a client has communicated efficiently, answering all of my questions without hesitation or complaint, is on time and clean. Hand over the envelope before the clothes come off and we are good to go!:icon_mrgreen:

 

A great appointment is where there is a natural chemistry between myself and the client. A talented SP can make the vast majority of her clients feel that chemistry whether she is feeling it or not. Speaking for myself, that chemistry isn't always there. That's not to say that I don't have fun with what I do, or that I didn't orgasm. With real chemistry, there is almost an audible "click" when all the tumblers fall into place and you know you are in for the time of your life.

 

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that there is no answer to "what women want". We aren't part of a Borg Collective, we have as varied tastes as we do figures and hair styles. What is going to work for one woman ain't gonna work for another.

 

Be clean, respectful and prompt, yes. Most importantly however, be yourself. We aren't looking to be impressed. We are happy when you walk in pleased and walk out satiated. That works.

[justplayin 102]

I'm gonna take a stab at this since I can't sleep:

 

For me a good appointment is where a client has communicated efficiently, answering all of my questions without hesitation or complaint, is on time and clean. Hand over the envelope before the clothes come off and we are good to go!:icon_mrgreen:

 

A great appointment is where there is a natural chemistry between myself and the client. A talented SP can make the vast majority of her clients feel that chemistry whether she is feeling it or not. Speaking for myself, that chemistry isn't always there. That's not to say that I don't have fun with what I do, or that I didn't orgasm. With real chemistry, there is almost an audible "click" when all the tumblers fall into place and you know you are in for the time of your life.

 

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that there is no answer to "what women want". We aren't part of a Borg Collective, we have as varied tastes as we do figures and hair styles. What is going to work for one woman ain't gonna work for another.

 

Be clean, respectful and prompt, yes. Most importantly however, be yourself. We aren't looking to be impressed. We are happy when you walk in pleased and walk out satiated. That works.

 

Well said... Being clean, well groomed, and respectful almost always gets you towards the upper end of the YMMV spectrum in my experience.

[bewlayb 7480]

Elizabeth said it best. Take care of the basics (hygiene, manners, etc) and be yourself. Let nature take care of the rest. With some ladies you'll click and you'll have a great old time. With others, maybe not so much clicking; but if you take care of basics, you'll probably still have a good time. Good to great... I can live with that. Can't you?

 

As for any tricks to share? LOL Any "smooth moves" I might have thought I had, were proven ineffective long ago and many times over (although I may have a few worn-out "101 techniques" books I could lend you, if you want to try for yourself). My best advice: Be yourself, live in the moment, and just enjoy the God-given gift she's sharing with you.

 

p.s. But hey, if you really want to try something special... I've heard a little Stan Getz works wonders... you know, a little smooth music on the stereo (TW).

[Guest C*****tte]

My response is very similar to Elizabeth's.

 

I am quite happy when my appointments have all the things I consider basic from the first contact to when I leave their room. Polite communication that follows my screening requests, good hygiene, gentlemanly manners, payment without having to request it etc...

 

I know part of my job is to create satisfying intimate experiences and that requires some communication and sharing during the appointment. I am not a mind reader and I don't expect my clients to be either. I let them know what I enjoy and hope they can do the same. I enjoy a variety of things, but everyone is different and some clients are a better match for me and I for them. Its a numbers game.

 

Appointments that turn out to be spectacular are those where we really click. We have things in common but not identical lives, there is an easy going rapport and a natural sexual chemistry that you just cannot bottle up and sell. You cannot force these things whether its a professional meeting or your personal life.

 

I think though for me its easy to have a a great appointment if you are kind and genuine as that is what I try to offer my clients and what I wish in return.

 

What does turn me off and likely will not get you a good date out of me or a repeat are those clients who play games, push limits, are arrogant, hate their wives and want to tell me how horrible they are, think poorly of sex workers, judge me, or are generally angry bitter people. Unfortunately, I have experienced this.

[roamingguy 300292]

Hopefully my last chime in on this, although the ladies say it best

My encounters have been not just memorable, but memories as well. And yes, there was UMPHHH (don't like the term, only used because it was a term used at the outset)

I have had the pleasure of seeing a ladies from Hamilton to Ottawa. Each and every time I treated the ladies like a gentleman. And I'm not extra special, I just treat the ladies like a gentleman should. You will have great and mutually beneficial encounters if you are polite, well groomed, considerate and show respect for the lady.

From a guy's viewpoint

RG

[AndyofHalifax 15339]

WIT posted an excellent quote in the "Favourite Quotes" thread that pertains to this situation and does a good job paraphrasing what several have already stated.

 

"Be clean, be respectful, pretend it's a date, because it IS a pretend date." - Notorious Gentleman

 

(From the recently published "A Gentleman's Eye-View of Escorts":

http://www.sexlifecanada.ca/canada/national-sexlife-journal/gentlemans-eye-view-escorts)

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Here's an excellent thread Annessa started a while back.

It's called 'Things that make us ladies LOVE our jobs!'

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12396

[Phaedrus 209521]

BE CLEAN--this means showering before the appointment and making sure everything is squeaky clean (this is always important, but even moreso if you are seeing a provider who offers bbbj--because let me just say, nothing is grosser than cheese dick. You know what I'm talking about).

 

N.B. Bringing these is probably not an acceptable substitute for the above...

 

[VedaSloan 119179]

Quick addendum:

 

In addition to being clean, please go easy on the cologne/aftershave. While I enjoy a man who smells nice, too much and it gives me a headache and leaves my incall smelling for hours afterwards. Oh and please don't douse your privates in cologne either. It is REALLY REALLY gross to perform bbbj because it tastes like I accidentally sprayed perfume in my mouth. NUMMY.

[Luckyme 41401]

Here's an excellent thread Annessa started a while back.

It's called 'Things that make us ladies LOVE our jobs!'

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12396

 

Thank you, Gabriella, for this link. Reading it through makes me feel like reading some erotic love stories!