capitalman 3861 Report post Posted October 26, 2008 Cat said :"I can only speak for myself in these matters because providers have very personal and individualized rules about spending time with guests outside of work. Mine are really simple...as long as the clothes stay on there is no money on the table for my time. No expecation of an envelope is there, it's just time to have a little bit of real life fun." Do you think this is a reasonable expectation? As a client I've been invited to spend casual time with an SP, assuming that casual time was off the clock...only to find out later the SP was thinking it was on the clock. I guess the true meaning of the word escort applies here and she was thinking "Hell, I'm spending my time with this guy....naked or not, he's gotta pay me." I felt a used, but then I guess she did too. As always, communication is the key in life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
esoterica 624 Report post Posted October 26, 2008 (edited) I am not being facetious ... What about: If he asks her out, he should pay. If it is obviously not a "work-related event", and if she asks him out (e.g. to shop or for a meal) and initiates sex, he should not be obliged to pay. My question is: Should he offer? Edited October 27, 2008 by esoterica made my point less ambiguous Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seymour 3970 Report post Posted October 26, 2008 (edited) I think if you're meeting off the clock, it should still be discussed regarding donation. Chances are as the client, if you're doing this, you have met the lady before and feel comfortable with being with her so perhaps it is easier to raise the subject of donation for the off the clock encounter - just to get it right. Sometimes I guess it is possible to get caught up in the moment and the big head isn't the one doing the thinking. I agree with capitalman - communication is key. Alex - your situation sounds like you're being exploited and has potential to become more messy. Edited October 26, 2008 by Seymour remove repeat word. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted October 27, 2008 There is definitely a way to separate the fun and business side of things with good communication. I had an "adventure" with an SP not that long ago where, after our visit together, she joined me at a nearby strip club. This was entirely initiated by her in the course of just discussing our plans for the rest of the evening (she "likes" both girls and boys, as it turns out ... smile), and there was certainly an understanding it was off the clock and just for fun. As it was an outcall visit, I first walked her back to her hotel so she could change into street clothes, and then we went into the club together as a "couple," so to speak. The only dicey part was when she was when she got carded, and the bouncer stated her real first name. Boy, did I ever feel old. We had a great time, and I actually left before she did. In fairness, this is someone that I hit if off with very well, and I would never asked her to do this on my own. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted October 27, 2008 Well i think all arrangements should be discussed before hand. I recently took a fav sp to dinner and then we had an outcall at my place after. We discussed the timing and rates for dinner...was fairly nominal but I paid for her time, I paid for dinner and her outcall driver fees...we had a lot of fun and there was no misunderstandings or hard feelings about short changing or over charging. It is important to realize that her time is the commodity that puts bread on her table and her time is as precious as mine is when I'm conducting business...doesn't matter how much she may like me or I like her...she still has bills to pay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted October 27, 2008 I really appreciate the input here, these are all very valid posts. Back in the day I was taken advantage of with evening socials that were suppose to be work and then the envelope was light. They understood before hand the requirements. I would end up feeling resentful because I had little ones at home I would have rather been with and had I known I wasn't going to be compensated I would not have accepted. But as time goes on circumstances change, we change as people. When I arrived in Canada I decided to embrace the freedom I had forced on me and take advantage of the opportunity to really get to know those I found interesting. I distinctly remember the first gentleman I invited over for a glass of wine, just because. It confused the hell out of him until he wrapped his brain around it. We are still great friends to this day. Where he is located has a direct impact on where I like my location to be. Neither of us should drive after an evening with wine involved! The bottom line is to talk to your provider about the details if she seems inclined to spend time outside the playroom. If she genuinely enjoys the downtime with you, there will be no fee unless work is involved. And I will reiterate...if unplanned playtime happens, compensate her for it. If you don't, she will put you on the "freebie" list and things will change between you. I avoid interacting with those on my freebie list more actively than I do my no show list... Catherine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted October 28, 2008 Cat, Alex, You guys have really contributed great thoughts to this thread. I guess if the lady is a social mood and I am in a social mood and we feel there is a level of interest to go hang and do something I am in. If a lady is on the clock and needs her time paid for than I will do the regular on the clock visit. I have rarely been accused of being cheap so I think my instincts work well. If you do not give a lady what they are truly worth than they will be resentful and there will be no social time, if a lady has been particularly good to you than give him a decent tip (at least $$$) or a nice gift, something personal that you have learned she will appreciate. I am so grateful to the ladies that have given me there social time over the last few months I have seen more ladies off the clock on the clock as my finances have been a little irregular over the last month. Alex dump the dead weight, it only makes you less enthusiastic for the paying visitors (it is really hard to get ready for the next client when someone sucks your energy away). And when you are on you are most definitely on!! You 2 are some of my most favorite people!! The three of us should play together sometime soon :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
p22*** 236 Report post Posted October 28, 2008 I like to believe I have hade a few connects along the way... Those who know me well, know "me" well... I enjoy my job, and enjoy all my time spend with clients... But sometimes I really love my job, and really love my cleints... Like anyone you meet in life, some people just get you... So I say, take a risk, make a new friend or lover... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PistolPete 61421 Report post Posted October 28, 2008 What an excellent point put forward Paige. "Take the risk, make a new friend or lover..." To say the very least I met some wonderful ladies that will always have special place in my heart, meaning that they are close friends and my lovers, it is not hard to say it. Over time I have had several ladies say something very special to me, I never feel though it was a tactic, I took it as very welcomed compliment, where I have done the same to them.:wink: The most difficult thing to do is get up and leave when you would really like to spend other quality time with special ladies.My little voice continues to tell me....no you can't....no you should not....fall for her... so I just really love all the ladies as a personal friends that really made me feel special,loved and of course the sex is/was out of this world. Hugs to all of you special women!:grin: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Incognito 331 Report post Posted October 29, 2008 Pete That's perfect. I feel exactly the same way and could not have said it better. The most difficult thing to do is get up and leave when you would really like to spend other quality time with special ladies.My little voice continues to tell me....no you can't....no you should not....fall for her... so I just really love all the ladies as a personal friends that really made me feel special,loved and of course the sex is/was out of this world. Hugs to all of you special women!:grin: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted October 29, 2008 In this day and age of disposible spouses, dsiposible pets, disposible friends and disposible whatnot, the prospect of having a genuine friend seems remote yet it's not something that should be discounted. Personally, I would embrace the opportunity (being old and ugly as I am). Old Spike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
