Questions: The importance of Genuineness between provider and client.

[DixonD 817]

All are welcome to answer! A few questions in one thread!

 

 

This may not be worded the best (I'll probably edit it 60 times!) but here it goes:

 

 

Why is it so important to some clients to have a true connection with a service provider if they are receiving the fantasy that they ask for anyways? (that fantasy being everything that happens in or out of the bedroom) What makes those genuine emotions (from a client or provider) so special and what do they encompass?

 

(Edit: I agree that there should be emotional connection but I hope my question wasn't originally posted like I didn't understand why! Oops my bad!)

 

 

Thanks everyone!

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I'll give my opinion, and I'm speaking for myself only. The most rewarding and memorable encounters I've had are those where time was spent getting to know one another. I like, at a minimum, a two hour encounter, and it's certainly not because I'm a marathoner sexually. The most unenjoyable (yes unenjoyable) encounter was a lady who came to my room, first words she uttered, "gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills"

I'm not dumb, I know the lady is there receiving compensation for her time. But making a connection, clicking, chemistry or whatever you wish to call it, before any sexual activity, well lets say I'm just not a fan of impersonal sex. That initial connection, at least in my experience, happens before going to the bedroom. It takes place in initial emails/pm's etc, then in conversation over drinks. Then it carries on to the bedroom, where I'm with a lady I got to know, and she got to know me. And some of the ladies I've met, well we've made connections, in some cases friendships, beyond a simple SP/Client relationship, which makes repeat encounters all the more enjoyable

So long winded rambling short, if there wasn't that connection, genuineness, clicking etc etc etc in my encounters, I would stop participating in this lifestyle. Part of the enjoyment of the encounter for me is meeting and getting to know new ladies or having repeat encounters with ladies I've seen.

Hope that makes sense

RG

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Because I would genuinely like to enjoy the most enjoyable moments with life's troubles left behind, I'd like to believe during a session, this is when I can be most genuine and no one can take that from me, I'm willing to pay for that, are you?

[Icebreaker 3938]

From my perspective (client) having a connection with an SP makes all the difference. I believe the physical and emotional parts of an encounter are hard to separate. Having 2 (or in some cases more :-) ) parties who are genuinely into the activities can not be faked, if someone tries to fake it then this is the stuff unsatisfying dates are made of (luckily this has never happened to me on CERB). I'm sure it is no fun for the lady if there is zero connection with the gent (example: the lady watching the clock praying for a quick and merciful end to the appointment).

 

As for specific details on the emotions, this is a hard one for me to pin down, either the spark is there or it is not. Much like so many other things in life. Being able to read the ladies profile and posts gives us guys the opportunity to make a better informed choice in who to spend time with (that the gent and the lady are compatible and are into the same activities so there are less chance for disappointment on both parts).

[DixonD 817]

Great comments so far! Thanks!

 

My answer is nothing that hasn't been posted but here it is!

 

I've never been on a date with a service provider before and have no experience on the matter. I just know that if I do, I really what this person I am with to enjoy my company, friendship, and to look forward to the next date. There definately has to be a click there before any intimacy occurs because like what has already been posted, I just can't see myself having sex without some kind of mutual emotional bond and respect. It would just feel.... hallow and like I'm missing out on the full experience! Haven't been a big part of the forums but what I've seen so far is that there are a lot of great people in this hobby (both providers and hobbiests) that have so much to offer than just sex and I think I've got a bit to offer myself :) So if I do dive into the hobby, yes it would probably be best to start with online stuff, getting to know each other dates (I like to take things slow anyway) and pretty much everything that roamingguy said in his post! If things click then go from there, if not then that's okay because it happens and you can always learn from the experience :)

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Dixon --

 

First and foremost, I agree with my fellow cerb members and roamingguy and icebreaker nicely summarized the issues. For me, its all about making some type of mental connection as to me that's the most important aspect of sexual activity. It could be very romantic, or almost comical or funny, or anything in between. I could tell stories of what I mean but that would sound too much like Penthouse Letters ... beyond the scope of your inquiry!

 

One suggestion, though, based on your comments, is to put the necessary time into researching on cerb (or other sites) to find a lady you would like to meet and send her a pm or communicate with her however she prefers. But (from someone who has tried) dont try to package this up too perfectly with your online work ... just find someone whose posts you like and take a look at their profile. Then go for it.

[cat 262460]

I believe that in life it's the experiences we have that feed our soul. Authentic interaction is what we crave as humans. We like to feel that those we interact with are there in mind, spirit and body in any given situation. It's why we chose to do business with certain companies over others with the same products. The people we interact with will either allow us to feel connected or we go elsewhere. If I feel I am simply another sale, I will not return; instead I continue to search until I find the place "I belong". I will drive extra miles for services I could receive around the corner when the provider makes me feel truly welcome and appreciated. In retrospect, I can see that it's the authenticity that keeps me coming back to every interaction I chose to participate in.

 

I do not have a persona; my clients meet "me" at the door. I have never made up a "work" character; instead I've tapped parts of me that were not given the opportunity to present on a regular basis. Over the years I have integrated all of myself into my work on some level and I cannot entertain if the experience isn't authentic on both sides. I will turn down an appointment or show a guest to the door if I feel I cannot interact with them in a genuine way or vice versa. Guests with whom I have developed a more encompassing relationship with have often pointed out that there is no change in me whether I'm entertaining them or they are included in an aspect of my private life except my choice of attire.

 

Developing a genuine, professional connection will take time with some providers. Repeat guests give a provider the opportunity to get to know them and feel comfortable letting their guard down. Trust is integral in this process; SPs are not trusting by nature usually. I feel strongly that if a woman has to create a contrasting alter ego in order to do this work, then it will eventually leave a negative impression on her in some way. Life is challenging enough without having to pretend to be somebody else daily for your livelihood. The key is initially finding a provider that presents the qualities that you resonate with and then allowing the time needed for the relationship to develop.

 

cat

[castle 38816]

I agree with RG, without a genuine connection I wouldn't be hobbying. I almost decided to stop hobbying before discovering cerb for exactly that reason. I was relying on ads in the newspaper or ads on EC to find SP's. In other words there was no real way of getting a feel of the lady's personality or knowing if we would click or not before meeting, and more often than not, we didn't click and everything was a very mechanical business transaction. Which was no fun at all and didn't exactly work wonders for my ego.

 

But since being on here I can converse with a lady at length through PM's, and from reading their posts on different threads and topics I can get a good sense of her personality and decide from that whether or not we'll click.

 

If it's our first encounter (or sometimes even if it's not) I like to spend at least 15-20 mins chatting with the lady before getting "down n' dirty" :p, I like building that feeling of familiarity before getting intimate....and also after being intimate. It's a good way to ensure there will be a genuine comfort and a real connection between both parties. There's nothing better than leaving an encounter and feeling and knowing that you've made her day just as much as she made yours, and for a lot more reasons than the "donation" you left.

[roamingguy 300292]

Great comments so far! Thanks!

 

My answer is nothing that hasn't been posted but here it is!

 

I've never been on a date with a service provider before and have no experience on the matter. I just know that if I do, I really what this person I am with to enjoy my company, friendship, and to look forward to the next date. There definately has to be a click there before any intimacy occurs because like what has already been posted, I just can't see myself having sex without some kind of mutual emotional bond and respect. It would just feel.... hallow and like I'm missing out on the full experience! Haven't been a big part of the forums but what I've seen so far is that there are a lot of great people in this hobby (both providers and hobbiests) that have so much to offer than just sex and I think I've got a bit to offer myself :) So if I do dive into the hobby, yes it would probably be best to start with online stuff, getting to know each other dates (I like to take things slow anyway) and pretty much everything that roamingguy said in his post! If things click then go from there, if not then that's okay because it happens and you can always learn from the experience :)

 

Hi Dixon

I gather from this post you have yet to see a SP. One thing, I went through it, probably every guy has gone through it, the first time you schedule an encounter, you will both be terrified and look forward to it at the same time, a real mixture of emotions. Don't let the fear win out. After the encounter is over, you will have hopefully fond memories of the encounter, wonder why you didn't start this earlier in life, and counting down till your next encounter. The first encounter gets you over the hurdle of seeing ladies.

I don't know what city you will see ladies in, but once you find a lady on CERB (and stick with CERB, the ladies have all been good to me here)

contact her, let her know it will be your first time, ask any pointers etc.

I know a little off topic, and didn't mean to hijack your thread

Good luck

RG

[VedaSloan 119179]

I've always found it strange that this is the one business where the "genuineness" of the encounter always seems to be questioned (I don't necessarily mean by CERB members, more in general). No one questions whether their nanny or day-care provider "really" cares about the children they look after, despite the fact that they are paid to do so.

 

Like Cat, when clients come to see me, they meet "me," flaws and all. I give 100% and I do genuinely care about my clients because I personally think that sex is something that EVERYONE (rude/offensive notwithstanding) should be able to access, regardless of ability, size, race, age, gender, etc. In my mind, sex is a basic human right, and I see myself as providing a service that is much needed. I often feel like I am doing something good for someone else, giving them something that they sorely need (and I don't just mean orgasms) and that is what I love about my job.

[roamingguy 300292]

I should add to my thoughts here, at least for me, I'm just as genuine as the ladies are. When a lady meets me, she isn't meeting some alter ego, or some guy playing a role, what you see is what you get.

RG

[futileresistenz 28253]

A great thread you've started here, DixonD.

 

Coming a little late to the discussion (a dozen posts have been made already), I don't wish to restate too much of what others, particularly RG, have already stated perfectly well.

 

I've only recently begun my hobbyist adventure, and along with first introductions came the nervousness and giddy anticipation - a mixture that really is, upon reflection, pretty exciting! It subsides quickly once the ice is broken, and gives way to the pleasure of spending time with a wonderful person who you like and if she does likewise, then you've hit it off. Whether that is sexual --to varying degrees-- in nature, or more for companionship, depends on the people and situation. The encounters I've had have definitely left behind a pleasant warmth, the recollection of a satisfying meeting of mind, heart, and body.

 

So, in a sentence (gosh, that might be hard) it boils down to trust, respect, kindness, and liking each others' company. Allow me, if you will, just to add that, IMO, looks are quite secondary to personality, but naturally there are certain body types and attributes that will add that certain je ne sais quoi, but *to me* what makes an encounter so special is in part something ethereal that can't be anticipated or defined. And why would we want to lose any of the mystery of it all?

 

Wishing OP and everyone here on the board blissful moments always. ;)

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

This is a great thread! Thanks for starting it.

 

I don't know how to be anyone but me, so I don't try. That said, there are aspects of who I am that I don't express in all areas of my life. I think that most people would say the same thing about themselves.

 

As I get older, I notice that I'm both much more confident and more protective of myself, too. What that means in practical terms is that I don't see anyone unless I think I'm going to enjoy being with them. Life is just too short for that. If I have the sense that I'm not what someone is looking for, I don't hesitate to say so and, as much as possible, to make some suggestions about others who may be more like what he wants. Going through meetings when I feel that the other person and I are basically incompatible is an emotionally and spiritually draining experience for me, not worth whatever I'm being paid for my time.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

In my mind, sex is a basic human right,...

 

Berlin -- This would be a great topic in and of itself ... as you asserted it, I will leave it up to you to decide whether to post it.