Do you feel part of the human race?

[castle 38816]

Or are you like me and spend most of your time walking around and thinking "what the hell is wrong with all these people? Am I the only normal living thing on this big muddy dirtball?". Can you relate to most people? Or are there only a few other people that you can truly relate to? Do you look at the population of the world as a whole and think of it as a seperate entity or do you feel a part of it? Or are you like me who feels like an eternal outcast, seperate from the rest of the world, always on the outside looking in, only feeling close to other outcasts......and you are perfectly A-ok with that. Because the human beans on the other side of the window are straaaaange! :p

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[roamingguy 300292]

I don't know if it's a case of the human race, but I know at work, I'm one of the few remaining old timers there. And when I started in my job some 27 years ago, first day on the job, boss says, keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut...now, kids joining, they walk in brand spanking new, and instead of respect for senior staff, they come in acting spoiled and deserving of entitlement. Guess it's more a generational thing

I find a lot of kids, (well young adults) today to be very "me" oriented, and don't give a damn about anyone else.

As for most of the co-workers of my generation, they've either retired, or are about to retire. Me, good news is five more years and I'm retired. Bad news, it'll take five years to retire

Don't know if that answers your question

RG

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

 

I'm proud to be one of the odd beans out. ;)

I think a lot of people feel a disconnect with the world around them and that's not necessarily a bad thing, that's what makes you question the status quo, that's what inspires change and that's what keeps us moving. If you didn't feel a certain disconnect, if you always felt like everything was going great then you'd never want to question why things were done a certain way, why the law was the way it was or why the government was making the choices it was. Our laws would stay the way they are, our policies would be the same and everyone would be in agreement and that is never a good thing.

 

Our best decisions come from debate, when we disagree we discuss, we go back and forth with different viewpoints and we challenge each other to defend them and hopefully (though not often enough) we make the best decision from all of that debate. So if you don't feel like you are connected to the world around you then voice your opinion, tell people why and chances are there are others around that feel the same way and want to affect change as well and that is how it happens.

It doesn't matter if it's small or large, that disconnect is important and that in itself is a community.

[castle 38816]

I didn't mean to come off whiny or anything. I have no problems with feeling this way at all. And yes RG I think generational gaps play a part. I know for myself....I often feel I was born decades too late. I'm what you might consider a young person (early 30's) and I do notice how in the workplace people my age seem to think the everyone owes them something...which really bothers me because when starting a new job employers assume I will be the same way....I was anything but spoiled growing up. And I have a very strong work ethic as a result. I get in, keep my head down, do my job to the best of my ability, and go home, end of story, and all I expect in return is my bi-weekly pay cheque.

 

What I was more referring to is a feeling of disconnectedness from other people, which isn't to say that there is no one I like, care about, or even love. There most definitely are. But even most of those people closest to me....I find it impossible to....empathize...I guess? I can sympathize just fine....but not empathize. If something happens to upset them, I'll be upset too. If they're sad, I'm sad. But I just can't seem to put myself "in their shoes" so to speak. I just can't seem to get in their heads. I can't really relate to any of them. But I don't think you have to be able to relate to someone to care about them. Actually I've been finding that I can relate to more people here on cerb than in my "real" life lol.

[Old Dog 179138]

This may be conjecture on my part, but I do think that the technology that we are using right this second has a great deal to do with the disconnect.

 

Think about it. People 35 and under have had an entirely different set of parameters within which to conduct their socialization.

 

You "play" with people online.

You "chat" with people online.

You text and bbm and message remotely.

Ipods, other MP3 players and the like are the offspring of the Sony Walkman, but they seem to be more relevant and as such create a greater degree of self imposed isolation.

You grew up in a video game generation, where amusement didn't require interaction with anyone else and if it did, they weren't in the same room.

 

None of this is your fault and none of it is necessarily bad - but it has limited some of the social interactions that were prevalent in the group of people just a few years older than yourselves. The "disconnect" makes it easier to relate to people in remote areas because you can turn them off at will - you can't do that to people in the real world. You have to cope with their everyday problems, their issues, their "chatter" - and it's inescapable - the coping mechanisms of this age don't allow for unplugging and walking away.

 

It's not a condemnation written by an old guy. Hell, I wish I could unplug and tune out some times. In my opinion, it's just an unfortunate outcome of technology, an unanticipated shortcoming of the electronic world where reality is far less accommodating than the self imposed isolationism of your own alternate reality.

 

That was deep. I need a nap.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Huge loner over here. I'm quirky and odd and I'm totally fine with that.

[loopie 15358]

I am also in my early 30s and I relate to some aspects of my generation but not others. Some of this technology stuff is great. I have some interests and tastes that aren't popular, I get to learn about them better through the internet and I get to connect with people who share my interests which wouldn't happen in real life. Although I do express myself better when I can use my voice and face, so I do feel typing is a step down from face-to-face socializing.

 

But I have not embraced the self-obsession aspect of technology. I don't feel the need to document every moment of my life through Twitter or Facebook etc. And I also don't feel the need to be accessible all the time. When I go to a movie or a concert, I shut my phone off and I don't think about the people who might want to talk to me.

 

In my career I look out for myself and I think for myself. I am happy to learn from the experience of others, but that doesn't mean I trust anybody blindly or feel any obligation to humour them by repeating their mistakes.

[MightyPen 67414]

I was a Weird Kid; I didn't seem to think like other people and, starting around age 8, I couldn't understand a lot of what people did, especially in groups. This continued in some form all the way into my early 20s.

 

There are some simple reasons for why I grew up like that, but they're not important -- what was important was the lasting sense of separation from the mainstream it planted in me. Through high school it got worse, and dating simply didn't happen. But then in university it started to change as I found my strength and my stride.

 

From then on it eased. But some of that sense never left me; it's built-in, though generally in check. Most people never see it -- I'm good that way -- but I know it's there. So do the people who know me well.

 

Like Berlin, I have a tendency to solitude (but I don't let that dominate my life). One of the upsides is, it's made me independent in thought and deed. That's one of the reasons I'm here. :)

[JuliasUndies 7288]

To be human and to be a human being are so separate. Wish more humans would join the human race and be human beings.

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

I'll be brief to start, and post more later... (If I don't suck and actually remember to post more)

 

Pretty much: Yes! This particular odd duck tends to quack and waddle in his own goofy way. That being said, I can also blend in quite well with the rest of the flock. I just happen to be quite aware of their slightly different plumage and disposition, so to speak ;)

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I often feel like the pink sheep that is actually a black sheep...so half pink/half black sheep in the room.

 

I don't fit in a lot of crowd.

I am a bisexual poly switch sadomasochist escort that is alternative looking.

I get judge. all the times. (no I don't need reassurance or we like you the way you are on cerb!). I starting to be able to deal with it.

 

I hang out with people that are extremely extroverted and I am introverted. So I always pretty much end up being the loner in the corner looking at my nails or pretending to text.

 

I feel like a human? well yeah. We are now over 7 billions. There's gotta be a couple of weird one out there.

 

but if I feel like I belong to somewhere? Not really.

 

at least not yet. I am always looking for something bigger and greater than myself. I yield for more...and until I found that, I will probably never feel like I belong

 

damn I sound depressing lol

[Nikki Thomas 23145]

This may be conjecture on my part, but I do think that the technology that we are using right this second has a great deal to do with the disconnect.

 

Think about it. People 35 and under have had an entirely different set of parameters within which to conduct their socialization.

 

You "play" with people online.

You "chat" with people online.

You text and bbm and message remotely.

Ipods, other MP3 players and the like are the offspring of the Sony Walkman, but they seem to be more relevant and as such create a greater degree of self imposed isolation.

You grew up in a video game generation, where amusement didn't require interaction with anyone else and if it did, they weren't in the same room.

 

None of this is your fault and none of it is necessarily bad - but it has limited some of the social interactions that were prevalent in the group of people just a few years older than yourselves. The "disconnect" makes it easier to relate to people in remote areas because you can turn them off at will - you can't do that to people in the real world. You have to cope with their everyday problems, their issues, their "chatter" - and it's inescapable - the coping mechanisms of this age don't allow for unplugging and walking away.

 

It's not a condemnation written by an old guy. Hell, I wish I could unplug and tune out some times. In my opinion, it's just an unfortunate outcome of technology, an unanticipated shortcoming of the electronic world where reality is far less accommodating than the self imposed isolationism of your own alternate reality.

 

That was deep. I need a nap.

 

You're absolutely right about this, and I don't see it as a judgment, but more of a commentary. People today are communicating in ways that we could never have imagined, and it's actually having a greater effect on us than we realize.

 

I'd suggest the age divide is more for people under 30, but I guess there's some variation there; I'm sort of on the cusp of this phenomenon. When I was growing up, I didn't play video games too often; I had a computer (Apple IIC) when I was quite young, but I didn't spend 10 hours a day using it. Most importantly, I learned how to socialize before computers and cell phones became so popular; it wasn't until my late teens that these tools became the status quo for communication. Now, when I have classes with people more than 5 years younger than me, I can notice a serious difference between those of us who learned to socialize normally, versus those who grew up with computer-mediated communication (CMC) being the norm. There's not just a behavioural difference between groups, but a neurological difference as well.

 

Sadly, these tools actually get in the way of how our brain processes communcation messages. You know the saying that 90% of communication is non-verbal? It's totally true. Our brains process communication holistically, and we consider all the information (verbal and non-verbal) when evaluating someone's message - but modern communication (emails and texts) eliminate some of the most important bits of information that we have depended on throughout our evolutionary history, such as facial expressions, affirmative nods, and body language. Quite simply, kids who grow up using computers and cell phones have brains that are wired differently, and they pay more attention to the details than the bigger picture.

 

Some of the effects showing up in research include:

 

- Considerably shorter attention spans

- Desensitization to visual stimuli

- Decreased working memory ability

- Poorer calculation skills (most likely a consequence of the calculator)

- Difficulty in face-to-face communication (lack of eye contact in particular, as well as decreased sensitivity to facial expressions indicating emotional changes)

- Limited and decreased empathy for others (because the empathy mechanism in our brain is closely wired to our facial recognition and processing centres)

- And, most problematic, a complete inability to delay gratification, and a major lack in self-discipline.

 

At the neurological level, we're actually looking at a potential crisis of massive proportions, so it's not unreasonable to say that this generation gap and communication divide makes people feel more or less connected to other people. Even though we're more "connected" to each other in a technological sense, we've actually never been more alone, as far as our brains being able to connect and identify with other people.

 

The good news is, this isn't the end of the line. Returning to normal, face-to-face communication is one way to increase your ability to connect with others, and having meaningful contact with other people has been shown to increase empathy and decrease feelings of loneliness and isolation. Also, it's actually pretty easy to develop self-discipline; all it takes is a couple of marshmallows to teach your kids how to exercise self-control. Check this out for more details:

 

[Old Dog 179138]

[Cara Silver 32412]

I am an introvert in an extrovert world. You're not alone. The less you say, the smarter you sound, at least to yourself :)

 

xoxo Amelia

[Guest S**a*Q]

I'm weird, as most people know and not part of the "human" race, but I still really like people.

 

I used to feel uncomfortable and wonder why I wasn't like everyone else, but as time wore on and I developed who I am as a person, I feel much better around the rest of the populous. I actually enjoy meeting people and finding out what makes them tick or why they are different than I am. I like being the center of attention, so also I thrive in groups.

 

NO ONE is like me... But isn't our individual diversity what makes the world so interesting?

[Guest S***dst***]

As normal I'm kind of lost with these remarks...maybe it's just me or maybe it's just the people I work with...however:

 

First I find most things fairly opposite to what has been said. I am almost (minus two others) the only one under 30 (and only one other person under fifty) who work in an employee base of 30 people. The other staff treat us (the under 50's) as if we are incompetent and incapable of doing/understanding the task/employment we are assigned/hired to do. In most cases we understand it considerably better than they do but we are met with anger and hostility when we suggest or show them what we mean; if they even allot us a second to do so.

 

How is this a selfish way of approaching a job? I think it's a better way for a team to operate since it's more efficient. It's not just this job either, I've been met with resistance and ignorance my entire working life. You say "self centered" I say "making myself heard".

 

To the original post...yes..I do feel like an outsider in the human race. I am an introverted person, which I am currently changing, who most people think is very shy. To a degree I am but mostly if I don't have anything to say..I just don't have anything to say.

Why don't I have anything to say? Maybe I'm not interested in how the Sens are doing because I don't watch T.V or even sports..if you want to have a conversation about that I am not the person with whom to speak...if you just want to ramble on and on, I'll listen but I likely won't have anything to contribute.

 

I do agree with many points being said here aswell. Without trying to sound like an egotistic person (at anytime during this rant), I do find the intellegence level and behaviour (greed) of the general population unsatisfactory. Not just the newer generations either.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Have you watched Ancient Alliens??? I feel apart of the " Alien" race, hahaahah. Thoes wern't Gods in chariots descending from the sky....but another race from another world, hehehehe

[roamingguy 300292]

I didn't mean to come off whiny or anything. I have no problems with feeling this way at all. And yes RG I think generational gaps play a part. I know for myself....I often feel I was born decades too late. I'm what you might consider a young person (early 30's) and I do notice how in the workplace people my age seem to think the everyone owes them something...which really bothers me because when starting a new job employers assume I will be the same way....I was anything but spoiled growing up. And I have a very strong work ethic as a result. I get in, keep my head down, do my job to the best of my ability, and go home, end of story, and all I expect in return is my bi-weekly pay cheque.

 

What I was more referring to is a feeling of disconnectedness from other people, which isn't to say that there is no one I like, care about, or even love. There most definitely are. But even most of those people closest to me....I find it impossible to....empathize...I guess? I can sympathize just fine....but not empathize. If something happens to upset them, I'll be upset too. If they're sad, I'm sad. But I just can't seem to put myself "in their shoes" so to speak. I just can't seem to get in their heads. I can't really relate to any of them. But I don't think you have to be able to relate to someone to care about them. Actually I've been finding that I can relate to more people here on cerb than in my "real" life lol.

 

Think I'm getting the gist of your thread now. My disconnectedness comes more from a compartmentalization of my life so to speak. There are family/friends (including my fishing buddies), then work where I feel in the minority due to a generational gap (some people starting at work weren't even born when I started working there) and especially my CERB/Lifestyle.

Even though I'm not embarrassed/ashamed by partaking in this lifestyle, it is not accepted in "mainstream" society. It means keeping this part of my life a secret, where I am known by my board handles and only privately between a lady and gentleman is my real name know, if verification required.

The techno aspect of society, well I've tried to keep pace, based on my personal needs for the technology, so I feel no disconnect there

Does that rambling make more sense?

RG :-)

[Old Dog 179138]

I was humming a tune to myself and had an epiphany.

 

"When I was younger, so much younger than today,

I never needed anybody's help in anyway.

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,

Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors."

The Beatles nailed it.

 

The common source of disconnect for most of us is age. I will assure the majority of you young whippersnappers, that what you are feeling now, is the same damn thing all of us felt when we were young whippersnappers.

 

Here's the thing. When we were younger we felt immortal. We may have been shy and introverted but we were shy and introverted "en masse." The way we socialize kids, the way it has been for generations now is that we grab all of the kids born in a particular year and throw them together. From the ages of 4 through 24, more or less, we are artificially connected to everyone else we know because that is what is expected.

 

We have common experiences. We eat at the same time. We read the same books. We listen to the same music. We wear the same clothes. We urge each other to conform. We urge each other to rebel. We love the same things. We hate the same things. It's not 100% - we all have our things that go against the grain, but for the most part we are connected; we "belong."

 

Then it happens. The cruel reality of the "grown up" world.

 

You are thrust into society, naked. That group of people that fed your id, ego and super ego have vanished. They are still there, but not in your immediate vicinity. They are in other places in society, equally naked. It's scary. Some people have the basic survival techniques to become accepted and to accept rather rapidly. It doesn't mean that they don't feel the isolation, they just seem to cope better.

 

I am sitting here writing this as a guy that has experienced everything you have felt. I still do feel much the same angst, the same disconnect in a lot of ways. The difference? Years. Lots and lots of years. I still find many of the things that my juniors, my contemporaries and my elders do or say, absolutely asinine or conversely works of genius.

 

I am now a gregarious loner. A shy extrovert. A happy madman. Serenely out of control. A paradox incarnate. My connection to the real world? It's tenuous and unshakable. It is both fluid and static. Dynamic and immovable.

 

I am just a regular guy that understands, in a changing world, that I will never understand. I live my life knowing that I will never know everything I want to know and know too much of what I don't.

 

I am cool with that.

 

[thedriver 6179]

Reading al the posts has helped me gather my thoughts on the subject but it is very difficult for me to put them in writing and formulate my thoughts into sentences that can be understood by others.

 

First I do not feel like an alien or simply not part of the Human race. Rather I have always felt that I am out of sync with the world around me, as if I was born at the wrong time, wrong place, wrong life.

 

I have always felt on the outside looking in. Whether it was when I was a young boy playing with friends and they talked about sports which I had no interest in or as a teen when friends started forming scocial groups I was on the sidelines looking in. As an adult it was much of the same. Even though I made friends and was not a total loner I was always the shy introverted one in the group that listened but had nothing to say. I rarely find people that understand my sense of humor or can relate to my view of the world. When I was young I felt that I was older then my age and now that I am younger then my age. That I am in the wrong job, wrong city, wrong country, wrong Life!

 

I just feel out of sync.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

I used to feel part of the race, part of it all when I was young and carefree..

In a small world of fun with friends and being taken care of. Now that I'm grown I see it much differently. So differently I stay in my small world in a child like state once again being the only thing I can do to stay human.

The human race is just that, a race in two ways. First it's a race in a sea

of many races and second it is a race to the finish. The word "race" dates back to the thirteenth century to refer to any ethnic group or nation and the current concept of "race" dates back to the seventeeth century. I don't know how the human race lived before I Was born 29 years ago, but, race has been brought to my attention as something much different than nations, ethnic background, colours, religions ect..

Growing up we were taught that we were superior and top of the food chain, this human race of ours.

I would not categorize myself as a part of the human race. Seems like more and more people are in a race for themselves, trying to get whatever they can however they can before the end of the race. Getting ahead in this race requires motives that I do not possess. Motives and tacticle skills that are beyond my ability to utilize them. I look around at all the people and I see people turning off that special trait called "caring" in order to gain what they want out of life. Respect for elders has deminished, caring for others is a joke, honesty is a quaint antique that has long since retired. People blaming others instead of taking responsibility.

Sure, not everyone is part of this race of humans that may work like this..I know that..That's what keeps me sane enough to keep going .Hope.I've pulled over and out of the race, and I don't know how long I'll be at this rest stop for. It's quiet here, peaceful. It's an honest haven...

It's just too unsettling for me to go on in a race or world if you will that operates in way that I cannot get so low to demean myself and others and pretend "I don't care" or people don't matter, "It's just business" just doesn't cut it.

Far too many humans part of this race are more of a sub-human culture and the farthest thing from humanity.

There is a dying breed out there of good honest individuals that have a heart and care for others. You can tell this breed from others because they struggle with humanity floating between insanity refusing to give in to the "normal" acceptable reality and yet still have to be surrounded by it. These people care for others, are honest and loving..They don't gossip or plot to take down one another, slander and hurt each other for fun or to get ahead in the race.

Sleeping at night doesn't come easy for me..I can't change the world and I can't accept it, so I created my own world and in my own world I will stay-away from this plagued race.

I do have hope

I do have hope

 

 

 

[Aspen Wilde 31370]

No, I'm a fairy. :)

 

But assertions of magicalness aside, the most honest answer I can give is I'm not sure. Allow me to explain.

 

I was a pretty solitary, nerdy kid- I got bullied a lot, so I didn't have a lot of friends, and I spent most of my time reading. I remember very well wanting to be all sorts of things but who I was. A horse. A wizard. A Ranger From The North, a la Lord of the Rings. Growing up, I begrudgingly admitted that I couldn't be these things, at least not full-time (hooray for theatre!), but I still had this sense that I was in some way wholly and utterly different, as if there was something just a tad 'off-kilter' about the way my brain lined up with the rest of the world.

 

I get the sense now that this was partly low self esteem, a protective mechanism to explain away how isolated I often felt. As I grow, I see more and more the ways in which I am actually very squarely human, that I am so very like everyone else in ways that both fill me with hope and make me very ashamed.

 

As Maya Angelou says "We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike." Sometimes this frustrates me, and sometimes this helps me feel less alone.

 

I'm still an introvert. I still see the world in a way that is unique to me and my experiences, something that often makes me friends, and occasionally alienates me from people. We can't make everyone happy.

 

Does it matter whether I'm part of the human race? Biologically yes, it's helpful to have a body that works in ways that doctors can recognize and understand. But does it matter if I think the same way as the majority (whatever that is)? Or if I live in the same way? Am I am member of the human race in the same way that I would be a member of a club, having agreed to certain rules and principles, paid my dues, and attended the meetings?

 

I don't care. If there are meetings, I'm playing hooky. I am a person, and to me that means I am a self-aware being with desires and thoughts and feelings, capable of experiencing both pleasure and pain, and deserving of respect. Sometimes I'll meddle in the affairs of humans- there are some things I'd like to do to make life better for myself and others, which will require venturing out into the world and interacting with others of the species. But sometimes I will bow out, sit at home and be a hermit, and try to tune out the noise of the rest of humanity so that I can get in touch with my personhood. And that's okay too.

 

Too long; didn't read: No really, I'm a fairy. ;)

[MightyPen 67414]

You know, if there's one thing we can definitely conclude from this thread, it's that maybe there's a tendency to perceive "the human race" as too monolithic. Look at how many people here are putting up their hands and saying "no, way, I don't fit the mould". And that's just the ones who posted already; for each person who contributed to the thread, imagine how many others could relate but have so far stayed silent.

 

I do know a number of people who fit the prevalent "mainstream humanity" stereotype: materialistic, narcissistic, driven by consumerism and lacking introspection and insight. They live their lives like people on t.v. commercials. I'm not one of them. Though who would recognize and admit it if they were?

 

But I know a lot of people who have confronted and largely overcome challenges of self-esteem, prolonged social pain and alienation, and from that struggle found their individuality. They're people who have carved out separate social niches for themselves, and these are the folks I find most interesting.

 

There are lots of us here. What a shame we're harder to recognize when we pass by each other out in the world.

[ostirch 1668]

But I know a lot of people who have confronted and largely overcome challenges of self-esteem, prolonged social pain and alienation, and from that struggle found their individuality. They're people who have carved out separate social niches for themselves, and these are the folks I find most interesting.

 

Being open about a bout of depression that took away 6 years of my life has made me realize that too many of us carry hidden secrets that were so ashamed about, and yet Ironically, make us so human.

 

I can pinpoint the day when I started feeling human again. It was when I accepted the paradoxes of being human. It was a long process.

 

I would highly recommend two books for anybody not feeling human these days because they carry some kind of pain in their lives

 

-Scott Peck: The Road Less Traveled

-Brave New World: Aldous Huxley, a wonderful account on how life without any pain is ironically pathological.

 

I also recommend learning another language to get to know lots of friends from different countries. I also recommend Vitamin D3 droplets everyday during the winter season. I can't stress this enough.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

You know, if there's one thing we can definitely conclude from this thread, it's that maybe there's a tendency to perceive "the human race" as too monolithic. Look at how many people here are putting up their hands and saying "no, way, I don't fit the mould". And that's just the ones who posted already; for each person who contributed to the thread, imagine how many others could relate but have so far stayed silent.

 

I do know a number of people who fit the prevalent "mainstream humanity" stereotype: materialistic, narcissistic, driven by consumerism and lacking introspection and insight. They live their lives like people on t.v. commercials. I'm not one of them. Though who would recognize and admit it if they were?

 

But I know a lot of people who have confronted and largely overcome challenges of self-esteem, prolonged social pain and alienation, and from that struggle found their individuality. They're people who have carved out separate social niches for themselves, and these are the folks I find most interesting.

 

There are lots of us here. What a shame we're harder to recognize when we pass by each other out in the world.

Many of us are on the same track and feeling this way in the forum, but I don't don't it's a coincidence. This industry is a place, a corner of a very real reality..A place to escape and can edit out the B.S in life. Two humans can get together and share something worth sharing, something amazing. We can be free and happy and leave the challenges behind us, if even for a moment. We can be honest,trusting and benefit one another in a positive way and on no one's expense. A good time to be human together in a place where we can feel alive and feel like we should. Perhaps many of us are here on the same account.