thinking about losing virginity to an escort

[Marksman69 100]

Well I am in my early 20's and am thinking about paying for an hours worth of a gfe.

 

I have been having second thoughts of doing this, because having to pay to lose my v card is not something that you can tell your friends proudly.

 

I have looked up AMA posts on reddit in regards to losing a v card to an escort and pretty much all of them have said that they don't regret it and made them realize that sex is just sex. I also think that if this is true, I will start seeing women more as people than just something for sex, because I will have come to terms that sex is just sex.

 

I have tried picking up chicks at the meat market (bars/clubs) with no luck. I have read pick up literature and although in theory I get it, I just can't apply it in real life.

I remember hearing a girl say that she has found men attractive until they open their mouths, and I can agree with that because that pretty much describes my luck with women. I have been called cute and good looking, but my shyness and social skills kills whatever attraction I had.

I have had a few make outs at bars but have only gotten that far. I have gotten a bj from a chick at a house party, but I never came due to the alcohol.

Being shy and all, I use alcohol as a crutch, so I end up getting drunk every time I go out. Not good for my wallet and health.

Paying $200+ to lose my v card is expensive, but looking at how much I have spent in bars and clubs, I am starting to think differently.

 

Being a virgin is bad for my self esteem, I think about this everyday.

 

I know that there is a lot of social stigma to be a hobbyist in the sex trade, but then there are many women who decide to be promiscuous and become escorts despite the social stigma that gets attached to that. If I can get over the fear of being judged then maybe I can enjoy this.

 

I also think if the escort will take into consideration that it will be my first time. I would not want my first time to be something that I will regret. I am taking into account that my first time can be good or bad if I do it with a regular girl from the bar or from a girlfriend. I also know both men and women have had an uneventful first time who have not paid for it.

 

If I do decide to do this, I will never tell my friends, and will take this to the grave.

 

What do you guys think? Should I lose my v card to an escort?

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

What do you guys think? Should I lose my v card to an escort?

I'm not a guy but I think that's a decision only you can make.

 

Well I am in my early 20's and am thinking about paying for an hours worth of a gfe.

If you choose to go ahead and decide to 'lose your V card' with a paid companion, I would highly suggest you invest

a little more time then one hour so you can relax and fully enjoy the experience.

 

I also think if the escort will take into consideration that it will be my first time. I would not want my first time to be something that I will regret.

Contact the lady of your choice: be honest about your situation and what you are looking for/would like to experience- when I say this, I'm not only reffering to 'menu items'.

Exchange a few emails with her and get to know her a little. It will unable you to walk in the appointment with less

stress and a little more confidence and reassurance.

 

 

I know that there is a lot of social stigma to be a hobbyist in the sex trade, but then there are many women who decide to be promiscuous and become escorts despite the social stigma that gets attached to that. If I can get over the fear of being judged then maybe I can enjoy this.

Just keep in mind that one doesn't have to be an escort to be promiscuous ;)

Also, companions are probably 100 times safer then the drunk girl you might pick up at the bar ;)

 

 

Good luck to you!

 

Additonal comments:

Being sober will also help you enjoy your experience.

If you're tipsy or drunk, the lady will most likely ask you to leave...

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Also, companions are probably 100 times safer then the drunk girl you might pick up at the bar ;)

 

Very true! Also, since the companion will know how important this is to you, I'm sure she'll make the effort to make you feel very comfortable, and make it special

[Phaedrus 209521]

First up: welcome to CERB, and thanks for posting!

 

There seems to be this widespread myth about losing your virginity; most people, at some stage, seem to believe that it'll happen with the love of your life, and it'll be a beautiful experience with choirs of angels and all that kind of thing. I believe this almost never happens, outside of Victorian-era romantic novels :)

 

You mention that you've been trying your luck on the bar scene, with little luck. I feel your pain; I'm crap at that, too. But think about this for a moment: what happens if you succeed? Yes, you'll get laid... but from the sound of it it'll be with the first person you can (who you may or may not turn out to actually like). And you may end up having a thoroughly awkward experience with a lot of drunken fumbling, and then more awkwardness when you have to decide whether you need to call her... I'm sure there's a few folks whose first time was followed by hangovers and regret. I suspect this is worth avoiding.

 

Next: it sounds from your post like this is becoming an issue for you; something that you worry about, a worm that eats away inside when you're lying awake at 4am. These things aren't fun. Continued failure on the bar scene will make it worse (and as you get more desperate, so your chances of success decline). You've identified a way to break that vicious circle. It would do you no harm to do so; perpetually damaging your self-esteem does nobody any good, least of all you.

 

On telling your friends: sure, there's no need. You're doing this for *you*, not them. But you may find in the future that you needn't take it to your grave; one day, it'll probably make a good story. Also, if you did pick up someone in a bar, your friends may mock you for that, too, depending on what they thought of her. Friends can be bastards, sometimes.

 

On the financial side of things: I presume you've had a look at the ads the ladies post, so you know roughly what it'll cost you. Now, how much have you spent in bars and on taxis in your thus-far fruitless quest? More than that, I'd guess? The point is that paying up front could well be cheaper in the long run. It sounds like you've begun to ask yourself these questions already; trust me, your suspicions are correct. Also, escorts are better for your liver.

 

Something that you may not have considered: reading all the books in the world is all very well, but having someone there who really knows what she's doing and is well versed on the practicalities of the insertion of tab A into slot B will be a Good Thing. It'll save a lot of messing about, for one thing :) Also, tell her what you're doing and where you're at, and what you want; I'm sure the ladies here are used to dealing with nervous first timers (we were all nervous first timers once, and to be honest the butterflies never go away).

 

So, to conclude: go for it! I honestly don't think you'll have cause to regret doing so; probably far fewer regrets than many people have over how they had their first time. You'll be going into it on your own terms, sober, with your eyes open; that means your experience is likely to be waaay better than many peoples' will be. You'll actually remember it, for one; not everyone can say that.

 

Now, you're faced with a much more difficult decision... out of all the lovely ladies here, which one do you go and see? But that's a whole other thread... :)

[roamingguy 300292]

As Gabriella already suggested, spend a couple hours with a lady. I understand your young and your priority is losing your virginity...but getting to know the lady, and she you, well it will make the first time all the more special. Your first time will be with a lady you spent some time getting to know, and not just a quick anonymous fling

As for telling your friends, this is your life, not a case of bragging to your friends...but if needing to brag to your friends to prove your not a virgin is required, tell them a LIE, make up a story, and have fond memories of the PRIVATE time you had with a wonderful lady

My guess, once you embark on this lifestyle, you'll continue to do so. And your in your twenties, I started at 49, and wish I had started much sooner

Just remember to tell the lady ahead of time that your a virgin to avoid awkardness

And treat the ladies like a gentleman should, be polite, courteous, good hygiene...and a little gift and tip are appreciated

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I really wish our culture could forget about "virginity" altogether. It's an outmoded notion that mostly has to do with whether a woman is an appropriate partner for a man and future mother of his children. The idea is grounded in concepts of women as property such that a woman who is not a virgin is somehow "used goods" or "damaged" or perhaps of poor character since she hadn't preserved her virginity until the right man came along.

 

It also sets up intercourse as the be-all and end-all of human sexual activity which, in my professional opinion, is not only utter nonsense but it's also the starting point for all kinds of unhappiness, dissatisfaction and unnecessary anxiety. Whether someone has or has not had intercourse says nothing about their integrity, their willingness to take responsibility for themselves, their character in their dealings with other people, their attentiveness, their playfulness or how sexy they are. Having intercourse for the first time doesn't make a man a man. It doesn't transform him into some kind of Alpha, it won't make him more successful in the rest of his life, more attractive to women, or more respected by other men. It doesn't make him more of anything at all. He just becomes a guy who's had intercourse with a woman.

 

If you think it's a problem to know what to say to other men about how you had your first experience of intercourse, well... with all due respect, friend, think about that for a minute. What business is it of anyone else's, anyway? One place where I'm happy to sound very old-fashioned is this: Real gentlemen don't tell tales. If you have to have a story to tell, roamingguy is right: lie. Sex is one of the things that everyone lies about, anyway. You can be sure that most of the stories you've heard other guys tell are more fictitious than true.

 

That little rant aside, here's my advice.

 

Find a paid companion who appeals to you. Someone you think you can really enjoy, not only because she's beautiful--we're all beautiful--but because you like the way she expresses herself, her sense of humour appeals to you, or whatever makes someone be attractive to you. Plan to spend a whole evening with her. Four or five hours, at least. Most companions will have a special rate for a long engagement; it's okay to ask what someone's fee for a long evening will be.

 

Go out for dinner. Take her to a great or romantic restaurant. Have a leisurely meal. Talk, a lot. Talk about real things--about who you are, what you do, what your hopes and dreams are, what you think about current events, all of that. Listen to her, too. Ask questions, not so much about her life as a paid companion, but about her. Get to know her. Let her get to know you. After that long, relaxed meal, go for a walk, a drive, an unhurried journey back to your place, a hotel, or wherever the rest of the evening will transpire. Be completely unattached to outcomes from that point. Let her take the lead and trust that it's all going to be wonderful, whatever happens. Because it will be.

 

Women like men to pay attention to them. When a man engages with us in a real way, as a real person, we feel great and we're much more likely to want to make him feel just as good.

 

My point in all of this is to say that what I think you really want is not simply to have intercourse for the first time, but to have a great experience in every way. Find someone who can help you have it.

[SKY. 100]

that would be hot.. hit me up

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

Welcome to CERB!

 

Phaedrus and others already took the words right out of my mouth!

 

However,

I just wanted to say for me personally, my first time happened in the so called traditional sense... A drunken hookup. It sucked!

 

It was awkward, uncomfortable, and hardly memorable. As well, it wound up costing me a friendship which I regret to this day.

 

When I as younger I wish I would have had the courage to eschew the traditional opinions and stereotypes that most of society perpetuates in regards to seeing SP's! I get the feeling going this route sooner would have wound up costing me much less in the long run and I would have had way more happy sexual experiences! But hey, hindsight is always 20/20 right? ;)

[Nichole Jenisen 696]

I'm just going to go out on a crazy limb here and say that virginity is a made-up thing that doesn't exist.

I guess you are talking about the first time you put your penis in a woman's vagina. But there's all kinds of sexual firsts, and that's just one.

 

(First time you go down on a woman, first time you get a blowjob, first time you receive anal sex, etc etc)

 

For example, you are not "using up" your virginity to sleep with an escort. You'll still have the first time you sleep with a girlfriend or person you are in love with, etc.

[conquistador 18487]

 

That little rant aside, here's my advice.

 

Find a paid companion who appeals to you. Someone you think you can really enjoy, not only because she's beautiful--we're all beautiful--but because you like the way she expresses herself, her sense of humour appeals to you, or whatever makes someone be attractive to you. Plan to spend a whole evening with her. Four or five hours, at least. Most companions will have a special rate for a long engagement; it's okay to ask what someone's fee for a long evening will be.

 

Go out for dinner. Take her to a great or romantic restaurant. Have a leisurely meal. Talk, a lot. Talk about real things--about who you are, what you do, what your hopes and dreams are, what you think about current events, all of that. Listen to her, too. Ask questions, not so much about her life as a paid companion, but about her. Get to know her. Let her get to know you. After that long, relaxed meal, go for a walk, a drive, an unhurried journey back to your place, a hotel, or wherever the rest of the evening will transpire. Be completely unattached to outcomes from that point. Let her take the lead and trust that it's all going to be wonderful, whatever happens. Because it will be.

.

 

This sounds great and all, but he's in his early 20s and mentioned that $200 is expensive. So, taking a girl out for 4-5 hrs would be great and ideal but not something that he could do financially. I don't even do that myself and i have a good job.

 

I would say try and do a session for 2hrs and enjoy yourself with the woman. But definitely search for someone that you may like and maybe see if you can click with that person before the session. But no doubt you will be in good hands when you find the right person.

 

Just enjoy the evening and don't put too much pressure on yourself...sex should be fun!!

[ostirch 1668]

... sex is just sex..

 

Unfortunately, I don't believe sex is just sex. A life without any motivation for sex would be so much easier...

 

If it means anything, I lost my virginity when I was older than you. I had no idea what I was doing. Some of the most meaningful sex I have had was with sex-workers. So if curiosity is killing you and the desire is just too big to handle, go for it!

 

I am not sure however I would do it for self-esteem reasons. Try to be clear of what you want and what a sex worker can provide for you; writing in a journal first and then reading it back has helped.

 

Also, keep in mind that escorts don't come cheap. Totally worth the money, in my opinion, but nothing I could have afforded at 20.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Well my two cents added here....Yes if that is something you are comfortable with and you don't feel you will have major regrets then I very highly recommend it !! Hindsight being 20/20 I sure wish I had the choices then that I do now

 

Take your time, you have been waiting this long now...find someone you think you would really like to spend your first time with, have some initial getting to know each other emails/pms whatever and go from there. As has been previously mentioned a few times however, I also would recommend once you have found the lady you want to see......spend some quality time (not just an hour) with her because you want it to be a memorable experience for you ! Guess what...she does too :) If that means waiting a little longer and saving so be it.

 

Hopefully you have found some answers here :)

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I once had a client that chose me to take his virginity, I felt really honoured he would choose me for such an important event in his life.

 

Lee is right spend time together first and for sure do not book a short appointment. We spent lots of time laughing and just relaxing, making the most of a really important day.

 

We have seen each other since and been in contact, how could we not? The day was very special for both of us and I did not feel for a minute that there was one awkward moment. We left as friends that day and we will remain so.

 

This is a special day so choose the person that is exactly right for you!!

[Guest qwert123]

OP: I guess I need to write and hear this just as much as you do. Phaedrus, that was a very well-written reply. I wished you had wrote it much earlier. :)

 

I can't help but empathize with you. I'm in a similar situation except I'm in my mid/late 20s. I grew up in a fairly conservative society and spent most of my formative teenage years in church.

 

I absolutely abhor the idea of picking up inside a bar or club. I just don't like it. It is the most unnatural thing in my opinion. Sure, I can save some money, buy the girl a drink, be funny, be a penis provider for the night and hope two drunk person to make too many terrible decisions for the night.

 

In my opinion, if you have to see an escort, do it. If it helps you to be validated as a man, to be normalized back into the "mainstream" society, then it seems like something you have to do. And there is no such thing as regular or irregular girl or girlfriend. Don't confuse sex with romance. They do sometimes go hand-in-hand but more often not. We all have our human needs, I just don't see why we have to deny ourselves something that is so essential, so human.

 

Regarding the idea of social stigma, there are just as many promiscuous men and women in the pub and clubbing scene. And the way morality stigmatized escorts these days? It's a rather recent invention. Historically, escorts often held highly regarded position in society. IMO, the whole stigma thing has little to do with morality but rather to give more power to a few person.

 

TL;DR Version:

Life is too darn short. Why waste your time staying frustrated?

[Marksman69 100]

I should be able to save up money for 2 hours, by the sounds of it that should be amount of time needed with an escort for the first time. I still have much to think about on all of this.

 

Thanks for all of the replies everyone!