The Importance of following Instructions....

[EmilyRushton 253377]

I feel the need to start this thread, due to the lack of respect and attention to following simple instructions lately. Ive worded this in reference to no one, just a generalization to a few things.

 

You contact me, we go through screening and agree on the date and time. You are told you will be contacted a few days prior with details to confirm. 3 days prior you are emailed with detailed instructions with a number and a date and time frame to call and confirm on. Scenarios as follows:

 

Scenario A) You don't call within time frame - Encounter is cancelled and time is available

 

Scenario B) You email letting me know you cant call within that time and we agree on another time in which you don't call - Same result as above - encounter cancelled.

 

Scenario C) You call and confirm and encounter goes ahead as planned

 

Scenario D) You email the morning of to ask if we are still on, yet I never heard from you - What do you think the answer to this question is?

 

Scenario E) You leave a voice mail with we emailed and Im calling no name, number or anything else in the message - Chances are the encounter will be cancelled as its very rude to call a number back and say Who's this? And Ive asked you to call me, for discretion I would rather not return the call unless I have been given the ok to do so.

 

We have a system in place that works for our own personal business, if you dont wish to follow instructions, dont waste our time. I value your time and respect your wishes on privacy, discretion and everything else. If you value mine, why does one feel its okay to not follow the simple instructions that I have given. I can be flexible with my confirmation policy when you let me know in advance.

 

I ask you to call as that is how I confirm my dates, I wont email or text you any details so you have to call (my confirmation email is very clear on this), at this point if you don't like this policy it is your time to say that you are declining our date, I wont get mad as I would prefer your honesty over wasting my time and that of someone else who would have enjoyed the visit, but due to the games someone else has played they were unable to visit.

 

When I ask you to call when your parking - I MEAN it, dont call from the lobby if I have asked you not too(considering discretion is SO important, why does the fact that your calling from in front of the hotel staff and repeating the suite number aloud not strike you as indiscreet?) Just because im not a revolving door, does not mean I want attention drawn to myself at any time. I enjoy the places I stay and wish to keep it that way. I also enjoy the company that I keep and NEVER want to jeopardize anyones privacy ever.

 

You provide me your number and ask me not to call, I follow your instructions so how hard is it to show the same respect to mine.

 

For an industry where discretion is key, I am just astounded as to why it is expected from me, but not returned by you.

 

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Recently, I've been put in a very uncomfortable situation due to someone not following instructions.

 

I had asked a gentleman to send me a quick text message to confirm his number because I knew I was going

to be busy dealing with personal things that day and would be in the presence of family members. Well, instead

of doing that, he decided to call me a few times. Obviously, I didn't answer his calls. Later that day, I checked

my emails and he apologised for calling me but said that he didn't like to send or receive text messages and

much preferred to hear my voice instead. Let's just say I wasn't my happy self when I read that.

 

I kindly told him and explained that discretion was of the utmost importance for everyone when involved in this

lifestyle only to get told that "we all play a dangerous game when we decide to play"...

 

It's only 'dangerous' and risky if the need for discretion is not understood and the guidelines/instructions

are not respected by everyone involved.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Each lady has her preferred way of doing business. This includes her own methods for contact and confirmation. Whenever she shares that or any other info - be it in her general ad or website, or through more individual and personal channels - the potential client should of course pay close attention. If the lady's way of operating turns out to not fit with the potential client's zone of comfort, then it's time for the client to gracefully move on - no harm, no foul. After all, there's a match for every taste and preference somewhere out there.

 

In addition to the specific reasons for each particular step in a lady's own personal protocol, I think it would be fair to say that there's always an additional general reason for a client to pay careful heed and take all her instructions very seriously - no matter exactly what the actual details of the lady's request is, or why she's made that request. If a potential client demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to accept what the lady asks of him in the first place, that will very likely be interpreted by the lady as a warning that he may also ignore her instructions and boundaries again later on, possibly in an even more sensitive situation.

 

Ladies don't like risks - they only have to be wrong once for it to have potentially catastrophic consequences. So they'll tend to err on the side of caution in the face of any sort of red flag thrown up by we the potential clients. "Doesn't Follow Instructions" is such a red flag.

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Emily great reminder for all. I have no problem following a ladies process. And as said if I'm not comfortable then I find someone else. I too HIGHLY value discretion and am always amazed how understanding and professional the ladies are with my restrictions. Respect up front and thru the process sure makes for a great date. Cub

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[roamingguy 300292]

Simple following instructions, common sense, and discretion.

Don't do anything that will cause anyone's eyebrows to be raised, especially front desk, well any hotel staff for that matter

And when in the hotel, blend in, like you belong there, not like your lost trying to find your way around

RG

[fortunateone 156618]

My contact method is at the end of my ad. Someone who is not following that simple request tells me they did not read my ad. Why would I want to see someone who doesn't know who they are contacting? Why would I want to see someone who thinks that they know better than I do as to how i want them to reach me.

 

My ad says no texts. After someone texted me on 4 different days over a couple of weeks, never having spoken to him before, I pick up the phone and call him back after receiving the 4th one word text. And speak to him as I prefer. He took issue with me telling him that there is a reason for the instructions, claims he 'didn't need a lecture' and hung up.

 

The reason is I do not have text messaging on my landline.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Yes I have had many awkward moments dealing with booking protocol.

There is a reason why I do things the way I do. It is for the discretion that is needed for safety for both of us. Also to assure a nice, smooth easy date. I never like to feel rushed into a meeting. I work in my home, so therefore, in order for us to have a good time, I must feel that everything is in it's proper place and clean. I like to book one day advance( when I work at home, travel is different) this way I can be sure not to have too much traffic in one day.

 

My biggest problem is.....

 

I do not mind txting for info, but I like to have a phone call for confirmations. So when you inquire and I give you the info, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not think you can txt me all day long with sexting!! It is awkward for me, as I may be in a bank meeting, eating lunch with my mom, who knows! And it is time consuming, and last time I checked, I do accept donations for my time. Lot of the time if they continue sexting me, I ill just cancel the appt, as I feel this is a sign of a person who is rude and inconsiderate. I really get annoyed when they can see all my pics on albums, but yet they want another pic sent from phone. Like I am going to really excuse myself during a bank meeting to take a pic in the bathroom, lol....I DO NOT SEND pornographic pic's ever on my phone or anything else! Why not come and see it yourself! lol....

Another issue I come up against, is the person who txt or send IM and I do not answer right away, I may be cleaning or whatever, and I look at the phone and they have sent 5 txt saying hello...where are you....are you mad at me?....if you dont want to talk, just say so....etc....PLEASE do not do this! If I do not answer i could be with a client, or taking care of personal things and will get your txt when I have the time. No need to get mad at me for it!

 

K, there is my rant, lol....

 

Just always remember there is a method behind my madness.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I receive at least one email a day explaining why they can't follow my rules

and would I see them anyway. I find this very frustrating,as all my expectations are clearly posted on my web page ,along with "no exceptions

are made" ,clearly stated.As said ,we all have our different procedures to follow,when booking an appointment.They differ just as our ways of play differ.We post these because it is what makes us feel secure,protected and comfortable when excepting a booking.I have heard time and time again gentlemen saying they have been "blackmailed",or heard stories of someone using personal information in a

fallicious way so they don't want to give any out.I wish some men would realize that when they deal with a "professional" sp this should never happen

and discretion is a two way street,we provide it but also expect it.To be blunt, if you want to know where I am ,I should be able to know who you are!!

[mrgreen760 37785]

Common sense really. If I don't like someone's booking rules or conditions rather than ignoring, debating or trying to change their rules....I just move along.

 

None of this is life or death to me.

 

Peace

MG

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Good thread Emily. Thanks for starting it!

 

I think I'm pretty easy to get along with as long as I'm comfortable and feel safe. I have clear standards and requirements that I believe are more than reasonable. I have many clients who have never objected to my screening methods and I'm as busy as I want to be. To me, this means that the things I ask for fit within reasonable parameters.

 

Some men are very reluctant to divulge information that may make them traceable in some way. They're entitled to their views. I don't think that anyone should do things they're not comfortable doing, whether they're a paid companion or a client. I reckon that if my screening requirements are too difficult for someone, he'll find another companion who may be more comfortable with him. What I know for sure is that no one is entitled to see me unless I choose to have the meeting.

 

I turn down almost 75% of those who contact me whether because they want things I don't provide, seem to be time-wasters rather than serious clients, refuse to follow my screening or are disrespectful in some way. Some of the disrespectful ones object to being screened and, rather than saying so politely, insult me by pointing out that I'm just a whore, that I must be planning to set them up somehow or that I'm desperate. These guys are no loss to me!

 

The ones who want to argue about or ignore following basic instructions, whether about screening or directions to my place, too often will inappropriately attempt to control other aspects of our encounter if we meet. I'm not interested in having power struggles with clients.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Rocket science ???? Nope. Basic instructions 101

 

Great thread and awesome comments.

 

Two things that really bother me in this world is... a:) inability to willingly follow very basic rules and b:) extreme arrogance. And I think both come in to play many times here.

 

A couple I will comment on

 

 

Quoting Em:

 

"When I ask you to call when your parking - I MEAN it, dont call from the lobby if I have asked you not too(considering discretion is SO important, why does the fact that your calling from in front of the hotel staff and repeating the suite number aloud not strike you as indiscreet?) Just because im not a revolving door, does not mean I want attention drawn to myself at any time. I enjoy the places I stay and wish to keep it that way. I also enjoy the company that I keep and NEVER want to jeopardize anyones privacy ever."

 

To me this is a huge discretion issue, a danger issue and total common sense...it can seriously jeopardize the safety as well as personal wellbeing of Emily ....as well as the gentlemen that may visit with her in the future at this hotel. I may not be the sharpest tack in the box perhaps...but that is a pretty simple instruction to follow I am thinking and a very very important one :icon_rolleyes:

 

 

Quoting Samantha:

 

"Some of the disrespectful ones object to being screened and, rather than saying so politely, insult me by pointing out that I'm just a whore, that I must be planning to set them up somehow or that I'm desperate. These guys are no loss to me!"

This I love Samantha !!! The fella can go :aol_poundit:

 

"insult me by pointing out that I'm just a whore"

Ahhhhhh yes....the guy that thinks because he has his wallet out and is paying then he is better than you.... that attitude spells SCUM....and once again he can go :aol_poundit: or get one of these perhaps:aol_fakepussy:

[roamingguy 300292]

Just some quick additional comments.

I make initial contact usually by email, unless the lady has another preferred method of contact

My personal preference is text over phone call, only because if in public, a text message is private, where as phone calls, depending on where you are, or the lady is, can be overheard by other people. And you can reply to a text at your convenience.

That said, if the lady wishes a phone call, I'll happily oblige, I'll just ask what is a good time to call...and me, maybe overcautious, but I leave my apartment, and find an area to park away from everyone to discretely make the call

And I use text messages usually for final confirmation, giving room number etc (usually I do outcalls)...but I'm not one of those texters (or sexters) looking to strike up conversations....not only do I have a life, I respect the fact the ladies have a life too.

The ladies have simple instructions designed for their comfort, safety and scheduling needs. They allow us...yes allow us to be alone with them intimately, the least we can do is follow simple basic instructions

Some ramblings

RG

[Bear34 1339]

I'm new here and I'm very glad I saw this thread.

I'm trying to learn all I can so I don't disrespet anyone.

 

and this post gives out very good information for new members and old members thanks for this post.

[VexingVixen 2519]

I am continually amazed at how in one breath somone will ask me to be discrete, but later refuses to provide me with the same.

 

Remember that we are above all business owners, as well as real people. Give me the same respect anyone else deserves.

 

I might be a whore, but you're the one that wants to play. Be nice.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

This is a topic that is always on my mind and I never know how to approach it without sounding upset or hurt that anyone would think I do not value them and their privacy/discretion. It makes me feel like I am being disrespected and my privacy doesn't matter because I'm being paid for my time. Well is does and greatly so. I am in this industry by choice, to have fun, build a business, maintain a great reputation and make some awesome friends on my journey.

When I am questioned as to why I require certain information, it is for my safety. My safety comes first. I always think why would I ruin my reputation over one person by putting their privacy in jeopardy? With that being said if someone doesn't want to provide such information, there is always someone waiting that will.

I expect the same courtesy to be extended to me in regards to privacy and discretion.

 

Put the shoe on the other foot, the client being the SP. The date has been booked the SP is waiting for a complete stranger to arrive. They have a name, cell and possibly an email and forum handle. In those last 10 minutes before this complete stranger who was unwillingly to give any real information about them self is about to enter the SP's personal space or the SP is about to enter the clients, how do you think the are feeling at that exact moment. Scared, nervous and possibly shaking. The SP is not comfortable and ready to have a relaxed great encounter. Scary to see a certain scenario coming from an SP and imaging you being that SP. It is exciting meeting new people but the communication and the feeling of safety needs to be there, at least for me and many SP's.

Some SP's have no problem with this and can just see about anyone with a name and cell, is that safe IMHO no but everyone is entitled to run their business the way they choose. Some/many prefer to take the much safer road traveled.

 

I guess my point is when an SP asks for certain information, please take in to consideration that it is for their safety and nothing else, we value our lives and the safety of others.

[roamingguy 300292]

From a guy's, well this guy's point of view, regarding giving information, or verification if you will

When I was a wet behind the ears newbie, one of the misconceptions I had about this lifestyle, it was only an anonymous no strings attached sexual encounter. The ladies had no need for my personal information, my privacy was important

Well a few encounters, and a lot of learning, through the posts and forums on CERB the reason for verification is perfectly valid...it's a tool the ladies use to help ensure their safety...they are after all, being alone with a man who is for all intent purposes, a stranger. Yes, a gentleman's privacy is important. But on the scale of things, a lady's safety and life IMHO outweigh a man's privacy

And look at it from the ladies' viewpoint. You don't trust a lady with your personal information, but you expect her to blindly trust you with her safety and life

As for the issue of breaching privacy, what would a lady hope to gain...really?

Break up your marriage...why?

Blackmail...unless your filthy rich, this is an activity using disposable income. Most of us aren't well enough off to have enough money to be blackmailed. And a lady makes far more by being a good SP than any possible money to be made by blackmail

And if you have that much mistrust in a lady that you plan on seeing, that giving her your personal information makes you uncomfortable, maybe you should think about seeing someone you feel more comfortable with.

What I've found, in initial email contact, when giving verification information, it's much like a big ice breaker. And when you finally meet, a lot of trust has already been established, leading to in my experience, great encounters

But that's this guy's view

RG

[cometman 35115]

I haven't had many encounters, but the ones I have had have been superb- simply awesome. One of the reasons I say awesome is because I am in awe of these ladies. They have to overcome fear with every new encounter because they have no idea who or what they are about to meet. I know I'm a nice guy, I know I'm respectful, I know I'm harmless.......they don't. Maybe they see my interactions on here, perhaps my polite emails and text messages impress.....I dunno how they do it......I would crap my drawers if the positions were reversed. It may be the oldest profession in the world, but the world has changed. To me, these women on here are goddesses and I worship their bravery and trusting souls. It's a privilege getting to know them and one of the best parts of any encounter is the interaction leading up to anything that may happen...especially the first minutes of the actual face-face. Not following their instructions or directions is something that would never occur to me. I honestly feel like they're doing ME a favor- not the other way around.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Lexy Grace said pretty much the way I see it as well...And completely agree with the notion of " I should be able to ask....if you are asking this of me too..."

 

I for one do not ask for much information, as I have noticed a great deal of

" uncomfortable-ness" with this issue, as they seem to always studier and hesitate over this, so to make you feel better, I will go on good faith. I also rarley see dates outside of this site. Most of the time, only accepting my donation at the end of a date...I have not been steered wrong yet....but perhaps that is just luck??? ( many of which appreciate this from me)

 

But for me, I am very comfortable with my clientle, rarely take someone without getting to know a bit about them first. And I do look at your profile and get an idea from that if you are recognized member here or not. If you are new member then I may ask more detailed info, but for the most part go on good faith that you are honest and true. But I am certainly more cautious when I travel...

 

So in a way ....Your participation here on the site will reflect on your reputation here, and will make it easier for me to " screen" you... Just as you seek me out....I will follow up on your rep here too:)

[cometman 35115]

At the risk of being labelled a "shill"......Sophia, you were one of my "few" and I'll be forever in your debt. We'd never met, I ran late, it was a cold and dreary night (lol), and you were so damned accommodating and sweet that I felt guilty. To me, an SP who is supposed to be GFE should have a pic of Sophia in her ad. I broke a rule or 2 (inadvertently) when trying to meet Sophia for the first time and she just pretended it didn't happen. She was my first SP and, thanks to her- not my last.

[Secrets of Victoria 7208]

I absolutely LOVE this post that Emily has put up!

 

I wonder how many of us have had to go through this with clients?

 

I would love to 'steal' this from Emily to put on my website! lol (with her permission of course), so that clients may get a clue.

 

I agree with what Sophia said, with the endless 'sexting'.

Too many times I will be in a meeting, and get asked for, 'can u just send a quick pic of you naked so I can get through the day until our time' scenario!!

Everyone knows the answer to this will be a very quick no.

I am not here for you to jack off too.

 

I have an etiquette that I keep in place, all I ask is that the client respect that, discretion wise, as I know that I am discrete.

I would NEVER consider calling someone, unless I was instructed to. And I agree again with the calling form a hotel lobby .... how discrete is that?

I love the places that I stay too, and want to keep going back to the upscale places.

 

I am discrete when I walk into your hotel, please have the same respect for me when you walk into mine.

[Guest L**gh M****e]

Great thread and useful information for sure! All comments made in posts have such great information for us novice and all cerbies. I always respect what each says, however, I do take in great consideration those SP's and hobbyist who've been here for awhile! Awesome great pointers, indeed! I Learn from most of you and through my own experiences.

 

I am quite blunt, but respectful and considerate. If they don't respect my instructions which is posted on everyone of my ads, then I don't bother to reply. It's that simple but some don't listen. Those are the ones that I won't give the time or day, only under extreme circumstances will I go outside the lines.

 

In any event, great thread and two thumbs up!

[Rodster 476]

Hello everyone, I've just joined Lyla although I'm not new to the life. I just want to say I'm impressed with this thread and especially, the number of Ladies who have commented and provided their perspectives. I appreciate their involvement and contributions. Thanks for the candor. This should be required reading for any newbie and as remedial review for the non-newb.

[April Dawn 12207]

Ahhhh *snuggles back into Lyla after a break*

Discretion.

Well I have recently stepped up my screening requirements and stopped wasting my time holding a potential clients hand who can't follow simple instructions trying to lead them through the process. If I feel at any time even the slightest doubt about a clients discretion he goes on my decline list.

Posted via Mobile Device

[ostirch 1668]

When I book an appointment, I sometimes find myself overcome by nervousness and have trouble thinking straight. Instructions when they are too complicated can be overwhelming, phone-number here, street corner there, intercom code to get in the building, apt number different from the intercom code and floor number has no relation to the apt number... It's sometimes hard to memorize these things with your penis!

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Perhaps going back to post #1 and reading the thread would be a good idea?

 

The thread subject is: The Importance of following Instructions....

and not personal updated screening process/booking protocol announcements.

Each city has their own advertising section.

 

I have read it and have participated as well. My mistake, sorry.