Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted February 20, 2012 dunn2010 was a Cerb member for 2 years, and made 37 posts on a variety of subjects, including multiple recos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royalfun 55449 Report post Posted February 20, 2012 forgive me for I didn't read every post in this thread but does anyone even know this member? Sounds like a shill post by some misguided "do-gooder" who wants to change the world by trying to guilt some people into changing their behaviour. There is just an air of inauthenticity to his/her post if you ask me. It has crossed my mind also. At the same time, it gave us the opportunity to share our thoughts on the purpose of CERB and what it does in our lives. And I am happy to see that members of this community shared their views in an balance manner, each from their point of view. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted February 20, 2012 There is no evidence whatsoever that dunn's post wasn't authentic ... As WIT has correctly pointed out, he had been a member for quite a while, posted on many different topics and provided reviews. It's not logical at all ... and frankly bordering on ridiculous ... to say that he made it up or was just a throwing a message board "bomb," or anything like that. I think maybe because some of you don't like the message you are starting to attack the messenger. Maybe many here don't like what he had to say, and I think it's fair to criticize and comment on the points he raises, but don't make this personal. Please, please go back and read the original post ... his "warning," for lack of a better term, is directed at married guys. It seems to me to be from the heart and to that group, this is something they need to hear as a reality check now and then. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted February 20, 2012 This lifestyle of escorts does not lead to unfulfilled marriages. Unfulfilled marriages lead you to us. From my understanding, this profession has actually saved many marriages from breaking up. We intelligent and caring women provide an invaluable service to men. Lauren Perhaps the OP should thank cerb in allowing him to pursue outside interests, and eventually coming around to the decision that his relationship is more important to him than seeing sps. Without a safe place, like cerb, to find such provdiers, who knows what would have happened. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest **n****er Report post Posted February 20, 2012 I'm pretty straight forward on this. Unfortunately I'm in a similar spot as the OP so I can speak generally from that perspective. We're men. Not boys. We make a call and have to live with the consequences. Let's not ever be naive enough to think cerb or any other social media is the cause of what destroys our relationships. The truth of the matter is I more than likely would have left this marriage if I hadn't found cerb. There is always something missing that leads us here in the first place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted February 21, 2012 We're men. Not boys. We make a call and have to live with the consequences. Yup. In my earlier post in this thread, I almost invoked my second-favourite* quotation: "Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men." You need to know the rules and understand their purpose, but one of the privileges and burdens of being an adult is that you can choose to bend or break them. But the responsibility is on YOU. You need to use your hard-earned wisdom to decide when a situation warrants breaking a rule, and also when and how you go about it. * My MOST favourite quotation is "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds", because it's along the same lines, PLUS it's got "hobgoblin" in it! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bewlayb 7480 Report post Posted February 21, 2012 There is no evidence whatsoever that dunn's post wasn't authentic ... As WIT has correctly pointed out, he had been a member for quite a while, posted on many different topics and provided reviews. It's not logical at all ... and frankly bordering on ridiculous ... to say that he made it up or was just a throwing a message board "bomb," or anything like that. I think maybe because some of you don't like the message you are starting to attack the messenger. The real discussion going on here is, "What did he say?" and "What did he mean by what he said?" Only the OP knows for sure... and he's not here. I'm not questioning the authenticity of the OP, but I do take exception to his dropping a "bomb" and then leaving the room. The reason so much is being read into his message is because he's not here to clarify his hurried message or resolve our misreading of it. When you're in such a rush to get out of town, keep your controversial thoughts to yourself, say a pleasant goodbye to everyone (if you must say something), and quietly move on. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted February 23, 2012 I have been thinking about the original post now for a few days and wished to make a comment. We all have in our lives made choices that at the time seemed to be the correct choice for us, but then time and experience proved otherwise. One learns from their choices, and one must always accept whatever consequences come from the choices that we make. I read the post in perhaps a different way from that of many of the people who responded. It is of course impossible to know, but I sense a man who made an error personally, who has recognized that he made an error, and simply wishes to caution others who may be in his position to think perhaps a little longer and harder about the choices that they make than he himself did originally. Words can be difficult to interpret at times, but I felt that he was saying that it was HIS participation in the forum that caused his difficulties - not that the community of CERB itself was at fault. It can be very easy to go with the "Grass is greener on the other side," philosophy or sometimes it is too easy to rush into a decision or choice. I for one would appreciate the caution that he extended and perhaps his post has been the little encouragement for some to work harder at their marriage and with their families. Think before you act is wise advice in most scenarios and situations in life and is always valid. I feel very badly for him that the experience has led to the difficulties that apparently he now has to deal with. However as with all experiences, one learns from them and oftentimes in the long term one benefits from our mistakes and misfortunes as difficult as that may be to do. May this be the case for this gentleman and I hope that he and his family will become stronger and more appreciative of each other as a result of waht was for him, a misjudgement. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ostirch 1668 Report post Posted February 24, 2012 I did not take it personally as well... That said, in contrast to the OP's warning, the few encounters I have had over the years with SP's have deeply enriched my life. And this very much to my surprise and, as someone who is in long-term committed relationship. It's not what happens in life, it's what one does with it that brings happiness. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ****ven Report post Posted February 28, 2012 Cerb does not make you commit adultery. I'm sorry that things have gone off with your marriage, however I have also seen individuals whose marriages have been saved by turning to alternative companionship. You cannot dwell in the past, and blaming cerb for your own fallings will not save your marriage. The only thing that you can do now is to fix the situation, be honest and try to make amends. I hope you can resolve this, if it is truly what your heart desires. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted February 29, 2012 I don't have a problem with his post. I also don't see any benefit to questioning his motives too much, at this point, as he is no longer listening? Confession can be cathartic or "good for the soul". I suspect that's what he was hoping to accomplish with his final post. I for one was glad to hear his confession as it made me think about my own situation. It seems to have got a lot of you thinking as well, which is never a bad thing. This will either reaffirm your own beliefs, challenge them or change them. No judgements here. Now I have some of my own thinking to do... Steve p.s. I'm always impressed by how respectful everyone on cerb is, that's very rare for an internet site! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldblueeyez 15475 Report post Posted March 1, 2012 This will be my last post on here, i wish I had realized this sooner and I now hope I can somehow fix the devastation i have caused to my wife, children and family. So if your at this cross roads in your life, log off and go hug your wife. I wish I had... YAWN! Devastation? What devastation? Hiroshima was devastation! You'll simply get a divorce, you'll finally be single and able to get your freak on whenever you want, your ex will find another man, you and your ex will be civil to each other and you'll still be a good Dad and see the kids every weekend and contribute positively to their lives. Life goes on. It seems you have love and emotional security but a lacklustre sex life. My advice would be to continue your journey to find a relationship which possesses great love AND great sex; in the meantime, screw your brains out! ;-) You are doing you and your wife no great favours by maintaining the boring status quo. Kids understand divorce these days. No biggie. The thing is, be civil to each other afterwards, for the good of the kids. As for money, let her have her 50%. It's just numbers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted March 1, 2012 YAWN! Devastation? What devastation? Hiroshima was devastation! You'll simply get a divorce, you'll finally be single and able to get your freak on whenever you want, your ex will find another man, you and your ex will be civil to each other and you'll still be a good Dad and see the kids every weekend and contribute positively to their lives. Life goes on. It seems you have love and emotional security but a lacklustre sex life. My advice would be to continue your journey to find a relationship which possesses great love AND great sex; in the meantime, screw your brains out! ;-) You are doing you and your wife no great favours by maintaining the boring status quo. Kids understand divorce these days. No biggie. The thing is, be civil to each other afterwards, for the good of the kids. As for money, let her have her 50%. It's just numbers. This guy was saying just the opposite ... For him, it was Hiroshima. Nothing wrong with that and I wish him the best in sorting this out. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ulixestrojan 3757 Report post Posted March 2, 2012 Wow. Interesting that this post goes on and on. Cerb is a community and website. Good or Bad is our decision. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
