How to tell if a someone is into you

[Jabba 18389]

One of nature's genuine mysteries (for me) is how to read sexual attraction body language. And, by reading body language, I mean how to figure out if he/she wants to take it to the next level. Since I'm a guy and absolutely straight, I'm going to discuss from the guy's POV.

 

I admit - I was either born an idiot, an autistic and have ABSOLUTELY no instinctive knowledge how the species procreates....I really don't. I REALLY don't understand the female and etc...good god, where do I start??

 

So, when I was younger, I met women & almost immediately, they started scratching their heads - fluffing up the hair, scraping it back, fluff, scrape, fluff, scrape - wtf, they got fleas? Later, I read this is called "pruning".

 

Later, I read that when females are rude to you, that's also a prelude to mating. Really?? I think it's just a subtle (or unsubtle) message to tell you to FUCK OFF.

 

Why is it so hard to understand the rituals?

Are males just as hard to understand?

[April Dawn 12207]

Usually once Im done scraping the drool off their chins I have a pretty good idea.

Posted via Mobile Device

[MightyPen 67414]

I can sympathize. I was a weird, bookish, nerdy kid and FIRMLY on the outside of society throughout high school. People's behaviour frequently made no sense to me, especially in groups. Dating was absolutely out of the question, and I learned to dismiss even the possibility that any woman would find me interesting or attractive. Intimacy was simply not available to me.

 

This started to fix in my early 20s, but slowly. I learned things the hard way through a series of disasters. But I still took forever to catch on when anyone was interested in me, and I know it cost me lots of opportunities. Ah, well.

 

Now that it's 20 years on that stuff is largely resolved, but in some respects I'm still a high-functioning imbecile when it comes to certain interpersonal signals. I'm just not thinking the same way as most people most of the time. *Shrug* I've come to accept it, and things haven't turned out too badly.

[roamingguy 300292]

I find if the lady shows up at my hotel, and stays for a encounter, that's a good sign (tongue in cheek here)

RG

[castle 38816]

I'm totally in the same boat. Completely oblivious to the signs. I'm often out with friends and they will often comment on how "this girl" or "that girl" was checking me out....and I'm always like "Huh? What are you smoking? How did you pick that up?" and they'll always reply like "She was totally playing with her hair the whole time!"..........are you effin' kidding me? Or "Dude...she was totally smiling at you!"......to which I usually reply "uhhhh...yeah.....she was our waitress....she's supposed to smile at us" And I always get "No, no, no it was the WAY she smiled at you!"......How the hell is anyone supposed to pick up on this shit?? I'm totally a lost cause when it comes to reading signals.....unless she pretty much drops to her knees and starts undoing my pants right then and there I'm more or less oblivious to the fact that she's into me lol

 

I still don't quite understand why a lot of women (in my experience anyway) can't come on to men the same way we do. You're into me? Great! TELL me! Men aren't known for being the most intelligent things walking around on this dirtball....you're giving us too much credit if you think we're gonna figure this shit out on our own. I think I can count on one hand the amount of times a lady has actually asked ME out. I'm not an unattractive guy, so I know there's been plenty more who have wanted to. But it seems a lot of women still refuse to make the "first movie". As much as our society and the views of the sexes has changed and progressed....in this one respect it still seems like we're living in the 50's. The man is still the one who seems to be doing all the work in the "courting" process. At least in the majority of my experience.

 

Would it be so much to ask for a woman to give ME a lame and probably offensive pick up line in a bar? Would it be so much for a woman on the bus to shamelessly stare at my ass or at the crotch of my pants? Would it be so much to ask to have obscene comments and gestures thrown my way every time I walk past a hair salon? No....I don't think so! :p

 

'Kay I'm done ranting now lol

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

If I'm attracted to you and have reason to believe that you're available, I will make sure you know I'm interested. Admittedly, I'm what some might call a bit "forward." But I figure that, not only is life short, it's also not a dress rehearsal!

 

If I'm attracted to you, I will look at you directly, making eye contact. I will smile at you quite a bit. I may find excuses to touch your arm, your hand or your shoulder, or encourage you to be close to me, as in looking at a menu, a theatre program or even a package label together. I will make light banter, sprinkled with a couple of jokes, if I can. If I succeed at engaging your attention, I will laugh with you, too. If we're among a group of people, I may find an opportunity to give you, alone, a gesture or a look or to speak softly so that only you can hear what I say. If I really like you, I may let down my guard with you briefly, perhaps telling you something personal about myself that I don't share with others so quickly. That's an invitation for you to get to know me better.

 

I confess that I find a measure of male uncertainty to be charming. If I'm attracted to you and realize that you're unsure about whether you're reading me accurately, I will take the initiative. I will tell you, directly, that I like you, that I think we may have things in common, that you seem like someone I would enjoy knowing better and so on. And I have no qualms about asking a man out. However, I will only take the initiative once. If the offer isn't accepted, I drop it. I may flirt with you a bit after that, but I tend to flirt with everyone. It will be up to you to take the next step to move things along.

 

However, I won't stare at your crotch or your ass! Men are more than body parts to me and my attraction to a man has very little to do with his physical assets alone. Similarly, men who obviously stare at my breasts or, worse, talk to them, have no chance with me.

 

If you want to let me know that you find me attractive and would like to know me better, engage with me. Pay attention to what I say and take me seriously. Don't compliment my looks much, if at all; if you do say anything, avoid generalizations and focus on a detail, such as the colour of my blouse or the shape of an earring. I know I'm an attractive woman: hearing that I'm lovely doesn't mean much to me, but that you've really noticed something does make an impression.

[CristyCurves 169032]

:makeout:I think if you like someone or find someone interesting or attractive you should just come out and tell then,I don't believe in rituals or signs,games,simply directness.As samantha said life is short,it's not a dress rehersal,so do it!But do it or say it right,as I can only speak for myself,I will say I hate corny lines and come ons,just plain old polite directness is best.

The best compliment I've been given was when I was told how kindhearted I was,that this person could tell I was a "good" person and intelligent.Complimenting someone on their obvious physical traits can become old and redundant,besides ones physical attractiveness is not the be all and end all,it's whats inside the wrapper thats the most important.

[loopie 15358]

Honestly, I don't envy women in this department at all.

 

If women hollered at me in the street or oogled my package in long creepy leers I would hate it. The most direct a woman can be without intimidating me is to just be friendly and smiley etc. I realize this is a bit strange coming from somebody who participates in hobby where I have sex with a woman less than five minutes after meeting her, but I actually like to take things slow and get to know each other. If a woman came at me with some really sexual pickup line, it would just make me uncomfortable.

[mrgreen760 37785]

They smile when you hand them the envelope :)

 

Peace

MG