fineliner 112 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 I mean, it's all there in the title, really. Is this a good idea? Long version: It just never really happened for me. I'm not nightmarishly disfigured or a hillbilly mutant or anything; in fact, I'm pretty average in a lot of ways. Intelligent (but not an expert in anything), decent looking (but I could stand to drop 15 pounds and my pop's hair genes aren't doing me any favours), funny (but you're not going to see me take over the room), amiable (but with a cynical streak), etc. Apologies if the first part of that post sounded like a personal ad, but I'm fed up. The situation is starting to become a bit of a neurosis. The underlying awareness that I'm still a virgin makes it harder to talk to girls and to push the issue, makes it harder to shoot the s*** with other guys, and just generally saps my confidence. And I'm a phonecall and a paycheck away from addressing it. But I've never gone through with it. Anybody else ever been in this situation? I'm guessing no, so is there anyone who'd care to offer an outside perspective? Thanks. And if you're going to savagely mock me, at least keep it witty. :wink::lol: 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest i***k*** Report post Posted December 20, 2008 I mean, it's all there in the title, really. Is this a good idea? Long version: It just never really happened for me. I'm not nightmarishly disfigured or a hillbilly mutant or anything; in fact, I'm pretty average in a lot of ways. Intelligent (but not an expert in anything), decent looking (but I could stand to drop 15 pounds and my pop's hair genes aren't doing me any favours), funny (but you're not going to see me take over the room), amiable (but with a cynical streak), etc. Apologies if the first part of that post sounded like a personal ad, but I'm fed up. The situation is starting to become a bit of a neurosis. The underlying awareness that I'm still a virgin makes it harder to talk to girls and to push the issue, makes it harder to shoot the s*** with other guys, and just generally saps my confidence. And I'm a phonecall and a paycheck away from addressing it. But I've never gone through with it. Anybody else ever been in this situation? I'm guessing no, so is there anyone who'd care to offer an outside perspective? Thanks. And if you're going to savagely mock me, at least keep it witty. :wink::lol: Go for it, just do a ton of research first and make sure to pick a very well rated lady. I'd probably go the GFE route for your first one as well. Just remember that she really isn't your girlfriend. :) Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AmberWyld 311 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 Hello Sweetie, Go for it if you REALLY want it, but don't do it just to pleaae some friends and so forth. Find a girl that has a good personality, and let her know its your first time. She'll take it slower with you and help you to ease through the whole process. As inaluki said, go with the GFE for your first time. The MSOG will definatley pay off... Wink! Wink! And REMEMBER, we are friendly, show affection, love what we do, and act like your girlfriend sexually and intimately, but are NOT, nor can we replace that in your heart. Good luck Hun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 Once again, Amber provides some excellent advice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted December 20, 2008 I would agree with all that's been said. I don't know where you are located so it's hard for any of us to make specific recommendations...which would be best in a pm form....don't want the ladies to think we're playing favorites. I think if i were in your shoes I'd pick an older sp i.e. in her thirties. who is well reviewed and recommended by some of the long time/elite members on this board. Your chemistry and experieince will differ of course but usually the more mature ladies have the experience to really "do you up" right. I think you'll find your confidence with hot women will go way up after a few good shaggings with a hot sp. Good luck and good hunting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted December 20, 2008 Yes fineliner, I've been in your situation, only (trust me on this) waaaaaay worse. My first experience was with an escort, and I have nothing but the fondest of memories. My 2-cents would be: Best to pursue an escort who has collected a bunch of good recommendations. I think I'd be safe to guess that it doesn't take very long for an escort in this business to have seen it all (and then some!), so a number of good recommendations for any particular escort would (statistically speaking) be a tip-off that she has the gift of pleasing clients of all shapes, sizes, personalities and quirks. (You think you have quirks? She'll no doubt point out that you don't know from quirks!) Of course interpersonal chemistry makes a difference here, but it's not so easy to predict. Escorts are definitely people persons, and do seem to really enjoy their clients on a fundamental human level, not just the "services" aspect. They're in this thing with you, fineliner. They're cheering for you and beside you. You: bring honesty and a positive attitude. They: rock your world! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
West 220 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 I sometimes think that going with an SP my first time would have been preferable. At least then one of us would have known what the hell they were doing! :lol: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest i***k*** Report post Posted December 20, 2008 i sometimes think that going with an sp my first time would have been preferable. At least then one of us would have known what the hell they were doing! :lol: hahahaha! :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hunter08 182 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 what a way to go make sure you find a good one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest **g*or*** Report post Posted December 20, 2008 Dude, I was in the same boat as you. In my case, long story short, I looked young for my age, and I was the awkward geek in my high school. Add to that a spotty dating track record in university, and I was 23 and not gotten to home base. But here's where I can echo the advice of the other board members: I had a poor experience with the SP who popped my cherry - to say her manner was mechanical puts it mildly. She was a nice woman, don't get me wrong, but we had no chemistry, and she was just there for the cash. Not long after I met another SP who I clicked greatly with, and had better times. So follow Amber's advice: read up on the reviews and the recommendations on this board, and go for it with someone who you feel you'll both click with, and will make your first time worthwhile. GFE is the way to go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted December 20, 2008 It's not a bad idea and there's a lot more to it than just losing your cherry. I find that frequenting SP's from time to time does a lot for your psyche in a way that may help you get laid by regular girls. It's kinda like practice, you know? And not just the sex, but the interaction with a girl in a sexual/sensual manner. Even the chit chat you have with them is valuable because it could give you confidence that hey, you're definitely doable! Of course the right SP will make the difference and as long as you realize that it's not technically real, it could help you gain that small bit of swagger you need to help you out with girls in general. When I was younger and frustrated with not getting lucky, the fact I wasn't getting any made it worse. But maybe thinking "hey, I can get laid whenever I want, I don't have to put so much pressure on myself!" knowing that you're a phone call (and a few $$) away from it...might help, who knows? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
o*****j***e 136 Report post Posted December 21, 2008 If you do go through with this, please follow up, i'm sure alot of us on here would like to hear how it went. Good Luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MissAva 376 Report post Posted December 21, 2008 Sweetie, if it is something that you can look back on with no regrets, then I say go for it. However, I would suggest a gfe, rather then a pse. Realistic would be key. Do you homework, figure out what you truly want your first experience to be and go from there. The more info you give an SP the better they will be able to make your dreams come true. I think you are very brave an couragous to bring this thread up. I wish you nothing but the best with whom ever you decide to go with. Remember that there is no need to be nervous... we are all professionals and we are here to help you sweetie, NO judgements! Kisses Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted December 21, 2008 It does bring up an interesting dilemma, will he still be a virgin afterwords? The knee jerk reaction is of course not! However give it a little more thought, like Rodney Dangerfield says about loosing his virginity he was in a closet in the dark and alone, very scary! (might not have been Rodney?) I had a GF in high school, she was a virgin and wanted to stay a virgin so she limited herself to oral and anal! Who was I to argue of course she was a virgin! So does having sex for money constitute your first time or is it practice? hmmm, just a thought. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted December 21, 2008 So does having sex for money constitute your first time or is it practice? Point very well taken. Mind you, even though I might not have gotten picked for the next game's starting lineup ... a scrimmage on the practice field is still a lot more fun alternative than to just work out on the Soloflex while reading the team's playbook. (Ha!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest f***2f*** Report post Posted December 21, 2008 Well I think he would be losing his virginity. If he's never had vaginal sex with a woman before and he gets it then his cherry is now busted (metaphorically speaking). I suppose it's the old argument about making love versus fucking....I'm never sure on this one...i love to fuck so fucking is loving and loving is fucking....it's soooo confusing!! I think a gentle sensitive sp will bring you a long way down the road to discovering the joys of sexuality!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted December 21, 2008 There's sex for fun, which can involve pretty much anything. And then there's deep, intimate emotional commitments and loyalties. Don't confuse the two. Never be jealous about the first. And always remember, no one ever went to Hell (if there is such a place) for having too much sex with too many people (if there is such a thing). But it's a good possibility you will go there, literally or metaphorically, if you betray the intimate trust of those who love you or those whom you love. Didn't mean to sound "heavy". For me, these are just the simple basics. (I do not belong to a 12 step program. lol) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
esoterica 624 Report post Posted December 22, 2008 Sweetie, if it is something that you can look back on with no regrets, then I say go for it. However, I would suggest a gfe, rather then a pse. Realistic would be key. Do you homework, figure out what you truly want your first experience to be and go from there. The more info you give an SP the better they will be able to make your dreams come true. I think you are very brave an couragous to bring this thread up. I wish you nothing but the best with whom ever you decide to go with. Remember that there is no need to be nervous... we are all professionals and we are here to help you sweetie, NO judgements! Kisses Here I was, reading this thread, thinking "He should see Ava, who is the ultimate in beauty and charm, and lovely gentleness", and the next thing I see is that Ava has responded in a beautiful way. I think he has had his question answered. I would love to have lost my V-card with a woman as sweet and lovely as Ava. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Narman 117 Report post Posted December 23, 2008 I mean, it's all there in the title, really. Is this a good idea? Long version: It just never really happened for me. I'm not nightmarishly disfigured or a hillbilly mutant or anything; in fact, I'm pretty average in a lot of ways. Intelligent (but not an expert in anything), decent looking (but I could stand to drop 15 pounds and my pop's hair genes aren't doing me any favours), funny (but you're not going to see me take over the room), amiable (but with a cynical streak), etc. Apologies if the first part of that post sounded like a personal ad, but I'm fed up. The situation is starting to become a bit of a neurosis. The underlying awareness that I'm still a virgin makes it harder to talk to girls and to push the issue, makes it harder to shoot the s*** with other guys, and just generally saps my confidence. And I'm a phonecall and a paycheck away from addressing it. But I've never gone through with it. Anybody else ever been in this situation? I'm guessing no, so is there anyone who'd care to offer an outside perspective? Thanks. And if you're going to savagely mock me, at least keep it witty. :wink::lol: WOW! Its good that this topic has come up as I'm sure quite a few guys have lost it this way. I have a question before I give any advice/feedback though. How far have you gone with a lady before? HJ? BJ? If you've never had either of these, I'd personally suggest them first. This is for two reasons. One, and this sounds sappy, but I find that any contact with an SP/MA generally makes me feel more confident, and for some reason it just seems easier to pick up "civilian" women when you're more confident, so maybe after a little SP lovin' you'll be able to build up the confidence to pick up a lady who'll possibly want more then an appointment with you. The second reason would be that for your first you're most likely gonna be a quick shot, and as much as SPs deal with this alot i'm sure. It's never a great feeling to hardly get in a groove before you pop, so you should take it slow by getting a bj or something. Plus its a good way to test the waters before taking the plunge. But to be honest, I personally never saw the big deal with guys losing it. I personally did greek first (again, ahhh catholic girls) but i didn't feel like I was a virgin after, but I guess I was. My point is that male virginity is overrated, girls experience losing it as a right of passage, but for guys it's just doesn't seem to equate. If you choose to go with an SP, do yourself a favour and don't "fall in love". Anyway cheers, and I hope it works out for ya. Narman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RubJunky 1954 Report post Posted December 23, 2008 Sure its a great idea to lose your male cherry with an SP but you should make some emotional plans because "most" and I say most people who get down and dirty for the first time tend to fall in love at any age. The overwhelming emotional rush you get can obstruct your vision, so just be prepared, understand the feelings you're going to experience, pay the bill sit back and enjoy. rub Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BootyLoving 2441 Report post Posted January 1, 2009 How does a guy loose his cherry? If you beat off the first time, is it busted? If its not a physical change, then it must be psychological? NO? Its really perspective. If you go the SP route, and come out with no more confidence than you went in, or less, then you didn't loose your cherry. So you might be asking, what am I trying to say. Me too. I don't know. But from the sounds of your original post, you already spelt out your problem. You are thinking about it, but not executing your thoughts. Doesn't matter if you loose it to an SP or to a civilian, your problem is, you are not sure you want to loose it at all. But is it really a loss or is it in actuality, a gain? Take that Ava*! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fineliner 112 Report post Posted January 4, 2009 Thanks for all of the replies, everyone. I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to respond yet. Lots of helpful advice so far, and it has definitely encouraged me towards doing this. I'm still a little reluctant, but more because of the logistic/selection/etiquette kind of issues than the fundamental decision behind them. If anyone has any recommendations, advice or opinions that they would prefer to send by PM, that would be much appreciated. In response to some of the questions that have been raised--> Location: East end of Ottawa How far I've gone before: Handjobs and BJs, but never to completion. Drunken/awkward kissing, more stressful than pleasurable. What truly constitutes "losing your virginity": I appreciate the philosophical probing behind this line of thought, but for my purposes I'm only really interested in the physical act. I don't regret never having a fulfilling relationship, because I believe that it's something worth waiting for. I do regret missing out on sex for pleasure without any commitments. For the obvious reason that it would have been fun, and also because the lack of experience will probably make it harder to form a physical connection with any potential "civilian" lovers. Infatuation with an SP: I can definitely see how this is a danger, but like I said above, I'm more concerned with the physical aspect than the emotional one at this point. Although, admittedly, it may be presumptuous of me to assume that they are separable. The last thing I want is to become a character in a bad, quirky 1980s coming-of-age movie, though, so I would be very careful to compartmentalize my emotions if I went through this experience. Once again, thanks so much for discussing this with me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites