theoldguy 507 Report post Posted April 3, 2012 Here's an interesting story to share with the rest of you. This should be prefaced by saying that despite my lack of posts, I have been reading these forums and partaking of the various aspects of the hobby for years, usually not seeing a provider/dancer more than once as for me this has always been about variety. About a year ago I started noticing a remarkably beautiful girl in a public setting (not her workplace) that we both seemed to frequent regularly. I'd engaged in idle chatter as the setting allowed and found her company rather pleasant but did not think much of it beyond a fun way to pass the time. She was that clearly out of my league. I'd see her every so often and that was that. Skip to a few months ago when I went to a local strip xlub with some friends and realized she works there. She saw me and said hi, gave me a quick hug and walked away. Later that night I saw her in the usual public place after she was done (no creepy stalker stuff I had been planning to head there anyway.) and chatted with her like usual. Since then I've pretty much lost all appetite for the hobby except for her. I frequent her club whenever I can, and she's always quick to come say hi, but has only offered dances a few times. Typically she's just friendly but doesnt seem to view me as a client. (probably a good thing for my finances) Problem is she is on my mind 24 hours a day. All I can think about is when my next opportunity to go see her will come. Now mylogical mind knows the best solution is just to avoid her workplace and the other place I keep running into her. As an employee in the other place once joked with her "I bet you break alot of hearts." and she answered "you dont know the half of it." Guess I should avoid the hobby for a long while and find something else to do. Maybe knitting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted April 3, 2012 Cute story, things like this happen all of the time. The infatuation comes from the voyeur in all of us, you've seen her in a public setting, and then you saw her naked, now obviously it's going to fascinate you. Don't avoid her, just go see her, take a few dances, get your curiousity satisfied, and after awhile the curiosity will die down. Or maybe if she's even better in the champagne room, then a new more intense curiosity will develop. No telling which one will happen. But most likely the curiosity will die down. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LookingForFun666 230 Report post Posted April 3, 2012 Addiction comes in many forms. So does obsession. Go see a shrink now, it's probably already too late. Find another hobby! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted April 3, 2012 Go have fun, OG, you'll never know till you try! I think Whiteman is on the money here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 See her, you like her, she apparently likes you My guess, she's probably wondering when you will go see her, or she's thinking "what is wrong with me, he doesn't see me" You don't have to see her every day and go broke, treat yourself once a month if that's what you can afford, and see her. A quick rambling RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 Ahead and enjoy yourself but always keep the right perspective :) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royalfun 55449 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 This hobby like some activities, is an extreme sport; it is fascinating, exciting, but the risks are numerous, and if you practice this activity you must be aware of what you are risking. It is risky for SPs and MAs and it is risky for hobbiests. We know the risks relating to health, safety, the financial risks (an addiction can cost a lot), and the risks of hurting ourselves with expectations on the other that she or he will not be able to fullfil. Like in extreme sport, people get hurt; some will recover, some wont. It's up to each of us to know our own limit, our real expectations to do this hobby, and at some point to know when it is time to stop. I dont think there are magical solutions to this. Learning and listening to ourselves could be a way. Sharing your thoughts is another. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cometman 35115 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 I wish you all the luck.....cuz it occasionally happens.....but keep the wall up. "Pretty Woman" is out there, but I am sure it is rare. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 Alot of what has been said here makes sense, and I initially thought the intrigue would be gone after a few dances. Sadly it got worse. And I cant help but wonder if she is deliberately avoiding me at her workplace because I did something awkward without realizing it. On one slow night every single (not even an exageration) other girl working there approached me except her. And you know you are at a strip club too often when the coat check girl knows you by name and wont even issue you a check ticket as she knows your coat. As far as this obsession becoming costly, if it werent for my inherent ability to turn down every other girl due to shyness, there would be no cost beyond the 5$ cover charges and a few beers. Never saw this pitfall of hobbying coming. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
daredevil8888 407 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 While I am not in the same situation, I believe the best option is to talk to her, and say what you need. It might hurt, but believe it will help. I also want to do this in my situation, but have a fear of the outcome good or bad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 ...Problem is she is on my mind 24 hours a day. All I can think about is when my next opportunity to go see her will come.... That one sentence of yours I quoted above tells me that something is not the way it should be. I admire fine art and may go to the gallery or museum on multiple occasions to admire it, but if it is something that can never truly be mine I have to be content to accept that and just admire it. Once I start to covet then it is clearly time to find something else to admire. Some would disagree with my opinion on this but then I have seen this very thing happen to someone else at a distance and he ended up as a train wreck in the end, a very sad story. I definitely care very much about all my SP friends (you can' help but not to) but the lines of demarcation are clear and must remain that way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cometman 35115 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 That one sentence of yours I quoted above tells me that something is not the way it should be. I admire fine art and may go to the gallery or museum on multiple occasions to admire it, but if it is something that can never truly be mine I have to be content to accept that and just admire it. Once I start to covet then it is clearly time to find something else to admire. Some would disagree with my opinion on this but then I have seen this very thing happen to someone else at a distance and he ended up as a train wreck in the end, a very sad story. I definitely care very much about all my SP friends (you can' help but not to) but the lines of demarcation are clear and must remain that way. Nah, not if you believe in true love and fairy tales. SP'ing is a unique business, but the SP's are also very real human beings with feelings. When hobbiests and escorts meet, they are usually on their best behavior and most presentable. It's probably not uncommon for feelings to somewhat emerge from these encounters. If they're mutual, good. If they're one-sided, not so good, but that's the same way it is outside of this hobby. I do agree that one should not leave an encounter thinking that they have just met "the one", but it's possible that it just happened. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 Alot of what has been said here makes sense, and I initially thought the intrigue would be gone after a few dances. Sadly it got worse. And I cant help but wonder if she is deliberately avoiding me at her workplace because I did something awkward without realizing it. On one slow night every single (not even an exageration) other girl working there approached me except her. And you know you are at a strip club too often when the coat check girl knows you by name and wont even issue you a check ticket as she knows your coat. Well then, it looks like you've already done the "try her for a few dances" thing, and you've gotten even worse into her. Try one of the other girls at the place, don't turn them all down. The fact that you're only looking for her probably does leave the impression of obsession. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 On one slow night every single (not even an exageration) other girl working there approached me except her. Maybe she is just as shy?.... Tear off the band-aid, man! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 The only way you will satisfy your curiosity is to come right out and ask. What's the worst that can happen? Her telling you that she isn't interested wont kill you. And then again you could be pleasantly surprised. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) The only way you will satisfy your curiosity is to come right out and ask. What's the worst that can happen? Her telling you that she isn't interested wont kill you. And then again you could be pleasantly surprised. I usually agree with everything you post Meg, really, I do :) But in this case, that risks they will spend some more time together and there will be more transference (in one direction). Sorry Meg, I say time to pull the rip cord in favor of a softer landing. Edited April 4, 2012 by backrubman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 I think alot of what I said has been misconstrued. I am not fantasizing about a pretty woman scenario. I've done enough of this to realize the impossibility of such a thing. Nor is she shy, I'd say she's currently the girl with the most traffic in gatineau's highest volume strip club. I'd be happy seeing her there on a regular basis and that would be that, no harm no foul no psychological damage. I think the obsession stems from what I would describe as her almost hot and cold demeanour; almost ignoring me in the one place where I want to see her and very friendly in the other. Watching her go for dances with every other guy there and very seldom myself wouldnt be so hard without the other aspect of it where she is so approachable. Its almost like a stripper playing hard to get; not the nost standard modus operandi in their line of work. The things she says in the other place probably arent helping either, like saying she's out every night after work because she doesnt have a boyfriend just sent shivers down my spine, but I could reason that away as very shrewd business sense IF she was milking for all I am worth. She isnt, and if I was being honest with myself I'd admit thats probably the key to the problem. Her behaviour doesnt match what I'velearned to identify affer dealing with girls in the industry since I turned 16 and first discovered this fascinating world 2 decades ago. The time she saw me affer work and asked what I thought of her outfits that night when I was certain she hadnt seen me in the 3 hours I sat there left me questionnibg myself for days! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 Yes I can see your point. I guess i just assume she would be honest one way or the other :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted April 4, 2012 Backrubman but so does John Prine! I preferred the original Prine version but this is all I could find on Youtube. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted April 5, 2012 I do appreciate everyone's input and I hope talking it out like this will eventually end up helping. For now though I am definitely staying away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ngtime 560 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 I have seen this a few times, and attachments to a stripper have been fruitless. There is no future here or with any strippers ( as is usually the case). Enjoy the times you had in the CR, and move on to another one. Sounds like she wants nothing further so she's moved on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juice 2105 Report post Posted April 26, 2012 Old guy, I am even older than you . . . my advice is, there is no harm in what you're doing and having some fun as long as you don't spend all of your money on this girl and start buying her a ton of things outside of the SC. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted April 26, 2012 Oh no worries there. Having been going to this club purely hoping for dances with this girl and another I mentionned in another thread and having so little luck actually getting their attention I've actually been saving money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DocMyles 616 Report post Posted April 30, 2012 What happens in the CR STAYS in the CR! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rick_falcon 911 Report post Posted April 30, 2012 It is a special situation but as others said, the best would be to have a nice talk with her and go from there. Obsession is not sane and you want to keep yourself in perspective. I can relate with your situation as I am somewhat in a similar situation. I met a stripper at a strip club and over time, we became well acquainted. We share our thoughts with each other, we relate our feelings to each other (like an old couple). Yet, we are not a couple; I don't even know her full name, as she never wanted to share her last name with me. We have an age difference of 12 years but I tell her I would love to meet her mother; and she starts laughing. But I am comfortable with her. We text each other and confide in each other. She is a friend but, in a way, more than a friend. As I said, even though I do miss here when I don't see her for a while, I have my life to live on my own. So, there is no obsession involved. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
