Guest **n****er Report post Posted June 29, 2012 for real? We are all ruled by our own experiences. My experiences have shown me real suffering. |She has a choice and refuses to help herself..Those that dont want to help themselves arent worthy of my help. It a cold way of looking at the world. And your way is much more appropriate. But I cant help it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simon_templar 161 Report post Posted June 29, 2012 I think that ultimately you are the only person who can decide if you were "foolish" to lend her the money. You refer to her now as a friend ....how many of your male friends would you lend money to for an evening of gambling if they were "tapped out" ? Here's a couple of thoughts for you to consider 1.There's 2 types of cons...the short game...and the long game. Make sure that she's not priming you for her "victory lap" 2. What exactly are your intentions in this friendship? Are their issues of co dependancy lurking here? You seem like a very intelligent guy....Be Careful!!! This from someone with too much experience (unfortunately!!!!) (from my mobile) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted June 29, 2012 Would I lend money to a guy friend while gambling? Sure, I have in the past and I am sure it will come up again. Do I think its a long con? There's a good chance, who knows. Why did I do it knowing all I know? Curiosity? Wanting to help out someone in a bad spot that I have come to care about? Who knows. Did I walk to the bank to transfer the money thinking "This may be the stupidest thing you've done in recent years?" Of course. At the end of the day, a grand is a small sum of money easily replaced. The lesson is learned before any of it plays out. For all I know she left town for the moment because she owes too much money. And what do I expect out of it? Nothing. Sure, she keeps alluding to more, and I keep downplaying it. The girl is out of my league, I know it, she knows it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted June 30, 2012 The girl is out of my league, I know it, she knows it. ...... ah I think you're out of her league and you have yet to recognize it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
survived70s 582 Report post Posted June 30, 2012 A few thoughts... You may want to ask her if she is interested in quitting gambling, getting out of the manic depressant cycles - ask her if she realizes that she will just "go back, Jack, do it again, wheels keep turning round and round" (Steely Dan). There are programs available. She does not need to hit rock bottom. Some people are lucky enough to have friends/family to help them clean up their act. if you are a kind of high roller kind of guy, ask/invite yourself with her, with the understanding of how the night will end with you and your friend together. 1,000 is what some escorts will charge for a night on the town. The gambling concillors advise against giving gamblers money, understandably so. If you want to step up to help yiou could agree to do stuff like buy her groceries, pay rent, negotiate bank and credit card issues, but not bankroll her gambling unless you have 10k and want to have a "wild ride" - but that is not for me - she could give you the time of your life, but, in the long term, it is very depressing... been there done that and burned the Tshirt! My 2 cents if you are an old guy (like me), make an offer and have a really really good time - you are in control and she may really have feelings (or not). Realize that it is just a short term thing and enjoy it for that! I would not let her turn me into her bank (without benifits)... Cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted July 17, 2012 Or maybe the right move was just to wait until she returned the money, which she has with 0 mention of it by me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The General 11309 Report post Posted July 17, 2012 Glad to see that she did that, clearly she has some good integrity, and perhaps sorted things out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted July 17, 2012 and perhaps sorted things out. Doubtful considering I watched her gamble away more money than most people make in 2 months the next night. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted July 28, 2012 Well, gave in and took the plunge. Trying to date a stripper is definitely not for the faint of heart. Keep trying to keep my safe distance from it all, but damn is it hard. Each time I tell myself I'll stay away for a few days, there she is flirting by text or calling at 3am just to catch up or discuss some tv shows or tell me the latest gossip from the club. I know its a horrible idea but I'm really falling for this girl. No more mention of borrowing money, never any mention of getting her things. Heck, when I go see her at the club she cuts me off at reasonable amounts and won't let me pay for all the dances. She's even mentionning things in the distant future like dance partues in Montreal we should go to next year... Never saw all this coming when I made the first post in this thread, and I'm starting to think I'm not mentally equipped for this. On the other hand, the sheer look of envy from other guys when I see her outside the club almost makes it worthwhile, and she actually is a fantastic girl. Didnt think I'd ever see this particular story become a "victim of my own success" story. Go figure. Really not sure what to do next. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rickkkm 525 Report post Posted July 28, 2012 take the hint; she now finds your obsession (your word) uncomfortable; take a break at the very least!!!! Walk away would be my best advice to you before it gets really bad....not good vibes at all!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rickkkm 525 Report post Posted July 28, 2012 omg....you have taken the plunge.....now what?? It's like catching a tiger, it's simple, you hide behind a tree and jump on it when it walks by....BUT HOW DO YOU LET IT GO???? You have been given a lot of good advice on here.....mine is the same "RUN FORREST RUN".... walk away!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
survived70s 582 Report post Posted July 29, 2012 Not so sure that I agree with all of the advice... I too dated a dancer (well, more than one) and spent lots of time with her, her family, travelled together, kinda played house at a friend's condo on the weekends... oh yeah, I was and am still married...it was ok... All that I can say is enjoy the ride while it lasts and keep telling yourself and her that you are enjoying it and it does not bother you whenever it comes to an end... You may find that other dancers may want to fool around with you... and she probably doesn't want you with other dancers at the club... you have to try to not be a man whore... However, what saved me was my family taking priority over my affairs. It gave me a mental perspective to separate the two worlds. If you do not have other ties that rind you it may be trouble... What to do next? Invite her on a holiday (to a place that does not have a casino). Ask her if she wants to quit gambling and save her money... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theoldguy 507 Report post Posted July 29, 2012 She definitely doesnt mind that I go for dances with the other girls. Its a standing joke that she pimps me out to her friends. Heck, she's even suggested an outing to the hilltop where she would like to go in the booth and watch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
