For new or less new guys...Expectations

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

i think that many of the ladies have reviews everywhere where you can have an idea what is available..Demanding to be assure before a meeting(anyway for me)is never really taken positive especially when i prefer to not discuss sexual activities via email,pm,phone before an encounter.

 

For many ladies if you need to have the guarantee it is a turn off and also that you dismiss her valuable reputation.Not to say may offend her too..And remember also that building higher expectation base on a wider menu or countless of reviews usually bring to disapointement..It is like this...The movie is never as good as the book you read.

 

Coming in a meeting with open mind and no high expectations can reflect on personality(i am someone that feed myself a lot of the energy of others) and bring a more than expected fabulous meeting.

 

VJ

[roamingguy 300292]

I know when meeting a lady for the first time I am optimistic that it will be a good, or great encounter. And my initial email and follow up email(s) are more telling a bit about myself, and providing verification information, plus getting a time/date for an encounter

As for the encounter itself, I personally like it to unfold naturally, no scripts.

And the sexual side of the encounter is but a part of the date, I enjoy the, initial meeting, conversation over drinks, all aspects of the encounter. This social side of the encounter is important, I like to schedule dates of two to three hours,...believe me, I don't have that much stamina LOL The ladies I remember (and there are a few) and have fond memories of the encounter, well it was more we clicked, and had good chemistry that made the encounters memorable. In short they are ladies I like, and respect

A quick rambling, hope it makes sense

RG

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

This is a great topic, VJ. And as always, I appreciate roamingguy's contribution.

 

I would only add that, while there are no guarantees other than that I will be warm, friendly and welcoming, I don't mind being asked in advance if I would be open to considering something when we meet if the circumstances are right for me. I'm open to this because, in my experience, some men are interested in something very specific that they haven't been able to find elsewhere. My response is generally to the effect that I'd like to have an initial meeting without expectations but, if we're in sync, that thing is something I enjoy and would be happy to consider on a future date.

 

I learn a lot about prospective clients by the response I receive to this reply. Most understand immediately and agree to take things more slowly. I believe this is not only because they're good guys, but also because everyone is a bit nervous the first time they meet someone new.

 

I have been accused a few times of trying to secure guaranteed future meetings so that I can make more money. That's not true; I felt insulted by the accusation. Compatibility is what matters most to me.

 

Like VictoriaJolie, I don't like to engage in detailed discussions of activities, but I don't object to simple, polite inquiries about what may be possible eventually.

[Grizzly Slushie 1487]

This has crossed my mind when I scheduled with an Elite Companion, if asking for certain "refreshments" will be available. But she humbly acknowledge that I was curious about her and her abilities. That was all I required of her, I do always have butterflies in my stomach when I come to the door or see an SP waiting for me at a table. Once I sit down or see her eyes, I am comfortable. She was looking forward to me and I her.

 

Learned about 3 years ago to not expect anything, that way when something incredible or desirable occurs, it fills me with "greatness" {lack of a more prominent word that cannot come into my head at the moment}. There are just a few minor things that I prefer, anything else can happen. Be the same if I were to be in a committed relationship, there are certain things that I prefer. If she does not provide them, I will be with her. That is why I ask a few questions if I could not locate my answers on a SP's profile, reviews or website {if she has one}.

 

When VictoriaJolie said "The movie is never as good as the book you read." which is very true, but also at the same time reviews on both the movie and the book can be conflicting. Going to the source sometimes is the best solution.

 

For me, I just have 4 requests, they are sexual in nature, if they are accepted or after doing my research on a SP that provides them, then I will schedule with the SP and will be anticipating the reception. If not, then I say thank you and find one that does fit my desires, just move on. As with any services, there are some that just fill your needs, for me.....my cupidity just drives me.

 

But that is my fantasy, the END result, before that, I need her personality, a conversation. If a SP would like me back as a client, she has to enable me to yearn for her after our encounter. So yes, Clients sometimes just need to wait out their expectations until they meet with a SP. At the same time, the SP has to raise our interest that you are willing to let us know you so we become regulars.

 

It is a sad thing to hear about Samantha who had an accusation about her securing arrangements just to make money. There is one that contacts me, outside of Cerbnation, to schedule an encounter so she can make money. But even if one does, I will not publicly do that to her. Respecting the rules here is what I am doing my best on, and I know the SP does it for her own reasons. So, Samantha, sorry to hear that has happened to you. From your reputation on CERB, you are an outstanding Lady.

[cometman 35115]

If I want to agonize over a menu, I'll go to MacDonalds. If I want to meet a special lady, I'll watch her posts here for awhile and then I'll talk to her in some manner. It really doesn't take too long for me to decide whether or not we'll click. I'm pretty easy going and low maintenance and I seem to gravitate towards those who have a sense of humor and appear to have a genuine interest in seeing me as a person in addition to being a client. I don't see my friends as escorts, really. I think of them more as friends with benefits. Every lady is different, but if I treat them as a lady, they'll treat me as a friend. The first hug and smile are the icebreakers....and then it's all good.

[backrubman 64800]

I do always have butterflies in my stomach when I come to the door or see an SP waiting for me at a table.

 

Yeah, that's kind of exactly what I was trying to say. Do lunch (and compensate her for her time) but then if and when you do meet more privately, no butterflies. It's just not fun if it isn't fun (with butterflies = no fun) so why not get to know her first. Always works for me :) YMMV but after a luncheon date it's more like meeting an old friend to catch up. Of course I never worry about the "menu" then, it is what it is.

[mrrnice2 157005]

Agreed, expectations is a very good topic and may well bring a variety of responses. I know why I joined CERB and I know why I stay, and these reasons have evolved over time.

 

I can only comment on this topic from my own perspective - a perspective which I am confident is similar to that of some men and perhaps quite different from many others.

 

I have had a couple of meetings with women in very specific circumstances where my wishes and desires to explore a particular area were clearly specified, but exactly how those wishes were to be met was never scripted out in detail. Those were very intense and erotic encounters.

 

However, many of and perhaps the majority of my dates have been arranged to be of longer duration. This is to allow for social time, social interaction and for each of us to determine if in fact anything further happening in the privacy of a room would be something that would enhance or perfectly conclude the encounter, for both of us.

 

In most cases I have said directly in prior communication that my expectations are not of any specific sexual nature and that following dinner or drinks or whatever introductory time we have that if either of us is not comfortable with continuing then that would be not only fine, but would be for the best. I could not think of a worse case than meeting someone and for whatever reason know that one of us was not really interested but yet continue on to intimate activity.

 

I know that I could walk away, politely, and with apologies, but knowing that it was the right decision. I have also trusted that women would do the same - and trust helps a great deal in giving her the ability to make that choice without fear of recrimination or anger. To this point this has never happened and if I continue to do my research and read their work online and carry on with them whatever prior communication that they want, then I really don't expect that it ever will.

 

I have had more than one amazing encounter that went no further than incredible conversation and I have never left feeling badly or that I had been cheated out of anything. I respect a great deal women who are able to read situations and encounters as they evolve.

 

On a humorous note I have wondered however how many guys would think that MN2 must be completely nuts to have had an 'opportunity' with an amazing woman, and then passed up on that opportunity.

 

My expectation VJ is that my donation is for time spent, but indeed with an underlying unstated meaning as well, a meaning that we all know. I take the 'donation is for time spent', literally.

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

thanks for agreeing it is a good topic i honestly turn to a guy friend and ask him what i should do because i have been crying the last few days..People come to me with so high demand..They are disapointed or are mad when i tell that their approach cool me off...They see one girl happy with the fact she is gfe and give one shot and i am here and they almost want me to prove why they should see me when i do double...it is an insult..not only they don't treat me as human beein but are mad that i notice it

[Grizzly Slushie 1487]

What did this guy do to upset you?? That is harsh and not manly at all. An Arsehole I am most times, but I learned in my youth to not make a Lass cry by any means.

 

You practically do not have to do anything to prove to anyone. Your reputation, pictures, posts and presence are just enough to prove to us that WE have a chance to know you. It is interesting that, as a Client, he needs to be proved that you will do everything for him. I know sometimes we get selfish with our fantasies and desires but ha ha ha ha any SP does not have to prove her "worth". You {and this is to all SP's} are all worth it and desireable. Whoever that scum did is not what you should have to experience.

 

I know in my earlier post the SP's should keep us interested, but that is when we meet and base on their personality. For any relationship, friend, companion or business, you stay as yourself and those that adore you for you, well then you are both keepers.

 

It pains me to hear that someone is not treated as a human being, just pains me. Uncalled for.

[Secrets of Victoria 7208]

Whoever did that to make you feel that way is a total jackass!

There is NO deserving of that for any means.

 

We should not have to prove anything to anyone, or be compared to anyone.

 

We don't fit into any mold, but that guy didn't have the sense to get that.

 

You are a lady in every sense of the word, keep that in mind.

 

Good thoughts and wishes going out to you, keep smiling, your worth it!

thanks for agreeing it is a good topic i honestly turn to a guy friend and ask him what i should do because i have been crying the last few days..People come to me with so high demand..They are disapointed or are mad when i tell that their approach cool me off...They see one girl happy with the fact she is gfe and give one shot and i am here and they almost want me to prove why they should see me when i do double...it is an insult..not only they don't treat me as human beein but are mad that i notice it

[cat 262460]

Miss Victoria,

You of all people have nothing to prove! You are extraordinary in your very being and anyone who questions that is, without a doubt, unworthy of you in any capacity.

I agree with backrubman that the art of seduction is indeed forgotten and sorely missed. It is why my minimum visit is 2 hours. The first part is a "get to know you" and if we don't click, my guest leaves with his $, my best wishes and recommendations of someone more to his liking. I don't want to play if it isn't "right" for both of us. I can always tell if he's not into me and I certainly know when the chemistry is wrong. No amount of $ makes that situation worthwhile.

cat

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

For those that wonder it is no one person but many in the same times.

 

I agree with Cat that chemistry is important and i am personally i am someone that the i often feed my energy by the energy of others and it result either a more dynamic encounter or a more passionate one or still pleasant but more quiet one

[LeeRichards 177238]

For those that wonder it is no one person but many in the same times.

 

I agree with Cat that chemistry is important and i am personally i am someone that the i often feed my energy by the energy of others and it result either a more dynamic encounter or a more passionate one or still pleasant but more quiet one

 

Well I for one have met you VJ....and I found you to be an amazing lady to spend time with. Vibrant, fun, funny and easy to talk to. As a fella that does not set high expectations but justs lets things happen naturally....the chemistry was there and I had an oh sooo wonderful time with you in every way. You Rock Vic !!

[CristyCurves 169032]

First may I say Victoria,you are imo,the ideal example of a high class sp.Your web site,your portfolio,image,accent,ect.If I were to better,I would be you!So for any man to have your company I would say he should be honored,very lucky,to expect a menu from someone such as yourself would be akin to expecting a bently to having faux leather.

There are as many different types of hobbyists as there are sp's,many hobbyists will expect alot of sp's to offer the same as oneanother ,so when one doesn't they will get offended,or simply move on,it is not fair as we all are different,I for one do discuss some of my activities,but have gone further with some than others because the chemistry was different ,some make sparks fly others don't.More men should realize it's not all about "price".(I have found some hobbyists won't even consider an sp unless she charges150/hourly or less for gfe,I found that shocking!),menus,it is alot about chemistry,or we would all be great actresses,and I for one am not good at being something other than"me".The only way a man will know if we are for him is to experience us as a whole,despite what we will or will not do.So don't despair this has happened to alot of us,the good ones keep us in the business and the others,well they are simply not good enough for you anyway.Stay true to you,as you shine!

[April Dawn 12207]

I have to agree with Cristy, you really are what I think of when I imagine an elite SP. Its spring, men come out of the woodworks and if you cant please everyone, who cares? I take everything potential clients, and first time clients say with a grain of salt. I am also getting rather particular about my screening process so that helps alot. At the end of the day remember that you are a ridiculous gorgeous and well reviewed lady and these guys are losers.

Cheer up beautiful

Posted via Mobile Device

[newboy 4919]

Victoria...

 

Do not dispare honey, there are alot of good guys out there as you know.

 

Try to focus your thoughts on the good ones, not the bad.

 

Persons who make others feel bad will get their just rewards in the end.

 

Keep your pretty face smiling... :-)

 

PS: I must admit that I shed a tear when I read that somethings had happened to you to make you feel bad, it is just not right...

 

NB

[futileresistenz 28253]

Victoria,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had to endure these kind of situations that were less than pleasant. A client that tries to put pressure on an SP to perform according to his high expectations and thus doesn't honour her limits and feelings, --I would presume--, is quickly relegated to the do-not-see list. It saddens me to know that this type of thing goes on, although at some level I understand it.

 

I haven't met you yet, but I am certain if I had, I would have found you to be exactly the classy, intelligent, witty, sexy, friendly, warmhearted and engaging lady that your ads, recos, photos, and posts suggest. You would do best to forget those bad experiences and find comfort with those that will happily support you and respect you for all the wonderful things that you are.

 

As it is getting late, I will return again with some more (hopefully) well-reasoned ;) comments.

 

A great thread!

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

In my own opinion it is up to the hobbyist to research his choice of SP and then determine if there i s a match for what he or she are looking for. Not all hobbyists will be comfortable with some SPs who offer some services that may be uncompatible with what they are looking for and vice versa.

[cat 262460]

The problem comes tho when a man is doing his "research" by reading reviews etc. It's important to remember that providers are not blow up dolls, just because someone else got A,B and C doesn't mean it's going to be on the menu for you. The problem is when guys ask for services upfront without knowing us. Having an anal probe the size of my forearm on the first visit isn't happening but you would be amazed at how many do ask or worse yet just try without asking during the first visit. They read reviews without knowing the history of the SP and the client; assuming she's going to be exactly like that with them. Always remember these are real people and some reviews aren't so real situations...

cat

[roamingguy 300292]

The problem comes tho when a man is doing his "research" by reading reviews etc. It's important to remember that providers are not blow up dolls, just because someone else got A,B and C doesn't mean it's going to be on the menu for you. The problem is when guys ask for services upfront without knowing us. Having an anal probe the size of my forearm on the first visit isn't happening but you would be amazed at how many do ask or worse yet just try without asking during the first visit. They read reviews without knowing the history of the SP and the client; assuming she's going to be exactly like that with them. Always remember these are real people and some reviews aren't so real situations...

cat

 

Something else about some, and I emphasize some reviews. They seem more written by a guy wanting to brag to other guys...sort of a review board version of locker room talk. I still prefer to go primarily with board postings by the lady, as well as her website, and any emails. To me the lady I would like to see (based on posts/website) is a better person to communicate with via email and find out if we will click, than reading reviews from people I don't know. The only time recommendations really matter to me are when they come from people who's opinions I know, trust and respect...and in this lifestyle that is from other ladies. When they tell me a certain lady I would like, that reinforces my interest in meeting her

As for the encounter itself, letting it unfold naturally is to me better than have a script and expectations in mind...after all, this is your first date. And if you both click, and see each other regularly, each encounter still unfolds naturally, but it is pleasantly surprising how these natural unfolding encounters evolve with repeat visits

A early morning rambling

RG

[backrubman 64800]

Something else about some, and I emphasize some reviews. They seem more written by a guy wanting to brag to other guys...sort of a review board version of locker room talk...

 

You make an excellent point RG (as usual). In fact it has been my experience that I learn much more from a more tastefully written review than I do from one that is more explicit.

 

I really don't like writing reviews as the find the detail of the initial questions too much like a menu, and if you are only adding a review (to an existing review thread) it's almost like you are endorsing the menu at the start of the review thread. If not for these "explicit" questions, I would no doubt write more reviews.

 

Ideally I like to get to know someone over lunch (when practical) and let them get to know me, by no means a job interview, just a nice fun lunch. Then I wait for a thank you from the lady for the nice lunch and her to express interest in seeing more of me.

[Athos 108589]

RG, I couldn't agree more that many boards are a bit like the virtual equivalent of the locker room. Reading reviews it sometimes sounds like many of the people writing missed their calling and should (if the reviews are true) be in the porn biz and (if they aren't true) get a job writing for penthouse forum.

 

I remember speaking to one of my favorite SPs about a recent review. She agreed that it was a pretty hot review, and wished she'd been there for it, cause it didn't bear any resemblance to the session she remembered.

 

Porthos

[fortunateone 156618]

RG, I couldn't agree more that many boards are a bit like the virtual equivalent of the locker room. Reading reviews it sometimes sounds like many of the people writing missed their calling and should (if the reviews are true) be in the porn biz and (if they aren't true) get a job writing for penthouse forum.

 

I know that when asked why they do this, or to justify why they do these sorts of reviews, one at least honestly said it was because he wants to 'relive' the moments. Actually I think I've read that a couple of times. And same two guys have to, again, justify their reviews, as others who try to see the same sps have actually walked away without staying, the reality was so far removed from the tale they had spun.

 

I once asked one, if you bring a bag of stuff, and basically recreate the exact same repetitive routine with each new sp, how is that a good thing for you, for her, for anyone? She is another sp who is a good sport about having to try to do all those things, just as the next 25 he sees, all within 45 minutes and a cuddle at the end (or bad review will come), rather than simply allow yourself to be taken on a journey by this new sp her way, with her strengths and ideas. Try meeting each one as an individual and not a trained seal or blow up doll, and maybe start getting more out of these experiences worth sharing.

 

 

I remember speaking to one of my favorite SPs about a recent review. She agreed that it was a pretty hot review, and wished she'd been there for it, cause it didn't bear any resemblance to the session she remembered.

 

Porthos

 

 

I have heard this comment a few times, actually. The review comes out so incredibly different from reality. And the best an sp can hope for is quietly pm the guy and say, "um, I don't do bbbjs, you didn't get one, so maybe you can edit that part." And that is just one small thing. lol

[backrubman 64800]

I have heard this comment a few times, actually. The review comes out so incredibly different from reality. And the best an sp can hope for is quietly pm the guy and say, "um, I don't do bbbjs, you didn't get one, so maybe you can edit that part." And that is just one small thing. lol

 

I couldn't agree more with that you say fortunateone. I felt "compelled" to write a review. It was accurate and from the heart without exaggeration based on a phenomenal experience and I could tell it wasn't going to just be my specific experience as this was one wonderful lady in so many ways. My goal was to let people know what a wonderful person I had been fortunate enough to meet to help them decide if they were considering her also.

 

Of course I did what I think only polite: I sent the review to the lady first and asked her it was okay to post it and any changes she wanted made to it would be seriously considered and the review wouldn't be posted at all if she did want it to be. She wrote back and said don't change a thing, but I wouldn't post a review at all without permission, approval and even agreement with the contents from the lady. That's not to say I'm going to let her write it or suggest changes to the point of making it inaccurate, but I think it is nice to make sure she doesn't mind a review and agrees with it's contents before it's even posted.

[Guest]

The guys have to remember that ymmv is a factor. It's a known fact that your going to connect more with certain people. I talk about services through pms or emails. However I do not talk about anything over the phone and I still get clients trying to ask me stuff over the phone. Even after I clearly state that I do not talk about services and details over the phone.

 

Vj please do not take this personally. There are many clients out there that will treat you like a lady and respect you. I have this happen to me too about different topics that I will not get into at this time.

 

Clients who are interested about meeting you should keep in mind that they are dealing with you and not so and so. Every girl runs their business differently, for the way they feel comfortable. You should not be condemned because you have a different layout than someone else.

 

Please guys remember respect. When you respect a lady they feel more comfortable and you may have a better time with them.

 

I hope this helps vj

XoXo