Athos 108589 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 Unfortunately this seems the curse of having a profile and a good reputation. The only way to deal with it would seem to be at the ladies end of things, as you suggest. Either, the lady being booked has to double check with the CERB member through their CERB handle (no handle, no booking), or the person being asked to provide the reference needs to inquire of the CERB member if they are, in fact, planning to see the lady. . It seems to me that the primary onus should be on the lady being booked, after all it is her screening process. I prefer to do much of my communication through CERB, which alleviates some issues of certainty when I'm booking. But it doesn't prevent someone unscrupulous from trying to take advantage. Porthos 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 Great post, backrubman. I'm especially sensitive to this because of recent experiences of my own. One great advantage of this board is that I have good friends on here who alert me to situations I may not know about, like my reviews and identity beng "borrowed" on another board, or someone impersonating me trying to set up appointments with women. We have to watch out for one another. Beyond that, screening is important. As I said on another thread, if you're an sp contacted by phone, text, or e-mail by someone claiming to be a cerb member, it's a good policy to check by pm with that member. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=79987 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whatsup 11893 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 Initial contact can be in a few forms but I prefer that at least a confirmation is done via a PM. This Way the provider will know it is me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CristyCurves 169032 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 Great post, backrubman. I'm especially sensitive to this because of recent experiences of my own. One great advantage of this board is that I have good friends on here who alert me to situations I may not know about, like my reviews and identity beng "borrowed" on another board, or someone impersonating me trying to set up appointments with women. We have to watch out for one another. Beyond that, screening is important. As I said on another thread, if you're an sp contacted by phone, text, or e-mail by someone claiming to be a cerb member, it's a good policy to check by pm with that member. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=79987 Yes,I have gotten a few emails,to my personal email address,with a person or persons pretending to be different cerb men wanting appts,so it happens,what can we do other than ignore the losers,but what bothers me is that it has to be a cerb memeber as they know the mens cerb handles! On another note unless I have seen a gentleman more than once,and since I don't keep any records of my clients, for me to give a reference would be pointless as my memory is so short,I know this is doing myself and some good clients an injustice,but what would make it much easier would be for more men to leave recos then it would be recorded for any future references,but more than not, like to keep visits private. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 I feel a bit silly to ask, but what are the motives behind people using other's Handel to get appt? Am I missing something? I am sort of like CC on this one too, I was asked once for a reference, but I truly could not remember this particular Gent.. I always remember if it was a great session or an awful one, I am also terrible with names, but I always seem to remember the handel lol...I do not keep records of every client, but then again, most of my clients are repeat, so if you are someone I met maybe 4 months ago, only seen you one time and we did not keep in touch then I more than likely wont remember. When booking, Yes I always look into your profile here. When someone emails me I ask there handel, no handel, no booking. Then I ask them to sign my guest book or PM to assure me they are that handle. Then another confirmation with a phone call. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted April 6, 2012 ... what bothers me is that it has to be a cerb memeber as they know the mens cerb handles!.... Most Cerb forums are public. Anyone at all can read the public forums and see the posts and handles of Cerb members. You don't have to be a Cerb member to know that stuff. On the general topic - the onus is ultimately on the provider to keep herself safe. It's up to the provider to verify the accuracy of any claims made by a potential client as part of her screening process. In the case of a Cerb handle, that can only be verified through Cerb itself (the PM system, for example). If the provider chooses not to verify claims, nothing anyone else can do (no matter how much goodwill they have) will properly compensate for that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 I feel a bit silly to ask, but what are the motives behind people using other's Handel to get appt? Am I missing something? My best guess is that they plan to be an obnoxious no-show (best case scenario as distasteful as that is), next best case is they can't provide a reference and the lady requires one, worst case is if they did provide a real reference and it was checked it would be a very bad one and the lady would be warned to stay far far away. When booking, Yes I always look into your profile here. When someone emails me I ask there handel, no handel, no booking. Then I ask them to sign my guest book or PM to assure me they are that handle. Then another confirmation with a phone call. Good girl! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 My best guess is that they plan to be an obnoxious no-show (best case scenario as distasteful as that is), next best case is they can't provide a reference and the lady requires one, worst case is if they did provide a real reference and it was checked it would be a very bad one and the lady would be warned to stay far far away. Good girl! Thanks, I never considered that angle!! I understand now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest N***he**Ont**y Report post Posted April 6, 2012 PM ing is the best way to identify the OP in my opinion.No response that is positive then you know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 My best guess is that they plan to be an obnoxious no-show (best case scenario as distasteful as that is), next best case is they can't provide a reference and the lady requires one, worst case is if they did provide a real reference and it was checked it would be a very bad one and the lady would be warned to stay far far away. ! Yes, I think these are the likely reasons. I suspect there is also the possibility of someone being very malicious and seeking to damage the CERB members reputation by no-showing or being a bad client. If someone has a reputation as a bad client, the only way to get an appointment might be to impersonate people. We've heard of stories of clients that a lady decides not to see after initial contact .... Rude e-mail, or just something sets her instincts off. We've also heard how those individuals frequently don't give up, but try again. Impersonation might be one of those strategies. I agree, the thought of someone impersonating me, or anyone on the board, is supremely distasteful and creepy! Porthos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 It's pretty simple for me. When someone emails or texts me claiming to be a certain cerb member, I ask them to drop me a pm to verify it's them. If they don't want to, then I know something's up. An example that comes to mind for me was when I hosted the Christmas social, all communication was done via the pm system, not by email. Cerb members had to pm me to verify who they were and only those who paid (gents) or were invited guests (ladies) were given the location. The evening of the party, I had people texting me last minute to ask if there was any spots left to attend, insisting they were so and so from CERB. Unfortunately I had to remind them they had over 2 months to pm me and since I had no way of verifying who they were last minute, I could not allow them to come. End of story. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 Hey Backrubman .... I can well understand why you are so upset. I'd be beside myself. It's interesting, that in a virtual community, where we live behind handles and avatars, that our reputation and good name is still so very important. I think that also speaks to how CERB is a community of hobbyists and providers, rather than a review board. I suspect you are quite right that no one is trying to deliberately cause you harm, but rather they are trying to trade on your good name! It still is extremely troubling, and makes me worry for the ladies as well. Porthos 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 The following suggestion might not solve all problems but it might help to reduce the potential for deceitful games... - Contact the lady you are planning to use as a reference and let her know that she can expect to be contacted by another lady for a reference. Most of my gentlemen proceed this way so when I receive an email from another companion for a reference it is something I am already aware of. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 The following suggestion might not solve all problems but it might help to reduce the potential for deceitful games... - Contact the lady you are planning to use as a reference and let her know that she can expect to be contacted by another lady for a reference. Most of my gentlemen proceed this way so when I receive an email from another companion for a reference it is something I am already aware of. That's an excellent suggestion. In the past I've hesitated to do that, simply because I don't want to be causing too much inbox clutter. But this thread is making me think it would be to everyone's benefit. Porthos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secrets of Victoria 7208 Report post Posted April 6, 2012 I can't believe what I read in this post! We all have a screening process in line, and I, for one, use it. If someone approaches me through means other than pm on cerb and uses a lady as a reference, not only am I going to inquire with the lady, but also with the person with whom I believe to be communicating with. I had someone give me two references of ladies, only to find out that neither one have ever provided services for that particular person. Needless to say, that person does not get to see me, as I will not receive anyone that tries to pull that. Checking is a great resource. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 Fortunately this hasn't happened to me yet but it's only a matter of time. Great advice backrubman. One can never be too safe. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123367 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 If someone from Cerb emails me for an appointment i suggest they also pm me so I know it's really them...i offer them a discount when they do this. The gentlemen should ask the ladies if they mind if they give their name as a reference. Most ladies don't mind doing this. Gentlemen no need to be afraid of the info shared we are just looking for an "ok he's cool". nothing more. This alleviates much headaches. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 Wow. I was vaguely aware that this kind of thing happened, but... it seems more prevalent than I thought. I must admit, if I need a reference then I'll always ask the lady who'll need to provide it in advance, and tell her who to expect the request from... I'd have thought that was just common courtesy! Although I usually do this by email, so unless ladies hang on to addresses this still doesn't prove it's me... Also, a request: ladies, if you catch this kind of crap, please could you tell us guys that someone's impersonating us (if you don't already)? I don't suppose there's much we can do about it, but it's good to know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 I know when I book an encounter with a lady I haven't met before, and requires verification, I provide personal information (name, phone, email, board handle) via email. I then pm the lady to verify it was me indeed who emailed her and it confirms my board handle. But even with ladies who have no such verification requirements, I still follow up email with a pm to confirm board handle If she requires a reference, I let her know I will provide one, but I wish to contact the lady I'm using as a reference first. If she is ok with providing me a reference (and she knows the lady I am planning on seeing) then I provide her name and contact information to the lady I am planning on seeing It is up to the lady to check all verification information provided, but from my end I do what I can to be as open and above board And it is creepy, someone trying to impersonate you. If guys like that spent as much effort being a gentleman and developing a positive reputation for themselves, instead of being impersonators, hiding behind someone else's earned positive reputation, we wouldn't even need this thread. Hopefully it hasn't happened to me, but I now do wonder if it has A rambling RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royalfun 55449 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 It's pretty simple for me. When someone emails or texts me claiming to be a certain cerb member, I ask them to drop me a pm to verify it's them. . Actually, I always send a pm to confirm that it's really me that wants an appointment. I prefer to contribute myself to he screening process by being proactive and to protect my identity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 Lately all my first time booking has been done through PM here on cerb...but then I rarely see anyone who isn't a member. I'll then provide my number via PM and move on to texting the day of....(if they specify in their add that texting is ok). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted April 7, 2012 I agreed with Gabriella. Really the best defense against this is for the client to contact the sp being given as a reference to expect to be contacted by sp-2 soon. I feel strongly that clients need to give their permission to sp-1 before she can just pass on anything about the client. Sure the majority of the time everything is on the up and up. Maybe the two sps know each other, and consider the information in safe hands. But what if it is the case of some unknown supposedly new sp doing the contacting, the client has not verified he is seeking a reference from sp-2, and sp-2 goes ahead and confirms having met him. And what if this new sp is not an sp, but an SO or some other person in his life out to make trouble. Now, unbeknownst to him, sp-2 has just confirmed he has seen her, and recently, and frequently possibly. So really, if sp-1 needs a reference, as a client please advise the sp you are using as a reference the full details of who will be contacting her. And if sps don't get this heads up, then please contact your client to ask if he is requesting a reference. And please please please, for the safety of everyone but only if you plan to be helpful to fellow sps and be open to the idea of giving references, start keeping good records somewhere or somehow. Any other business person would do this, it helps you remember who you have seen, it helps you accomodate to their needs when you see them again, it also prevents the total time wasters from wasting your time over and over again. It just makes sense. Not doing that, not remembering info about people you see, or have seen you, that just might backfire on you one day. Not keeping some information about the people who come to see you or you go to see and god forbid something goes wrong, how exactly is someone going to be able to investigate anything about it. It is ok to say publically that you don't, god knows there is a lot of paranoia out there about someone even getting a fake phone #, but this is a lot bigger than one nervous nelly. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Maybe I'm getting paranoid reading this thread (although sometimes parania is good policy when someone is out to get you LOL) but at least for me, if someone contacts you using my handle feel free to pm me to confirm, and also ask them my real name (I'm a advocate of verification, so any lady I contact for an encounter gets my real name, board handle, phone and email, even if not asked for) Don't know if that helps at all, but I don't bite, feel free to contact me if my handle is used. It could help protect you, and me RG Edited April 8, 2012 by r__m__g_uy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
