research.fish40 100 Report post Posted April 10, 2012 I have read the DNR list and wondered if it is ok to ask members for a PM of someone or someplace on the DNR list? Someone please advise me and thank you in advance for the education. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 10, 2012 I have read the DNR list and wondered if it is ok to ask members for a PM of someone or someplace on the DNR list? Someone please advise me and thank you in advance for the education. By "strict" interpretation of the rules: "...this includes not talking about them anywhere on the board..." So "anywhere" means PMs also (even if it that wasn't the intention). As they don't want to participate here and therefore don't purchase advertising like so many others do, I would have to guess that CERB shouldn't be used in any way as a vehicle to send them business or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carrie Moon 68826 Report post Posted April 10, 2012 I think we need clarification.. because it was my understanding 'on the board' meant in the open... pms are private and okay to discuss whatever you like. BUT the tricky thing might be... asking on the board for a pm about 'blankity blank' provider.. you can't mention them.. how do you know who has seen them? hmm.. perplexing dilemma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maverick 2873 Report post Posted April 10, 2012 This is probably a stupid question but where can I find the DNR list? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 10, 2012 This is probably a stupid question but where can I find the DNR list? Right here: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/announcement.php?f=207&a=10 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The General 11309 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 Good question about who to ask. I just consider "DNR" to equal "DNV". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuxeMulvari 65764 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 I could see why a lady wouldn't want reviews. I myself am open to them, but sometimes they can be pretty graphic, and a lady might not want her personal business all over the internet (where it can be viewed forever) along with pictures of her face. Some potential clients might read the review and assume that she will do everything with him that he read, and alot ladies are ymmv, so that can be frustrating when things are expected that were not clarified beforehand, and she may not be comfortable providing to someone new and unestablished to her. Gentlemen always ask for discretion, I think we should be allowed that same courtesy if we so choose. When you review me, everyone now knows we've seen each other. As some gentlemen do, some ladies also prefer to keep who their bedroom partners are between them and the bedroom partners. As i have stated before on the "lack of reccos" thread, many gentleman choose not to review for their own reasons, I have clients I have been seeing for 2 yrs who have never reviewed me, but they keep coming back, which indicates they enjoy what i provide very much. It is your choice as a client whether to review or not. So on that note, it should be ladies choice whether or not she want to be reviewed. If it is optional to give reviews, than it should be equally as optional to accept or refuse them. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whiteman 14028 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 I think we need clarification.. because it was my understanding 'on the board' meant in the open... pms are private and okay to discuss whatever you like. BUT the tricky thing might be... asking on the board for a pm about 'blankity blank' provider.. you can't mention them.. how do you know who has seen them? hmm.. perplexing dilemma I'm sure they don't worry about what goes on in private messages too much. But in order to ask about a girl on the DNR list, you must first post a message on the public board asking for PM's to be sent to you. That part of it would be public and therefore against the rules. Without being able to ask the question in the first place, you would need to just randomly cold-call somebody and ask them if they've ever seen this person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carrie Moon 68826 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 yes..but (and I may be mistaken) I think you can ask for pm's on a specific DNR provider so long as the discussion is not in the open. Mod can clarify. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) Good question about who to ask. I just consider "DNR" to equal "DNV". While I might be inclined to agree with you if I didn't "know" better, I can attest that you are wrong (unintentionally I am sure). Before I discovered CERB I met a lady on the DNR list and she was fantastic, of course I had no idea she was DNR (or even that CERB existed at the time). So your point is well taken but it is way too much of a generalization to be completely fair and I'm by no means disagreeing with you saying this as you didn't have the benefit of my ignorance and actually seen a DNR lady. Edited April 11, 2012 by backrubman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***dst*** Report post Posted April 11, 2012 I always ask the lady, and in most cases send a copy of a reco to the lady, before posting anything in the reco section. To the original post..I'm pretty sure you can PM info but you can't mention anyone specifically on the list...even mentioning their name on the public board isn't permitted...so I think you'd have to do something like..."looking for info on ppl who are 'DNR' if you have some pm me pls" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 While I might be inclined to agree with you if I didn't "know" better, I can attest that you are wrong (unintentionally I am sure). Before I discovered CERB I met a lady on the DNR list and she was fantastic, of course I had no idea she was DNR (or even that CERB existed at the time). So your point is well taken but it is way too much of a generalization to be completely fair and I'm by no means disagreeing with you saying this as you didn't have the benefit of my ignorance and actually see a DNR lady. There are many assumptions made about sps who choose to be DNR. I believe your experience is the normal, not the exception. You will hear much debate on the idea that an sp who is DNR is subpar and that is why they don't want reviews, but I know the reality is that they simply do not want reviews, and the reasons have nothing to do with that particular accusation. Some sps don't want discussion of any kind, including pms. But I think for the most part what they do not want is anything posted publically and actually might be OK with a pm exchange. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ou**or**n Report post Posted April 11, 2012 One of my ATF is TO lady who is gorgeous, gives great service and maintains a website. However she prefers to keep below the radar in terms of the review boards and keeps a strict DNR. However I believe the intent is to limit the ladies public exposure and thus I doubt a PM would be an issue. However as discussed it is a bit of a chicken and egg type of issue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 There are many assumptions made about sps who choose to be DNR. I believe your experience is the normal, not the exception. You will hear much debate on the idea that an sp who is DNR is subpar and that is why they don't want reviews, but I know the reality is that they simply do not want reviews, and the reasons have nothing to do with that particular accusation. Some sps don't want discussion of any kind, including pms. But I think for the most part what they do not want is anything posted publically and actually might be OK with a pm exchange. Exactly. It's natural to "assume" (if you don't know otherwise) that there is some sinister reason they asked to be on the DNR list but as CERB doesn't allow negative reviews anyways, it's not like that at all. In my particular case I have no idea why the lady wants to be DNR as she would get great reviews, except to say that she doesn't need reviews, she has more business than she can handle and is a true credit to this most honorable of professions. Maybe she was getting too much business :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The General 11309 Report post Posted April 11, 2012 Point well taken, just that if it is too challenging to find out about a lady, I would pass. Sure you might miss a gem or two, just that I would rather have the ability to assess, rather than take the chance. While I might be inclined to agree with you if I didn't "know" better, I can attest that you are wrong (unintentionally I am sure). Before I discovered CERB I met a lady on the DNR list and she was fantastic, of course I had no idea she was DNR (or even that CERB existed at the time). So your point is well taken but it is way too much of a generalization to be completely fair and I'm by no means disagreeing with you saying this as you didn't have the benefit of my ignorance and actually seen a DNR lady. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
