Meeting and background info

April 29, 2012

I'm relatively new to the hobby and would like to know some tips on finding the right lady verses the right now type. v

Phaedrus · May 1, 2012

Well, since nobody's replied to this yet, I'll take a stab at it :)

First, and probably most important: take the time to work out what you're looking for, and how much those things matter to you. There are plenty of folks who have preferences for body type, age range, hair color, tattoos and piercings (or not), although they may not talk about it all that much. But also, don't be too restrictive here, or you'll eliminate almost everyone before you start.

Secondly, what kind of an encounter do you want? Quick, or multiple hours? PSE? GFE? Something else? Are certain things important to you (kissing is one that comes up over and over again, here)?

I've mentioned these categories of things first because its usually (not always, but usually) relatively easy to work out whether a given lady will be right for you or not, based on her pics, ads, website and recos.

So, on to the more difficult but also more important stuff... the personality aspect of things, and finding someone you'll actually get along with - which pretty much all of us agree matters, but is nevertheless very hard to do. First of all, accept that this isn't an exact science, and however good your research you'll inevitably have some encounters that just aren't that great because you have no chemistry with the lady concerned. There's nothing wrong with this. It doesn't mean that either you or her did anything wrong. It's just a reflection of the fact that we're all different. On this one, I've found that the best bet for a rough guide is the ladies' ads and, especially, websites; some SPs put a *lot* of time and effort into their websites and you can get a pretty good idea of what they're about from them.

However, the best way of working out the personality stuff I've found is just being on CERB, and having conversations with people. Over time you'll get to know them, and you'll start to get an idea of which people you might be interested to meet. And then you'll probably find that they're on the wrong side of the country and don't travel, but nothing's perfect... You'll also see pics and ads and recos go by, and as you read those you may well stumble across gems that you'd like to get to know a little better. I have a list in my head of ladies I'd like to see, as and when the opportunity arises, mostly based on something I've seen here on CERB that piqued my interest. Alas, that list is more extensive than my financial prowess, and that's before you consider the ladies I've seen who I'd like to see again. *sigh*.

The one thing you actually mentioned ("right lady verses the right now type") sounds like one of those intangible things; I'd suggest looking through ads and websites until you find someone who feels right. It sounds like you're looking for the type of person who *would* have interesting ads that reflect her personality, and probably maintain a website, rather than just a cellphone and "Free tonite, cum see me" style ads. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with the latter, of course - it just doesn't sound to me like what you're looking for.

Finally, a disclaimer, which you've seen before: YMMV. What I've described above is what works for me. I'm sure other people have different methods of doing things.

So, there you have it. Hope those ramblings were useful!