Guest Report post Posted May 24, 2012 This is just an idea. If it's a bad one I'm sorry and my bad But I wanted to share it anyway. Is there any way to add a reference section the the gentlemen's profiles. Maybe a section where a guy could ask a couple of sp's if they would provide a reference for them and they just click accept if they are okey with this. So if need be a sp could just look at the potential clients profile and just send an email to so and so's references if she chooses. Or even better she doesn't need to because these two sp's are saying that so and so is a good guy and it would save some reference steps. Also that way if any problems occur with this client the provider can let the other girls know what happened and they can have the choice of removing themselves as a reference. I think this could be a useful tool for both the gentlemen and sp's of cerb. Cerb members would you like this feature. Just an idea. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I have no issues with it. I think if there is value for SPs, then I support it. Currently, I know that some SPs ask for references, and I was just reading backrubman's post regarding someone posing as him giving another SP as a reference. So this might reduce or eliminate fraud. Link to that thread: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=86228 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted May 24, 2012 A number of ladies use their "Friends List" for this purpose. Their policy is to only include on their Friends List gentlemen for whom they would provide a reference. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10029 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25777 As far as knowing which ladies use their Friends List for this purpose ... if there is no mechanism set up for this yet, perhaps there is one simple way. These ladies could create a new "Social Group", and request that all those ladies who follow this "Friends List as References" policy join that Group. That way, the complete list of ladies who use their Friends List in this way would be all together in one easily accessible place. If this or a similar system were set up, then it would be relatively simple to see if a potential client had any of these ladies on their Friends List. This isn't exactly what you're looking for, I know - but it could be done without adding any features, since it uses existing resources already available on the board. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tokan 16826 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I could see this being a useful tool for both the ladies and the gentlemen as it would allow the ladies to quickly check if they have seen other providers and allow them to get in touch to verify the references. The only thing is that there would have to be mechanisms in place so that references could only be added if both the provider and the visitor gave the okay. An alternative that may also be useful and easier to implement might be a reference section similar to the recommendation section for the ladies. Now I'm not entirely sure what might be the best way to implement this or what the protocol would be but it might be easier to have a central list everyone can check. I realize this might bring up some strong feelings, and if so I will apologize in advance. Just some morning thoughts :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leber 1328 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 It is certianly a nice-to-have feature. There are a few ladies who do request for at least one reference. So this feature will be helpful for some. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 24, 2012 A number of ladies use their "Friends List" for this purpose. Their policy is to only include on their Friends List gentlemen for whom they would provide a reference. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10029 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25777 As far as knowing which ladies use their Friends List for this purpose ... if there is no mechanism set up for this yet, perhaps there is one simple way. These ladies could create a new "Social Group", and request that all those ladies who follow this "Friends List as References" policy join that Group. That way, the complete list of ladies who use their Friends List in this way would be all together in one easily accessible place. If this or a similar system were set up, then it would be relatively simple to see if a potential client had any of these ladies on their Friends List. This isn't exactly what you're looking for, I know - but it could be done without adding any features, since it uses existing resources already available on the board. Not everyone is invited into this friends list or even knows about this friends list. This is the first time I've heard of this. I think a social group would be great but then again I could see it slipping by without some of the girls knowing about this. I also like tokens idea that the client could have the choice of only showing the references to the girls he is interested in seeing. Or have the choice of these references to be publicly viewed. It would just be an easy way to share some information. The sp then doesn't have to ask this person for references and it would be her choice to email the ladies for more details about the client. If the references are to her satisfaction it is just another thing this sp doesn't have to worry about. Asking a client for references, then getting a reference from the lady, then sending a pm to the lady to thank her and in the meantime waiting for every response. Plus it shows that this client is trustworthy and has nothing to hide. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 Hey Peachy, great topic. WIT's idea has some merit but I don't see it as practical for several reasons. One you have to be a friend on a specific ladies profile, so some sort of list would possibly have to be maintained to refer those who are part of the program. When setting up an appointment there would still have to be a dialog, need a reference, go so and so profile. I think it makes more sense to some how have the feature available through the gentleman's profile. If it's to be reliable I would like to be able to sets a references field myself with the permission of the lady. It maybe simply having a field to paste a link to the ladies profile who would provide the reference. It is secure because only the gentleman can edit his own profile. You only have to go to the client profile to see if he has references. So, it's just an initial thought, and it will be interesting to see what other ideas surface. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted May 24, 2012 ...WIT's idea has some merit but I don't see it as practical for several reasons. ... When setting up an appointment there would still have to be a dialog, need a reference, go so and so profile.....I think it makes more sense to some how have the feature available through the gentleman's profile ... The Friend's List is a two-way street. If the lady is a Friend of the Gent, then the Gent is also automatically a friend of the lady. The Friends List connection would be accessed through the Gent's profile page - no more need for dialog than in any other way suggested. As I said, it's not exactly what Peachy is asking for, but the structure already exists for it. Similar ideas to Peachy's have been suggested several times in the past, but Cerb site management has never gotten behind the idea, and so has never done the programming to create such a feature. Using my suggestion, nothing new would have to be programmed, it's there now, ready to be used by the members without any help from Cerb management. The members would be in full control and have the power to build, maintain, and promote it. I think it has the same level of practicality, except that the lady would have to opt-in through joining the suggested social group, and maintain her Friends List consistently, rather than on a hit-and-miss basis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 24, 2012 The thing about the friends list is there are many sp's and gentlemen who have many friends on their list that they may not even know. Some have a short list and in this sense it would be useful. But to sift through all of the girls on some peoples friends list isn't productive. It is just easier to pm the guy and ask for a reference. If it was part of the profile it would be easy to see. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 The Friend's List is a two-way street. If the lady is a Friend of the Gent, then the Gent is also automatically a friend of the lady. . I hadn't realized that the friends list worked in both directions, nice to know, always learning new things about this site. I'm not really suggesting any additional changes. In the About Me section the gentleman could simply past a CERB link to a ladies profile who he has permission to provide as a reference. There is a field called "Recommendation or URL of a page that is important to me here on cerb" The onus is on the client to keeps the references current. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 The thing about the friends list is there are many sp's and gentlemen who have many friends on their list that they may not even know. Some have a short list and in this sense it would be useful. But to sift through all of the girls on some peoples friends list isn't productive. It is just easier to pm the guy and ask for a reference. If it was part of the profile it would be easy to see. I agree with you here Peachy. Simple is good. Designing an automated or quick solution does not always fit every situation. Often times, the old, clunky methods work best...ie/ PM for references. I was thinking the SP business is somewhat transitory. People come and go. Trying to maintain an updated list can be tricky. What happens if a lady polls another lady who is now out of the business. How would a non-response be interpreted? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I don't think it would be to hard for a gentleman to keep his references updated. Especially if it is just two girls. I would think that it would be harder for a gentleman to find two references at all, then to just update it as you go. But not everyone thinks this way and I can see what your saying in the sense that the guys have to be held accountable for their reference list. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 In theory I agree with Peachy, having a "reference field" is a great idea. It would provide a quick and easy go to for any lady to inquire about a potential new client. That said this reference area would seem to put the onus on the lady to seek a reference from another rather than the gent. in question volunteering a reference. Plus with a public forum the lady or ladies who are acting as the reference may run the risk of being ostracized if the gent were to commit a faux pas either privately or publicly. Vouching for someone (in any line of work) is more than just saying "so and so is a cool guy." Vouching for someone means that the person being vouched for is up to MY standards and therefore MY reputation is on the line if he/she f@*ks up. If it were me I would prefer to have that conversation in private hence anyone who is on someone elses friends list become a reliable reference. More to the point, this whole topic could be erased if when a gent. contacts a lady for the first time he volunteers his reference(s) to her in his opening message. I have done this many, many times and it has served me VERY well. It shows that I am being open and honest and that I am serious about continuing the conversation with the end result ultimately being an encounter. Of course these are just my thoughts...as they are. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I think it's a good idea Peachy. I personally would have no issues with providing two or more references. Very understandable, especially for independent SP's and MA's. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted May 24, 2012 Aside from the do-it-yourself method I've suggested, and thinking about a theoretically possible new feature: I don't know anything about the ease of programming new features, but perhaps this new feature could be coded to work in the exact same way that the current Friends List does. A new References List would create profile links in the same way the Friends List does, and operate in all respects like the Friends List. In order to create the link, either the provider or the client would have to send a "References Request", and the other would have to accept the Request. Only after both these steps were taken would the provider appear on the client's References List. Anyone looking at a client's References List would know that both the client and the provider had agreed to the References link, just like anyone looking at a member's Friends List knows that both members must have agreed to the Friends link. If a gent didn't want "just anyone" who might be nosey to have access to his references, he wouldn't ask for or accept any References links from the ladies. Similarly, if a lady for any reason didn't feel comfortable with this openly published arrangement, she would just choose not to accept Reference List requests (independently of whether or not she would provide a reference in the traditional way). Either party could edit their References List at any time, deleting References they no longer wished to continue. This would be done just by unchecking the particular member's box in the member's References List, just as Friendships are terminated in the current system. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I agree with Steve that I would not want to see any girls get the blame for a guys bad behavior. I guess the girl who got treated unfairly could tell the other sps about what happened and they could remove themselves as references god forbid anything happen. You really don't want to think that way but sometimes bad things do happen. I like wit's idea but I don't want to think of girls getting the blame for some fools behavior. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 Peachy, perhaps this is a subject we could talk about in our private section at further length to establish some protocols and guidelines if the idea is of interest for the majority of the ladies. There is already an exisiting Cerb feature that is available to us: User Notes (2) I am taking Wrinkledintime's profile as an example since he was the last poster in this thread: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=20826 The first box we see under his avatar contains: Send Message User Lists User Notes (0) and the user notes are only accessible by the ladies. Additional Comments: I think it's a good idea Peachy. I personally would have no issues with providing two or more references. Very understandable, especially for independent SP's and MA's. Most of us require at least one recent reference from another independent companion before a first time rendez-vous and the information is usually provided in the first e-mail contact by the gentleman. It's easy and it works very well. P411- screening service- https://www.preferred411.com/ also provides this reference option for members. It is free for the ladies to use and there is a small monthly fee for the gentlemen. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Wa**ard S** Report post Posted May 24, 2012 The thing about the friends list is there are many sp's and gentlemen who have many friends on their list that they may not even know. Some have a short list and in this sense it would be useful. But to sift through all of the girls on some peoples friends list isn't productive. It is just easier to pm the guy and ask for a reference. If it was part of the profile it would be easy to see. This is very much true to my current situation Peachy in that I've been here for just a few days now and three lovely ladies have sent me Friendship requests which I gladly accepted although I have not yet had the pleasure of their company. Like I said to you, I fully support any and all efforts for your (and other ladies') safety and security. Hope it all falls into place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted May 24, 2012 ... There is already an exisiting Cerb feature that is available to us: User Notes (2) I am taking Wrinkledintime's profile as an example since he was the last poster in this thread: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=20826 The first box we see under his avatar contains: Send Message User Lists User Notes (0) and the user notes are only accessible by the ladies... User Notes used to be viewable only by the person who made the notes (and by the mods). Each note was in effect a private memo to yourself about another member. I noticed this feature disappeared a while back. I see now that it didn't disappear, but was changed into something entirely different. I trust that the user notes made about other members under the old "private" system were erased and are not now visible to all the Service Providers (not that I made any remarks that I would be embarassed by, but other members may have done so). I take it from what you say that there's no way for a client to know what comments (if any) are attached to their own profile. This is entirely appropriate from a discretion/safety perspective. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 User Notes used to be viewable only to the person who made the notes. It was in effect a private note to yourself about another member. I noticed this feature disappeared a while back. Are you saying it didn't disappear, but was changed into something entirely different? The feature still exist but only for the ladies (ladies who have 'SP only access', I believe but do not quote me on that). What happened to the user notes I made about other members under the old "private" system? I trust that they were erased and are not now visible to all the Service Providers (not that I made any remarks that I would be embarassed by, but other members may have done so)? There is nothing in your user notes at this time so I am assuming that when the functionality of that option changed everything in there was automatically deleted. Perhaps mod could tell you more but as far as I know (and can see), there is nothing showing in your user notes. I take it from what you say that there's no way for a client to know what comments (if any) are attached to their own profile. Nope ;) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted May 24, 2012 This thread has turned out to be highly educational! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123368 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I just posted in WIt's used note..can the the ladies see it? I was also thinking maybe a banner on our profile saying something about reference friendly or something. I still use my friends lists as a reference list. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 I've been around for quite a long time and can't ever remember being asked for a reference, and I've enjoyed the company of some great women. I think part of the reason is my approach, as I generally write a fairly open and detailed message to the ladies I want to meet, so there aren't any surprises or misunderstandings. Couple that with a chance to take a look at my posts and a chat before meeting, it has just never been necessary. If I had been asked I'm sure I could give the names of a few ladies that would have no trouble supplying the reference, even without their prior agreement. I guess that does raise the question as to whether one should give a reference without the prior approval of the provider. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 On a few SP and MA websites, on their 'Contact Me' section, they mentioned information that they would like in the first email including references. I like the idea of that bit of instruction being put in there, for one thing, when I first got in touch with an MA, that told me specifically what to write down (I was drawing a blank earlier). She had asked for a reference from an Indy professional. I had told her honestly that this was a first time thing for me, gave a slightly longer intro to compensate. She was more then accommodating, asked for a time to call, and we talked for a few minutes the following day on the phone. So my recommendation is if someone is getting a fair bit of newcomers (or not even), perhaps add those bit of instructions as a guide. It helped me a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) I think it's a great idea but I don't know how it could be implemented properly. I don't think anything on someone's publicly viewable profile is appropriate including the "Friends list as a reference list" usage. If I understand ahead of time that a lady uses her friends list only for references then quite frankly I am likely not to see her or at least not accept her friends request. A publicly viewable list of her all her good clients has to be bad on multiple levels. I think a public directory that would be created by the common adoption of such a thing would be a privacy issue as it's nobody's business what ladies I choose to meet including the ladies I choose to meet except in the case of reference(s) I gladly offer if asked for. But even then I get to choose who to use as a reference. We already give up enough information of who has met who in writing recommendations which is clearly one of the reasons I don't write more of them. Additional comments: Just to clarify the privacy problem, consider the case of a lady in Toronto I have seen some 40 times. I have developed a valued "professional" friendship (and probably put her kids through college) and then for whatever reason (there are many) I choose to visit someone else on this trip (and use a reference from lady in another city to avoid just this problem) and she by what ever means finds out that I saw someone else in Toronto (as they are now recommending me as a great client) and I get an "I'm hurt, why didn't you call me if you were in town?" kind of message. As far as I'm concerned, absolute discretion is part of the arrangement. This kind of situation has already occurred (because the ladies were friends and talked to each other about me when they shouldn't have, IMHO) :) Edited May 24, 2012 by backrubman 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites