To the Men: Would you want to Know??

[spud271 47779]

Personally it wouldn't bother me at all if I ended up seeing an SP who I had met outside of hobbying. If they recognized it wouldn't bother me either. It certainly would not hinder my decision as to whether I would see them again or not. Personally I would find it a bit more erotic if it turned to be someone I had met or was an aquaintance.

 

I have a question to the all the Men:

(SP are more then welcome to comment as well!)

If an SP recognized you during a visit, would you want her to tell you??

I personally have had a couple clients that I know from the outside world of Cerb, but I never know if I should say, Hey remember me, your my dentist.....lol (thats an example)

So I want to know what your thoughts are? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Would it stop you from being a repeat customer? Or would you smirk and feel more naughty??

Kisses

[BigBlueMachine 112]

Personally, it wouldn't bother me as long as common sense prevailed. If I was in a group setting dicretion would appreciated. If I was alone, I'd love to be acknowledged and chat for a bit. At the end of the day the simple answer is -- it all depends on who, what, where and when.

[kih 458]

I have a question to the all the Men:

(SP are more then welcome to comment as well!)

 

If an SP recognized you during a visit, would you want her to tell you??

 

I personally have had a couple clients that I know from the outside world of Cerb, but I never know if I should say, Hey remember me, your my dentist.....lol (thats an example)

 

So I want to know what your thoughts are? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Would it stop you from being a repeat customer? Or would you smirk and feel more naughty??

 

Kisses

 

AvaJ,

 

Thats an awesome topic and a similar predicament that I was faced with recently in a busy business environment with a particular lady.

 

Rather than evade, we both acknowledged that we knew each other and subsequently stepped aside the mainstream by grabbing a coffee at a nearby Star bucks and reminiscenced on past experiences.

 

It was nice to see her again!

[Bethany Westbrooke 7532]

Personally, it wouldn't bother me as long as common sense prevailed. If I was in a group setting dicretion would appreciated. If I was alone, I'd love to be acknowledged and chat for a bit. At the end of the day the simple answer is -- it all depends on who, what, where and when.

 

I completely agree with this, if either party is not alone then acknowledging each other is out of the question- you don't know if they're with their SO or someone else that is unaware of these activities and don't want to cause any issues... If they are alone and it feels right then by all means a nice hello is always appreciated but if the situation isn't right- i.e. if I am waiting for someone outside the men's room do not approach as someone is coming out -right, lol...

 

I have met people in session that I knew from outside of this lifestyle and it has been immediate recognition, I think most clients will choose an SP/MP especially if they remind them of someone they were attracted to- in my case he had a hunch it was me and was pleased that he was right! A quick mention if either party doesn't realize- always a good idea and also even if it had already been discussed complete discretion should be reassured to each other again...

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I have a question to the all the Men:

(SP are more then welcome to comment as well!)

 

If an SP recognized you during a visit, would you want her to tell you??

 

I personally have had a couple clients that I know from the outside world of Cerb, but I never know if I should say, Hey remember me, your my dentist.....lol (thats an example)

 

So I want to know what your thoughts are? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Would it stop you from being a repeat customer? Or would you smirk and feel more naughty??

 

Kisses

 

Personally I think you should always let the client know about your personal knowledge of them, however doing so in a discrete and professional manner is of the utmost importance.

I don't think it's up to the SP alone to make a judgement call on what type of risk the client is willing to assume, the client needs to be able to make an informed decision and only by being open and honest with your clients can you ensure they are able to assume the type of risk that is acceptable to them. As an SP we are never fully aware of a clients entire situation, we are not privy to their home or work environment and we cannot fully appreciate the risk they are taking when choosing to see us. It's up to them to set the boundaries they are comfortable with just as we set our own parameters and work within them. When those circumstances change it's our duty to inform the client of any changes and to let them make an informed decision on whether or not they'd like to continue the relationship under the new context.

 

 

On a personal note I've had this situation arise on several occasions and I usually sit down with the client at the beginning of a session and explain my thoughts. Sometimes it's the first time I've seen them and I just want them to know that I think I recognize them from the outside world and sometimes it's that we've now crossed paths in our other personal or professional lives and I believe it might have a bearing on our existing client/SP relationship.

The outcome has been varied, sometimes we continue as if nothing has happened and sometimes we have ceased all contact both as client and SP and in our outside world just to be safe as we felt it might be a conflict of interest in our professional careers.

In one situation I can honestly say that I would never have thought of any conflict at all and was hesitant to mention it but I knew my client worked for a corp. that I was submitting a proposal for in my real career. I thought I'd mention it just in case he'd been less than honest with me about his own career and position in the company, it turns out he had been and just by my coming forward with the knowledge I had I avoided a potentially embarrassing situation or even worse.

 

There are always potential conflicts and they can come from anywhere and anyone of them might be far more risk than the client is willing to assume. Anything from sharing a hairstylist with a clients wife to it being against SEC guidelines for the client and you to see each other (yes it can and does happen) or any number of personal or professional entanglements. If the client is unaware then he cannot be sure what type of risk he is assuming and what the potential consequences are. As the SP your consequences are very different and you cannot provide an accurate risk assessment from your side of things, informing him is the least you can do.

 

I also think it's only fair for a client to do the same and have had clients do so on numerous occasions for me. Some have come across my real name at my work or via some charity work I do and they will often let me know they are aware of it just in case it makes me uncomfortable. I usually tell them it's not a big deal to me and that I will proceed without any issues though on occasion it does hit to close to home and I'll explain that I think it's best to forget about the entire thing.

[loneskater 25635]

Personnally it would not bother me whatsoever. I have been involved in this business for many years and also lived in Europe in the early 80s where attitude then towards the sex trade was a lot more open. So I have learned a long time ago that you don't judge SPs/MAs by what they do but by who they are just like anyone else. i wish society would just accept that this is a job. Should I avoid the nice nurse that saw my naked butt in the hospital??????

 

I certainly would not want some female co-worker to make a detour or ignore me if we met in a mall or down the street I certainly don't want SPs/MAs to ignore me whether I am alone or with someone. If who I am with ask me who she is I will simply say someone I know or met before. It certainly would not stop me for repeating as I have always repeated with the majority of the ladies I met. That is why I only see a few at any given time. Actually It would probably get me to make a booking to see her soon. Especially if she smiled. i just can't resist a beautiful smile.

 

Of course different story If I see the SPs/MA is with someone. I don't wnat then to have to answer questions.

 

I have a question to the all the Men:

(SP are more then welcome to comment as well!)

 

If an SP recognized you during a visit, would you want her to tell you??

 

I personally have had a couple clients that I know from the outside world of Cerb, but I never know if I should say, Hey remember me, your my dentist.....lol (thats an example)

 

So I want to know what your thoughts are? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Would it stop you from being a repeat customer? Or would you smirk and feel more naughty??

 

Kisses

[click 110]

If an SP recognised me during a visit, I most definitely would like to be made aware of this at the outset. Otherwise, what if we were in the middle of a highly intimate act, and I recognised the SP as being my mom's next door neighbour. Really, the last person that I want to think about during sex is my mom, so that could be quite the mood killer. Others have made the legitimate observation that some conflict of interest might potentially exist ... and while I can't think of any way that it might have an impact on me (unless I was supposed to photograph your wedding next week), it could be cause for concern for others.

 

Although it wasn't part of Ava's original question, others have brought up the "meeting on the street" scenario, and I know that I for one would certainly like at least some type of casual recognition should we cross paths "in the real world". In fact, I would probably be put off if there wasn't at least a wink or a smile exchanged.

[Seymour 3970]

I think it is a very personal thing. Discretion is key.

If you're in another profession where you find out someone's real name, address etc, if you're still seeing the person, politely let them know - but do not use that information for malicious intent. "Do unto other as you would have others do unto you."

 

In the same vein, running into someone while getting groceries and acknowledging the person with a nod of the head, smile, wink is perfectly acceptable. Never can tell who both client and SP is with, so this way everyone is covered.

 

Would it stop me from repeating - likely not. Kinda adds a little mystery to the whole thing. If it made me feel uncomfortable,well we're adults and I'm sure we could discuss it and decide what to do (continue seeing each other or stop).

 

For the record, I'm not Ava's dentist, nor does she work in my dental lab. However, I would like to see her in a lab coat, and have her check my pulse. I may need a physical soon....

[Guest f***2f***]

Yes a lab coat...and only a lab coat....perhaps only a few buttons done up on the front ha ha....:mrgreen:

[MissAva 376]

For the record, I'm not Ava's dentist, nor does she work in my dental lab. However, I would like to see her in a lab coat, and have her check my pulse. I may need a physical soon....

 

This can be done sweetie!! ;) I am thinking lab coat with red fishnets!!! hmmmm now I got myself going...lol

[esoterica 624]

I wasn't going to say anything here about this but the topic is interesting.

 

I know a CERBite from a previous social setting. I have not said anything to her because the opportunity to chat with her in private has not come up since I finally clued in - mainly due to scheduling. I certainly would never say anything to anybody else about it, and I doubt she would either. And if you recognize yourself as that lady here, here's a wave <grin>, message me.

[Seymour 3970]

This can be done sweetie!! ;) I am thinking lab coat with red fishnets!!! hmmmm now I got myself going...lol

 

You remembered Red is my favorite color.. don't get too worked up, let me help you with that. :-)

Sorry for the hijack all - I just hijacked the thread and the lovely Ava. ;-)

[E.D. man 691]

Ava , what would you do , if one of your friends was on a date with one of your single clients. And you knew both were looking for real relationships.

A. would you be jealous

B. If they work out how would you feel about losing the client

C. would you tell your friend and possibly lose both your friend and client

D what else could happen?:!::twisted:

[MissAva 376]

Ava , what would you do , if one of your friends was on a date with one of your single clients. And you knew both were looking for real relationships.

A. would you be jealous

B. If they work out how would you feel about losing the client

C. would you tell your friend and possibly lose both your friend and client

D what else could happen?:!::twisted:

 

Well, A client is just that a client.... I am fairly good friends with a couple clients, but thats where it starts and ends. It's a matter of maintaining my professionalism and not to blur my personal boundary lines.

If I have a friend who has met a client, whether they are in the buisness or not, I would be happy. There are many clients in the sea, that there is no need to be petty and hurt someone else. If my friend was not in the buisness, I would never say anything. First of all if the guy was a catch and treated her well, thats all that matters to me. I for one can't judge the client for seeking the company of an SP. If my friendship is a true friendship, nothing would come between it, especially over something like this situation.

I hope this answers your question.

[E.D. man 691]

Your really cool Ava!!!8-)8)

[SensualMassage 100]

I would really appreciate knowing that my SP knows me from the outside world. The likelyhood of me meeting an SP on the outside would probably be through my work...and I'm really not supposed to sleep with people I treat. I would hate to think how I would feel knowing after the fact that I slept with someone I used to treat.

SM

[Apex2006 1071]

That is a tough one, I guess the right thing would be to let the person know. If I don't know who you are then I guess it would not matter if you have seen me before! If we went to High school together, then it could be bad and it could be good! I always like to chat it up. I do see how that could pose and uncomfortable feeling!

 

Wow, that's tough question!

[spud271 47779]

Now this is why you are one incredible woman Ava. Your perspective is very insightful and I agree with you 100%. Personally I have dated an SP in the past and everything has worked out well, so I know it can work, you just have to be on the same wavelength. I tend to think if you care about the friend and you knew the guy is a stand up person, then there would be no reason to be jealous or petty about it. Being happy for people who have found that special someone makes you a good person and a great friend!

 

 

Well, A client is just that a client.... I am fairly good friends with a couple clients, but thats where it starts and ends. It's a matter of maintaining my professionalism and not to blur my personal boundary lines.

If I have a friend who has met a client, whether they are in the buisness or not, I would be happy. There are many clients in the sea, that there is no need to be petty and hurt someone else. If my friend was not in the buisness, I would never say anything. First of all if the guy was a catch and treated her well, thats all that matters to me. I for one can't judge the client for seeking the company of an SP. If my friendship is a true friendship, nothing would come between it, especially over something like this situation.

I hope this answers your question.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I have a question to the all the Men:

(SP are more then welcome to comment as well!)

 

If an SP recognized you during a visit, would you want her to tell you??

 

I personally have had a couple clients that I know from the outside world of Cerb, but I never know if I should say, Hey remember me, your my dentist.....lol (thats an example)

 

So I want to know what your thoughts are? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Would it stop you from being a repeat customer? Or would you smirk and feel more naughty??

 

Kisses

 

I would be OK with it, and I would agree it would make the whole situation a lot more naughty and fun. I think in fact I would be more inclined to be a repeat customer so long as all the other chemistry aspects were aligned (looks, service satisfaction, etc).

 

I think though both SP and client would be advised to talk it through and establish some ground rules for inside and outside of "visitation hours".

 

How do the SP's out there feel about this?

[Akhenaton 221]

Lol, missed that angle ;)

 

True enough. Could make meetings/appointments in rl a lot more "interesting" ;)

 

Yeah, I agree about the SO Akh, though my use of "affair" may be a bit misleading. It's not really the perception of what constitutes cheating that I was trying to get at. It's more the kind of relationship I would view us as having. From a purely personal perspective, I think if I saw a woman on a semi-regular basis (like Ava's dentist example) I would find it hard to separate that from the SP-client relationship.

[Akhenaton 221]

That's definately a valid concern I had missed, given MP's and MT's can somtimes get into a pickle with this kind of stuff (like loosing their license for MTs), not good at all !!!

 

I would really appreciate knowing that my SP knows me from the outside world. The likelyhood of me meeting an SP on the outside would probably be through my work...and I'm really not supposed to sleep with people I treat. I would hate to think how I would feel knowing after the fact that I slept with someone I used to treat.

SM

[shymale 10234]

yes hid like to know, it might help me be more at ease since i know you from somewhere else, and having this secret between us would be fun

[drlove 37204]

It's always been a fantasy of mine to meet someone as an SP that I know in real life. While it hasn't happened yet, I can think of a few bank tellers and store clerks etc. who I wouldn't mind having the pleasure with! 8-)

[Guest f***2f***]

It's always been a fantasy of mine to meet someone as an SP that I know in real life. While it hasn't happened yet, I can think of a few bank tellers and store clerks etc. who I wouldn't mind having the pleasure with! 8-)

 

Couldn't you just ask them out on a date?:mrgreen:

[RockinRick444 107]

yes i would want to know.:idea: