How Did/Do You Choose...

[Jade-S (Retired) 19717]

I just had a very interesting conversation which led me to wonder, how as an SP did you decide which kind of service you wished to provide.

 

And if you started one way, and refined it to something altogether different..what was the factor? Or did you start, the way you meant to carry on? As has been said before, we all have personal reasons for entering this profession. How did you fine tune it to meet your own desires/needs as well?

 

And how much does your personality reflect with the individual services provided?

 

Also as a Gentleman, how do you truly decide on an SP? And once again how much does personality (yours) factor in?

 

As it varies from person to person, that each individual has personal needs to be met.

 

Is it based on desires/needs from an emotional or physical level? or both? Is one more important and the other secondary? And why?

 

What draws you to a particular SP? your personality and what desires/needs you would like fulfilled? or their personality and what they provide to fulfill that desire/need? Or is it both? To find an SP that matches you more in personality than anything else?

 

Curiosity....

 

Jade

[piano8950 32577]

Also as a Gentleman, how do you truly decide on an SP? And once again how much does personality (yours) factor in?

 

I've seen two individuals in this industry. One is an MA, the other is an SP. As for how my personality factored in; I would think that I put in the same amount of effort into researching someone I would be happy with in the end, as I would with anything else that I'm unfamiliar with. So the more information that was out there about this particular individual, the easier it became for me to identify with the person. I looked at some of their posts here, and wanted to get a sense that they wanted to do what they do. I may just be another client to them, but in the time that we shared together, I wanted to ensure that they gave me the impression that they were actually not doing this solely for the money, but because they are enthusiastic about what they do. I'm happy to say that both ladies blew me away, and I wish their dedication to client services was applied in other industries (I'm speaking about the non-sexual stuff).

 

As it varies from person to person, that each individual has personal needs to be met.

 

Is it based on desires/needs from an emotional or physical level? or both? Is one more important and the other secondary? And why?

 

 

I have to say an equal dose of both physical and emotional. I initially looked for someone my own age, give or take 3 years or so. It wasn't so much of a physical thing at that point, as much as it was my own inadequacies with seeing someone much younger then I while being barely experienced in sex. I didn't end up seeking someone older then this range mainly because I just wanted to identify with the SP for my first time age wise. I am not particularly concerned with age now that I have a tad bit of experience.

 

And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I don't have a preference with some body types over others. But paired with the wrong personality, I would never get in touch with that SP.

 

What draws you to a particular SP? your personality and what desires/needs you would like fulfilled? or their personality and what they provide to fulfill that desire/need? Or is it both? To find an SP that matches you more in personality than anything else?

 

Intelligence is sexy. A point of view, backed up with logic and reason (even if it's the polar opposite of mine) is sexy. Creativity is sexy, the willingness and drive to do more is...you guessed it, sexy!

 

As for desires, I don't really care for the GFE, I mean, I love the conversations and all that stuff, but the fantasy of a GF is not my cup of tea. What I love is the independence of being able to truly explore myself sexually. There are some things that I think back to my last session and just start day dreaming about, but I like the freedom of being able to learn (without feeling as if I'm looking like a fool, or ruining something).

 

Anyhow, hopefully I haven't rambled too much off topic

[The General 11309]

How do I choose a lady. When I am thinking with the right head, I look for someone that has a passion for a sexual encounter and will enjoy the experience as much as I.

 

I am mostly into variety, so body type is only somewhat important, I will vary from younger to mature, spinner to curvy, but look to find a personality and service that is right for me. Do I always get it right, no. Do I keep trying, of course. There are so many beautiful ladies out there.

[northerntantra 4671]

Much of what I would say in answer to Jade-S questions would echo those of piano. A Provider's personality, intelligence and motivation are all key factors for me, whether deciding on a first visit or on repeats. There was a time when all we (clients) had to go on was a few words or lines in a newspaper. Then perhaps an all too brief phone call. Now, with forums like cerb we have profiles, pictures, postings etc. in other words, a wealth of information that helps a client get to know a provider's personality.

 

Trust and security are also important factors. I've only been ripped off once, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. In that case, I had very little info to go on. Now I always do my research first, and I would argue that it's very unlikely someone could generate reams of thoughtful and insightful posts over a long period of time and actually be hiding their true persona. Writing reveals who you are and how you think. Even when it's just asking insightful questions, like Jade-S did when starting this thread. Haven't met her yet, but I'm really liking what I've "seen" so far.

 

Like piano, I wouldn't say that body type isn't a factor for me. But so is variety and my particular interests, which can change over time. Sometimes we just want what we don't don't have. I used to obsess a little over that wonderful curve that some women have just above their hip ... the one that is so prominent when they are lying on their side. Lately, I've been intrigued by the possibilities of an athletic spinner. Next month, who knows?

 

As to motivation, the moment I sense that a provider is doing this just for the money, and isn't going to get any pleasure from the experience, I'm looking elsewhere. For me to enjoy my time with someone, I have to feel that they will enjoy their time with me.

 

So to the ladies out there, keep up the interesting dialog. And the humor. (Sacha's posts had me dying to meet her.). Every little bit helps.

 

And for the clients, I think the same applies. The really good provider's can be even better when they have some idea of who they're about to see. When we reveal ourselves through our writings, I believe it helps them feel more at ease on that first meeting.

[sweetman 186]

Like anything else we are attracted the the cover of the book before we open it. Once the cover entices us to look inside then we see if the content is attractive. The same goes here in selecting who I would wish to spend time with. Compatibility is huge for me. Finding someone who is eager to please and at the same time is anxious to be pleased are my key criteria. For our encounter to be enjoyable is a two way street. Both of us have to love what we are doing. Both of us need that connection. Without it, we are simply going through the motions.

It is an awesome feeling when you do develop a connection with someone here and it is through mental stimulation where that occurs. Once there is the mental then the anticipation of the physical makes for an extremely wonderful meeting/s. Once there is that connection, that comfort, that I know how to please her and vise versa we have a great connection.

But as I alluded to at the beginning we are still attracted at the outset by the cover of the book that is presented to us.

Once again Jade you pose a very stimulating question. You are a very stimulating lady whose cover I find adorable and whose book I would love to read from cover to cover under the covers.

[Guest]

Jade. I always say that I put my best foot forward. What I mean by that is that I'm my best self. I can not be anyone else other than me. So there is no point trying to pretend to be something else. However, I do not bring my own drama into the sessions.

 

I decided to go with the girlfriend experience because is touches on my friendly personality towards my clients. When my clients are with me they are treated like they are my boyfriend. I talk to them like they are old friends and I won't get into details about the rest teehee. Most of all I like to make my clients feel comfortable.

 

I couldn't see myself doing it any other way to be honest with you. I enjoy intimacy with my clients and the bond that I make with my clients. It is not only interesting in most cases I feel like I made a new friend.

 

I also like longer sessions they have always been my favorite.

 

THIS IS BY NO MEANS AN ADVERTISEMENT. If others feel otherwise I will ask for this to be removed right away.

[Leber 1328]

When choosing a lady, I look for these qualities: good personal hygiene, friendliness and someone who is natural around people.

 

Good luck.

[nntsci 11076]

>Also as a Gentleman, how do you truly decide on an SP? And once again how much

> does personality (yours) factor in?

 

To be honest the main basis of choosing a service providor is her appearance -- I'm largely superficial. Buts its not just her appearnace, I'm most turned on by images where I can imagine myself with her -- I can put myself in the picture. My taste changes from day to day. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a blond, another time for black hair, sometimes red hair, and often brown hair. I like variety and change. I like reasonably large breasts, but I prefer the natural ones.

 

But I also do look for review or recommendations for the girl or of the agency.

 

In terms of looks it not just how pretty the girl is, but how exciting the picture is. For example on the Garden of Eden web site one of the pictures of Lacy had a twisting motion that reminded me of some of the great sculptures from the Renaissance (I pasted a thumbnail into my review of her). I wanted to have my hands all over that twisting torso.

 

Another girl from Garden of Eden, Sophie, I booked because her photos had a mischievous look and her self description was very appealing. For example, "I have a vivacious personality and a hunger for life that when experienced will inspire you to live more of life than you ever have before."

 

Tomorrow I visit Violet at Passions for a second visit. I booked her before because her long wavy brown hair reminded me of a girl that I know (and she has a great body overall as a bonus). But I'm going back because she was so much fun to be with.

 

It depends.

[Jade-S (Retired) 19717]

Once again the Gentleman of CERB outdid themselves.

 

Thank you for being so open and forthcoming.

 

This question intrigued me.

 

For me its very personality based. Who I am, what I'm about had to factor into the service provided. I knew what felt right for me, and what didnt.

 

Peachy thank you for your input.:) While I was reading yours, I was thinking atta girl! I think youre probably a pretty remarkable woman.

 

I wonder if (I wonder if I'm going to hijack my own thread saying this..haha)

 

but I wonder if as an SP if you go too far out of who you are, if there is a higher possibility of losing yourself in the process?

 

Another thought to ponder..LOL

 

Jade xoxo

[April Dawn 12207]

I found in the begining that there was a lot of April dawn in my sessions and a lot less of the super shy me. I've taken a lot of the confidence that I have gained in this profession into my everyday life and I absolutely love it and am thankful for the experience I have gained.

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[Guest]

 

but I wonder if as an SP if you go too far out of who you are, if there is a higher possibility of losing yourself in the process?

 

Another thought to ponder..LOL

 

Jade xoxo

 

Jade I think you would do really well advertising the tantric sex you were talking about in your other thread. It's new and very interesting.

 

I think it is very important to have time to yourself. When 3:30 comes along the phone gets turned off. The phone stays off on the weekend too. People can contact me by email which get answered when I can. That's why I also find it important to have your own work place too. Separation from work is good no matter what you do.

[backrubman 64800]

but I wonder if as an SP if you go too far out of who you are, if there is a higher possibility of losing yourself in the process?

 

I don't think we have to worry about this one. We can't change who we are, but we can push ourselves to overcome anxieties and step outside our individual comfort levels a little and this is probably a good thing.

 

I remember my first public speaking engagement. Small conference room, I go there at the appointed time and the room is empty. Oh I can handle this! Wasn't keen on speaking to 50 or so people anyways. Then a guy comes along and tells me there is so much interest in my presentation it had to be moved to the main theater which seats 8,000! Well, there must have been 9,000 as it was standing room only. So I just did it - I brought the house down, shook hands for an hour, went back to my room and was violently sick! But it changed my life for the better and these days I could easily address the nation and wouldn't care.

 

Yeah, from Peachy's posts it seems she is sometimes shy but doesn't let it affect the quality of her work at all, awesome, you go girl!

[roamingguy 300292]

Well for the most part, and the way I do it now is stay strictly with CERB.

Went off the reserve so to speak, a few times LOL, each time terrible.

Yes, I look at the photos...but do they decide it for me, no.

I read the lady's profile, website, and her posts. They give me an idea if we'd click if we have an encounter.

And there are ladies I've noticed, and am noticing, but as a travelling gentleman, I can only allow myself this escape once a month. But there are ladies on my to see list, because they interest me and I think we'd click

One other thing, sometimes word of mouth from a lady I've seen. She might say I'll like a certain lady. And when that comes from ladies who's opinion I respect, I listen.

As for the ladies I've seen, and would see again, the only thing in common they have is they are female between 25-50. But each lady is unique, so I can't say I have just one type.

I don't know if that answers your question or not, but it's my afternoon rambling

RG

[cat 262460]

I have seen providers create a completely different alter ego that seem to be a polar opposite of who they are. Over the years I've learned to spot the ones that are simply bringing a facet of themselves out into the open and recognize the completely created providers because the fakes can't maintain the facade for long.

 

For me, I entertain as myself. The woman who opens the door is the same woman that I am 24/7/365. There is no extra polish or presentation just because I have a guest over. My gentlemen get my genuine, often unedited opinions, thoughts, feelings and actions put into a visit. I have found that trying to split who I am between a personal and work life to be a bit undoing at times. I divide my time and keep specific work/personal hours but I am the same woman in my personal life as I am when I entertain. It makes life easier for me...

 

cat

[Jade-S (Retired) 19717]

I suppose what I meant by this and I should have clarified. :)

 

Was, I think and know on a personal level (for example) Im not a 15 minute girl. (Though as the other ladies stated I have no issue with a quicky occasionally! :icon_biggrin:) But thats different. Or one who could see numerous clients a day

 

Dont misunderstand there is no judgement whatsoever for the professional ladies that do, do this. I think its great, I just know I couldnt. (perhaps they couldnt see themselves offering tantric sex for example ;) )

 

At the core of me, It, I think would weigh on me eventually,therefor, losing myself. It just deviates too far from who I am.

 

I'm much happier in myself and what I provide in longer time and fewer clients and I enoy it far more. In staying with my natural personality as Peachy said.

 

That being said, it also has the potential to bring out the best parts of your personality as well, As per April Dawn and Peachy, who gained their self confidence not just in their professional lives but also their personal lives, to me that is a huge acheivement.

 

They didnt change who they are, because backrubman you're right, ultimately you cant change who you are. But they enhanced and brought out what was already there. Which is a positive. The negative aspect of that would be providing a service that wouldnt sit right on a personal level. Which in the end would backfire because what you're providing you arent enjoying, neither would the client...which defeats the entire purpose.

 

It brings us back time and time to indiviuality and personality, if it wasnt a factor, there wouldnt be so many varying types of services provided or being sought. And it takes all sorts of personalities to be able to provide and excel at these different types of services. Each as important, as the other.

 

Which was ultimately what the original thread was about (before I hijacked it! LOL) Was how much of what you provide/search for is based on your own personality traits for SP's and clients alike :)

 

I talk too much....lol :icon_eek:

 

Jade

 

Additional Comments:

Cat...:icon_biggrin: Exactly! Very well said. And far better than I could have.

 

Thank you

[tokan 16826]

What I was looking for initially was definitely someone with a sweet personality and someone who could put me at ease, as this was my first visit to a SP. I was also mainly looking for someone my own age and I'll admit that looks did play a part in my decision. But I would still say that as important as the physical attraction was, what sealed it for me was other members description of someone with a wonderful personality as well as a killer body. As well as reading the posts of particular ladies to gauge their personality for myself. But it also doesn't end there. I also wanted to meet someone that I had a few things in common with, so that definitely took some research to find out.

 

But what really drives me to want to see a particular person is how genuine they are or seem. I guess what I am trying to say, and please don't take this the wrong way anyone as I would hate to offend anyone, is that I would rather see someone who is just being themselves rather than seeing someone who was acting out a persona. I consider myself a fairly honest guy, I have never been very good at hiding my feelings or I guess you could say pretending to be someone I'm not. Although I will admit that Peachy has peaked my interest in role playing a bit, lol. But getting back, to me honesty is important and I honestly don't think that I could see someone who wasn't being themselves I guess.

 

As for girlfriend experience vs porn star experience I guess you could say that I would probably lean more towards the girlfriend experience as I tend to be more of a kinder gentler person myself rather than an aggressive person. I also enjoy the moments of tenderness like holding hands or stroking her hair, or even just talking. At the same time though I wouldn't mind trying out a number of different things, and don't mind if her wild side peaks it's head out, lol.

 

So I guess in closing I do kind of look for someone who will mesh with my personality, someone that does share some interests with me, someone that I can talk to, and just some one that I think I could have an enjoyable experience with.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Also as a Gentleman, how do you truly decide on an SP? And once again how much does personality (yours) factor in?

 

What draws you to a particular SP? your personality and what desires/needs you would like fulfilled? or their personality and what they provide to fulfill that desire/need? Or is it both? To find an SP that matches you more in personality than anything else?

 

Well... it varies. Useful, huh?

 

It's a combination of things. Since I've been here for a bit, and check in regularly, the personality of the ladies who post regularly is a big deal for me, and I'm somewhat biased towards them in any case as I feel that they're not complete strangers. I should say that I'm not counting the daily ad here - I use ads mostly just to find out practical details *after* I make a decision. Particularly inventive ads will get attention in the same way that good posts will, but in practice that doesn't make much difference as the two seem to be strongly correlated. Recos matter, but far more so for the ladies that don't post as I have no other means of evaluating personality apart from what other guys have said.

 

And then sometimes, all that goes out the window and the process can be boiled down to simply: "Nice ass. WANT!" And there's a time and place for that, too... pics aren't everything, but they do matter as well.

 

The one thing that *doesn't* make any difference in principle, for me at least, is services offered. If the person I want to see happens to be a MA, I'll be getting a massage. If she's an SP, I'll be getting whatever it is she offers, within whatever limits she works to. This hasn't always been the case (I dipped my toes into the water by seeing just MAs for a while), but it's how I work now.

 

Finally: I seem go through phases of wanting to meet new people, and wanting to revisit ones I've seen before. And I can't see anywhere close to as many ladies as I'd like as often as I'd like, so there are always people that I've never met but would like to, and others that I feel slightly guilty about not having seen for too long... but guess there are worse problems to have.