I just have to ask

[JoyfulC 132299]

I'm sure most of you don't do this, but at least once a week, someone will write and ask for the address of my web site. I'll send it. Then they get back, often complimenting on my site, and then ask what my rates are or what my phone number is.

 

::FACEPALM::

 

Why?

 

Why? Why? Why??

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Yes, happens often. Sometimes someone will contact me with a bunch of questions and when I direct them to my site they say never mind. Laziness?

[slyjohn 929]

No... we just love to text with you lovely ladies! ;)

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

It's surprising how many people don't harness the power of Google, if they know you and your one-line persona a simple Google search puts your website at the top of the list.

 

Probably not the most internet savvy, given that they had to email you to get your website address even though it's listed on your profile here, it comes as no surprise that they would write back to ask you a question clearly addressed on your website.

 

If there's any comfort in numbers, know that I'm asked the same thing often as well. Sometimes it's best to just smile and nod your head acceptingly:)

[Guest]

I have to add gentlemen please do not question what the ladies have on their websites.

 

If a lady does not talk about services on the phone and says to email her any questions please respect that. Even if you don't think it is right. This is the ladies right to have this as part of her protocol.

 

Also if a lady says that she is drug free and expects you to be drug free. Do not ask if it is okey to be high or to bring any kind of drug because likely it is not okey to that lady. Even if it is just this or just that to you.

 

If you have never meet a lady please do not expect that lady to work on her days off. This time is to ensure a lady is well rested. You have to take care of yourself to take care of others. There is exceptions to the rules but within reason.

 

When you start questioning a ladies protocols it shows that you do not respect what that lady has to say. It is not a way a gentlemen should act. Each escort is different from each other please remember that. We all do things in a way that we feel comfortable individually. Please keep that in mind when you read an escorts add or website .

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Also if a lady says that she is drug free and expects you to be drug free. Do not ask if it is okey to be high or to bring any kind of drug because likely it is not okey to that lady. Even if it is just this or just that to you.

 

With all the crazy drugs out there nowadays, I don`t blame SPs for having this policy. Especially with dem dere Epsom salts goin round!

[backrubman 64800]

I'm sure most of you don't do this, but at least once a week, someone will write and ask for the address of my web site. I'll send it. Then they get back, often complimenting on my site, and then ask what my rates are or what my phone number is.

Why? Why? Why??

 

To be quite frank (and as you know Christine my name is not Frank) :) I think it is a combination of laziness and also could often (but not always) be an early indicator that they only want to communicate but have no real intention (even if they don't know it them self) to commit to an actual appointment?

 

Oddly I heard from several ladies that communicating to talk about setting up an appointment (by whatever means) or heaven forbid actually setting one up they will never show up for is "enough" for some time wasting guys (I can't refer to them as gentlemen).

 

Your web site address is clearly on your profile and as sparse as your web site may be compared to some, anything and everything a potential client would need to know is clearly there.

 

Myself, I have a "policy" that I only contact the lady making such appointment related inquiries when I (A) Have a clear and present intention of booking an appointment, and (B) After all due diligence and research something I need to know just isn't there.

 

I fact, I think I fell victim to just what you are speaking of. The only time in my life I every called a lady I was very interested in meeting it was after doing all my research but her web site said Mon-Fri and I was just wondering if she would accept an all day Saturday appointment (guess it never hurts to ask) but she just politely referred me to her web site which I could have recited from memory and, no unfortunately doesn't ever work Saturdays so I thanked and and moved on and yes, did make a all day appointment with another nice lady for the following Saturday :)

 

I kind of felt I wasn't taken seriously as I'm sure if she had understood the assignment I had for her she would have decided to work overtime on Saturday :)

[Guest]

I fact, I think I fell victim to just what you are speaking of. The only time in my life I every called a lady I was very interested in meeting it was after doing all my research but her web site said Mon-Fri and I was just wondering if she would accept an all day Saturday appointment (guess it never hurts to ask) but she just politely referred me to her web site which I could have recited from memory and, no unfortunately doesn't ever work Saturdays so I thanked and and moved on and yes, did make a all day appointment with another nice lady for the following Saturday :)

 

I kind of felt I wasn't taken seriously as I'm sure if she had understood the assignment I had for her she would have decided to work overtime on Saturday :)

 

I think your intentions were in the right place but you have to think about how many times sp's get asked to work on their days of to only have people no show and not even bother to call. It doesn't feel good when you take time out of your day when you know you could have been doing something else. Especially on your day off. I don't think the gentlemen take us seriously when they expect us to drop our plans and work on our days off.

 

So I do not work on my days off if I do not know that person. They could promise to take me out all day long but simply I do not know if that person is reliable or not, until I meet them. I think that is a fair enough assessment. There is always exceptions to the rules, within reason. If I have never meet the gentleman sorry but that is not enough reason for me. I need to know the person first. Even if I have talked to that person first. I have had great emails and detailed information about gentlemen to have them not show up and it is quite upsetting.

 

I have worked on Saturdays and Sundays for reliable clients. Client who I previously meet. People that I don't have to worry about and it was great fun. It made my day off better as a matter of fact.

 

It seems like you found a better fit for yourself as you found someone who was available on the time you need. So job well done.

[Mikeyboy 27133]

I think in a lot of cases that it is simply their way of trying to start a conversation. They are asking questions that they already know the answers to in order to open the lines of communication. Unfortunately, while there may be some real interest with some of them, there are likely a lot of "tire kickers" and time wasters out there as well. In most cases, you are probably right to politely redirect them to your site for further information.

 

Personally, I always try to find as much info as I can before asking for more details. I've seen enough posts like this over the years to understand that your time is valuable; and that you post this info to avoid such questions. Unfortunately, not all of the guys have the benefit of the things I have learned from this site over the years.

[Guest Ve**Di**ySe**et]

I'm sure most of you don't do this, but at least once a week, someone will write and ask for the address of my web site. I'll send it. Then they get back, often complimenting on my site, and then ask what my rates are or what my phone number is.

 

::FACEPALM::

 

Why?

 

Why? Why? Why??

That's an easy one. People are stupid.

[DukeSSk 3430]

I'm sure most of you don't do this, but at least once a week, someone will write and ask for the address of my web site. I'll send it. Then they get back, often complimenting on my site, and then ask what my rates are or what my phone number is.

 

::FACEPALM::

 

Why?

 

Why? Why? Why??

 

Wow, unbelievable!! Either don't bother replying or just reply "Read website please".

[JoyfulC 132299]

I guess my concern with those who want us to communicate stuff like scheduling, terms of service, and most especially rates on a unique basis is that they can later claim that we didn't tell them something or they misunderstood.

 

Like most here, I put a lot of work into my web site ("sparse"?? BRM??? Really?? I have all my info, FAQ, blog, archives. What else should I have??). And I do it so that there's no question of my rates, policies, terms, etc.

 

I don't have many bad dates, but there was one, maybe 15-20 years ago now, who called me and emailed me numerous times. I did have a site and I did refer him to it, but he insisted I give him info by email and phone. He arrived. Stripped down quick and dove onto my massage table. ??? I'm not a stickler for payment up front, but something made me go hmmm. I asked him about paying me and he said, "oh! how much." Um. We'd discussed this. So I told him again. He said he didn't have that much. He tried to say I'd said less, and I offered to show him our email exchange. He tried to say he'd confused me with someone else. In short, he tried to haggle me down.

 

Normally, I wouldn't haggle, but here the dude was there, nakies on my massage table. We arrived at a price, and he flipped back over. ... My intuition was dinging like crazy, so I asked him to pay me up front. Again, not my norm. Reluctantly, he got up and hauled out his wallet. He opened it right under my nose, and there had to have been several hundred dollars in bills in there!

 

I realized I was being had. And wouldn't you know it! I suddenly got the most intense migraine ever. I couldn't, in good conscience, go through with the session. It wouldn't have been fair to him. I apologized for wasting his time and sent him on his way.

 

This is one of the few guys I have ever put on a bad date list.

 

These days, I'm seriously considering a pop quiz to ensure that people have familiarized themselves with the content of my web site before meeting. But really, with the overwhelming majority of people, it's not a problem. It's just a small minority that seem info challenged.

[rickoshadows 937]

As a group, most of us are familiar with the www. But there are still a surprising amount of people who do not use computers and have no interest in doing so. For us to try understand them is probably an impossoble task.

[JoyfulC 132299]

As a group, most of us are familiar with the www. But there are still a surprising amount of people who do not use computers and have no interest in doing so. For us to try understand them is probably an impossoble task.

 

That's true. But I only advertise online these days. If they found my ad, if they emailed me, even if they found my phone number, then they're familiar with the www.

[roamingguy 300292]

Probably some guys trying to start a email conversation with a lady they want to see, but find it hard to do so...their way of breaking the ice.

Or some guys just get off emailing escorts just in the hopes of getting an email back...kinda pathetic actually

RG

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Of course I fully understand why this rant has been posted again. I know it's frustrating for the providers.

 

One complicating factor is that just because a lady has her rates posted - doesn't mean she will stand behind those rates.

 

I have personally heard these two responses after I have arrived at the meeting, having assumed that the posted rates were valid:

 

1) "Oh, the rates I posted are out of date, I forgot to post my new increased rates"; and

 

2) "Oh, those rates are not inclusive of certain services, what you want will cost extra" ....

 

Both of these responses were followed by the admonishment: "you should have asked to make sure"!

 

So. A provider's own website may be kept spic-and-span and meticulously up-to-date, but the fact is that some just aren't. An inquiry is not always because the potential client can't read ... experience may have told him, as it has me, that you can't believe everything you do read.

 

So I feel that even if your rates are posted, there is still a reason for a guy to ask.

 

One way to ask, while cutting down on the likelihood of the provider instantly jumping to the conclusion that you haven't done your homework, is to phrase your inquiry something like: "Please confirm that I should put $xyz in the envelope".

[Carrie Moon 68826]

One complicating factor is that just because a lady has her rates posted - doesn't mean she will stand behind those rates.

 

I have personally heard these two responses after I have arrived at the meeting, having assumed that the posted rates were valid:

1) "Oh, the rates I posted are out of date, I forgot to post my new increased rates"; and

 

2) "Oh, those rates are not inclusive of certain services, what you want will cost extra" ....

Both of these responses were followed by the admonishment: "you should have asked to make sure"!

.

 

This kind of bs. is no better than what Christine was just describing from the client she had. She was much kinder to him than I've been known to be. I have walked guys out giving them quite the tongue lashing when they do this to me..

 

In your case however.. you would have been better off to fake a migraine too! I wouldn't hand my hard earned money over to a sneak.

[JoyfulC 132299]

One complicating factor is that just because a lady has her rates posted - doesn't mean she will stand behind those rates.

 

My understanding of the law here in Canada is that businesses are obligated to stand behind their posted rates unless they can do better.

 

That's why I don't want to put my rates out in a lot of places, such as various advertising forums or even emails (which, if someone is going to put a price in email, I think under law they need to put a date limit on it too, or they can be held to it).

 

Now, maybe no one will report us to the Competition Bureau or whatever is we play fast and loose with rates, but some of us believe in doing things the right way nevertheless.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

In the civilian world, 99.9% of contract disputes are settled by negotiation - no matter whether one party or the other might in theory be able to get a knock-out ruling by resorting to the legal system. Business is business and everyone benefits more in the long run by keeping things within business's practical, every-day mutual-solution framework. Theory doesn't put butter on anyone's table except the lawyers'.

 

Verifying that everyone is on the same page before the transaction comes down to the crunch is a win-win exercise. The overwhelming majority prefer to do things the right way, absolutely - and everything that either the provider or the client can do to further improve chances of avoiding an uncomfortable situation also enhances the percentage of mutually-satisfactory outcomes beyond the baseline percentage ... of how things would work out, on the average, if left to simple blind confidence in the good intentions of the majority. And improving the bottom-line is what we're aiming for.

[JoyfulC 132299]

In the real world, 99.9% of contract disputes are settled by negotiation - no matter whether one party or the other might in theory be able to get a knock-out ruling by resorting to the legal system. Business is business and everyone benefits more in the long run by keeping things within this practical, every-day mutual-solution framework. Theory doesn't put butter on anyone's table except the lawyers'.

 

Verifying that everyone is on the same page before the transaction comes down to the crunch is a win-win exercise. The overwhelming majority prefer to do things the right way, absolutely - and everything that either the provider or the client can do to further improve chances of avoiding an uncomfortable situation also enhances the percentage of mutually-satisfactory outcomes. Which is the bottom-line that we're all aiming for.

 

And that's exactly why I send them a direct link to my rates page, and if they still can't get it, I write them off.

 

I think there's more risk in putting out rates by email than having the customers look at where rates are publicly posted.

 

Additional Comments:

In the civilian world, 99.9% of contract disputes are settled by negotiation - no matter whether one party or the other might in theory be able to get a knock-out ruling by resorting to the legal system.

 

So are you suggesting that, if someone claims that they somehow perceived a lower rate, we should negotiate on that?

 

Sorry, but I don't like that idea at all. And I can see where it would be abused.

 

I post my rates. I stick to them. Either a guy likes my posted rates or he doesn't. But I don't much like the idea that I have an obligation to present them to him individually or that he can negotiate them.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

How you respond to my question is entirely up to you. If you say that your web-posted rate is current, that's just as good for me as getting a direct rate response via email. Either way, you're making an assertion that you're going to stand behind a specific rate.

 

And my goal in asking the question in the first place is, as I've said, precisely that - to verify what your current rate is.

 

Additional comments:

 

You will very kindly not put words in my mouth, Christine. You brought up the legal framework - I pointed out that it doesn't practically apply even in the civilian world. Nothing more, nothing less. This has absolutely nothing to do with negotiating rates. This has everything to do with taking the precaution of verifying what a service provider's rates are, and therefore potentially avoiding an uncomfortable situation if her website rates are not current, but are blindly assumed by the potential client to be the correct ones.

[JoyfulC 132299]

How you respond to my question is entirely up to you - either way, you're making an assertion that you're going to stand behind a specific rate. If you say that your web-posted rate is current, that's just as good for me as getting a direct response via email.

 

And my goal in asking the question in the first place is, as I've said, precisely that - to verify what your current rate is.

 

But you're missing the point that they're not asking whether my web posted rate is current. They're asking what my rate is, as if they have no clue.

 

If someone were to ask me if my posted rate was current, or even if my posted phone number were current, I'd have no problem with that.

 

I have a problem with guys asking what my rates, contact info is who have been to my site and obviously didn't bother to look at the info there.

 

Additional Comments:

You will very kindly not put words in my mouth, Christine. You brought up the legal framework - I pointed out that it doesn't practically apply even in the civilian world. Nothing more, nothing less. This has absolutely nothing to do with negotiating rates. This has everything to do with taking the precaution of verifying what a service provider's rates are, and therefore potentially avoiding an uncomfortable situation if her website rates are not current, but are blindly assumed by the potential client to be the correct ones.

 

Sorry, but you were the one who brought up the issue that posted rates might be out-dated and thus negotiable. Who knows? Perhaps some are. I can only say for myself that I will legally abide by my posted rates. Who knows what freak world you live in.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

No, you're putting words into my mouth again, Christine. I did point out that not all posted rates are current. That's a fact in my directly-lived experience of the Cerb world - not a "freak world". I gave two specific examples in my earlier post.

 

I did not, however, state that rates are negotiable. You asked that question, before - and I answered it before. The fact that not all posted rates are current does not imply that rates are considered negotiable. I ask you to please accept my answer, as I previously stated it. This answer was, and remains, consistent with everthing I've posted on this thread, and everything I've posted elsewhere on Cerb.

 

I did not miss your point, as you can see by reading my first post in this thread. I acknowledged your point, and provided advice to clients about how to word their inquiries so as both to deal with the complicating factor of outdated posted rates, while at the same time avoiding the perception that they didn't do their homework. It's an approach that works for me - I haven't been tripped-up by outdated rates since I took this approach, and the providers haven't dismissed me as a time-waster, either. My contribution to this thread was intended to encourage mutual understanding, and to share a way of helping transactions run smoothly. I'm not sure how it could be perceived otherwise.

[JoyfulC 132299]

Augh! Whatever, Wrinkled. I didn't post this to complain about guys asking if my posted rates are current, all-inclusive or if there are any additional charges. I get those questions every day, and I have no problem with them whatsoever.

 

I posted this because so many people ask for my URL, then come back, tell me I have a nice site, and then proceed to ask me what my rates are, what my phone number is, what hours I work, etc. It's very frustrating.

 

I'm of the opinion of some here, that some people are just plain stupid. They look at the pictures, and assume that we'll be only too happy to hold their hand and walk them through the process of setting up an appointment (because, after all, we've got nothing better to do, right?). And if there are any "misunderstandings," we'll take the fall on them.

 

No, sorry! Not for me.

 

And Wrinkled, I'm very sorry for you if you've had the unpleasant experience of dealing with unprofessional providers. I would suggest that, the next time you encounter someone who tells you that her posted rates aren't current or who tries to hit you up for more money, you turn on your heel and walk out. If more customers did that, fewer SPs would dare to try it. It is the SP's responsibility to make her terms clear prior to setting the appointment. If someone directs you to a rate sheet that isn't current, then she's screwed up and you're not obligated to pay more. If she doesn't want to provide service at the rates posted on her site, then I guess you've both wasted your time.

[Cara Silver 32412]

Sorry, but you were the one who brought up the issue that posted rates might be out-dated and thus negotiable. Who knows? Perhaps some are. I can only say for myself that I will legally abide by my posted rates. Who knows what freak world you live in.

 

 

He didn't say anything about negotiating. He mentioned that he always asks to verify. Simply asking if the rate is current does not necessarily mean that his second question will be, 'can I pay less?'

 

Asking someone if they live in a freak world because they want to make sure they're paying you exactly what you ask is not the same as negotiating. And knowing WIT as well as I do (many other ladies know him well too), I would add that he's incredibly respectful.

 

I know I would be horrified if I showed up for a service with too little money. If I ask beforehand, 'so it is such and such amount, right?', does not mean I'm hinting at a discount. It means I'm trying to avoid embarrassment.