Negotiating Rates = NO NO

[aubreyxxx 20240]

I knwo there have been several topics on this discussion but that brings me to the point on the topic. Why do you guys still ask to negotiate rates/services/guidelines

 

For the last couple months I have had a member continue to make apointments with me and break them because he is ''nervous'' I explained to him that although I understand that this being his first time and nerves can be a factor, my time is valued and short notice cancelling is kind of an insult after the third time. I have to take some responsibility on this as well for giving him so many chances. But needless to say it is still not nice etiquette.

Last night we were finally going to meet up for the last night on my special pricing. Than he wasn't able to meet my simple requirement of phoning to confirm the appointment because he doesn't want to use the cell phone his girlfriend and him share. I know we live in a world of high tech cell phone use but tehre are still pay phones in the area where I live that are able to be used.

Than he told me that he would still come see me and pay my asking price but ONLY IF from the moment he got here til our hour is up that I ''suck his dick from start to finish even if he cums'' That right there to me was the end of my niceness. I explained to him that I am not a hoover and that is not how I operate my services. Than he tried to ask if instead of that option could he just pay me 100 dollars since he would HAVE TO take a cab to my place and back and thats going to cost money, and also would it be extra if he took a nother girl with him.

Than I simply explained that I don't think I am the right girl for what he is looking for. And he send back a simple reply that says ''Ok :S" I guess that is supposed to be a confused face. What confuses me is how he is so confused? I have told him since we started communicating that I WILL NOT negotiate my rates nor will I accomodate his ridiclious requests just because he has to pay to make it to my location. I explained I am not in need for his money and I deserve what I ask for.

I just don't get why after being told so many different times does he continue to ask such silly stupid questions! The most insulting thing is when he TELLS ME that he will pay me my requested amount but only if I do what he says for the hour. This is obvious not the type of client I want to deal with and I am glad in a way that he presented himself like this to avoid the awkwardness of dealing with this face to face but I find it extremely insulting that he seems to think because he is paying for me that I do what he wants or no deal....

 

Geez oh geez..

[DukeSSk 3430]

That's really unfortunate :(

 

Ya, good thing that you didn't see him face-to-face. It's his problem if he can't take the time and make the effort to approach this hobby well-prepared and well-informed.

 

Just forget about this clown and move on :)

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Save the other SP's time by putting him on the bad date list!

[cometman 35115]

Lol...Aubrey, you have the patience of an angel. That's a tough type of client and really not worth the aggravation at all.

[MightyPen 67414]

I think a lot of people have very complicated relationships with their own sexuality, and unfortunately as SPs you get to experience some of that first-hand -- even when it comes to something as simple as booking the appointment and setting its parameters.

 

Consider the guy in question, who has a girlfriend but also a compulsive desire to have a sexual experience outside that relationship. You'd hope that he'd deal with that tension on his own and leave you out of it, and only contact you once he'd committed to a decision. Instead he's contacted you several times while in the middle of deciding, and so you're getting drawn into his own conflicted sexual desires.

 

The whole "suck for an hour" thing must have come while he was at a high point on his desire curve; that's the kind of one-dimensional, cartoon-y experience he has in his mind that drives his craving for an appointment, and no doubt occupies his mind when he's... well... you know... taking care of business by himself.

 

But like all cartoon fantasies that seem like great ideas in the throes of arousal, it only takes an orgasm plus 30 seconds to douse the whole thing in cold water and reveal its root silliness. Or maybe it's just being on the verge of actually taking the dive and the real risk of acting out a fantasy, to make someone who's conflicted stop at the last minute, panic, and back out.

 

I'm sure even the healthiest of people can be conflicted about visiting *some* parts of their personal sexual map. So it's unfortunately not surprising to me that clients' interactions with SPs reflect that confusion, that feeling of yes-yes-yes-no!, that people can feel about sexual fantasies and the simple role of sexual curiosity in their own lives. I think people are subject to that confusion much more about things that are sexual than anything else.

 

And finally when it comes to stuff like "you must do what I say! I'm paying!" or "can I get your company for a discount?", that's just power games and gawd *knows* those pollute sexual relationships all the time.

 

Sorry you had to go through this, and that you're bound to go through this again with others. Anyone selling anything to the public experiences *some* of this, but I think a lot of it is a unique hazard built into this specific territory; it reflects people's special capacity for weirdness, confusion, and conflict when it comes to acting on their own sexual desires and fantasies.

[aubreyxxx 20240]

I kind of wrote this in a rant and also hope he see's it lol

 

I sent him a link on the last msg regarding a thread about proper etiquette when contacting an SP

 

Thanks so much for your input gentlemen it is very much appreciated :)

 

xoxoxoxo

Aubrey

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

There's such a variety of excuses that this fellow came up with, that he may have just been stringing you along - while he got his jollies through just the exciting idea of dealing with a service provider. He may never have had intentions of ever becoming an actual client in the first place. If you instead had agreed to his "final" request, you may well have found that there'd have been yet another supposed problem or issue that he'd raise right on its heels, and so on and so on - as long as he kept you twisting on the hook and himself amused by his game.

 

It's impossible to know for sure if this was the case, of course.

[fortunateone 156618]

There's such a variety of excuses that this fellow came up with, that he may have just been stringing you along - while he got his jollies through just the exciting idea of dealing with a service provider. He may never have had intentions of ever becoming an actual client in the first place. If you instead had agreed to his "final" request, you may well have found that there'd have been yet another supposed problem or issue that he'd raise right on its heels, and so on and so on - as long as he kept you twisting on the hook and himself amused by his game.

 

It's impossible to know for sure if this was the case, of course.

 

 

Yes, I would be surprised if there is ever a time he is truly ready. For one thing, has he ever spoken directly with you, aubrey? Is it all via email and pms? Are we sure he is a real boy, in other words, or someone attempting to mess with your schedule for reasons of their own?

 

After many years, I still get the same phone#s showing up from people who have never either booked or showed for appts with me. I have probably 30 (the limit on my blocking) blocked from reaching me ever.

 

But their MO is just like this one, once they figure out that they are on 3 strikes, they commit. But they will ask for something ridiculous, that will result in you saying no so they can then start it all over again because it wasnt' them who no showed or canceled, it was you.

 

For some I answered the phone with a short statement like "so are you calling to make that appt now? No? Ok, call me back when you are." pause while they try to ask something "No, I've given you that many times, it hasn't changed. bye now"

[aubreyxxx 20240]

There's such a variety of excuses that this fellow came up with, that he may have just been stringing you along - while he got his jollies through just the exciting idea of dealing with a service provider. He may never have had intentions of ever becoming an actual client in the first place. If you instead had agreed to his "final" request, you may well have found that there'd have been yet another supposed problem or issue that he'd raise right on its heels, and so on and so on - as long as he kept you twisting on the hook and himself amused by his game.

 

It's impossible to know for sure if this was the case, of course.

 

In response to what you wrote here I was wondering the exact same thing. Sometimes it really seems that a select few of these men just get excited that they are even communicating with a service provider. I should've agreed to the final request just for shits*n*giggles but I would probably still be sitting at the ''negotiating table'' lol

 

Thanks hun

xoxoxoxo

Aubrey

[roamingguy 300292]

A lady's rates are a lady's rates. And the lady is being compensated for her time and companionship. Just because you are paying a lady doesn't mean you own her for the time you are seeing her. This is supposed to be a mutually beneficial encounter, from what is described there is no benefit for a lady to see this guy, no matter how much she is paid. So the poor guy has to take a a cab (said sarcastically btw) why is that your concern? Has a shared cell phone? Good god man, buy a cheap pay as you go throwaway cellphone.

This is a lifestyle for those who can afford it, not for those who live by nickel and diming everyone and anyone

The only mistake you made Aubrey, and said respectfully, is letting the communication carry on as long as you did

But as Mighty Finn suggests, put him on the bad date list. At least other ladies will be forewarned about him

Sorry you had to deal with this jerk

RG

[Lowdark 5613]

It seems the only thing he may have been interested in was wasting your time. No excuse for this kind of behaviour. He disrespected you, wasted your time and doesn't deserve the privilege of your company. You shouldn't spare him a second thought.

[Guest ott********44]

One more perspective. There are men out here who use CERB for a little action on the side. Away from the girlfriend, away from the wife.

 

But there are also men out here who have no action whatsoever and have difficulty finding it on their own. eg. frequenting bars to "pick up". CERB is an option to fulfill physical needs that they have like everyone else.

 

For those who "pick up" successfully, there can be a feeling of control or a feeling of accomplishing something. Those who don't have the luxury of this feeling, seeing an SP does nothing for them in that regard. The whole exercise, while satisfying their physical needs, is largely transactional and does nothing to satisfy their pride as a man. In fact it can reinforce their feelings of inadequacy.

 

The negotiation may simply reflect a need for some of these men to feel that they are exercising some sort of control and/or gaining some sort of victory through their interaction with a female. This is something they don't get to experience in everyday life.

 

For what it's worth.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

In response to what you wrote here I was wondering the exact same thing. Sometimes it really seems that a select few of these men just get excited that they are even communicating with a service provider. I should've agreed to the final request just for shits*n*giggles but I would probably still be sitting at the ''negotiating table'' lol

 

Thanks hun

xoxoxoxo

Aubrey

I won't comment on everything you posted (I have nothing nice to say about what he did or how he acted) but I will mostly just address the multiple cancellation issue.

 

When a gentleman has to cancel our rendez-vous and I do not mean 'no show', I will always be happy to give him a second chance because, as we all know, life happens to all of us. If that same gentleman cancels on me a second time, this is when a decision has to be made: I can either decide to never 'book' with him again or I can take a pro-active approach to protect myself/time/business:

 

- You can require your full donation in advance to confirm his rendez-vous- no deposit or full payment in advance (non-refundable no matter what) equals NO rendez-vous. Plain and simple. You are running a business and not a free for all circus.

 

- You can also go as far as asking for a cancellation fee for the previous encounters cancelled on top of the deposit/full advance payment. It is not something I do but I know of ladies who proceed this way.

 

In general, if and I say IF I decide to give a third chance to a gentleman who has already cancelled on me twice, I always ask for my full donation in advance (sent via e-mail transfer at the time of confirmation). If that gentleman is serious about spending time with me, he will send that deposit/payment. If he's unsure about the fact that he can show up or not, he will decline and never bother me again. In the end, every one is happy! :)

[Guest Ve**Di**ySe**et]

I knwo there have been several topics on this discussion but that brings me to the point on the topic. Why do you guys still ask to negotiate rates/services/guidelines

 

For the last couple months I have had a member continue to make apointments with me and break them because he is ''nervous'' I explained to him that although I understand that this being his first time and nerves can be a factor, my time is valued and short notice cancelling is kind of an insult after the third time. I have to take some responsibility on this as well for giving him so many chances. But needless to say it is still not nice etiquette.

Last night we were finally going to meet up for the last night on my special pricing. Than he wasn't able to meet my simple requirement of phoning to confirm the appointment because he doesn't want to use the cell phone his girlfriend and him share. I know we live in a world of high tech cell phone use but tehre are still pay phones in the area where I live that are able to be used.

Than he told me that he would still come see me and pay my asking price but ONLY IF from the moment he got here til our hour is up that I ''suck his dick from start to finish even if he cums'' That right there to me was the end of my niceness. I explained to him that I am not a hoover and that is not how I operate my services. Than he tried to ask if instead of that option could he just pay me 100 dollars since he would HAVE TO take a cab to my place and back and thats going to cost money, and also would it be extra if he took a nother girl with him.

Than I simply explained that I don't think I am the right girl for what he is looking for. And he send back a simple reply that says ''Ok :S" I guess that is supposed to be a confused face. What confuses me is how he is so confused? I have told him since we started communicating that I WILL NOT negotiate my rates nor will I accomodate his ridiclious requests just because he has to pay to make it to my location. I explained I am not in need for his money and I deserve what I ask for.

I just don't get why after being told so many different times does he continue to ask such silly stupid questions! The most insulting thing is when he TELLS ME that he will pay me my requested amount but only if I do what he says for the hour. This is obvious not the type of client I want to deal with and I am glad in a way that he presented himself like this to avoid the awkwardness of dealing with this face to face but I find it extremely insulting that he seems to think because he is paying for me that I do what he wants or no deal....

 

Geez oh geez..

I agree, a Hobbyist should their SP...negotiating rates is quite classless!!!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

For me, it's quite simple, if you attempt to negotiate, I won't see you. Now or in the future!

[LeeRichards 177238]

For me, it's quite simple, if you attempt to negotiate, I won't see you. Now or in the future!

 

Well that is straightforward and simple ! I like simple.

 

 

Set a donation ladies.....pay the donation fellas and have fun .....or look elsewhere.

 

 

Speaking of negotiating a little jokesie for ya

 

This how us Prairie Grain Farmers negotiate ;)

 

 

 

 

Three escorts were talking.

 

The first one said "I had a Fireman last night".

 

The second one asked how she knew he was a fireman, and the first one replied "I saw his badge."

 

The second escort said "Well I had a policeman". The first one asked how she knew he was a policeman. The second escort replied "I saw his gun."

 

The third escort then joined in and said "Well I had a farmer last night".

 

The other two replied "How do you know he was a farmer"?

 

The third escort replied "First he said it cost too much, then he said that it was too dry, then he said it was too wet, and when we were through he asked if I had any free hats!!

[roamingguy 300292]

The only time I question rates is not to negotiate, but to confirm the rate.

I've booked an encounter where a certain rate is set, but due to life happens circumstances (sometimes mine, sometimes the lady's), the date of the encounter has been changed, and her rate at the time of the new date changed. I just want to confirm the right rate for our encounter, that is all

But I never negotiate, the lady's rate is the lady's rate

RG

[aubreyxxx 20240]

I won't comment on everything you posted (I have nothing nice to say about what he did or how he acted) but I will mostly just address the multiple cancellation issue.

 

When a gentleman has to cancel our rendez-vous and I do not mean 'no show', I will always be happy to give him a second chance because, as we all know, life happens to all of us. If that same gentleman cancels on me a second time, this is when a decision has to be made: I can either decide to never 'book' with him again or I can take a pro-active approach to protect myself/time/business:

 

- You can require your full donation in advance to confirm his rendez-vous- no deposit or full payment in advance (non-refundable no matter what) equals NO rendez-vous. Plain and simple. You are running a business and not a free for all circus.

 

- You can also go as far as asking for a cancellation fee for the previous encounters cancelled on top of the deposit/full advance payment. It is not something I do but I know of ladies who proceed this way.

 

In general, if and I say IF I decide to give a third chance to a gentleman who has already cancelled on me twice, I always ask for my full donation in advance (sent via e-mail transfer at the time of confirmation). If that gentleman is serious about spending time with me, he will send that deposit/payment. If he's unsure about the fact that he can show up or not, he will decline and never bother me again. In the end, every one is happy! :)

 

 

Thank you for your input on how you deal with men who cancel on a regular basis. The reason I put up with it a lot at first is because when I first started out ( as an independent ) he was one of the first people who I comminucated with and with the first couple of cancellations I wasn't quite sure on how I should handle this.

Now that I've become a little more aware of how this business should work FOR ME and I've set my boundaries and limits. I present myself in a certain manner so that I receive certain types of clients that I am comfortable in seeing. I told him that what he was interested in seemed more in the way of a streetwalker is what vibe I was getting and as someone had said in a previous post I am not just offering a service I am offering my time and companionship. So I had given him some other ladies who I know in the area who would be willing to address to his requested needs. He still wasn't interested in that. In all honesty I don't think he ever had any intention on meeting now that I think back on the things we have discussed. A simple phone call for confirmation is not too much to ask for. Bur I guess if someone is going to bitch about a cab fare, a quarter for a pay phone seems like an adequate reason to complain as well ;)

[Guest]

Honestly , you are a beautiful woman , and from what I can tell you have an amazing personality. A man or woman would be lucky to get the opportunity to spend some time with you. That being said, they should be respectful to you and your feelings and the boundaries you have set for yourself. By someone continuously pressuring you to lower rates, it shows they clearly dont respect you and if someone cant respect you, they shouldnt have the privelage to spend time with you.

 

If someone pressures me for ANYTHING at all, I usually wont see them and will let them know that. Usually it can be settled at that but to those folks who get "rowdy" just proves you have done the right thing choosing not to see this unreasonable person.

[aimtoplease1 1839]

One more perspective. There are men out here who use CERB for a little action on the side. Away from the girlfriend, away from the wife.

 

But there are also men out here who have no action whatsoever and have difficulty finding it on their own. eg. frequenting bars to "pick up". CERB is an option to fulfill physical needs that they have like everyone else.

 

For those who "pick up" successfully, there can be a feeling of control or a feeling of accomplishing something. Those who don't have the luxury of this feeling, seeing an SP does nothing for them in that regard. The whole exercise, while satisfying their physical needs, is largely transactional and does nothing to satisfy their pride as a man. In fact it can reinforce their feelings of inadequacy.

 

The negotiation may simply reflect a need for some of these men to feel that they are exercising some sort of control and/or gaining some sort of victory through their interaction with a female. This is something they don't get to experience in everyday life.

 

For what it's worth.

I think that's what it is for some guys. Personally I don't negotiate. I do ask the rate because some ladies change their rates on a regular basis. One thing that would make things easier is when you put a special on, let the client know in advance if he's going to get the same service as he would if there was no special. There's one lady in particular that I won't mention...changes her rates daily but the service she offers changes without notice...needless to say...I don't bother anymore.

[stevecurious 42059]

Aubrey I read your thread for the first time last evening and I have re-read it a few times since so I could let it all soak in sort of speak. While I have attempted to understand what in the hell this guy was thinking my admittedly overheated mind just can not wrap itself around this notion of (A) negotiating (B) cancelling and © dicking around in such a manner. To say I am confused is an understatement, in fact you might as well start referring to me as steveCONFUSED if this BS is to taken as good dating practice.

 

I would say that it is fairly clear (thus far) as to where I stand in regards to his behavior. That said I will attempt to add my voice to the growing chorus of people, SP and Hobbyist alike, who have commented and no doubt will continue to comment.

 

I will begin by addressing the idea of negotiating at least from this mans perspective. Why, why, why do people insist on attempting this? It is crude, unprofessional, low brow and is just downright insulting! I mean do we go to the grocery store and as the cashier if she will sell the milk for two dollars instead of four? NOPE! When was the last time you went to the dentist and after insurance picked up there 80% you offered to pay the clerk for only 10 of the remaining 20% because "you are such a good patient?" After you were laughed at I imagine the bill would be settled, no?

 

Cancelling can be a tricky and dicey topic best summed up by saying legitimate reasons for cancelling exist! We are all human and therefore understanding of life and we have all heard the expression shit happens. This does not give anyone the right to abuse or exploit someones understanding and forgiveness of real life getting in the way of playtime however. Ask yourself this question, if I had an appointment with my dentist and I didn't show up for it what would happen? What would happen if this happened again and again? Would I be charged and eventually asked to go away? Same thing as cancelling/no showing on your SP. Guys we compare notes on the ladies, what the makes you think they don't chat about us? The world is small and word gets around...keep that behavior up and you may never get laid again (at least not from a woman on this board)

 

 

As far as dicking around is concerned, see above paragraph.

 

So Aubrey and the rest of Cerb those are my thoughts such as they are. Please keep in mind that Prince Edward Island is far too small to be pissing of one of the few local ladies that we have. Oh, and don't think for one minute that this is contained to the local population of SP's, this is happening to local and travelling lady alike so keep this thread in mind the next time YOU need an itch scratched and there aren't any ladies to meet with you!

[aubreyxxx 20240]

Aubrey I read your thread for the first time last evening and I have re-read it a few times since so I could let it all soak in sort of speak. While I have attempted to understand what in the hell this guy was thinking my admittedly overheated mind just can not wrap itself around this notion of (A) negotiating (B) cancelling and © dicking around in such a manner. To say I am confused is an understatement, in fact you might as well start referring to me as steveCONFUSED if this BS is to taken as good dating practice.

 

I would say that it is fairly clear (thus far) as to where I stand in regards to his behavior. That said I will attempt to add my voice to the growing chorus of people, SP and Hobbyist alike, who have commented and no doubt will continue to comment.

 

I will begin by addressing the idea of negotiating at least from this mans perspective. Why, why, why do people insist on attempting this? It is crude, unprofessional, low brow and is just downright insulting! I mean do we go to the grocery store and as the cashier if she will sell the milk for two dollars instead of four? NOPE! When was the last time you went to the dentist and after insurance picked up there 80% you offered to pay the clerk for only 10 of the remaining 20% because "you are such a good patient?" After you were laughed at I imagine the bill would be settled, no?

 

Cancelling can be a tricky and dicey topic best summed up by saying legitimate reasons for cancelling exist! We are all human and therefore understanding of life and we have all heard the expression shit happens. This does not give anyone the right to abuse or exploit someones understanding and forgiveness of real life getting in the way of playtime however. Ask yourself this question, if I had an appointment with my dentist and I didn't show up for it what would happen? What would happen if this happened again and again? Would I be charged and eventually asked to go away? Same thing as cancelling/no showing on your SP. Guys we compare notes on the ladies, what the makes you think they don't chat about us? The world is small and word gets around...keep that behavior up and you may never get laid again (at least not from a woman on this board)

 

 

As far as dicking around is concerned, see above paragraph.

 

So Aubrey and the rest of Cerb those are my thoughts such as they are. Please keep in mind that Prince Edward Island is far too small to be pissing of one of the few local ladies that we have. Oh, and don't think for one minute that this is contained to the local population of SP's, this is happening to local and travelling lady alike so keep this thread in mind the next time YOU need an itch scratched and there aren't any ladies to meet with you!

 

 

I love how you word things hahahaha

 

Thank you so much for your in-depth reply to my rant :) And you are right, Prince Edward island is a very small island especially for the type of business I am involved in. This client seemed to know this as well considering one of the times he had canceled on me he had used to excuse that he was scared that someone would know who he is while getting dropped off (by cab remember lol) to my house. It's not like I have a flashing neon sign that says ''AUBREY SP IN-CALL LOCATION HERE" anyways thanks again for your input handsome. along with the rest of the cerbies it's reassuring to feel like I wasn't being a complete bitch in my decision to draw the line somewhere.

 

xoxoxoxoxo

Aubrey

[parkershellby45 678]

Lol...Aubrey, you have the patience of an angel. That's a tough type of client and really not worth the aggravation at all.

 

The patience of an angel and the skills of a Demon, total package.

[stevecurious 42059]

along with the rest of the cerbies it's reassuring to feel like I wasn't being a complete bitch in my decision to draw the line somewhere.

 

Venting...yes, which is understandable.

 

Ranting...maybe, but we have all done it.

 

Complete bitch...NEVER!

 

As you said the line needed to be drawn and you shouldn't feel any remorse for the way you handled the situation.

[Amelia Fox 9064]

I kind of wrote this in a rant and also hope he see's it lol

 

I sent him a link on the last msg regarding a thread about proper etiquette when contacting an SP

 

Thanks so much for your input gentlemen it is very much appreciated :)

 

xoxoxoxo

Aubrey

 

 

Seems you were very professioanl and in my case I would not see him!