Do You Believe In Love?

[Motorbykerider 4754]

Do I believe in love? Sure. I love my wife. I love my kids and my friends, I even love my motorcycle.

 

Am I in love? Nope.

[nntsci 11076]

Every time I meet one of the ladies on CERB I am in love!

Indeed. I fall in love every time I share an intimate experience with a lady.

 

There is nothing more beautiful than the face of a woman just after penetration. Something about the combination of beauty, vulnerability, sensuality, trust, anticipation, and excitement.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Love is similar to asking someone if they're happy. Both are very fleeting and elusive just like the initial feelings of "falling in love". That honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Love is something that is earned over time like respect. It's easy to think you're in love or that you believe in it but it happens with time and it's a give and take thing. I can't say I believe in it so much anymore.

 

It can be easy to love someone but love that transcends over time is built on so many other factors such as trust, committment, loyalty to the relationship and not just the other person, A LOT of compromising and being able to take personal responsibility while admitting your actions and wrong doings in the worst of times. The biggest thing is respect. Once that is gone, it all goes to shit. Love is fostered by give and take.

 

I still stand by what I said last year in this thread but I'm recently single and woke up a few days ago and ended a relationship. Via text. That says it all! Looking back, I feel foolish for having invested in it now that I know the outcome but like I said before, you will always take something from a failed relationship and hopefully learn from it. In some ways, it gave me a lot of other things I was missing in my life at the time and for that I can feel grateful. However, love is blind. Not feeling the love at this moment.

[Guest webothscore]

Somehow I feel as if a "believe in it or not" isn't a right fit for the word love. In my opinion, it does exist, but how 6 billion people define love is what matters. So many factors have molded each and everyone one of us to define love. How many times have we heard "God I wish I met her years from now because I know she is the one but I am not ready to commit"? Well tough, that's when love found you, so make a choice, put all your love in it for her or keep doing what you want now and hope another form of love finds you later. As we get older we get more set in our ways, and since many of us know how much sacrifice, work and compromise it takes to fulfill a lasting relationship, it seems even harder as our time on this earth diminishes. We want to do more and more things for ourselves to fulfill this so called bucket list, myself included. Personally, I think the idea of love is actually not rocket science, but, to make a huge choice at a critical part in life, well that's a super tough nut to crack, and that's why in my opinion love will be the most debated word now and always, but maybe for humanity, this is a good thing.

[nntsci 11076]

Love is similar to asking someone if they're happy. Both are very fleeting and elusive just like the initial feelings of "falling in love". That honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Love is something that is earned over time like respect. It's easy to think you're in love or that you believe in it but it happens with time and it's a give and take thing. I can't say I believe in it so much anymore.

 

It can be easy to love someone but love that transcends over time is built on so many other factors such as trust, committment, loyalty to the relationship and not just the other person, A LOT of compromising and being able to take personal responsibility while admitting your actions and wrong doings in the worst of times. The biggest thing is respect. Once that is gone, it all goes to shit. Love is fostered by give and take.

 

I still stand by what I said last year in this thread but I'm recently single and woke up a few days ago and ended a relationship. Via text. That says it all! Looking back, I feel foolish for having invested in it now that I know the outcome but like I said before, you will always take something from a failed relationship and hopefully learn from it. In some ways, it gave me a lot of other things I was missing in my life at the time and for that I can feel grateful. However, love is blind. Not feeling the love at this moment.

I think the problem with the word love is that we used that same word to mean so many different things. People say non-sense like love is never having to say you are sorry... that's just nuts. People say, that love is unconditional, but that's often just simply not true and frankly loving someone no matter what is just nuts. In my opinion, "Love" is a bonding instinct works through the limbic system, and that bond is actually pretty stupid. Its similar to an addiction. The limbic system is controls desires, but is a pretty stupid system that can easily get hooked on dysfunctional behaviors (drugs, alcohol, excessive gambling etc.). Love is however very important for survival.

 

Love for example of a child is a bonding instinct that has very little to do with their behavior. A child has to be pretty awful for a parent who loves him/her for the parent to seriously waver in that feeling towards their brats... Good thing too because if that wasn't the case then many young children wouldn't survive past their 2nd birthday... and those that do, wouldn't make it past adolescence. Love of a child can be virtually unconditional when the parent is well bonded to their child.

 

Children can also be strongly instinctually bonded to their parents, but it is not necessarily as strong, and may well not be unconditional. Any parents who has had a teenager will come to hear statements such as "you're ruining my life". But the good parents will still welcome the wayward child back home etc. and the children will move past that stage and come to love their parents with more affection (well that's been my experience with my kids anyway).

 

Romantic love sometimes comes in a similar strength to parent/child bonding and is from time to time irrationally nutty. It can be unconditional, but it sad when its not mutually of that strength. As with the parent child bond romantic love was important for survival during our hunter gatherer days -- at least until at least one of the kids reaches the age of 7 -- an age at which the child has the strength and intelligence to survive and help out his or her mother survive. I often wondered if that's the origin of the 7 year itch phenomenon. Coincidence? Its not as crucial to survival anymore but we are all powerfully motivated to seek out that romantic love. Also that romantic bond is often not mutual and in my opinion its the same bond -- the same limbic system links -- whether is mutual or not. This is because unrequited love has many of the same characteristics as mutual pair bonding... without the mutual bit.

 

Friendship love, if you call it love, is rational, and based on how they act. Its in my opinion one of the most beautiful interpersonal relationships when its respected equally by both, but its NOT really unconditional. That is a friend that betrays ones trust could very well end that relationship.

 

Romantic love and friendship often do coincide. That is the person who one loves as a romantic partner is also, hopefully, someone who you like as a friend. I'm not really sure if I love my wife, but I like her... were friends... and in a sense that's probably more important for why we are still together.

 

Then there is admiration -- not a friendship per se -- but admiring someone of high status, or great importance. We use that same word again, love, to describe a great writer or philosopher or politician or performer of some kinds that we admire. Is that love? Its not typically unconditional because if the admired person proves unworthy, that love will disappear pretty quickly.

 

Then there is the love of pets. That's probably the same as bonding with ones children, but I'm not entirely convinced by that. When my pet fish die... its not a particularly traumatic experience, but perhaps for dogs or cats, that bond is stronger.

 

Calling all these things love can makes talking about relationships very confusing, and its important to specific what one is actually talking about.

[Freddyx 120]

Lucky is thw man who with the passing of time continues to lust after the woman that he loves !

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I believe in love but to have it last a lifetime it needs to grow. The love you experience at the start of a relationship is full of lust and infatuation which we think is love. Over time and with work and respect it can become a bond that gets strengthened over the years and if you're lucky you build a bond that says in your old age "I want to go first because the thought of living without you is too much to bear". That's the kind of love I want.

 

Of course one of the most important foundations to build that with is commitment to see through the rough patches. It's also important to choose well, with your head and your heart, not just your heart. Whirlwind romances based on lust rarely last, in my opinion. Compatibility is also important in terms of your "must haves". Some people think they need partner compatibility at 90% of everything to make it work whereas it's better to have 25% overall compatibility that covers those few things that are most important to you. The trouble is many of us don't know what those key things are until it's too late.

[Frank7 3939]

I believe in love but to have it last a lifetime it needs to grow. The love you experience at the start of a relationship is full of lust and infatuation which we think is love. Over time and with work and respect it can become a bond that gets strengthened over the years and if you're lucky you build a bond that says in your old age "I want to go first because the thought of living without you is too much to bear". That's the kind of love I want.

 

Of course one of the most important foundations to build that with is commitment to see through the rough patches. It's also important to choose well, with your head and your heart, not just your heart. Whirlwind romances based on lust rarely last, in my opinion. Compatibility is also important in terms of your "must haves". Some people think they need partner compatibility at 90% of everything to make it work whereas it's better to have 25% overall compatibility that covers those few things that are most important to you. The trouble is many of us don't know what those key things are until it's too late.

 

You say that or "I'll make sure to die after you, so you don't have to be left alone."

 

But very well said and pretty much like how i see love. Hopefully, i'll find it someday.

[nntsci 11076]

Lucky is thw man who with the passing of time continues to lust after the woman that he loves !

Or, lucky is the man who can afford to get that lust taken care of on the side... lol, without his love knowing.

[Guest c**io**m7]

I am one of those who firmly believes in love. I believe that we all do have that one person out there who will make us happy for the rest of our lives.

 

They don't always connect at the most convenient of times but, as a believer in love, I believe that, with patience, the day will come when they can connect and grow...IF the two truly are meant for each other.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I also strongly believe in love.. Love in its many wonderful forms.... the love of our Children.... the love of our Parents.... the love of our Family.... the love of true friends who are there for you in times of happiness but more importantly in the dark days of your life....and of course the Romantic love, the love of our spouse or partner or significant other.

 

I have been married for 30+ years and have remained in love with my wife for every day of that time. We have enjoyed our love in times of incredible happiness such as the birth of our children and now we have have our love to support us and hold us together in a very difficult part of our life. If there was not true love in my life I don't think there would be anything to really live for.

 

Ok... i know what your thinking... if i have this kind of love in my life why am I here, why am I involved in this hobby.

 

Well first... Sex and love are not the same thing.

 

Secondly and maybe more importantly I have come to learn in life that while Love can bring the greatest joy in life it can also cause the greatest pain. In a long meaningful relationship life is not always easy.... even with the best actions of everyone... life happens... tragedy happens... relationships get tested some times this results in the end of the love and the relationship and sometimes such as in my case it takes two people who are still very much in love and forces them to struggle to not let tragedy destroy them.

 

Will we succeed... I hope so... but that is by no means a certainty but whatever happens I still know I will Love her till the day I die.

 

So as we struggle I have found companionship and comfort and support in this hobby... far from being a sign that there is no such thing as real love it has provided me with support and companionship that has allowed time for my marriage to continue.

 

So yeah.... i strongly believe in LOVE.