Amelia Fox 9064 Report post Posted July 9, 2012 Ladies I am not sure,if I am being cautious or what? So I am opening my email and there it is... A name I have not seen for a least four,five years. The name is very well known to me... Humm.. The particular email in itself is of the young man I had seen on a sexual regualar bascis years ago,in my home town.. I literally was in shock..I guess in my mind I was secretly looking at him,wondering what if.. Could my life had been different? He approaches me in conversations ( I am dreading,and trying the one word answer game) I finally say hey we have met in years past,let him know who I am and his responce was.... OH its been so long,how has life treated you,what do you do,kids,husband,education,location,pets etc.. typical questions. I answer and leave with a smile yet here I am a few days later writing about me thinking of him.... What does that mean? Am I missing out on something that could of been worth my time invested? Or do we try to find this in all men we meet? (might I mention I was and still am a horney one Lol) If you gents have experienced this please feel free to let me know the details.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted July 9, 2012 Ladies I am not sure,if I am being cautious or what? So I am opening my email and there it is... A name I have not seen for a least four,five years. The name is very well known to me... Humm.. The particular email in itself is of the young man I had seen on a sexual regualar bascis years ago,in my home town.. I literally was in shock..I guess in my mind I was secretly looking at him,wondering what if.. Could my life had been different? He approaches me in conversations ( I am dreading,and trying the one word answer game) I finally say hey we have met in years past,let him know who I am and his responce was.... OH its been so long,how has life treated you,what do you do,kids,husband,education,location,pets etc.. typical questions. I answer and leave with a smile yet here I am a few days later writing about me thinking of him.... What does that mean? Am I missing out on something that could of been worth my time invested? Or do we try to find this in all men we meet? (might I mention I was and still am a horney one Lol) If you gents have experienced this please feel free to let me know the details.. Amelia. Per your situation, was the email that you opened to you as an SP and that is how that contact came to be? I am sure you asked him those same questions - kids, wife, education, location, pets etc.His answers to those may determine something for you. Looking back in life is always an easy thing to do, sometimes with new wisdom and better experience, sometimes just wistfully. Allow me to tell a story. My sister was married in 1971 and their marriage lasted only 2 years before they went their separate ways. It was not to be. In 1992 I met her former husband at a seminar, actually a group hypnosis session to help people stop smoking. Well, I saw him there and debated about approaching him. After it was over I walked behind him and when he left the building he stopped, leaned up against a lamp post and lit up. I grabbed my smokes and joined him. So much for the seminar, but something much moree important happened at that time. All of his questions were about my sister and he wanted to find her again. I called my sister that night, told her, and she gave the OK. A week later they were together, and two months after that were married for the second time. He passed away in 2011. I guess the point of the story is that when they were younger they were not ready, and both of them, for many many years regretted what had come to pass. Their second try at it was incredible, and both had regrets over all of the lost time. Does this have any bearing on your situation? I don't know. So Amelia, I shall be interested in what you do. PS. I hope that I have not missed the point of your thread completely! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 Tough one, that. I have no idea what you should do. One thing I can say, though... I really don't think it's a good idea to spend a lot of time wondering what might have been if things had turned out differently. Yes, we've all done it... but none of us have any clue. What if we'd stayed with that ex? What if we'd actually managed to get it on with that person? Maybe now you'd have a horde of kids; maybe you'd have divorced after a few years or just fallen out and split up after a few days; maybe you'd both have died in a plane crash on your honeymoon. You'll just never know, and I don't consider it particularly useful or productive to ponder endlessly on how things could have turned out. Get on and live life as it is now. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amelia Fox 9064 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 Amelia. Per your situation, was the email that you opened to you as an SP and that is how that contact came to be? I am sure you asked him those same questions - kids, wife, education, location, pets etc.His answers to those may determine something for you. Looking back in life is always an easy thing to do, sometimes with new wisdom and better experience, sometimes just wistfully. Allow me to tell a story. My sister was married in 1971 and their marriage lasted only 2 years before they went their separate ways. It was not to be. In 1992 I met her former husband at a seminar, actually a group hypnosis session to help people stop smoking. Well, I saw him there and debated about approaching him. After it was over I walked behind him and when he left the building he stopped, leaned up against a lamp post and lit up. I grabbed my smokes and joined him. So much for the seminar, but something much moree important happened at that time. All of his questions were about my sister and he wanted to find her again. I called my sister that night, told her, and she gave the OK. A week later they were together, and two months after that were married for the second time. He passed away in 2011. I guess the point of the story is that when they were younger they were not ready, and both of them, for many many years regretted what had come to pass. Their second try at it was incredible, and both had regrets over all of the lost time. Does this have any bearing on your situation? I don't know. So Amelia, I shall be interested in what you do. PS. I hope that I have not missed the point of your thread completely! Thank you Mrnice for your responce.It made me think..Your absolutely correct. Sometimes people we meet in life make us think back and remember those little fond moments,but thats where it is to stay in my past memories... I guess my thread was more aimed at asking if the ladies or gents have ever recieved contact from a person known to them in there "day to day life"(real name etc..) and if so how do you respond? I have recommend another Sp that I though was in the his area but am wanting to know if that was the right thing to do... Would you do things differently? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
northerntantra 4671 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 Amelia, As has been often discussed on other threads, the key difference between a romantic or life-partner relationship and an SP/client relationship is the emotional attachment. From your description of events, it sounds like you once had a romantic relationship with this person. The danger in attempting an SP/client relationship with this person is that it might slide into another romantic engagement. (It sounds like you are already curious about what might have happened had you continued your previous relationship.) You need to ask yourself whether you want to risk rekindling the romance. If not, you need to let them know that you can't see them as an SP now because of your past emotional involvement. You don't need to help them find an alternative -- that just prolongs the contact. If, after careful introspection, you find you are interested in rekindling the romance, you need to find out if they feel the same. If they do, then you should NOT engage them in an SP/client relationship, but you could consider dating them. Anyway, for what it's worth that's how I'd handle it. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Studio 110 by Sophia 150333 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 My Dear Amelia, For me, I draw a distinct line from the people who are in my "real" life to those whom are in this lifestyle. I have many people whom I have met in the "real" world that would love to book appts with me, but I will never let it happen. For a few reasons: 1, they now have a secrete weapon to use against me 2, they may try to take advantage of me by asking for "special rate for freinds" 3, I find it hard on my head! I think it just makes life so much more tricky to mix "real life" ppl ith those who I have a professional connection. We need to have the ability to disconnect ourselves to a degree, and with this case you may not be able to disconnect whereas you do have deep feeling for him. Hope this helps hun? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 Along the same lines as Phaedrus's thoughts. The past is the past, and can't come back. All you have is the present and future. There must be a reason why you two didn't stay together. Now, you are probably looking at your past with him through rose colored glasses, remembering all the good times, forgetting, or minimizing the bad...btw not a criticism, I think that's just human nature. Are you content in your present life? Do you still have feelings for him, or are you just wondering "what if" I don't know the details of what your life was like with him, so I won't give you advice on what to do, except do what will make you happy, not just in the short term, but long term too. Dr. Phil signing off LOL For whatever that is worth RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
