Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted July 11, 2012 Several years back my wife told me I could have an affair as long as it was not with the same woman. My wife told me she felt guilty about the lack of sex but she didn't want me forming an emotional attachment with an ongoing tryst. Sensing a trap i didn't bite but she seemed genuine so without her knowledge(i didn't want her feeling bad) I looked around. I didn't want any entanglements intruding on my home life so I opted for the escort route and came across cerb's site. I tend to be quiet/shy so beautiful women offering me safe sex seemed ideal. Seeing these wonderful women over the last few years has helped me to understand and accept my sexual urges, become more passionate and relaxed in bed. I'm hoping I can take what i learned and make things better at home since I was never really great in the past. This brings me to my question. What do you think makes for a good lover? I could be a better listener but I am demonstrative and do nice things for my wife. I also work at keeping her attracted to me. So, ladies (or gents) what works for you that might help me improve my performance? I've perfected the piledriver technique but I'm thinking there's more to it. LOL Maybe give her 50 shades of grey for her birthday. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. Steve Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 Caring more about your partners pleasure than your own....usually pays off in spades. Peace MG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DukeSSk 3430 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 Not being selfish is the first thing that comes to mind. Also, maybe taking the initiative to talk about it in an open and understanding manner. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathalie L 112512 Report post Posted July 12, 2012 I agree! Being able to talk about sex is really important, and being able to communicate about what you like and don't like is a huge part of that. What makes a good lover? Being able to listen, not only to what people say, but what they say with their bodies. Communication doesn't always have to be spoken, I love listening to the movements of a partner's body, and listening to the cues they give me. I also think being a good lover is about being comfortable with pushing your own sexual boundaries if that's what your partner desires. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cleo Catra 178382 Report post Posted July 12, 2012 For me, being able to read your partner is most important. A question I'm asked a lot is 'what do you like', and it's hard to put in to words. I go crazy for a lover who can see that look come in to my eyes, or can hear my intake of breath, when something is done, and they can tell I like it. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
backrubman 64800 Report post Posted July 12, 2012 For me, being able to read your partner is most important. A question I'm asked a lot is 'what do you like', and it's hard to put in to words. I go crazy for a lover who can see that look come in to my eyes, or can hear my intake of breath, when something is done, and they can tell I like it. Yes, reading those unspoken clues is mysterious and great but I have to say that when someone is able to articulate with words what they really like, in that they are in touch with them self to really know what pushes their buttons and open enough to disclose it, well that is seriously magically also. Might not be as mystical as the unspoken but such knowledge does make for a great lover as everyone is different in their own special way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Befuzzled 752 Report post Posted July 16, 2012 Yes, reading those unspoken clues is mysterious and great but I have to say that when someone is able to articulate with words what they really like, in that they are in touch with them self to really know what pushes their buttons and open enough to disclose it, well that is seriously magically also. Might not be as mystical as the unspoken but such knowledge does make for a great lover as everyone is different in their own special way. I was with a woman for some time years ago who showed me exactly how she liked to be pleasured by demonstrating the touch that worked best for her by simulating oral on my nipples. This turned out to be extremely helpful for both her and I, not to mention hot as hell. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madison_Sparks 3740 Report post Posted July 16, 2012 What makes an incredible lover is not a "technique" a well excited "move" or "tips and tricks" in a play book. Making love/lust is about losing yourself in their touch, becoming excited by the pleasure your partner. What pleases you with one partner may not have the same effect as another. I also agree that communication is key. Being able to say "I love it when you ......." And "please be gentile when you......." Is a good way to get what you want out of the bedroom. Also sexual intimacy is not restricted to the bedroom act. Taking a long walk around the lake while flirting and touching each other. Intimate massages that end in you drawing her a bubble bath to wash off the oil and a nice bottle of wine tied up in each others arms. These are somethings that can set a mood for an amazing encounter, or have long term positive effects in a solid relationship. A good lover is one who derives pleasure from their partner. That said it takes two to tango <3 Posted via Mobile Device 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
