Questions/subjects to avoid initiating with an SP

[northerntantra 4671]

Recently, Vanguard joined CERB and in his first message he mentioned the following ...

 

I'm also learning that there's a certain way to do things, and certain way not to do things with an SP. There are certain questions you just don't ask. I've already stepped on someones toes with some unintentional inapropriate questions. I feel kind of like I'm in a mine field and keep stepping on all of the mines ...

 

I did a quick check of this section and couldn't find any advice on questions or subjects to avoid initiating with an SP. Perhaps we could all weigh in with our thoughts on this.

 

Some of it is common sense of course. I would avoid subjects that I'd avoid at a dinner party with people I didn't know; e.g. religion and politics. And I'd avoid sensitive personal questions; e.g. about age, weight, sexual orientation, etc.

 

But with an SP I think there are some other questions or subjects that are best avoided, or at least, approached with caution. For example:

- anything that might help reveal the SP's true identity; e.g. asking her real name, where she was born, etc.

- inquiring into her motivation for being an SP

 

Those are just two examples. My questions to the community are:

1. As an SP, are there questions or subjects that you are uncomfortable with, especially from a new client?

2. As a client, are there questions or subjects you avoid on the first visit, or first several visits, or perhaps always?

[cat 262460]

1. Whats your "real" name?

2. How many men have you been with today?

3. So, have you been busy?

4. Is your real hair color/breast size/nails/tan real?

5. How did you get into the business?

6. Do you have a boyfriend/SO/partner?

7. Why don't you go Indie?

8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj?

9. Why do you have to put the condom on now?

10. Can I have a tour of your place?

11. Who is that in the picture?

12. Are the sheets clean?

13. Did you shower?

14. Tell me the difference between the 1hr and 2hr option besides time, I might want to readjust our session.

15. Is that what you are wearing?

16. I thought you would be _________ (taller, shorter, skinnier, fatter, younger, older)

17. I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes)

18. Do you own this place?

19. You should take yoga.

20. Have you ever considered having your breasts done?

21. Do you have a bong?

22. Can you drive me home afterwards?

23. I have a friend in the car, is it ok if he waits in your livingroom?

24. How many children do you have?

25. Do you REALLY enjoy it or are you an awesome actress?

26. Can we "just hang out" cause I think we have a real connection.

27. What are the perks if I become a good regular?

28. Can I leave my shoes and socks on for the whole visit?

29. Whats the weirdest request you've ever had?

30. Has anyone ever hurt you during an appointment?

31. Does your family know what you do?

 

And my all time favorite!

 

32. Your such a smart woman, why don't you get a real job?

 

These are all questions I have been asked personally and they range from mildly annoying to WTF is he thinking!

 

cat

[DukeSSk 3430]

1. Whats your "real" name?

2. How many men have you been with today?

3. So, have you been busy?

4. Is your real hair color/breast size/nails/tan real?

5. How did you get into the business?

6. Do you have a boyfriend/SO/partner?

7. Why don't you go Indie?

8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj?

9. Why do you have to put the condom on now?

10. Can I have a tour of your place?

11. Who is that in the picture?

12. Are the sheets clean?

13. Did you shower?

14. Tell me the difference between the 1hr and 2hr option besides time, I might want to readjust our session.

15. Is that what you are wearing?

16. I thought you would be _________ (taller, shorter, skinnier, fatter, younger, older)

17. I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes)

18. Do you own this place?

19. You should take yoga.

20. Have you ever considered having your breasts done?

21. Do you have a bong?

22. Can you drive me home afterwards?

23. I have a friend in the car, is it ok if he waits in your livingroom?

24. How many children do you have?

25. Do you REALLY enjoy it or are you an awesome actress?

26. Can we "just hang out" cause I think we have a real connection.

27. What are the perks if I become a good regular?

28. Can I leave my shoes and socks on for the whole visit?

29. Whats the weirdest request you've ever had?

30. Has anyone ever hurt you during an appointment?

31. Does your family know what you do?

 

And my all time favorite!

 

32. Your such a smart woman, why don't you get a real job?

 

These are all questions I have been asked personally and they range from mildly annoying to WTF is he thinking!

 

cat

 

Wow, what a list. This should be a mandatory reading for all gentlemen. My jaw dropped at some questions. I agree, "WTF was he thinking", lol !!

 

What I'm wondering is during GFE encounter: Some conservation is to be expected, correct? What's a good icebreaker?

 

I saw some websites and CERB profiles where the ladies talk about themselves; some are or were post-secondary students, have some interests (art, history, etc...).

 

So, I was thinking of saying "I saw that you enjoy..." and take it from there.

 

Thoughts? Ideas or suggestions? I'm hoping that one of my questions doesn't end up on your list

[EmilyRushton 253377]

 

What I'm wondering is during GFE encounter: Some conservation is to be expected, correct? What's a good icebreaker?

 

Yes that is correct during a GFE Encounter or experience conversation is definitely part of the package.

 

As you mentioned briefly reading the companions ads or website will give you a better feel as to what she is about and can lead you to some open topics. A few email exchanges prior to any date give both parties a bit of an insite to one another and the conversation from there should blossom (I ask any potential date to tell me about them-self, so I havs something to break the ice when we meet if there is a quiet moment). That being said if you are shy in nature, within a few minutes with any companion she should have you relaxed and chatting away in no time.

 

Keep the conversation fun and away from business and or too personal and you should have no problems.

[SexxxyRebecca 57990]

1. Whats your "real" name?

2. How many men have you been with today?

3. So, have you been busy?

4. Is your real hair color/breast size/nails/tan real?

5. How did you get into the business?

6. Do you have a boyfriend/SO/partner?

7. Why don't you go Indie?

8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj?

9. Why do you have to put the condom on now?

10. Can I have a tour of your place?

11. Who is that in the picture?

12. Are the sheets clean?

13. Did you shower?

14. Tell me the difference between the 1hr and 2hr option besides time, I might want to readjust our session.

15. Is that what you are wearing?

16. I thought you would be _________ (taller, shorter, skinnier, fatter, younger, older)

17. I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes)

18. Do you own this place?

19. You should take yoga.

20. Have you ever considered having your breasts done?

21. Do you have a bong?

22. Can you drive me home afterwards?

23. I have a friend in the car, is it ok if he waits in your livingroom?

24. How many children do you have?

25. Do you REALLY enjoy it or are you an awesome actress?

26. Can we "just hang out" cause I think we have a real connection.

27. What are the perks if I become a good regular?

28. Can I leave my shoes and socks on for the whole visit?

29. Whats the weirdest request you've ever had?

30. Has anyone ever hurt you during an appointment?

31. Does your family know what you do?

 

And my all time favorite!

 

32. Your such a smart woman, why don't you get a real job?

 

These are all questions I have been asked personally and they range from mildly annoying to WTF is he thinking!

 

cat

 

I couldnt say better.. but there's another one Ive been asked and I hate is;

 

"How much do you do in a day-week?"

 

Is it just me but no matters what is your job is really indiscret?

[LeeRichards 177238]

1. Whats your "real" name?

2. How many men have you been with today?

3. So, have you been busy?

4. Is your real hair color/breast size/nails/tan real?

5. How did you get into the business?

6. Do you have a boyfriend/SO/partner?

7. Why don't you go Indie?

8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj?

9. Why do you have to put the condom on now?

10. Can I have a tour of your place?

11. Who is that in the picture?

12. Are the sheets clean?

13. Did you shower?

14. Tell me the difference between the 1hr and 2hr option besides time, I might want to readjust our session.

15. Is that what you are wearing?

16. I thought you would be _________ (taller, shorter, skinnier, fatter, younger, older)

17. I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes)

18. Do you own this place?

19. You should take yoga.

20. Have you ever considered having your breasts done?

21. Do you have a bong?

22. Can you drive me home afterwards?

23. I have a friend in the car, is it ok if he waits in your livingroom?

24. How many children do you have?

25. Do you REALLY enjoy it or are you an awesome actress?

26. Can we "just hang out" cause I think we have a real connection.

27. What are the perks if I become a good regular?

28. Can I leave my shoes and socks on for the whole visit?

29. Whats the weirdest request you've ever had?

30. Has anyone ever hurt you during an appointment?

31. Does your family know what you do?

 

And my all time favorite!

 

32. Your such a smart woman, why don't you get a real job?

 

These are all questions I have been asked personally and they range from mildly annoying to WTF is he thinking!

 

cat

 

Cat .... that pretty much covers it ! Simply awesome :) Not just newcomers to hobbying but ALL hobbyists should read your post !!

 

Now I hope to meet you someday.....and I promise Cat that I will not ask you if I can stand you on your head ;) nor will I attempt to stand on my head either.....safety first ........

[Luckyme 41401]

That's hilarious, Cat ! And.. you have such good memory - it's amazing!

[fortunateone 156618]

I would say all of the above, plus "Do you live here?"

 

"Can we do it without a condom?"

 

"Is it ok if I _____ (smoke/do some kind of drug/get drunk)?"

 

 

 

Some sps live at their incall, some do not, some rent a space from someone who does, etc. In any case, it is not something an sps wants to hear from a new client, as it is already somewhat of a trust issue just providing the incall location in the first place.

 

 

re: #28, I don't mind if someone leaves their socks on when it's cold outside, but shoes?? ??

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Do you do your taxes?

If so, how much do you declare?

All your income or just a small part of it?

What does your accountant think about what you do for a living?

Do you pay him in cash or just exchange 'services'?

[stevecurious 42059]

What does your accountant think about what you do for a living?

 

Gabby, I would think this would be an honest question considering how many rolls of coins you have to present him with. I kid, I kid...heat stroke is frying my already heat stroked brain.

 

I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes)

[mrgreen760 37785]

Do these pants make me look fat?

 

Peace

MG

[Vanguard 278]

Wow it's great to see this thread, that's for sure! I love the list you posted cat. I laughed at a lot of them, but I'm curious about the business, so there were a few that I might have actually brought up as small talk. hahaha You saved me. :)

 

There's a reference to my post where I mention that I already asked an SP a few questions that weren't taken as well as I'd hoped. The questions that I asked were worded more kindly than this, but basically were:

 

1. Do you have a substance habit?

 

2. Do you have a pimp?

 

I know that these questions are pretty brutal and that I should've known better. I just want my donations to go towards giving someone a great happy life, not towards funding habits that are at a destructive level of abuse. It's against everything I've been raised to represent as a human being. I don't ever want to go home wondering if I just helped ruin a life, it's not worth any fun that we could possibly have together. I thought the SP might like the fact that I care about others, but I didn't take the time to look at it from her POV. In the end they were selfish and stereotypical questions and I was trying to easy my own conscience without considering someone elses feelings.

 

Please keep in mind that this was before I came to realize that there was a gigantic difference between the fine members of CERB, and the crazy women who try to wave me down when I drive around the city at night. A week or two ago I even had one obviously high woman on Merivale Rd almost rip me off of my motorcycle as I was slowing down for a turn. Her skeleton body with her huge spaced out eyes and toothless mouth was like something out of a horror movie. You could tell she was desperate for cash for the next hit and looked like a zombie that was desperate for brains. I throttled out of there as fast as I could. If I had NOS I would've used it! hahaha

 

I'm so thankful for this website, it's members, and all of the great professional SPs out there keeping it classy!

 

Vanguard

[BLUEDEVIL2222 857]

I have often thought about asking is there anythig I can do as a client to make the experince more enjoyable for the SP ie position she likes or technique she likes. I try to be an attentive person has a hobyist and in my person life but am really unsure if it is polite to ask as a client? Any insight.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I have often thought about asking is there anythig I can do as a client to make the experince more enjoyable for the SP ie position she likes or technique she likes. I try to be an attentive person has a hobyist and in my person life but am really unsure if it is polite to ask as a client? Any insight.

 

Heck yeah! Ask away!

[Jhena Grey 25615]

Do you do your taxes?

If so, how much do you declare?

All your income or just a small part of it?

What does your accountant think about what you do for a living?

Do you pay him in cash or just exchange 'services'?

 

 

Someone once asked if they could do my taxes.

[piano8950 32577]

8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj?

 

I'm confused about this one, what does this even mean?

 

13. Did you shower?

 

13 might have been asked due to a previous bad experience (a member posted here about an SP he was with that informed another client that she'd be with him in the matter of minutes while he was still in the room).

[cat 262460]

13 might have been asked due to a previous bad experience (a member posted here about an SP he was with that informed another client that she'd be with him in the matter of minutes while he was still in the room).

 

I understand but if you've ever met me, you would understand my shock. I'm OCD, my place reeks of Javex from sanitizing and everything including my body is immaculate...

cat

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

Heck yeah! Ask away!

 

I think its awesome when I am asked. I am not a mind reader and I sometimes ask if unsure. Communication is the key on both sides to a great date. I always go back to everyone is different and that is what makes life so interesting. Talk and ask away. ( me anyway)

[roamingguy 300292]

Now it should be noted, when you see a lady for repeat encounters, you both get to know one another a bit better, sometimes a lot better. And questions that would be no-no's on a first date, well on second, third, fourth, fifth etc dates are acceptable. There are still boundaries, but the boundary has expanded. The lady sometimes feels safe sharing aspects of her personal life, and conversely, you as a gentleman feel just as safe sharing aspects of your personal life with the lady

But, and said with emphasis, if you are ever so lucky to meet ladies who you click with and see on repeat basis, what is said behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors. What you two share privately is just that, private. And it adds a special kind of intimacy to the encounter, that you trust one another to share.

That said, for newbies especially, and for first time encounters, follow Cat's guidelines and you can't go wrong.

Some morning ramblings

RG

[northerntantra 4671]

I have often thought about asking is there anythig I can do as a client to make the experince more enjoyable for the SP ie position she likes or technique she likes. I try to be an attentive person has a hobyist and in my person life but am really unsure if it is polite to ask as a client? Any insight.

 

This seems to me to be exactly the type of question or subject that should be "in bounds". While an SP might reserve certain things for their private life, a general question like this shouldn't be off putting and I suspect most SP's would be quite receptive to it. In fact, I would find it pretty strange if they weren't, though I suspect many may turn the focus back to you since it's their role to make you happy. That said, I'm sure many clients derive a lot of pleasure from knowing they are pleasing their partner. An astute SP recognizes this and helps satisfy that need by communicating her likes and dislikes too. Then both parties have a great time.

 

Client questions sometimes stray into the "out of bounds" areas because we are curious or eager to know what the boundaries are in this business. This is especially true for newbies. Respectfullness and patience are the key qualities a client needs to exhibit in order to avoid triggering an SP's "spidey sense".

[Shelly Lane 13856]

Well this is a great thread for all to read.

 

I have gotten this question a few times and it kind of leaves me with an uneasy feeling,

 

What type of childhood did you have?

 

Was there sexual molestation in any way?

 

Did that lead you to this career?

 

I know there are many myths out there that say our childhood events lead us to this career but I dont dfeel that is the norm. Everyone has thier own reasons for thier career choices and I wished some clients would not think that every SP had an incident, that lead to this career.

 

I believe your upbring is a very personal area, that unless is brought up by the SP, it should go UNmentioned.

[DukeSSk 3430]

Yes that is correct during a GFE Encounter or experience conversation is definitely part of the package.

 

As you mentioned briefly reading the companions ads or website will give you a better feel as to what she is about and can lead you to some open topics. A few email exchanges prior to any date give both parties a bit of an insite to one another and the conversation from there should blossom (I ask any potential date to tell me about them-self, so I havs something to break the ice when we meet if there is a quiet moment). That being said if you are shy in nature, within a few minutes with any companion she should have you relaxed and chatting away in no time.

 

Keep the conversation fun and away from business and or too personal and you should have no problems.

 

Perfect, thanks for the tips. This is somehat what I had in mind. :)

 

Well this is a great thread for all to read.

 

I have gotten this question a few times and it kind of leaves me with an uneasy feeling,

 

What type of childhood did you have?

 

Was there sexual molestation in any way?

 

Did that lead you to this career?

 

I know there are many myths out there that say our childhood events lead us to this career but I dont dfeel that is the norm. Everyone has thier own reasons for thier career choices and I wished some clients would not think that every SP had an incident, that lead to this career.

 

I believe your upbring is a very personal area, that unless is brought up by the SP, it should go UNmentioned.

 

That's really unfortunate :( I would never ever ask a lady that.

[billybob 20128]

How about:

 

What's the most guys you've seen in one day?

 

And I will be brutally honest to say that I have wondered about that question, but of course would never think to ask.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I think its awesome when I am asked. I am not a mind reader and I sometimes ask if unsure. Communication is the key on both sides to a great date. I always go back to everyone is different and that is what makes life so interesting. Talk and ask away. ( me anyway)

 

I am always asked what I like..... I do have my likes but I am very much a go with where the sutuation takes us...

 

I do like to ask what you like and don't like however. Sooo many times you ladies are doing what you feel the guys want or have requested..... when I am in your company I want YOU to enjoy what you like too and makes you feel good and warm and fuzzy and stuff ;) I will try my best to make it an enjoyable date for you too.

 

and I won't ask you to stand on your head....still chuckling about that one.

 

and I wouldn't ask you when you are getting a real job....because if you didn't have a real job I wouldn't be laying there with a big smile and a woody and having a grande old time otherwise. My accountant has a real job too.....she stuffs a big bill up my ass..... as does my lawyer, plumber, electrician and Revenue Canada. My doctor has a real job....tries to shove his finger up my ass but I won't let him ;) You ladies make me SMILE :D Yay for you girls !! My friends in this bitch of a real world many days ! xox

[roamingguy 300292]

 

and I wouldn't ask you when you are getting a real job....because if you didn't have a real job I wouldn't be laying there with a big smile and a woody and having a grande old time otherwise. My accountant has a real job too.....she stuffs a big bill up my ass..... as does my lawyer, plumber, electrician and Revenue Canada. My doctor has a real job....tries to shove his finger up my ass but I won't let him ;) You ladies make me SMILE :D Yay for you girls !! My friends in this bitch of a real world many days ! xox

 

The ladies I see put a BIG SMILE on my face too Lee. I look forward to my once a month escape with a special lady. And the ladies I see are as important to me as are other people in my life.

RG