For SPs: Our Work and Families

[C**** C***l 155]

I am the mother of two kids, a 12 year old and a 17 year old...I became a Sex Worker (this is the term I use with my older child) in my early 40's...I already had a successful career and chose to fulfil what I can only say is my calling at a much later stage in life than many who work in this industry...

 

Has being a parent affected me as a Sex Worker? Yes...there have been a few occasions where I have had to cancel sessions due to one or both of the kids being ill...it is unfortunate but life happens...often when we least expect it...fortunately, clients who I have had to cancel appointments with have been compassionate and understanding...

 

My seventeen year old knows exactly what I do and has never been afraid to ask well thought out, relevant questions....personally, I have always maintained the fact that honest, age appropriate answers are best and will keep the lines of communication open...particularly during tougher adolescent stages...honest, and again I reiterate, age appropriate information about virtually any subject has been the catalyst that has resulted in an established deeper trust between my children and I...

 

Has being a Sex Worker affected me as a parent? Yes...very recently, another Sex Worker reported me to Manitoba Child and Family Services with an anonymous allegation that I was putting my twelve year old at risk for abuse due to the nature of my work...

 

How do I know it was another Sex Worker if the allegation was anonymous? The way allegation was worded was the biggest factor...and some of the accusations made were things known only after I posted them in the Ladies Lounge on another board...

 

I was contacted at home after Abuse Investigators had my younger child taken out of class to be interviewed...a meeting was set up for an Abuse Investigator to come to my house to conduct an investigation the next day...

 

Following a guilt-ridden, sleepless night imagining all the worst case scenarios, I submitted to two hours of questioning and an inspection of my incall space in my home...I was informed that my websites and advertising had been perused bi the agency...

 

I was told that based on the fact that I don't see clients when my kids are home, and that a plan is in place to ensure the kids and my clients do not cross paths, the Abuse Investigator was reasonably sure the file would be closed...

 

Once the report of the investigation was complete, I was called and told that my child was extremely intelligent, articulate and that based on the Abuse Investigators' findings, we were a family who relied on open, honest communication...I was also told the allegations were deemed to be unfounded and the file would indeed be closed...

 

Another important point came from that last call...an assurance that what I choose to do for a living is my business (literally) and since there was no sign of abuse or risks of abuse, I didn't need to worry about this information being passed to any other agency or to LE...

 

This situation, which arose from someone's need to be malicious, definitely affected me profoundly both as a parent and as a Sex Worker....it made me realize how important it is to bring about changing the perception society has of our industry...I also came to the conclusion that "coming out" as a Sex Worker was the first step...This was followed bi the realization that I needed to get more involved with organizations that are working locally, nationally and globally toward ensuring the rights of Sex Workers...

 

For me this is a moral imperative; one that I hope will be taken up bi more Sex Workers and our Allies to create a grassroots movement... This will be the only way to change the thoughts of politicians, legislators and members of our communities...

 

At the risk of sounding preachy, let's all do what we can to make our communities more sex-positive...please....

 

 

 

 

[antlerman 17064]

dee....this just shows you how good a parent you are and how well adjusted and well brought up your kids are.........

[whatsup 11893]

SamanthaE, EmmaA and Sinfulsydnee

 

I commend you all on instilling such virtuous values to you children through open, honest lines of communication.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

Sinfulsydnee, thank you for sharing your story. My hat goes off to you--hell, I'll take everything off! I'm truly heartened to hear about the way things worked out for you. You're a great mom, that's clear.

 

Reading your story also heightens my awareness that, even after a long time, I'm still afraid of what my ex-husband would do, or try to do, if he learned how I'm making my living. He'd rather pay his lawyer to litigate than pay child support. That's really a crime!

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, Rachelle. That you and Sydnee were probably turned in by other escorts is especially troubling to me.

 

I would make the same decision you have, though. My son and his security come first, always.

[archer_kempt 258]

On one level it strikes me that an SP who is also a mom is likely to also be a SP who would be very health conscious and careful, if for no other reason , because they do have a family...

[YoungStud 468]

On one level it strikes me that an SP who is also a mom is likely to also be a SP who would be very health conscious and careful, if for no other reason , because they do have a family...

 

Yep, more conscientious than most, unless they are totally screwed up emotionally because of bad stuff in their younger years.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

You could be right, gentlemen! Having children does tend to make many of us more cautious about a lot of things. I do think I had a pretty good sense of self-respect and preservation before I had kids, though. Just very committed to living my life, I'd say.

 

Nonetheless, I came out of retirement because I have children to support, so it doesn't make sense to compromise on my health which could make supporting them impossible.